8. Chapter 8
‘Alright, my old mucker,’ said Caroline, thrusting a large glass of water in front of Ruby, ‘get that down you, and then tell me what on Earth’s got you so worked up!’
Ruby took the glass with trembling fingers and shot her friend a watery smile. She’d known Caroline since they’d both been in nappies… and this was her at her most gentle. As in - not at all. Caroline had always been like a bull in a china shop. It was a trait Ruby found weirdly comforting. Just the fact that there was something as steady and unchangeable as Caroline Cook in Crumbleton made Ruby breathe a sigh of relief.
‘Come on Rubes, out with it,’ said Caroline, crossing her arms. ‘Who do I have to sit on?! Was it your parents?’
Ruby shook her head. ‘I’ve not even seen them yet!’
‘Then who?!’ demanded Caroline, looking more than a little fierce.
‘Oliver. Evans.’ Ruby muttered the name between sips of water.
‘What’s my dear old cuz been doing to reduce you to tears!’ said Caroline, her eyes going wide with surprise.
Ruby shook her head and took another sip of water – mainly as a delaying tactic. Perhaps coming to Caroline hadn’t been the best idea after all. She really wasn’t one for tea and sympathy – and Ruby was on the verge of getting hysterical about a guy she hadn’t seen since she was a teenager. A guy she’d only dated for one summer. In secret.
‘I mean, I know you guys have got the whole old flame thing going on,’ said Caroline, ‘but seriously - it’s been years!’
Okay – mostly secret!
Ruby just stared at Caroline, not knowing what to say. How could she admit she was still in love with the same person she’d fallen for all those years ago – when she was just a kid? How could she own up to the fact that she hadn’t even dated – let alone had a relationship with anyone – since she’d left Crumbleton?
‘Look… are you going to give me the gossip or am I going to have to go snooping?’ said Caroline, perching on the edge of her desk and watching Ruby with hawk-like interest.
‘Off the record?’ said Ruby. It was a force of habit when it came to talking to Caroline.
‘It’s always off the record with you, Rubes,’ laughed Caroline. ‘You know that. Unless you explicitly tell me otherwise, of course. Besides, I don’t think anyone would be that interested in reading about your teenage exploits… even if you are the talk of the town at the moment, what with you being our very own home-grown celeb!’
‘Urgh… don’t joke!’ Ruby wrinkled her nose and shook her head.
‘I’m not,’ said Caroline in surprise. ‘Not about that last bit, at least. You know, I don’t understand why you always get your knickers in a twist the moment anyone mentions your writing. You should be proud of what you’ve achieved! The book is stunning - and by the looks of it, the rest of the world thinks so too. I know we’re a bit biased in Crumbleton – but we’re allowed to be proud of you, you know!’
Ruby cringed and took another sip of water. How had they just managed to stray from one excruciating topic to another that was equally as painful in a matter of seconds?
‘Can we not… with the book stuff?’ she said, clearing her throat and glancing up at the intricate mouldings on the ceiling.
Ruby had just come to the annoying realisation that this time, there was no way she could do a runner to avoid talking about a sticky subject. It might have worked with Oli – at least temporarily - but Caroline would probably rugby-tackle her to the cobbles and force answers out of her in the middle of the high street if she tried the same trick on her.
‘Why not?’ sighed Caroline. ‘Come on Rubes… spill!’
‘Okay, fine’ said Ruby, quickly deciding that out of the two topics on the table - Oli or writing - writing was marginally less puke-worthy. ‘I liked the writing bit… when it was just me, in my bedroom - and the characters were talking to me and all I had to do was bung everything on a page.’ She paused and glanced at Caroline, but her friend stayed quiet. ‘Then I finished it and sent it out… because that’s what you’re meant to do, right?’
Caroline shrugged and nodded.
‘And then the world went mad. It felt like I blinked and suddenly I had this agent. Blink again and I had a publisher and an editor who believed in the story.’
‘But surely that’s a good thing?’ said Caroline. ‘Kind of the whole point?’
‘Yeah,’ said Ruby nodding. ‘Harriet wanted the book to be as strong as it could be. Her edits were brilliant - but every change I made took me one step further away from the story I’d cosied up with on my own for so long.’
‘Weird process!’ said Caroline.
Ruby nodded again. She knew she sounded ridiculous right now - that’s why she never talked about this to anyone. But this wasn’t just anyone… this was Caroline. She knew she could talk to her about pretty much anything.
‘I know I’m lucky,’ she said grudgingly. ‘Plenty of people have made it blindingly obvious that this is the kind of thing other writers would give a kidney for.’
‘Right,’ said Caroline. ‘I mean… maybe not an actual body-part… but…’
‘You know what I mean!’ Ruby huffed at her ever-literal friend. ‘Anyway – before I knew what was happening, there were all these international auctions… and… well… suddenly I’m getting all this attention for this book and it doesn’t feel right. I don’t deserve all this fuss.’
‘Why not,’ laughed Caroline. ‘You wrote it!’
‘I did… but I don’t really remember much about it. I just sat down and hammered it out. Harriet’s edits were what polished it. Now everyone wants me to talk about writing the blasted thing until the cows come home.’
‘Okay – breathe!’ said Caroline, sounding unusually gentle. ‘You’re at the end of a pretty long tour. It’s natural you’re a bit tired of the whole thing and bored of the same old questions.’
‘But I’ve felt like this from the very first interview,’ said Ruby. ‘And now Harriet’s dropping hints about the next book!’
‘Well… that’s a good thing too,’ said Caroline. ‘You can hole back up in your flat, pretend the world doesn’t exist, and get back to the bit you did enjoy about the whole process.’
‘It won’t be the same,’ said Ruby, feeling a wave of exhaustion roll over her.
‘Why on Earth not?!’ said Caroline.
‘Because now I know what happens when I’m done with it. I know I’ll have to jump straight back on this marketing treadmill.’ She paused, gnawing at her lip until she tasted the metallic tang of blood. ‘There’ll be more deadlines. More pressure…’
‘More sales, more money,’ countered Caroline. ‘What an amazing life!’
‘That’s just it!’ Ruby practically shouted in frustration.
‘What’s just it?’ said Caroline. Her voice was still calm and low, but she held Ruby’s eyes with the kind of intensity that demanded the truth.
‘I don’t have a life,’ muttered Ruby. ‘No real friends, no community. I’m not at home anywhere.’
‘Excuse me?’ huffed Caroline, suddenly looking decidedly put out. ‘You have friends. You’ve always had friends. It’s not our fault you absolutely refuse to come home to see us.’
‘I didn’t mean…’ said Ruby quickly. ‘I just meant… not up there. Not in London.’
‘Then why are you still living there?’ said Caroline. ‘Why is this the first time I’ve seen you home in six years? Why is it that - whenever I need my Ruby fix - I have to shlep all the way to the bloody capital?’
Silence descended on the room for a long moment, and it was as much as Ruby could do not to make a break for the door.
‘Well… at least you’re here now I guess,’ said Caroline, after the moment had stretched out so far it felt like it was going to snap.
‘I’m only here because I had to come back,’ Ruby muttered. ‘Trust me, I’ll be out of here the minute I’ve signed the last book… if not before.’
‘Wait… what?’ said Caroline, looking hurt. ‘I thought you’d at least stay for a couple of weeks!’
‘It wasn’t my idea to come back, you know,’ said Ruby. ‘It was Harriet’s - and there was no talking her out of it. Believe me – I tried. But then I figured at least I’d get to see you, and my parents, and Reuben-’
‘But Reuben moved away more than a year ago!’ said Caroline, looking confused.
‘Well, I know that now!’ huffed Ruby. ‘The bookshop belongs to-’
‘Oli,’ said Caroline, nodding.
‘Why didn’t you tell me?!’ demanded Ruby.
‘I assumed you knew!’ said Caroline with a little laugh. ‘I mean… you are doing an event for him in a couple of days. And he chased that hard.’
‘No he didn’t,’ scoffed Ruby. ‘Harriet chased that hard.’
‘Have it your way,’ said Caroline mildly, standing up and making her way around to her chair on the other side of the desk. ‘Anyway – you can’t blame me for not filling you in. I couldn’t tell you anything about him, could I?’
‘But-’ said Ruby
‘After he left for America,’ said Caroline, raising her voice to cut across her, ‘you made me swear I’d never - ever - mention my cousin to you again. Ever. On pain of-’
‘Disembowelment,’ said Ruby quietly. Because she had said that. She leaned forward and dropped her head into her hands. ‘Car,’ she breathed, ‘I’m… I’m sorry for being such a selfish ass.’
‘You’re not an ass!’ said Caroline.
‘But I have been selfish,’ countered Ruby.
‘To be fair, Rubes, you were just trying to find your way in the world like the rest of us,’ said Caroline. ‘But I always thought, when you’d had a break from Crumbleton’s slightly smothering embrace – and got over the thing with Oli - you’d come back. At least for a visit.’
Ruby looked up again and pulled a face.
‘Was it really that bad here?’ said Caroline. ‘I thought we had a pretty awesome childhood! I thought you were happy. I mean… I just don’t understand. Please don’t tell me I missed some deep, dark secret about my closest friend that completely effed you up!’
Ruby stared at Caroline, not daring to blink.
‘Shit,’ breathed Caroline. ‘There was something. This isn’t just a random break from Crumbleton that got out of hand…’
Ruby gave her head the slightest of shakes. ‘I couldn’t stay here after Oli left,’ she said. ‘There were just too many memories…’
‘But you were the one who stopped contacting him!’ said Caroline. ‘How come-’
‘I had to!’ said Ruby. ‘I didn’t have a choice!’
‘But… why?’ said Caroline. ‘I mean – he got on that plane and then cut him out of your life. Hell – you even took yourself off social media – who does that?!’
‘I didn’t have a choice,’ she said again. ‘Oli’s dad…’
‘Uncle Mike?’ said Caroline with a frown.
Ruby nodded. ‘I guess he was just doing what he thought was best for Oli. I don’t know how he found out about us – but he came into the café one day when I was working. It was early and I was on my own out front.’
‘What did he say?’ said Caroline, her eyes wide.
If you really love him, you’ll let him go. If you really love him, you’ll disappear and make sure he gets the life he deserves. But you don’t love him, do you? You don’t even care - because you’re going to let him throw everything away for you.
Ruby shrugged. Caroline didn’t need to know what a git her uncle was. At least – not the specifics.
‘He just said I’d be holding Oli back if I didn’t let him go,’ she said, swallowing a hard lump of emotion.
‘I hate to speak ill of the dead,’ sighed Caroline, ‘but the guy was always a bit of an arse.’
‘Oli’s dad’s dead?’ said Ruby, feeling the shock hit her in the chest like a physical blow.
Caroline nodded.
‘Wait – is that why Oli came back?’ said Ruby.
‘No, I don’t think so,’ said Caroline.
‘Then why-’
‘You know,’ said Caroline, ‘I think you two really need to talk to each other about this. As much as I adore playing piggy-in-the-middle…’
‘Wait – has Oli said something to you about me?’ said Ruby.
Caroline let out a long sigh. ‘You might have banned me from ever mentioning his name, but my darling cousin never made the same demand about you - sadly!’
‘Tell me what he said!’ said Ruby.
‘No chance,’ said Caroline.
‘But why?’ said Ruby, wide-eyed. ‘Was it bad? Wait… maybe I don’t want to know.’
Caroline snorted. ‘Look, why don’t you head up to your parents’ place and chill out for a bit. Unpack, get settled, and then you can go back to the bookshop for a proper catch-up with him.’
‘Can’t,’ said Ruby.
‘Why on Earth not?’ said Caroline.
‘I kind of stormed out when I discovered that he was the new owner… and left my bag behind,’ she said, feeling her face flush.
‘Well then – you’ll just have to go back there first,’ said Caroline with an easy shrug.
‘That’d be a bit inconvenient, considering I’ve vowed never to set foot in the place ever again,’ she huffed.
‘My goodness - you are a drama queen!’ chuckled Caroline.
‘It’s not funny!’ said Ruby.
‘It’s flippin’ hilarious!’ said Caroline stoutly. ‘Let me lay it out for you. One,’ she held up a finger, ‘just the idea we’ll be able to keep you out of any bookshop is laughable. Two,’ a second finger went up, ‘you have an event in there the day after tomorrow. You’ve always been a good girl - so you’ll be there. And three,’ Caroline held up a third finger, ‘you and my cousin - who I’ve heard members of the local WI describe as “our beautiful beefy bookseller” - clearly have things you need to talk about.’
‘I… no… we…’ spluttered Ruby.
‘That’s what I thought,’ said Caroline. ‘I think six years is plenty long enough for both of you to stew, don’t you?’
‘I think I’ll go see my parents now,’ said Ruby quietly.
‘Wuss!’ chuckled Caroline. ‘But yeah, you better had. Erm… one question, though-’
‘Just the one?’ said Ruby, hauling herself to her feet. She was exhausted. She might have only just got back, but she felt like she’d gone ten rounds with the little town already.
‘Yeah, for now,’ said Caroline. ‘What are you going to do about your bag?’
‘Erm…’ Ruby ran her fingers through her hair. ‘Maybe… I was wondering… could you…?’
‘Double wuss!’ chuckled Caroline. ‘But fine - you go put your poor parents out of their misery. I know they’re a bit nutty - but they do love you - and I bet they’ve missed you.’
‘Deep down,’ muttered Ruby.
‘Well, yeah,’ said Caroline. ‘I’ve got to go up to the museum a bit later anyway, so I’ll nip into the bookshop and grab your bag on the way.’
‘You will?’ said Ruby.
‘Of course,’ said Caroline. ‘You know I’d do anything for you… and besides, it’ll give me a chance to get the low-down on how Oli feels about you being back in town.’
‘You wouldn’t dare?!’ said Ruby, her eyes going wide.
‘Oh come on Rubes!’ said Caroline, a decidedly naughty twinkle in her eye. ‘He’s back in town… and single. You’re back in town… and single… Just think of the possibilities!’
‘Nope. No no no,’ said Ruby, shaking her head. ‘No possibilities,’ she added firmly, even though something at the back of her brain seemed to be shifting - rearranging itself around this new bit of information.
It wasn’t that she’d never wondered about Oli’s relationship status, but she’d never dreamed of actually trying to find out.
‘No,’ she said again, more firmly. ‘I’m here for all of five minutes - then I’m gone. I don’t need you stirring things up.’
‘Spoilsport,’ pouted Caroline. ‘Well, I’ll grab your bag - but at least let me just double-check that Oli doesn’t have anyone else in the picture.’
‘Yes please to the bag,’ said Ruby grudgingly. ‘As to any digging, that’s nothing to do with me.’
‘Oh come on, admit it. You want all the gossip about my idiot cousin!’ said Caroline with a grin.
‘Fine. I do,’ sighed Ruby. ‘But don’t mention me… and just make sure it’s-’
‘Yeah, yeah, off the record,’ said Caroline, rolling her eyes.