Chapter Four
Reed
Ishould have been watching my brother race.
But I was too busy staring at Cole. His entire face was lit up like the Fourth of July, his eyes wide with excitement as he stared at the cars as they tore around the track.
The smile on his face was ten miles long, and his fingers stayed tangled with mine.
The only time Cole had let go of my hand was when he ate his burger.
But then he had reached for me again, and my heart had fluttered happily in my chest.
The breeze blew Cole’s dark curls away from his face, carrying the heavy scent of gasoline and exhaust. He hollered with excitement when Silas passed the car in front to take the lead and tugged on my hand as he shot to his feet.
I couldn’t bring myself to stop staring at him even when the race was over and it was time to head down to the pits to congratulate my brother on his win.
Cole grinned at me when our eyes met, and my heart rate shot up to a thousand.
This was so bad. I shouldn’t be falling for him or getting any ideas that we’re anything more than friends.
I tried to pry my fingers from his, but he gripped my hand together.
I still had Cole’s hat on my head, and that didn’t go unnoticed by my brother the second he saw me.
I wasn’t someone who wore hats. I didn’t think they looked good on me.
But I liked the fact that it belonged to Cole.
That it was something of his that I could wear.
“Nice hat.” Silas laughed as he pulled me into a tight hug. He squeezed me tightly against him.
I blushed, and instead of commenting, I went a different route. “Congrats, little brother.” Even though he was taller than I was now, Silas would always be my little brother.
Silas snorted. “Fine, we’ll play it your way.” He leaned closer. “I want details later, though.” He clapped me on the back just as Mia launched herself at him. My sister held her own when it came to racing, but this was something the two of them enjoyed doing together.
“I hope you enjoyed yourself,” Dad said.
The way he was watching Cole had me wondering what else he wanted to say to him.
Mom had been nice enough during the race, trying to figure him out.
My parents had witnessed my heartbreak, and I knew that they were just worried it would happen again.
I loved them for that, but I was an adult now and could take care of myself. Maybe.
“I had a blast, sir. Watching Silas race his way to the front like that? Damn, it was amazing. I can’t wait to watch another one,” Cole admitted. “I mean, if I’m invited. I don’t want to assume you’ll have me again.”
Warmth spread throughout my belly. “Silas is racing again on Wednesday night. We can go again, if you want.”
“That sounds great.” Cole clapped, then once again reached for one of my hands and threaded our fingers together. It felt perfect.
Dad nodded. “Well, we’re going out for ice cream like we always do once we’ve cleaned up and packed up the car. Reed, you and your boyfriend are welcome to join us unless you have other plans.”
My what? My breath caught in my throat at his words, and I was terrified to make eye contact with Cole. I didn’t want him to think I was going around telling people we were together. “Dad, he’s not—”
“We’d love to.” Cole interrupted me before I could get the words out. He flashed me a smile that made my knees weak, his baby blues shining with happiness.
Mom looked like she might want to say something, too, but she just squeezed my shoulder. “Be careful, sweetheart.” Her words were for only me to hear, but it made me stop for a second.
Maybe all of this was too much. Maybe Cole wasn’t the man I thought he was.
But then again, last time wasn’t his fault.
He hadn’t intended to hurt me. He had no idea I had a crush on him or that I had wanted more from him.
We had been two kids writing letters to one another.
We had no idea what the future had in store for us. I never should have gotten so attached.
Cole helped Dad and Silas pack up everything into the trailer, moved around all the heavy equipment, tires, and parts into the back.
It was hard not to stare at the way his muscles flexed beneath his shirt.
How his biceps pushed the limits of the fabric as he made casual conversation with my family.
It was almost like he was made for me. He fit right in.
“You’ve got a little bit of something right here,” Mia teased. I pushed her hand away when she pretended to wipe my mouth. “I mean, Cole is pretty hot.”
I had never wanted to protect someone so badly in my life. “Back off. He’s mine. I saw him first,” I hissed through clenched teeth. Whoops.
“Okay.” Mia wiggled her brows. “You’ve staked your claim. I mean, you’re wearing his hat, and the two of you haven’t stopped holding hands for most of the night, so I sort of already figured that out.”
I stared at my sister. “That’s not true.” But it was. And neither of us seemed to care.
“And he’s been busy staring at you,” Mia added.
My brows dipped. “He watched the race.”
“But that was the only time his eyes weren’t glued to you. Face it, Reed, that man is just as into you as you’re into him.” Mia folded her arms over chest and popped a brow.
I glanced over at Cole just as he looked away. Was he interested in more than being friends? “That doesn’t mean anything.” But I wasn’t sure if I was trying to convince Mia or myself.
“YOUR FAMILY IS PRETTY great.” Cole tucked his spoon into his hot fudge sundae, then scooped a huge portion into his mouth. He had already done a number on the three scoops he had gotten while I was still working on my small one.
I hummed in agreement. “They are.”
We had stopped to get ice cream, like we always did after a race, and now, the five of us, including Cole, were sitting around enjoying the rest of the night.
This was a popular establishment, so it wasn’t a surprise that it was bursting with customers.
I recognized a few of the other drivers my brother raced against, as well as their families.
It seemed like we weren’t the only ones with this idea.
But it was a warm night, and the sweet treat was cooling.
“I like your dad,” Cole commented.
My brows shot up as I stared at him. “You do?”
That was not usually what people said about my father.
I loved him and would defend him for eternity, but sometimes people found it hard to get to know the man I knew.
He loved his family and his job, and made sure we were all happy.
Dad was quiet at times, and he could get moody and stuck in his head, but he never raised his voice or got angry with us.
Dad had his own way of decompressing, and that included taking trips out on the boat with his friends or alone.
He always came home to us, and Mom never seemed worried about it.
I knew he battled demons that we didn’t know about, and I respected him for that.
“He seems really cool. He was surprised I had never been to any kind of race before.” Cole smiled.
“You didn’t grow up with this like we all did. How many hockey games do you think I’ve been to?” I reminded him.
Cole placed his empty container next to him on the bench. “If you say zero, I might actually die.” When I didn’t answer, his eyes went wide. “Reed, we’re going to fix that. Immediately. How is that possible?”
“Same reason you’ve never been to a race until now.”
“I’ll talk to Jax. I’m sure we can get you to a game as soon as the Panthers’ new season starts.”
I ducked my head. “I’d like that.” I concentrated on my ice cream, enjoying the sweet chocolate syrup and vanilla. “You won’t be here, though.”
“Oh,” Cole murmured.
I patted his hand. “It’s okay. I can go and think of you when I do.”
It wouldn’t be the same, though. I’d rather have Cole with me to tell me all about the game, since I knew nothing about it. I supposed I could sit with Tate. He would be able to tell me what was happening. He knew that he went to all the home games with his brother.
“Or we could go to a game together in New York. I can come visit you when the Panthers are in town. That would be fun.” His ears burned pink as he stared at his ice cream.
We were making plans. That had to mean something. “I’d like that,” I assured him.
“Don’t sound so excited.” Cole chuckled. He reached over to take my hand and squeezed lightly. “Not everyone likes hockey. Don’t feel like you have to do something you don’t want to do.”
Wait, what? “No, I want to.”
How did I tell him that I was terrified of ending up hurt? I wasn’t sure I could survive it again. Last time, I had endlessly sobbed into my pillow, nursing a broken heart and trying to move on. I had dated, but it never lasted long, and I never felt for them what I felt for Cole.
“There’s a but in there,” he teased, his blue eyes sparkling.
I chewed nervously on my bottom lip. “That’s future us. What if things change before then?”
“We’re friends, right?” Cole asked.
My heart sank at his question. My feelings went deeper than that.
“That means we have to hang out after we the summer. Keep in touch and stay up to date with what the other is up to. It’s what friends do. No more disappearing on me.”
My heart sank. Is that how he saw us? Just friends? I tried not to pull my hand away from him as my stomach twisted.
“Sure, we’re friends.”
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Cole twisted his larger frame toward mine. “Do you not want me to come visit you in New York? You could come to Boston. Or maybe at Christmas, when we come home, we can get together then. I’m sure you’ll be busy once we’re back at school, which is understandable.”
I tried to swallow around the lump in my throat. “I’d never be too busy for you.”
And once again, my heart trembled painfully as it cracked into pieces. Maybe this was all a terrible idea. Maybe we were going to just crash and burn because we weren’t meant to be. I should probably pump the brakes on whatever was happening between us, but it was already too late.
“We’re going to take off.” Mom, Dad, Silas, and Mia walked over to where we were sitting.
Cole climbed to his feet. “Thank you for letting me hang out with you tonight. And for the ice cream. I had a lot of fun.”
“You’re welcome to come with us any time.” Dad shook Cole’s outstretched hand. “Reed, you good?”
I wasn’t, but I couldn’t tell my parents that Cole had broken my heart a second time without meaning to.
“I’ll see you back at home,” I told my parents. And I wondered how I was going to survive the drive home without bursting into tears.