Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
“I wish I had no heart, it aches so…” ~Louisa May Alcott , Little Women
H ad Duncan just said he was in love with her on a street corner? With frantic blinks, Nat tried to will this away. This was all wrong.
So. Very. Wrong.
“I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you since we were seventeen.” He grimaced as if the admission pained him.
Did loving her hurt him? The expression was akin to that of someone accidentally slamming their thumb with a hammer while hanging a photo. He didn’t look any more pleased to be saying it as she felt hearing it.
Leaning against the cool brick wall, eyes closed, she proceeded with trepidation. “I didn’t know.”
It was such a poor response to such a big declaration, but the truth often was. The scrapbook of their eighteen months together held no page dedicated to their first I love yous . No picture existed of them staring with adoring eyes as little red hearts fluttered between them. No memory of her belly twisted in girlish delight when he tugged at his blond hair with a bashful confession of love. No image of her raised to her tiptoes, smile broad, with an I love you in return.
“I never said anything.” His gaze fixed on hers.
Clumsy silence stretched between them. She fiddled with the frayed hem of her denim cutoffs. The blizzard of her thoughts was drowned out by the rapid thump of her heart. Her eyes flicked to Main Street, where people meandered down the street with reusable shopping bags filled with produce from the farmer’s market.
It was a typical mid-August Saturday morning in Perry—except it wasn’t. Duncan said he loved her, and her response was to blink it away like it was a bad dream.
“Duncan—”
“Natalie.” He twisted to face her, his eyes pleading. “Please, don’t say it. Give us a chance. A real chance. This time at least.”
“This time?” Her head tipped up to him.
Duncan stepped close. “You never gave us a chance back then. You always held me at a distance.”
“That’s not true.”
“It was.” A harsh laugh burst from his lips. “But I was so fucking in love with you that I didn’t care. Any bit of you was better than nothing at all.”
She raised her hand to comfort him but crossed her arms over her chest instead. The desire to soothe was shadowed by the anger flashing in his eyes.
“Natalie, I love you. And, I think if you gave us a chance, you’d love me, too,” he said, turning his stare back to her.
The glimpse of possessive impatience flaring in his gaze sent a chill up her spine.
“I…I don’t love you, and I don’t think I ever will. I’m sorry, Duncan. It’s not fair to either of us to drag this out. I am so sorry. I had no idea you felt like this, and if I had, I would have never?—”
“Sure,” he hissed. “I was never good enough for you, was I? Just a farm kid who thought he was lucky enough to date the princess.”
She flinched. “I’m not a princess. It’s not like that. You were…are good enough. I just?—”
“Damn right, I’m good enough,” he sneered through clenched teeth.
“Stop fucking interrupting me,” she snapped, pushing away from the wall to walk away. “I’m not doing this with you. I’m sorry I hurt you, but?—”
“But what?” He grabbed her upper arm, fingers biting into her bare skin, and dragged her back to him.
“You’re hurting me!” She yanked, but his hand tightened in a bruising grip.
“Is the little Owens princess done with me? Well, I’m not done with you. I won’t be dismissed. I’m not that lovesick boy I was in high school. I’m a man. Maybe that’s the problem. You’re still a little girl,” he snarled. “No wonder people don’t take you seriously.”
Like a gut punch, his words slammed into her, almost knocking the wind out of her.
She jerked her arm away. “Fuck you, Duncan.”
His serpentine smirk went slack as a force hurled him into the brick wall. Jolted backward, she gasped. Her chest puffed in and out with rapid gulps. Her eyes were wide.
“You don’t fucking talk to her like that,” Noah growled, gripping the fabric of Duncan’s collared shirt as he held him firm against the wall.
Duncan twisted his head to Nat. “Looks like your knight in faded blue jeans is here, princess.”
Jerking Duncan forward, Noah then slammed him back against the wall. “You don’t look at her. You don’t speak to her. You don’t fucking think about her.”
A shuddering wince darkened Duncan’s features. “Let me go,” he ordered, squirming to extricate himself.
The normally calm ocean of Noah’s eyes raged like a hurricane. Muscles in his corded arms flexed. The grip was so tight that the knuckles of his tanned hands paled. The charming, dimpled smile morphed into a clenched, bared-teeth snarl. It was like a wolf ready to rip out the throat of his prey.
It had always been hard for her to picture the carefree Noah of her childhood as a Marine. To envision him in the heat of battle, aiming a gun, intent on taking a life. Even when defending his fellow Marines. The furious, glazed look in his eyes confirmed that Noah could, if pushed, do harm.
“Noah.” She placed a calming hand on his arm. “I’m okay. Let him go.”
The rigidity of his muscles relaxed beneath her touch. The breakneck speed of his breath slowed. His grip loosened. Noah released Duncan and stepped back but positioned himself in front of Nat like a loyal soldier.
“I could press charges,” Duncan said, smoothing down his rumpled shirt.
“So could I.” She narrowed her eyes, shaded in steely fierceness.
“He shoved me into a wall,” he scoffed, gesturing to Noah.
“You grabbed me.” She pointed to her bicep, red splotches left behind from his hand. “I wonder how your DA boss would like to hear that one of his Assistant DAs was charged with assault, especially on a princess.” Venom dripped from her words.
“I didn’t…” He blanched, his eyes dropping to her arm. The realization of what he’d done splashed over his features. “I didn’t mean to… I’m sorry. Natalie…”
Noah growled, silencing him.
Nat placed a hand on Noah’s arm. The snarl in his throat quieted under her touch, but his stare remained focused on Duncan.
“I’m sorry I wasted my time thinking you were something you’re not… a nice guy. Lose my number and never speak to me again. If you don’t, Noah will be the least of your worries.”
Duncan opened and then closed his mouth. Shaking his head, he turned and walked by them. Noah’s gaze followed each step until he disappeared down the street.
He turned, his forehead creased with worry. “Are you okay?”
“Yes.”
His gaze zeroed in on her bicep, where Duncan’s handprint was already fading. “Are you sure?”
Was she? Had this all just happened? One minute, she was enjoying pastries in a bakery and the next moment, Duncan grabbed her. Then Noah charged in just like that knight that Duncan sneered he was. The reverberations of what just happened quelled the anger boiling in her.
She swallowed that anger down. “I’m fine. Are you?”
He sloshed a long breath, and the tension in his shoulders seemed to dissolve. “Yes.”
“Okay. I’m leaving. Bye.” She pivoted and strode down the street toward the alley that led to the small parking lot behind the Wine Down, where she’d parked her Jeep.
With each step, the swallowed anger built like a volcano ready to explode. What the actual fuck!? She balled her fists, stomping into the parking lot.
“Nat!” he called, running after her. “Where are you going?”
“Home.” Her tone was curt.
“Wait.” He caught up, stepping between her and the Jeep. With a gentleness so starkly different from what she’d just witnessed, he placed his hands on her shoulders. “You’re not okay. Let’s talk, please.”
“I didn’t need you to rescue me!”
“He touched you. He?—”
She threw up her arms, pushing away his hands. “You don’t think I’ve dealt with grabby assholes before? You weren’t there when some frat guy grabbed my ass in college. I handled that all by myself.” She motioned to herself. “I was the one who slapped him and dumped a beer over his head. You weren’t there when I dealt with jerks in my residency program who thought they could intimidate me but soon found themselves eating my badass dust as I surpassed them in our program. I can take care of myself.”
Eyes raised to the sky; he sucked in a steadying breath before looking back at her. “I know, but he touched you.”
“Damn it, Noah!” she exclaimed, kicking a crushed soda can on the ground. “I’m tired of being the little sister everyone feels they need to protect.”
“I don’t see you as my little sister.”
“Bullshit,” she huffed and pulled her keys out of her pocket.
“I don’t.”
“Sure.” Her tone mocked.
“I don’t see you like that.”
“Prove it,” she said, her steel-gray gaze slammed into his.
“Okay.” It was uttered like a dare. Charged determination shaded his eyes.
Graceful as a jungle cat, powerful and primal, he moved closer. She stepped back. He followed. With each tandem step, electricity buzzed between them.
Disbelief flooded her veins, quickening her pulse. Is this happening?
Her back hit the building’s cement wall. “What are you doing?” she asked, a slight breathy tremble in her voice.
“Proving it.” His hand raised to her hairline, tracing down to her cheek. “Is this okay?”
“Yes.” It was barely audible over the drumbeat of her heart.
“Good.” He dipped his head, meeting her lips.
Each muscle of her body rang out as if it was an instrument being played. Good goddess, is this really happening? Don’t pinch me.
On raised tiptoes, her hands lifted to his shoulders, finding purchase. A tiny whimper escaped with the strong angles of his chest pressed against her, pinning her between his body and the wall.
This is where I live now! Have her mail forwarded. A crowbar would be needed to pry her from this Noah and wall sandwich.
“Mmhmm,” he moaned. He nibbled open her mouth with soft bites.
The slick heat of his tongue explored her mouth until it found its desired playmate. In a languid game of tongue twister, they luxuriated in each other’s tastes. The sweetness of the pastries still lingered, coating their kisses in vanilla and cinnamon.
His muscular arms slid between her and the wall, cushioning her and enfolding her deeper into him. Their small gasps and relieved moans masked the sounds of people talking, children squealing, dogs barking, and doors screeching open.
Wait. Door opening?
Breathless, he pulled away as if he heard her thoughts. Both their gazes dropped to the open backdoor of the Wine Down, where Todd stood, right eyebrow cocked, a shit-eating grin on his face.
“Looks like you finally stopped kissing the frogs and landed yourself a prince,” Todd snarked.
“Oh my goddess.” Mortified horror rippled through her.
“Don’t worry, this stays with me.” Hands raised, Todd paused with an amused expression. “Nicely done, Prince Charming. Oh, Nat… Summer had to take Liam home. She knew Noah was checking on you and the dillweed attorney-at-law, but text her. She was worried.”
Nat nodded.
Smirking, Todd went back into the wine bar to prep to open for the day.
Their eyes fell back to one another. A quiet beat allowed what just happened to settle.
She just kissed Noah Wilson. Correction, Noah Wilson just kissed her. Scratch that, they’d just made out behind his downtown wine bar and got caught. By Todd.
He stepped back, putting distance between them. “I’m sorry.”
The empty space between them was now filled with his regret. The same remorse that swam in his eyes that night was back.
Her heart dropped to the soles of her pink Converse sneakers. “Don’t give me the best kiss of my life and say you’re sorry.” She pushed off the wall and strode to her Jeep.
“Nat,” he beseeched, touching her arm and halting her steps.
She turned to face him.
His gaze met hers and his mouth opened, but no words came. All that spoke between them was the regret twisting his features.
“I can’t have you look at me like that,” she said, her voice sad but resolute.
“How am I looking at you?”
“Like you regret kissing me. Just like how you looked at me that night you almost kissed me. I won’t be your regret.”
She opened her door, got in, and drove away, leaving Noah, and her crush, in her taillights.