16. Izzy
IZZY
I look at the clock and wonder what is taking Ryker and his dad so long. As soon as he left, I regretted my words. I don’t want him to go… but I also don’t want him to resent me if he stays.
Caroline is the first to arrive. She comes, carrying her famous macaroni and cheese, and I take it from her and set it down on the hot plates on the buffet table Ryker set up this morning. I peel back the foil. “This looks amazing.”
She takes off her coat and is wearing a Christmas sweater. I gasp in surprise. “You! You’re wearing a Christmas sweater? You always make fun of mine.”
She rolls her eyes. “You can thank your boyfriend. He dropped it off to me at work this week and told me to wear it.”
At that moment, Brock comes back into the kitchen. “Hey, Aunt Caroline.”
She’s not his aunt by blood, but she might as well be. She hugs him. “Oh, poor kid. You too, huh? Ryker must really have it bad if he’s making all of us wear these.”
She pulls at Brock’s sweatshirt like it’s offended her in some way. Brock laughs. “At least I just have to wear it here this time. Last time, I had to wear one to the Christmas tree farm and?—”
Before he can complain any more, I point at him. “And you got a girl’s number wearing a Christmas sweater, so I think you’ll be okay.”
Caroline gasps. “Awwwww, you got a girl’s number? Who is it? Tell me all about her.”
Brock holds his hands up. “Forget it. I’m outta here. Let me know when dinner is ready.”
He walks out of the room, and I turn back to the stove. Everything is ready; I’m just waiting on Ryker to get back.
I hear him and his dad come through the front door, and because I’m ridiculous and I missed him the forty-five minutes he’s been gone, I walk out into the living room. Walter comes up to me, pointing at his Christmas sweater. “What do you think? My son got it for me.”
I literally have to hold back tears. “He did, did he? Well, Walter, you look amazing.”
I hug him, and when he releases me, Ryker comes up to me as he’s pulling his Christmas sweater down over his T-shirt. He envelops me in a huge hug and whispers to me, “I love you, Izzy.”
I let out a sigh of relief. I don’t know what I thought, but I was prepared for him to come to his senses and decide he was leaving and going back to Texas. I wouldn’t blame him if he did with the way I pushed him away.
I put a hand to his chest. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted to carve the ham.”
He claps his hands together. “I’d love to.”
Ryker kisses me and walks into the kitchen. I look at the other three. “We’re eating in five minutes. Brock, can you show Walter to the dining room?”
“Sure thing. Come on, Mr. Kirby.”
“Walter, son. You can call me Walter.”
“Caroline, you wanna pour the wine?”
After I’ve given out jobs, I meet Ryker in the kitchen, and he’s already starting on the ham. I start making trips, putting things on the buffet table, and when Ryker brings in the ham, we all sit down.
After a prayer, everyone starts piling food on their plates. For a few minutes, all you can hear is the sound of forks scraping plates. Once everyone seems to get their bellies full, the talking starts.
“I wish Grandma was here,” Brock says.
I nod. “Me too. We’ll call her later.”
Caroline takes a bite of ham. “Is she still on that cruise?”
I laugh. “She is. She was worried about being away too long, but her friends wanted to extend their vacation, and I told her she should. She deserves it.”
Ryker looks at me, and I’m not sure what to make of the look. Sympathy, pride, I’m not sure.
He scoots back from the table. “Oh, I forgot something in the car. I’ll be right back.”
He is gone and back in an instant, and he’s carrying a small pie dish. He sets it down beside me and unwraps it.
I gasp. “Is that chocolate chess pie?”
He nods. “It’s Gladys’ chocolate chess pie. I ran into her at the liquor store. She wanted us to have it.”
I put my hand to my chest. “Oh, she’s so sweet. I had asked her if she wanted to join us, but she said she was going to her kids’ house.”
Brock laughs. “She calls them turds.”
“Brock,” I admonish.
He just shrugs. “What? She does.”
Ryker laughs out loud. “He’s right. She told me the same thing.”
I stand up to get serving ware. “Well, this is perfect. Everyone, we have pumpkin pie, cheesecake, cookies, and now chocolate chess pie.”
Ryker and I serve up dessert to everyone, working side by side. I know we have a lot to talk about, but I don’t want to think about that now. I just want to enjoy being together because we don’t know what tomorrow may bring.
Hours later, Caroline has already left, and Ryker is about to leave and take his dad home. He hugs me. “I’m going to go home so you can spend time with Brock.”
I look up at him. I thought for sure he’d want to talk about earlier. “Okay.”
Ryker looks at Brock. “What time are you leaving for your dad’s?”
He shrugs. “After we open presents in the morning. You’re coming, right? I’m supposed to be at Dad’s for the rest of Christmas break.”
Ryker ruffles his hair. “Yep, I’ll be here in the morning.”
Brock rubs his belly. “Sounds good. I’m hungry. Mom, I’m getting another piece of pie. Want one?”
“No, thanks,” I tell him, and he disappears into the kitchen after telling Walter and Ryker bye.
I hug Walter, and he says he’ll wait in the car, leaving Ryker and me standing at the opened door.
“You okay?” he asks me.
I nod, but that’s not good enough. He hugs me. “He’ll be ten minutes away, and I know Brock. He’s still going to call you every day.”
He thinks I’m upset about Brock leaving, and yeah, I’m going to miss him, but more than anything, I want to fix this with Ryker, and the only way to do that is to tell him everything. “We should talk.”
He smiles softly at me. “We will. Let’s get through tomorrow and then we’ll talk about everything.”
Fear like I’ve never felt before consumes me. I can’t lose him. Not again. But Walter’s in the car, and Brock is in the other room. It’s Christmas, and now is not the right time. “Okay. I love you, Ryker.”
I’m looking him straight in the eye because I want him to know I mean it.
He brushes the hair off my face. “I love you too, Izzy.”
I close the door as he leaves and then lean against it. I still can’t believe that I told him I wanted him to leave earlier. Sadness overcomes me, and I wonder if I’ve already lost him.