26. Bex
Chapter 26
Bex
Monday morning had Tucker returning to work, leaving me alone in his house.
It was the first day since my arrival that there wasn’t an event scheduled to keep me busy, and with my life revolving around work for so long, I didn’t know what to do with myself in a rare moment of downtime.
I took a bath, read a book, and tidied up the house—which was immaculate for having a bachelor owner—before I finally went stir-crazy.
Aspen had already left for her honeymoon with Mac, so there was only one person in town I felt comfortable reaching out to.
Still in town for a few days. You free to meet up for coffee?
She was probably busy. I know I would be with three kids, one of whom was still nursing.
The phone buzzed in my hand, and the hope of getting out for some fresh air lit up inside my chest.
Harper: You’re in luck. I’m on Main Street killing time until Barrett’s done with preschool at noon.
Meet you at Country Caffeine in fifteen?
Harper: Sounds good. Hope you don’t mind Grady tagging along. He’s stuck to me like glue these days.
Warn him that payment for crashing our coffee date is at minimum thirty minutes of cuddles.
Harper: His response was blowing a raspberry, and as his interpreter, I’d say you have a deal. *Winking face emoji*
Perfect. See you soon.
Grabbing the keys to my rental, I practically ran from the house. The drive into town was short, and before long, I was parking alongside the curb in front of the coffee shop.
When I pushed inside, the bell above the door chimed, and I immediately spotted Harper in the back, standing near a stroller as she bounced her crying baby. From across the room, I could see the exhaustion in her eyes.
Moving closer, I asked, “Need a break?”
Harper sighed, shoving Grady into my arms. “Please.”
The baby boy’s eyes were still full of tears as he peeked up at me curiously. “What’s wrong, bud?”
“Wish I knew,” his mother replied. “At first, I thought his routine being disrupted with all the wedding stuff was to blame, but now that that’s all over and he hasn’t settled, I’m not sure why he’s so fussy. Maybe I should make an appointment to have Tucker check him over.”
I rocked Grady gently. “How old is he again?”
“Fourteen weeks.”
“You know, I read somewhere once that babies get cranky and clingy out of the blue because they’re going through a developmental leap, and it takes a lot out of them. That might explain why he’s suddenly so hard to comfort.”
“Oh yeah?” Harper’s eyebrows shot high on her forehead. “Never heard of that before.”
“There are apps you can download on your phone to track when your baby is about to go through one. That way, when he gets like this, you don’t have to wonder if something’s wrong.”
She cocked her head. “You seem to know an awful lot about this for someone without kids.”
Heat rose to my cheeks. “Blame the teenager with babies on the brain. She wanted a house full of them.” Under my breath, I added, “Obviously, that didn’t happen.”
Harper’s gaze softened. “A few extra days, huh?”
My eyes remained firmly fixed on the baby in my arms as I breathed out my answer. “Yeah.”
“What are you drinking? It’s my treat.”
Head whipping up, I began to protest, “Oh, no, Harper. I invited you—“
She held up a hand. “Nope. Don’t try that shit with me. You’re holding my baby, and it’s no small miracle he’s quieted enough that I can hear my own thoughts. It’s the least I can do.”
I knew better than to argue further. “Caramel macchiato. ”
“Sounds fancy. Maybe I can make Rita’s head explode by ordering two.” She smirked before heading to the counter.
Grady passed out in my arms while Harper was getting our coffee. Poor little guy. He’d worn himself out. I prayed for his mama’s sake that he would be in a better mood when he woke.
I gently eased myself into an armchair, trying not to jostle him when I sat down. His angelic face was still flushed pink from his earlier crying episode; the black eyelashes fanning his cheeks were clumped together with residual tears.
“Here.”
I looked up to find Harper holding out my drink. Shifting the sleeping baby, I freed a hand to accept it.
A corner of her lips turned up as she took the chair opposite me. “That’s what we call being nap-trapped. Hope you don’t find yourself in need of the restroom anytime soon because you’re gonna be stuck for a while.”
I peeked down at the beautiful boy, and my heart panged with longing. “I’m sure I’ll manage just fine.”
“You’re a natural,” she remarked. Then she let out a little laugh. “Come to think of it, Tucker is too.”
The memory of him and Mac flying Harper’s older two children around the lawn at the rehearsal dinner came to mind. Right behind it came the one where Tucker danced with Aubree at the wedding for no less than an hour before she fell asleep on his shoulder.
He might not have any children of his own, but there was no denying fatherhood suited Tucker.
We’d talked about starting a family when we were younger, and I wondered if that was still something he wanted.
“It’s my duty to inform you that a condition of me buyin’ you that coffee is that I have full rights to be nosy about what you’re still doing here. ”
I arched an eyebrow. “That so?”
Harper gave a firm nod. “And since you were the one who messaged me to meet up this morning, I have a feeling you’re in need of someone to talk to with your best friend being out of the country.”
She had me there.
Letting out a heavy breath, I confessed, “These past few days took a turn I wasn’t expecting.”
“I’ll say. You swapped a fiancé for a boyfriend.”
I stiffened. “Boyfriend might be a bit of a stretch. We haven’t really talked about what we are. And with me leaving . . .”
Setting down her mug on the table situated between us, Harper leaned forward with her elbows resting on her knees. “We weren’t close in school, Bex, but it was impossible not to notice the blinding display of love you and Tucker put on. I can’t even begin to imagine how painful it was when the two of you split.”
My lungs constricted as tears burned behind my eyes. The pure agony of having my heart ripped out by the man I loved was still so fresh in my mind.
“It’s none of my business how the two of you managed to bury the hatchet—and Lord knows you’re a better woman than me because I’m not sure I could have forgiven that man his sins—but now that you have, what’s holding you back?”
I blinked at her. “Holding me back?”
“Yeah.” She shrugged. “You don’t want to put a label on whatever it is the two of you are doing, and you might’ve put off leavin’, but you’re still intending to go. Why aren’t you embracing this fresh start?”
Damn, this was the last thing I expected when I invited Harper to meet for coffee. But I’d be lying if she wasn’t giving me the push I needed to put what I was feeling into words, to unburden myself by sharing my thoughts with another human being and getting their feedback.
“It just feels too easy, you know? Having him back makes me so happy I can barely contain it, but at the same time, there’s this paralyzing fear that comes with it. I put all my eggs in one basket with Tucker once before and got burned so badly that my heart hasn’t been the same ever since. What if I do it again and the same thing happens? I won’t survive losing him—the dream of our future—a second time.”
Harper’s lips folded inward as she mulled over my fears, spoken aloud for the first time.
After what felt like an eternity, she offered her thoughts. “Maybe you’ve suffered through more than your fair share of hard and this is the universe’s way of making it even.”
“You really think so?” My chest ached with how badly I wanted her belief to be true.
“I do.” She nodded with conviction. “What you have with Tucker is so special that when you didn’t get your happy ending together, I remember thinking to myself that if you guys couldn’t make it, what hope did I have?”
I dipped my chin toward Grady, staring down at the sleeping infant. “Seems like you did okay.”
“Our love story may not be perfect, but it’s ours,” she agreed.
Needing a distraction from my own love life, I asked, “How’d you end up with Colt anyhow? If you don’t mind me askin’.”
“You’re not the first person to wonder how a girl from Rust Canyon snagged one of the seemingly untouchable Winfield boys. And to tell you the truth, it still boggles my mind as well.”
Growing up, we knew of the Winfields, but we didn’t really know them, not in the same way we were intimately acquainted with the six hundred members of our community. Their property was set an hour outside of Rust Canyon—a cattle ranch as opposed to one specializing in breeding horses, like the Sullivans’—so they homeschooled their boys, only coming into town occasionally. All three Winfield boys were dark and broody but as handsome as all get-out. When they walked down Main Street, they turned every young lady’s head. Though not a one of those boys seemed the least bit interested in female companionship.
So, it stood to reason that I would be curious about how at least one of them had found their way to settling down. And with someone I knew, no less.
Harper hummed, preparing to tell her tale.
“After graduation, I took up a job working behind the counter at Canyon Comforts. One evening, the Winfield boys came in for dinner. They were seated at a table, being waited on by one of the other waitresses, but one of them kept staring in my direction.”
“Colt,” I surmised.
“Colt,” she confirmed. “Though I didn’t know it at the time. They all look so much alike it was hard to tell them apart. Of course, it’s easier now that I see them every day, but back then, they were practically strangers. Handsome strangers, but strangers, nonetheless.
“They left, and I’d just about managed to put it out of my mind how his intense attention made my skin feel too tight, when he came back the very next night. This time, alone.”
My smile couldn’t be contained. “I’m guessin’ he came in to see you?”
She tilted her face skyward and blew out a breath. “I was so startled when I turned around and found him seated at the counter that I nearly dropped the coffee pot in my hand. To see those boys in town once a month was stretching it, so two days in a row? How could I not think he was there to see me? But I didn’t want to presume anything for fear of misreading the situation and making a fool of myself, so I kept my head down, took his order, and served it to him without so much as a word.
“The third night was when it sank in that his return wasn’t a coincidence. By the sixth consecutive night, I couldn’t take the silence any longer, and my nervous chatter rose to the surface. For days on end, I talked, and he listened.” She huffed out a laugh. “Not much has changed in all these years, to tell you the truth.”
Colt was definitely more of the strong, silent type. He reminded me of Jett in that way.
“After three weeks, I’m pretty sure he knew my entire life story. Almost as if he could sense I’d nearly run out of words a month in, he cleared his throat, and my lips zipped instantly in anticipation of hearing him speak for the first time outside of his nightly dinner order.
“‘Miss Coleman,’ he said.” She tried to imitate his gruff voice. “If you don’t mind marryin’ a rancher, I’d like to take care of you for the rest of your life.”
My mouth dropped open. “Just like that, he proposed?”
A blush rose to Harper’s cheeks. “Call me crazy, but the words had barely left his mouth before I said yes.”
How could I possibly call into question her sanity when I knew just as quickly that Tucker was the one I was meant to marry?
“That leap of faith has brought us nine years of marriage and three kids. There are days we have to work harder at it than others, but the bottom line is I’d rather fight through those tough days than give up. The thought of life without him is unimaginable.
“You know what it’s like to live without Tucker. Is that what you want for the rest of your life? Or is it worth the risk of trying again to see if, this time, you can get that happy ending you always pictured? Even if a decade later than you originally planned .
“As far as I can tell, there hasn’t been anyone else for him since he came home. He’s just been sitting here, waiting on the off chance that someday a miracle might happen.”
We’d lost so much, suffered so much heartbreak, but we still loved each other. That, in and of itself, was a miracle.
Tucker had always been easy to read. I could tell he wanted me to stay, to snap my fingers and make my life in Chicago disappear. But it wasn’t that simple. There were loose ends that needed to be tied up, and I would need to figure out how to transition my career from the city to the country. Those things would take time.
But if he loved me the way I knew he did, we could make it through a little more time apart if it meant being together forever.