Chapter 14
FOURTEEN
TO. MY LOVE - CNBLUE
One of the highlights of Dream A Little Dream Minji was the end, where the guest would play a small showcase of their music and perform a duet with the host. These segments were usually filmed in front of a live audience, a mix of Minji’s and the guests’ fans.
For Cal Ahn’s episode, the show rented a small Hongdae venue to host the showcase. Siwan and Lia had been together, trying out a new cafe in the apartment complex mall, when he found out that tickets were sold out in fifteen minutes.
“We’re back. We’re so back.” Siwan chuckled like he couldn’t believe it either, making Lia smile. “God! It feels good.”
“You’re about to be such a menace to the industry. I’m happy for you.” Lia nodded at him, because it was right. The band was going to kill it.
“And you’re getting ready to leave,” Siwan said, never one to pull punches, apparently. Look at him oh so casually sipping his orange juice espresso like he didn’t want to pry open Lia’s insides. “I know about the fight.”
“It wasn’t a fight,” Lia insisted. “It was a discussion.”
“Aish. Lia-yah, you don’t have to be practical all the time, you know.” Siwan rolled his eyes. “But hyung doesn’t have to be a romantic all the time, either. Which, fine. But still.”
“Are you worried about me and your hyung?”
“No.” Siwan sniffed the air, wrinkling his nose in distaste. “You guys do what you want. I’m worried that if you end on bad terms, my hyung-him will be miserable. And that’s just not something I want for him, is all.”
Lia looked up in surprise. Siwan was still looking away, sipping his coffee as if he were extremely uncomfortable, but her heart was melting. “Siwan-ah.”
“What,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest.
“You’re a good friend to Cal,” she assured him. “But also my bias wrecker.”
Was that (gasp) a blush on Siwan’s cheeks? “Um. Thanks.”
“Can I hug you? No, wait. You don’t want to be hugged.”
“Ugh.” Siwan made a disgruntled noise and rolled his eyes. They were clearly in public? What if someone saw? “You can give me a hug, Lia-yah. It’s okay.”
She did. It was a nice hug, where she told him she would miss him too, and he had to remember to take care of his hyung, and that she was going to root for the band, always. That he could come to Manila to see her anytime.
“You know Cal went to the airport after Bomseok. I think it was about six months after he left, and hyung just moved to Hannam with us. He said he hated being in that apartment alone, and he might as well go to Canada,” Siwan said, and Lia’s eyes widened in surprise.
Cal didn’t even tell her that. “I drove him. He had his passport, his wallet, and a harebrained idea that it was all he needed. He wanted that big, movie moment, you know. The running up to each other, the kissing like you didn’t want to breathe without each other. ” Siwan laughed. “Just…FYI.”
Lia ignored him. “What happened?”
“Your brother called, saying he wanted to work with us on the new mini album.” Siwan chuckled. “Said he’d heard Bolt of Blue when he was younger, and wanted to explore what CoBOLT could sound like now. How listening to us was like a lightning strike moment, that changed everything.”
Lia didn’t realize that her brother had noticed that. It had been a defining moment for her, the realization that she was a person who was a fan of a group. That she liked this kind of music, that she was the kind of person who was willing to fly thousands of miles for things she loved.
“Anyway. I’m just glad I got to meet you.”
“Is this your way of saying goodbye?”
“No. If you’re going to be a part of Cal hyung’s life, then I’m going to be here. And now, you are not getting rid of me. Ever.”
“Oh. I like that.”
“I know. Me too. I’m going to get you a ticket to the showcase.” Siwan told her in that matter-of-fact way of his, tapping on his phone like it held the secrets to all ticketing ever. “I’d better see you in front, Lia-yah, I swear.”
Lia smiled and teased him about not really being a fan, but the idea of the showcase was exciting.
The last time she’d seen CoBOLT was nine years ago, and she felt better prepared to watch the show back then than she was today.
She didn’t have merch! Was it too eager to go early? What time should she be there?
Today’s showcase was happening at a small venue near Hongik University, the kind of place that was dark and sticky and served beer, and she hadn’t set foot in since she turned twenty.
Lia had looked up the capacity—three thousand on a really full day—and hosted artists she’d never heard of, whose reputations were probably better known in circles that weren’t KPop.
There was a line forming at the venue when she arrived, and Lia could almost taste the excitement.
To her surprise, there were many foreigners, speaking a variety of languages, from Portuguese to Cantonese.
A fan was handing out scrunchies that had LED lights inside in lieu of a light stick (because this band did not have a light stick!
A crime!). Another fan distributed handheld posters reading “COBOLT FIGHTING!” with romanized lyrics and instructions to sing along to “Bolt of Blue” in the back.
Lia’s work brain caught her notice that only a few fans had official merch—most were just wearing blue—but what the agency hadn’t supplied, the fans seemed happy to fill the gaps with.
It was hard to tell who the Minji fans were versus the BOLTs, because maybe it was a fork found in the kitchen situation?
Lia’s phone rang, which was odd until she realized it was Cal. Eyes wide with shock, her first instinct was to swipe the call away. Until he called again. Jeez!
“Hi,” she whispered to her phone. “Um, now’s not a good time.”
“Oh. I thought…I mean, where are you?”
“Um. Secret.”
“Did Teddy not tell you about the showcase?”
“Yes, but—”
“Why do I still have to convince you that you’re a part of this?” Cal asked, and his tone took Lia aback. “Of course I—we. We want you to be here.” Then he seemed to decide against censoring himself. “I want you here, Lia. You can’t leave me without hearing us, and—”
“I’m here.” She said, so close to saying his name, she had to physically stop herself by putting her hand on her mouth. “I’m in Hongdae. At the venue. I’m outside. Cloudy Hall, 7 PM.”
The relief from his end of the line was palpable. Mostly because she could feel it too, like a balm to a worrying itch.
“You’re here,” he repeated, and she knew that everything had changed.
That a choice had been made, and she would never know a life that didn’t have Cal in it.
Lia felt responsible for the choice she had made and wanted to keep it close to her heart, knowing that whatever happened, it was a good one.
“Siwan got me a ticket.”
“Siwan! That little—I’ll have Dongyeon hyung find you. Do not move. We need to talk.”
“Now?” Then he hung up, and Lia wanted to melt into the pavement because her legs suddenly felt like jelly. How very foreboding of him. In front of her, a blonde BOLT turned her and smiled.
“Photo card?”
Three minutes later, Dongyeon found her in line and asked her to follow him in.
There was no time for Lia to worry that she looked like she was being called off to be scolded for something—she just smiled at the girl who gave her the Soobin photocard, and followed Dongyeon inside.
He handed her a staff lanyard, slapped a wristband on her wrist and led her down into the basement venue.
Lia quickly noticed the entire venue was standing-room-only. Not very thirty-year-old-friendly, but she understood what the vibe was. She found her brother at the sound booth, quietly observing whatever musical setup was happening there.
“Ate!” he exclaimed when he saw Lia. “You’re here!”
“Everyone is so shocked?” She chuckled. But upon seeing her brother, she remembered something and frowned. “You didn’t tell me the album was done.”
“It’s so not done.” Teddy snorted. “But it’s enough. We need to go home, Ate. I have Andi, and work, and our entire lives back there.”
He was right. There was no edge of Seoul she felt the need to explore, still. The self she’d been trying to find here was a person she liked, she wanted to be, and stick around. Money was spent, shopping lists were checked off. They were done.
“You should probably head backstage,” he suggested. “Cal was looking for you.”
“I’ll wish him luck,” Lia told herself more than him before she headed backstage, even as her heart fluttered at the title. It was easy enough to find the green room, and the security in front of the door let her in after she flashed him her staff pass. She could get used to that.
The green room was way more chaotic than she had pictured.
In one corner, someone from the agency was piling fan gifts that included flowers, balloons and in one case, a basket full of…
was that pancit canton? Fan letters were being gathered and neatly placed aside.
Lia would later learn that Siwan made it a point to read as much as he could—because the man had always been a secret softie.
There were stylists making adjustments to accessories, debating the merits of a belt or a jacket, some busy, fluttering around Siwan to style his hair while he took a photo for his socials.
Soobin was holding court with the styling team, offering pizza while he had some.
Minseo, the band’s second manager, was there, and he intervened when the security tried to bar Lia from entering.
“Noona!” Soobin exclaimed, picking up a box and holding it up to her. “You came! I got you a shirt!”
“What?” Lia asked, confused as Soobin waved a CoBOLT shirt at her, the kind she hadn’t been able to afford when she saw them on tour years ago.
“It’s a gift from me, because Cal hyung said we needed to show you we love you.”
“Oh my god.” Lia wanted to crawl into a hole, and turned to Siwan. “Is that why you bought me a ticket?”