Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
“I’ve got the key to my castle in the air, but whether I can unlock the door remains to be seen.” ~Louisa May Alcott, Little Women
F or this date, the old oak wardrobe shimmered with possibility. Nat stood, hands on hips, debating which lovely outfit to select. Tonight, she didn’t want a little black dress. She didn’t need to call Elle in a panic for fashion advice, nor did she wish to be anyone but herself.
You look beautiful . You’re perfect. Noah’s words waltzed inside her.
It wasn’t his approval. It was simply him seeing her…all of her. His brilliant blue eyes were like mirrors, reflecting her back to herself, reminding her who she was. Something the self-doubt that had crept in over the last few months had attempted to snatch away.
A broad smile beamed as she reached for a blue gingham tulle skirt, white silk camisole, and white cropped cardigan. Dolled up, she stood before the gold-framed mirror, admiring her reflection. The youthful and flirty outfit melded perfectly with the loose waves she styled her hair into. Grabbing a pair of white ballet flats, she headed downstairs.
A confident knock tapped at the door. She bounded down the remaining steps and skipped to the entryway.
“Hey, stranger,” she purred, opening the door.
Like a firework explosion, a big smile blasted across his face, bathing every feature in bright happiness. His dimple popped. Those eyes sparkled with tiny crinkles that kissed their edges.
“Hey, gorgeous.” He winked.
Not cute, but gorgeous. Smelling salts were needed, stat! The butterflies swooped in her belly.
“Look who’s talking.” Her eyes dragged down him in appraisal.
Tanned skin peeked out at the vee of his untucked, mint-green button-up shirt. His corded forearms on full display in his short-sleeves, reminding her of how those strong arms held her. Dark jeans wrapped themselves around his muscular legs in the exact same way she wanted to.
He closed the distance between them and kissed her. “I brought you something.” He held up a fluorescent pink gift bag.
“You brought me a gift?” Taking the bag, she stepped back and ushered him inside.
“I know it’s customary to bring flowers for a first date, but I thought this was more you.”
She tilted her head to the right and set the bag on the desk. “Customary? Noah Wilson, are you courting me?”
He grinned. “Perhaps.”
Opening the bag, she pulled out something wrapped in glittery silver tissue paper. “Oh my…” Her breath was stolen by a pair of ruby-red ballet flats. The same pair she’d eyed at one of the artisan tables at the farmer’s market. How did he know?
Noah stepped close again. The scent of pine wafted off him, enveloping her in his aroma. “After we kissed behind the Wine Down and you left, I walked around downtown to clear my head. I wandered past the farmer’s market and saw these on one of the tables. They made me think of you.”
Her brow creased. “Why?”
“They sparkle.” Raising his hand, he caressed her cheek. “Just like you.”
“Phew, I thought you were going to say because they are obnoxious and childish.”
His brow wrinkled. “Why would you say that?”
She blew out a long breath. “It’s something Duncan said about me needing to act the part to be taken seriously. He talked about dressing the part, which made me rethink my entire wardrobe. Well, my entire self.” She ran her fingers along the sparkled sequins lining the shoes. “In Boston, I was Dr. Owens. Here I’m Dr. Owens’ daughter.”
“Why do you have to be one or the other?”
Her lips pursed. “Because people don’t take me seriously when they only see me as Dr. Owens’ daughter.”
“That’s bullshit.” He raised his right hand as she opened her mouth. “Not what you said nor how you feel, but that people are so narrowminded that they don’t see that you can be both. You can be both a badass doctor and an amazing daughter. You can wear both a lab coat and sparkly shoes. That you can both be serious and goofy.”
Nat nodded. An all-consuming warmth spread through her. Unlike Duncan, Noah didn’t tell her to be something she wasn’t, to play a part. He didn’t tell her to do anything, just talked about the failing of others to see her. In his eyes she wasn’t a square peg that needed to be cut and sanded to fit into a round hole. To him, it wasn’t about her changing to fit, but them making space for her as she was.
“I don’t see why you have to deny who you are to be what you are,” he said, skating the pads of his fingers across her hands clenched around the ballet flats.
Her eyes shifted to the shoes. “I like who I am.”
“I like who you are too…very much.” He rested his hands on her waist.
In Noah’s presence, she was perfect and could face any storm, but she knew once away from this little bubble they’d created those self-doubts would re-emerge. They had been so loud since coming home. She just needed to learn how to drown them out on her own.
“How do I get people to take me seriously, though?” It was one thing to embrace who she was but another thing to get others to do the same.
“By being who you are…who you really are. Not what other people expect you to be. Not some pretend role that fucking Duncan thinks you should play.” His nostrils flared.
“Fuck them.” She smiled, repeating his words from the previous week.
It wasn’t just his belief in her that bolstered her but the reminder of who she was…of who she’d been before coming home. In Boston, Nat had tapped into her feisty and sometimes goofy core self. Seedlings of her take-no-prisoners spunkiness had blossomed in undergrad and medical school. Evan used to tease her it was her bratty little sister power. Then, he’d wrap his arms around her shoulders, telling her it was just that she was a badass and that she should never forget it.
“Damn right… Fuck them.” Noah dipped his head, sealing his mouth to hers.
After a thorough kissing session, Nat slipped on the ruby-red shoes. After all, gifts this cute were meant to be worn. Linking their fingers, they left for their date.
For the next forty minutes, she settled fully into just being with Noah. Between effortless conversation and his periodic squeezes of her knee from across the console, the daydream quality of being with him dissolved to a rightness. As they walked into Zambito’s, an Italian restaurant nestled against the lakeshore, her hand rested so nicely in his like it was always meant to be there.
The hostess led them to a large wraparound deck. Olive trees in red clay pots lined the white lattice fence bordering the outdoor dining area. Dark walnut tables, bedecked with a single white lily, offered a perfect view of Lake Canandaigua’s calm waters. String lights crisscrossed the above lattice awning, and Nat knew they’d be magical once they turned on at dusk. A soft orangey-purple hue crawled across the sky, whispering the coming of sunset.
“This place is adorable,” she gushed, taking her seat as Noah held her chair out for her.
“I take zero credit,” he chuckled, pushing in her chair.
“I’ll take all the credit,” the hostess boasted, handing Nat a menu. “Speaking of adorable, those shoes are on point.” She gestured to Nat’s feet.
“They were a gift.” Nat kicked her right leg out, wiggling her foot in the sassy shoe. It wasn’t that the shoes had been a gift from Noah, but what they represented. The petite ruby red shoe covered in sparkles was unapologetically Nat. At least who she wanted to be…to be her again. To let go of the self-doubt that had slithered in since coming home.
“Now, that I can take credit for.” A playful smugness curved his lips.
“A man who gives cute shoes like that as a gift is a keeper!” The hostess winked, snapping her fingers.
“He also cooks.” Nat grinned, winking back at the hostess.
“Now, you’re just being boastful,” the hostess teased. “Your server will be by shortly.”
Nat leaned over the table, whispering, “Imagine if I told her about the multiple orgasms you give.”
A ruddy flush crawled up his neck. “Speaking of telling people things…” His mouth closed as if considering his next words. “I spoke to Todd.”
Todd. She leaned back. In the haze of the little Noah/Nat bubble she’d lived in over the last twenty-four hours, she’d forgotten that Todd had caught them kissing. Well, more like he’d caught them making out like a pair of horny teenagers.
“The guy is a vault. For as much shit as he gives me, he’s loyal. He’ll say nothing. Although, he did threaten to kick my ass if I fuck this up,” Noah explained.
She shouldn’t smile when someone she cared about was threatened, but Nat did. It was weirdly heartwarming how Todd had both their backs. Of course he’d keep their secret. Above all he was a good friend to Noah. He’d also been good to Nat. That cocksure confidence that radiated off Todd reminded her of Evan and endeared the sometimes surly brewmaster to her.
“Since Todd knows,” he continued. “I wanted to let you know if you wanted to tell Summer, I am okay with that. I know we want to wait to tell people, but I want you to have someone to talk to about us. I know you like to craft things out, but I also know Summer has become one of your closest friends. I like the idea of you having someone to talk to if you want it.”
Noah’s thoughtfulness was like sinking into a hot bubble bath. The calming steam enfolded around her. The catalog of the last week and the many years of Noah in her life flipped to how those watchful eyes not just saw but anticipated.
“You really do see me, don’t you?”
“You can’t help but see what sparkles.”
Heart thumping, she picked up the silverware setting, unwrapped the red cloth napkin, and tossed it at him. “That was cheesy.”
Catching the napkin, he smirked. “You loved it.”
She did. She fucking did.