11. Chapter 11
Ruby darted out of the kitchen and took the narrow, slightly crooked stairs two at a time as she made for her childhood bedroom.
She might have been dreading this moment, but she didn’t even pause before flinging the door open. She barely even registered the coating of bookish stickers still present on its once-glossy surface. Right now, the question as to whether Oliver Evans had been up here just minutes ago trumped everything else.
Her eyes flew to the bed. Sure enough, sitting on top of the soft quilt her grandma had sewn for her sixth birthday, was her rucksack.
‘Oh noooo!’ she groaned. Ruby’s insides felt like they’d somehow just melted.
It was a kind, thoughtful thing to do… but she didn’t want Oli to be kind and thoughtful. She didn’t want him to be anything. She definitely didn’t want him to be here in Crumbleton.
Keeping a respectful distance between herself and the bag, Ruby slumped down onto the bed. Then she stiffened as she imagined Oli himself sitting right where she was. Had he been here in her room? Had he brought the bag up himself - or just left it downstairs with her dad?
Ruby sniffed the air as though the answer might be lingering in a waft of manly scent - that mix of old books combined with something deep and woody she’d caught earlier in the bookshop.
‘Pull yourself together!’ she muttered, shooting a glance at her bag out of the corner of her eye, as though not making proper eye contact with it might mean it wasn’t really there.
‘Wait… what?!’
Something white caught her eye. A piece of folded printer paper lay on the quilt just behind her bag. Ruby reached out for it with tentative fingers, half expecting it to bite. Of course - it didn’t, it was just a piece of paper.
Unfolding it slowly, Ruby instantly recognised the tight, loopy scrawl from years ago. Memories flooded back – of nervous knots twisting in her stomach as she prepared to help the most popular boy in the whole school - the star of the sports field - to study for his English literature exams.
Ruby stared at the note, not reading the words but letting her eyes drift down to the signature at the bottom. Oli E. There it was, along with a great big kiss.
‘Oh shit,’ she sighed, folding the paper up again – over and over until it was in a tight little wad. She was more than a little bit tempted to bung it straight in the bin. Instead, she thrust it into her jeans pocket.
Out of sight, out of mind.
Coming home to Crumbleton was always going to be tough, but now that Oli was here too, it had reached a whole other level. Clambering to her feet, Ruby took a deep breath as she hunted for any kind of distraction. She stared around her old bedroom. The result was an instant lump in her throat and the sensation of an elephant sitting on her chest.
Not a single thing had changed.
Across the room, under the window that looked out onto Crumbleton High Street, sat her desk. She might have had all the freedom in the world as a kid… but the reality was - she’d been a good girl who’d craved nothing but her parents’ attention and approval. When the first wasn’t forthcoming, and the second was only granted with a kind of dithery detachment, Ruby had turned to schoolwork and lost herself in writing.
The old Royal typewriter she’d bought with her pocket money at ten years old was sitting exactly where she’d left it - a page of slightly yellowed paper still wound in place.
Ruby frowned. She could just make out a single line of type. Moving closer, she peered at the words.
I have to leave this place. Without him, it’s just-
She’d never finished the sentence.
‘…just not home,’ she whispered.
But now, the him in question was back.
With one swift movement, she yanked the paper out of the old typewriter, crumpled it into a tight ball and lobbed it at the waste paper basket. The room may have sat untouched for years - save for some cursory hoovering - but she couldn’t bear the idea of leaving that unfinished sentence hanging around a minute longer.
Breathing heavily, Ruby made a slow turn on the spot as her teenage years came to life around her. There were drawings all over the walls. Scrappy sketches of her favourite people and places around the town. Stacks of notebooks leaned drunkenly against teetering piles of typewritten pages next to her desk. They contained millions of words - hundreds of stories and ideas - all featuring people who’d surrounded her in her day-to-day life. Ruby shuddered. The old feeling of being hemmed in was starting to creep over her.
It was the exact feeling Oli had saved her from all those years ago.
Turning back to the bed, Ruby tossed her bag onto the floor and collapsed onto the mattress. The resulting cloud of dust made her nose tickle, and she sneezed.
‘Just read the damn note!’ she growled.
Yanking it back out of her pocket before she could change her mind again, Ruby unfolded the page and smoothed out the creases. She’d just have to ignore the fact that her hands were shaking so much the whole thing was quivering.
Dear Ruby,
You left your bag in the shop. I thought you might need it, so I’m going to drop it off with your mum and dad - I guess that’s where you’re staying?
We need to talk about your event. I was hoping to go over it earlier, but I guess it was all a bit much and you needed to - land a bit? Anyway, I’ll be down at the Dolphin amp; Anchor this evening at 7pm. I’ll grab a quiet table. I want to make sure I’ve got everything you need lined up. Tickets have sold out, so we should have a good crowd.
Here’s my mobile number in case you need it. See you later. Or not.
I’ll be there either way.
Oli E x
Ruby stared for several long minutes at the kiss after his name before letting her eyes drift to the carefully printed phone number below.
This doesn’t mean anything. Nothing at all.
Except… it did. After six years of maintaining zero contact - six years of avoiding social media like the plague - she had his phone number in her hands.
‘It doesn’t mean a thing,’ she huffed, trying to convince herself
Caroline might have said he was single - but that didn’t mean he was remotely interested in her other than as a visiting author. Just because her life had been on hold ever since she’d left Crumbleton - ever since he’d left Crumbleton - it didn’t mean the same thing was true for him.
‘Not your whole life,’ she muttered, coming to her own defence. She might have avoided any kind of personal life, but she’d thrown herself into her writing. She had a career. A successful one.
Write edit submit. Write edit submit. Late nights and early mornings, filling page after page with words until she got the deal. Then her lonely life exploded with meetings, edits, tours and readings.
But now… Oli was here… and she was going to have to face him.
‘Maybe not tonight,’ she whispered.
After all, what would her parents say if she deserted them on her first night home?! The thought made Ruby snort in amusement. As excuses went, it was a lame one. If she was being honest, they probably wouldn’t even notice if she went out.
Ruby had spent quite a bit of her childhood wishing she had more “normal” parents – but they’d always done things their own way. They encouraged independence – developing self-sufficiency and spending time on interests. They chased their own with zeal and urged her to do the same.
The three of them had lived in this house more like roommates than a family. In one way, it had given her so much freedom… but in another, Ruby just wanted to be able to turn to them about all the usual things. Like boys and broken hearts.
‘Get me out of here!’ she sighed.
She should have put her foot down and told her publisher that Crumbleton was out of the question. But… here she was. Always the good girl - save for that wonderful, brief interlude that had changed the course of her life forever.
Ruby stared at Oli’s note again, letting her eyes linger on every little loop, tail and dot… and then those numbers. She should grab her mobile and call him right now. She should tell him that she wasn’t going to be at the Dolphin and Anchor. She should tell him that she wasn’t even going to be at the signing.
‘Of course you will,’ huffed Ruby, turning over and burying her face in the musty pillows.
Of course she would. Because she was still a good girl… and because, after all these years, she still craved his company. He was like a drug she’d gone cold turkey on – and she didn’t have the strength to stay away from him any longer. Not when she had so many ready-made excuses not to.
A knock at the door made Ruby sit bolt upright.
‘Yep?’ she squeaked, scared that she’d somehow managed to summon him to her door just by thinking about him too much.
‘Rubes – your dad’s off to the chippy over at Crumbleton Sands later to bring back some tea. You want something?’
It was her mum. This was the way it had always been. No family meals… just a kind of free-for-all student set-up.
‘No ta,’ she said, keeping her voice as light as possible. ‘I’ve got to meet Oli later to talk about the signing.’
‘Oh – exciting…’ said her mum.
Ruby held her breath. She wanted to ask if her parents were planning to be there… but she didn’t dare. Mainly because her heart would break a tiny bit if the answer was no – even if it wouldn’t really be a surprise.
‘See you later, then,’ said her mum.
‘Yeah,’ sighed Ruby, ‘see you.’
Blinking hard and telling herself not to be an idiot, Ruby grabbed her phone. She wasn’t going to text Oli - she’d just turn up. At least that way she could back out at the last minute if she needed to.
Instead, she pulled up Caroline’s number.
Don’t worry about the bag. According to the parentals, Oli dropped it over before I got back. He asked me to meet him later at the Damp;A. What should I do?
She kind of hated the fact that she’d been back all of three seconds and was already deferring to her friend rather than making adult decisions for herself. But still… she needed backup on this particular conundrum.
Go! What have you got to lose?
Ruby cocked her head. It was a good question. Not much other than her dignity - and frankly that was in shreds already.
Kinda excited and dreading it at the same time
She sent the message without thinking about it too much. Two seconds later, her phone vibrated.
Love is in the air!
Ruby’s eyes widened. Nope nope nope. She really didn’t need Caroline saying stupid stuff like that - even if it was just to her. After all, this was Crumbleton. The walls had ears!
All business. Anything else is ancient history that NO ONE needs to be talking about!
Ruby hauled herself off the bed. She needed to find something to wear that hadn’t faced several hours on a train followed by far too much dashing up and down the hill. She’d only just managed to yank the backpack open when her phone vibrated again.
Spoilsport.