CHAPTER ELEVEN
Nate stared down the hall where Lily had disappeared with Lance.
He wasn't sure what to do. Part of him wanted to stay.
If he hadn't been there earlier, Lily would have fallen.
He wanted to be there in case she needed help again.
But he knew he really had no right to be there.
He wasn't family. He wasn't even a super close friend, though Will did trust him to work on his Escalade—which said something.
Realistically, his tie to the Collingsworth family had been severed when Lily ended their engagement.
Bracing his hands on his knees, Nate stood up.
"You heading out?" Will asked.
"Yeah. I'm going to go to the garage for a bit. Let me know if you need me to do anything." He touched the phone on his belt. "Just call my cell."
Will stood and walked over to him. "You're welcome to stay and wait with us."
Nate glanced at the others, and each one nodded. "Thanks, but I think it would be easier for Lily if I wasn't here."
Will frowned. "If you're sure..."
"I am. I'll check in later. If I can bring you guys anything—like food that isn't from the hospital cafeteria—let me know."
As Nate left the waiting room, he remembered how it had felt to be part of that group.
For seven years, they'd included him as one of the family.
But then he'd lost that. And then he'd lost the last member of his own family.
Now it was just him. And from the looks of things, that wasn't going to change anytime soon.
Which was fine, he told himself. There were too many things demanding his attention right then. A relationship would just have suffered.
As he stepped out of the hospital, the warmth of the day embraced him. Remembering Lily's words about the heat, Nate hoped it didn't get too hot. It seemed her body was already struggling with the demands the day had placed on her.
Revving his truck's engine before putting it into gear to leave the parking lot, Nate gave a frustrated shake of his head.
Couldn't he keep from thinking about her for even a minute?
Every single thing lately seemed to lead back to Lily.
Although, if he were honest with himself, he had to admit that over the time since she'd left, she really had never been too far from his thoughts.
At least once a day something would bring her to mind.
It was no wonder Crystal had felt he'd never fully committed to their relationship.
Walking into the garage, Nate saw a man in a suit talking with Don. No doubt someone from the insurance company. They'd said they would be stopping by. He'd assumed they'd let him know first, but apparently they hadn't felt the need.
"Mr. Proctor?" The man stuck his hand out as Nate approached. "I'm Steven Baylor."
He confirmed Nate's suspicions when he named the company he worked for. "What can I do for you?"
As the man began to talk, Nate found he was grateful for the distraction and was happy to give him his full attention.
~*~*~
"Get her onto her left side," a nurse barked out. "We need to get her to the OR."
Lily pressed against the wall, panic flooding her as she watched the flurry of activity around Jessa.
The nurses called back and forth as they disconnected and reconnected monitors.
Things had been going okay until the baby's heart rate had dropped.
Now they were scrambling to get her prepped for a move.
Lily assumed it meant they were going to have to do a C-section.
Worry tightened Lance's features. As they pushed the bed out of the room, Lily caught a glimpse of Jessa's face. Her eyes were closed, and her skin was pale. Then the next moment, the bed with Jessa, the nurses, and Lance were gone.
Dear God, please protect them both. Please don't let anything...
When her trembling legs gave way, Lily slid down the wall and buried her face in her hands, struggling to draw in a deep breath past the vise that gripped her chest.
"She's in the best care." A hand rested on her shoulder.
Lily looked up and through moist eyes saw the face of one of the nurses who had been in and out of the room before everything had gone crazy.
"Let me help you," the woman said. She held out her hands to Lily.
"I have MS," Lily told her as she grasped them. "My legs aren't working too well at the moment."
"That's all right. I'll help you." The smile the nurse gave her was comforting. "Is the rest of your family here? In the waiting room?"
"Yes."
"Then let's go tell them what's transpired, okay?"
The nurse continued to reassure her as they slowly walked to the waiting room. Everyone surged to greet them once they spotted Lily.
"Is the baby here?"
Lily sank down into a chair and smiled her thanks at the nurse. "No. The baby's heart rate dropped. They had to take Jessa to the OR."
"She's going to have a C-section?" Laurel asked.
"It's a possibility," the nurse said. "It's a precaution if your sister can't deliver the baby quickly.
They are both in excellent hands." She looked again at Lily.
"I know it was a bit overwhelming to be in there when all of that was going on.
But rest assured, it was just everyone doing their job to make sure of the best possible outcome for your sister and the baby.
Someone will be out as soon as there is news. "
"Thank you," Lily said. "For explaining and for helping me."
"You're welcome." The nurse gave them one last smile before leaving the waiting room.
Once she was gone, Laurel and Cami sat on chairs on either side of Lily. "How was Jessa?"
"Calm, but worried. Lance was, too."
"Why don't we take the time to pray for them right now?" Josh suggested.
As one by one they joined hands to close their family circle, Lily felt tears spring to her eyes. She bent her head as Josh began to pray. Tears dripped onto her legs, but she didn't release the grip she had on Cami or Laurel's hands.
"Father, we are so grateful for Your presence here today as Jessa and Lance face this emergency with their baby.
We know You are there in that room with them and those who are caring for Jessa and the baby.
We ask You to give wisdom to those making decisions and guide the hands of those administering care.
We love Jessa and Lance and their little one.
Please give them peace, and we ask that you allow their baby to be brought safely into this world.
But in everything, we thank You for Your blessings and know that none of this has taken You by surprise. In Jesus' name."
"Amen." Each person there joined Josh in ending his prayer.
Lily took a shuddering breath before releasing her grip on her sisters. She rubbed her hands across her cheeks, and then, before anyone could ask, she said, "I'm not okay, but I will be fine."
"Are you sure?" Cami asked.
Even as Lily nodded, she hoped she was. Unfortunately, with each episode like this, there was always a chance she wouldn't come back fully from it. All she could do was take her medicine, get into see the doctor and rest up.
As she looked around the room, Lily realized that Nate was missing.
She didn't want to acknowledge the disappointment that flooded her, but it was impossible not to.
Trying to put a positive spin on his absence, Lily told herself she should be glad he hadn't been there to see the mess she'd been in when the nurse had brought her to the waiting room.
She leaned back in the chair, trying to ignore the tingling in her legs.
Everything over the past couple of days had really opened her eyes to what it was like to live with MS while having people so intimately involved in her life.
She truly had been in seclusion in London, doing only what she wanted to, when she felt able to do it.
Suddenly her life was intertwined with everyone else's, and things happening to them could put demands on her body whether she was up to dealing with it or not.
It was going to take some time to adapt to this.
Though she had come to accept her diagnosis, there were still moments when she was frustrated with it.
She had learned to adapt her schedule if one day she didn't feel up to what she had planned.
However, for the first time since those early days, Lily found herself more frustrated and agitated by the MS. And angry about it.
She hated her body right then. Hated the disease that was wreaking havoc on her relationships with her family as it already had on her relationship with Nate.
I want to leave.
Even as the thought came, Lily pushed it aside.
Running away again was not the answer. It might have worked three years ago, but it wouldn't now.
No, she needed to pull herself together and figure out how to adjust to this new normal, just as she had back when she'd finally come to terms with her diagnosis.
I can do this. That was what she had to keep telling herself. I can do this.
You are not alone.
The words rang so clearly that Lily actually glanced around to see who had spoken to her, but no one looked as if they'd just said anything.
Then the words she'd written on her note card came to mind once again.
And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you.
He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.
She took a breath and let it out. Slowly her body was calming.
The tingling was still there, but the trembling had eased.
Lily wasn't sure she could run anywhere, but she could probably walk if she had to.
With a little help. Movement in the hallway caught her attention and she looked over to see Lance coming towards them.
As the others stood, she grasped Will's outstretched hand and allowed him to pull her to her feet.
He settled her hand into the crook of his arm and then pulled Amy close with his other arm.