13. Bex
Chapter 13
Bex
I’d forgotten how much I loved dancing.
Free time became non-existent when I began law school. There was internal pressure to study hard, to make the most of the investment I’d made in myself by taking out massive loans to pay for those additional years of specialized education. Then, when I finally graduated and passed the Bar Exam, it was full steam ahead into building my career.
This was the first time in years that I’d taken days off from work, let alone gone out for a night for pure enjoyment.
I couldn’t deny that this place was in my blood, a part of my soul. Coming back here had sparked an awakening. The city might’ve suppressed the country girl inside my heart, but she was flying free now, especially while being pushed around the dance floor first by Tripp, then Colt, and finally Mac.
Giving my best friend’s fiancé a peck on the cheek, I thanked him for making sure I didn’t spend the rest of my night being a wallflower after my blowup with Aaron. He tossed me a wink and told me it was his pleasure before sweeping Aspen into his arms, the two of them so lost in each other that it was like no one else in the crowded bar existed.
My lungs constricted, remembering a time when I’d been fortunate enough to experience a love like that.
Almost as if the memories conjured him, Tucker appeared before me. The phantom feeling of having his arms wrapped around me lingered, and with him so close, I craved the real thing.
God, he was handsome. If I looked hard enough, I could still see traces of the adorable, albeit slightly awkward, teenage boy I’d fallen in love with, but the adult version of Tucker Grant was something beautiful to behold.
He might not have a job that required manual labor like most of this town, but the lean muscles showcased by his form-fitting clothing suggested he took care of his body. It certainly hadn’t been soft beneath me last night while I slept, and still, it was the best night’s sleep I’d had in a long, long time.
“Bex?” He cocked his head, brows drawn down.
“Huh?”
Shit. Had he been talking to me while I was busy ogling him, wondering if the naked version was even more impressive than the fully clothed one?
A corner of his lips turned up, setting my cheeks on fire as I wondered if he could see the thoughts churning in my mind to know they were about him. “I asked if you wanted to dance?”
“Oh.” I shifted on my feet.
My entire body screamed yes , but my brain warned that letting Tucker touch me was dangerous. There was a very real possibility that I wouldn’t want him to stop. Not when I knew how incredible it felt.
He gripped the back of his neck, and my eyes tracked how his bicep bunched beneath the flannel sleeve containing it. “I mean, it’s okay if you don’t want to.”
I bit down on my lower lip hard to keep from blurting out that I wanted to more than anything in this world. The pull between us was magnetic, and with every second spent in Rust Canyon, it became harder to fight.
But I was so fucking tired of fighting. Exhausted, really.
“I could go for one more spin.” There was a finality in that statement, and my heart twisted, knowing this was the last time he would ever hold me.
Tucker understood my meaning and dipped his chin sadly as he offered his hand for me to take.
The previous song was coming to an end as he pulled me close. With a hand on his shoulder, I steadied myself, preparing for the tempo to kick up again and for us to move with the crowd. But instead, the guitar strings on stage strummed slowly, and my breathing hitched.
They were playing our song—the one we’d once made plans to dance to at our wedding.
My vision grew blurry at the painful reminder of what could have been if circumstances had been different.
I half expected Tucker to let me go, but to my utter surprise, he only pulled me closer. Instinct, combined with muscle memory, had me laying my head on his chest as we swayed gently to the song. The lyrics had been so meaningful when we were kids. They spoke about dreams of a future that felt like forever away—promises of someday putting a ring on your hand, having a wedding where you drove away with cans tied to the tailgate, having kids running wild and free, building a dream house where you put handprints in the cement, and growing old together.
That had been our dream. One that never came to be.
I clutched Tucker tighter, wishing with all my might that I never had to let him go .
With a two-ton elephant sitting on my chest, I realized there were a whole slew of “one mores” I’d never gotten with this man—one more kiss, one more I love you , one more drive in his truck to a secluded spot. And I hadn’t even been able to cherish the “last ones” of those because the promise of forever with Tucker meant an unlimited supply of them until I took my final breath.
Swallowing, I lifted my head, pulling back enough that I could view Tucker’s face. The regrets written there matched those churning in my gut, both of us wishing things had been different.
The urge grew overwhelming to steal one of those lasts back, to savor it before stuffing it into the back recesses of my mind—only to be brought out on the darkest of days to serve as a reminder that I’d once been loved the way I truly deserved.
My hands shifted from Tucker’s shoulders, slowly gliding up the sides of his neck. He shivered when my touch met his bare skin, but he didn’t pull away.
“Bex,” he breathed, my name said like a prayer.
“I just—I need—”
His eyes searched mine as our bodies continued to sway in time with the melody. “What is it that you need, baby? Tell me, and I’ll give it to you.”
When I licked my lips, his gaze dipped, tracking the move. He might’ve been the one to ask a question, but I was the one desperately in need of answers.
Could one spark reignite an old flame?
I was afraid to utter another word as my hands continued their upward trek until they settled on his face. Eyelids drooping, Tucker gripped my wrist, turning his face into my palm, brushing the lightest kiss against the skin, causing me to tremble in anticipation .
My heels had left the ground, my weight shifting as I rose on my toes. But then the body pressed to mine stiffened and pulled away. But he still had my wrist—the good one—locked in his grasp, his fingers digging into the skin almost painfully.
Confused, I opened my mouth but zipped it immediately when he turned my hand over, the diamond on my fourth finger catching the overhead lights.
I felt the sharp slap of my palm against my thigh before I had time to process that he’d relinquished his hold.
“Go home, Bex.”
His rejection was like a bucket of ice water dumped over my head.
Fuck. Nostalgia had wrapped around me like a warm blanket, and I wasn’t thinking straight when I made a move to kiss him. Meanwhile, Tucker had drawn a line in the sand, making it clear he wouldn’t cross it with another man’s fiancée.
That ring had never felt heavier, weighing me down and handcuffing me to a life I’d once wanted but now turned my stomach.
Coming home was the wake-up call I needed to realize I couldn’t do this anymore.
“You didn’t come to bed last night.”
Keeping my eyes locked straight ahead, I pulled the blanket tighter around my shoulders .
Aaron dropped onto the chair beside me with a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry for how I acted. You were right. I shouldn’t have put you into the middle of what went down between me and Blaze.”
I remained silent, gathering all my strength for the tough conversation we needed to have.
“Come on, Rebecca. The least you can do is look at me when I’m trying to apologize.”
Filling my lungs, I turned my head to the side. If this wasn’t such a serious situation, I might’ve laughed at seeing him fully put together at six in the morning. How had I ever thought I could marry someone who couldn’t stand to have a single hair out of place? Already, the pressure to be perfect, to meet his high expectations had forced me to become Rebecca .
Let’s be honest, Rebecca kinda sucked. Bex was far superior; she just wasn’t the right woman for Aaron. And I was okay with that.
“I can’t do this anymore.” Though my voice was quiet, it held conviction.
“I know I fucked up, and you’re pissed. But it was a one-off. In the past three years, how many times have I let work leak into our relationship? This was the first time, and it’ll be the last. I swear.”
He was either oblivious to what I was trying to say or refusing to accept it. My guess was the former, his ego being too large to comprehend that anyone would ever want to break up with him .
Sliding the ring off my left hand, I offered the piece of jewelry to him, making my intentions clear.
Aaron barely managed to hold back an eye roll. “No need to be dramatic. It was one fight. Put the ring back on, Rebecca. You’ve made your point.”
“Aaron, don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”
He clicked his tongue. “Okay, I see what you’re doing. What’s it going to take to smooth this over, hmm? You wanna go on a shopping spree and test the limit of my credit card? How about we finally take that vacation I’ve been begging you to go on? Spend a few days in a tropical paradise and forget the rest of the world exists?”
It was time to drive the point home. “I’m not in love with you.”
The man scoffed. “Is that supposed to bother me?”
I gawked at him. “It should.”
Giving me a look of pure condescension, he said, “Do you know how many matches between high-powered individuals are based on love? Hardly any. It’s not the deal breaker you might think it is.”
“It is for me.” I pushed to my feet, grabbed his hand, and dropped the engagement ring into the center of his palm before forcing his fingers to close around it.
A surprised rush of air flew past Aaron’s lips as he looked up at me. “You’re serious about this?”
“I probably should have never let it get to this point, and for that, I’m sorry.”
Aaron’s brown eyes hardened, turning almost black, and instinctively, I stepped back. Shaking his head as he stood, he let out a dark chuckle. “Don’t you understand how fortunate you are that I chose you? There are easily a dozen other girls who would kill to take your place.”
I shrugged. “Then marry one of them.”
“Maybe I will,” he shot back. “I’m sure any one of them will do more than just lie there in bed, checked out and wishing they were anywhere else when we fuck.”
Not interested in slinging insults, I moved on to more pressing matters. “If you get on the road in the next hour, you can make it to Oklahoma City in time to catch the first flight out.”
He brushed past me on his way to the door, but halfway across the threshold, he paused, turning back. “Oh, and Rebecca? ”
Lord help me, if allowing him to have the last word was what it took for him to leave, then so be it.
“What, Aaron?”
“I’ve been fucking my secretary for the past six months. Just thought you should know.”
“Sounds about right.” I nodded. “Have a safe trip home.”
A flush crept up his neck and onto his face, his cool facade slipping when I remained unbothered by his admission of infidelity. Given my past, you’d expect it to invoke some emotion, but I was completely indifferent when it came to Aaron. If I was honest with myself, I’d felt that way toward him for a long time, maybe even since the beginning.
The door slamming brought me back to my senses, and it sank in that I was finally free.
Instantly, I made the decision that there would be no more settling, no more compromising. I only got one life, so I owed it to myself not to waste any more time on things that didn’t bring me happiness.