Chapter 17
Lily watched as Ben tried once more to open up the door by pressing his fingertips into the door frame. But with the door being completely smooth and having no handle, it was an impossible task.
‘Believe me, I’m not thrilled about being stuck in here either,’ Lily told him, sinking down to perch on a nearby table.
Ben turned around to scowl at her. ‘I’m not sure I can believe anything that you say any more,’ he replied.
She gulped, the guilt of her lies made her feel sick to her stomach. ‘Look, I understand why you’re upset,’ she told him in a small voice. ‘But can you let me at least try and explain why I lied about still being employed by Haubermann?’
Ben looked at her for a long time before coming over to sit down on a nearby crate, crossing his arms in front of his chest.
‘Go on then,’ he said, piercing her with his brown eyes.
She took a deep breath, trying to find the right words to convince him that she wasn’t a bad person. She had thought that by lying she could safeguard her future career but she had only ended up making everything worse.
‘I’m sorry,’ she began, finally speaking the truth from her heart.
‘I thought I was protecting you and your family by lying about my job but the truth is that I was only thinking of myself. I’ve been fighting for so long to be recognised for my talent as an interior designer.
It’s been incredibly frustrating, to be honest. I did all the work but Hans took all the credit for everything. ’
Ben frowned but didn’t say anything.
‘Then two weeks ago it all came to a head,’ she said, forcing herself to carry on into the silence.
‘He had promised me a partner position and I thought that all the sacrifices would be worth it. But Hans announced that he had changed his mind and made me redundant instead. With less than two years at the company, the pay-off was almost worthless.’ She dragged a hand through her hair.
‘I was devastated. All those years of hard work. All that effort, all those years of wasted opportunity and for nothing.’
She was still so incredibly disappointed with what had happened.
‘What do you mean he took all the credit for your work?’ asked Ben.
‘Hans has no creative talent,’ she replied. ‘None at all. So he gets us junior assistants to create the designs and then steps forward right at the end to tell the customer that it was all his own work.’
‘That’s awful,’ said Ben, looking aghast. ‘You should sue him.’
‘Apparently there’s a tiny clause in our contracts that doesn’t allow for that,’ she told him, with a shrug. ‘Which is another lesson learned – always read your contracts from start to finish.’ She tried and failed to raise a smile.
‘So why did he sack you?’ he asked.
‘Apparently it always happens whenever anyone gets too close to being promoted.’ Lily ran a hand through her hair before letting it fall. ‘I was an idiot to ever believe him.’
Ben shuffled on the crate but remained silent.
Lily forced herself to look at him, meeting his dark eyes with hers.
‘And then Hannah rang,’ she carried on, her voice a little shaky with emotion.
‘Lovely Hannah with her kind heart had thought of me and suddenly I saw a way to keep everyone happy. The hotel could receive its makeover, I’d help out my best friend and I would have a stepping stone towards setting up my own interior design company. ’
‘Is that what you want?’ he asked. ‘To have your own company?’
As the silence stretched out once more, suddenly she had an urge to speak from the heart. To reveal a little more about her dream, something she had never shared with anyone.
‘You don’t understand,’ she told him softly.
‘You see, I don’t have anything else in my life but my career.
I spent my childhood following my parents around from country to country and that wasn’t the best way to make friends.
So I buried myself in my career. I thought that owning my own company would be the pinnacle of success.
It would be the absolute proof to my parents that it was the right decision to choose this path. ’
He looked at her thoughtfully. ‘Hannah told me how creative you’ve always been. Decorating the house you all shared and other stuff. I’m surprised there was any doubt that you would have chosen being an interior designer, given your obvious talent.’
Lily gulped. ‘My parents weren’t always supportive,’ she told him. ‘My dad’s a diplomat and they were both hoping that I would follow their footsteps into a similar career. To be creative was always viewed as frivolous, where they’re concerned.’
Ben raised his eyebrows in surprise.
‘They love me and I know how much they care for me,’ she told him, rushing on. ‘And yet there’s always this underlying feeling that they’re disappointed in my choice of career. So I have to succeed to prove them wrong. And that means having my own company, whatever the sacrifices.’
‘But you said that they loved you.’
She nodded.
‘So they would support your career anyway?’ he carried on.
‘I just know it’s not their choice for me,’ she said.
‘But you made that decision for yourself anyway. Have they ever said anything?’ he asked.
‘No.’ She gave him a rueful smile. ‘Except to nag me that I don’t have a social life.’
He looked surprised. ‘You don’t?’
She shook her head. ‘Only the girls and even then I don’t see enough of them. You know how it is, working in London. Everyone’s chasing their dream and working overtime.’
‘I disagree,’ he told her. ‘When I was working, I still went out and had fun each weekend.’
‘Yes but you must also understand about the pressures of deadlines,’ she said.
‘I had all of those things too,’ he replied. ‘But work is just work.’
She leaned back against the wall and blew out a sigh. ‘I think that’s what your sister’s been trying to tell me for a while. And Beth and Ella too.’
‘Well, we can’t all be wrong, can we?’ He gave her a small smile. ‘Look, I understand about your career but is it really more important than being honest to your friends? To my sister?’
She shook her head. ‘No.’ She felt guilty.
And upset. She’d lied to Hannah. When had she started doing that?
‘I love my friends, of course.’ Lily hesitated, looking down at the floorboards beneath her Converse trainers instead of him.
‘Hannah doesn’t know that I lost my job, by the way.
None of them do. I was too embarrassed to tell them that I was a failure. ’
Finally she looked up at him.
‘I’d already guessed that she didn’t know,’ he replied before giving her a warm smile. ‘Hannah’s always been terrible at keeping secrets.’
Suddenly Lily saw herself through his eyes and was embarrassed. ‘What’s wrong with me?’ she asked, rolling her eyes at herself. ‘Why can’t I trust people? I mean, Hannah’s one of my best friends and I still can’t be honest with her. I’ve let her down. I’ve let you all down. I’m so sorry.’
She heard the shaky note in her voice and stopped speaking, worried she might actually start to cry in front of Ben.
The truth was, she realised in that moment, that despite moving around and not letting anyone close, she had actually always daydreamed of a permanent home and to have that daily connection with others.
The closeness of the Jackson family had highlighted just how lonely she had become by cutting herself off from her friends.
‘Being ambitious isn’t a crime,’ he told her, giving her a crooked smile.
‘But you’ve isolated yourself away from your friends and that’s never a good idea.
Especially when it sounds like you need them more than ever.
I mean, Alex and Jake are a pain in the neck but I couldn’t do without their support. Nor my family.’
‘Lucky you to be so happy in both your work and home life,’ she blurted out. ‘I haven’t been happy in either for a long time.’
Expecting him to agree with her, she was shocked when he looked at her with haunted eyes. ‘What? What’s the matter?’ she asked.
‘You’re not the only one that’s been lying,’ he told her.
She was shocked by what he had just said. ‘You?’ she asked. ‘You’ve been lying as well? To the family?’
He sighed and nodded. ‘Me too,’ he said softly.
She waited for him to speak on.
Finally, he did. ‘When my father died, I came back here to help my mother. I thought I’d give the family some support and then head back to my own life, my own career.
But then I looked at the finances and discovered things had gotten bad.
Really bad. And so I never left.’ He looked up at her with a bleak expression.
‘Dad had secretly remortgaged the place and then there was the fact that the whole hotel was in danger of slipping into the lake unless it was underpinned. It went pretty much downhill from there, almost literally in fact.’
‘But surely once the renovations are complete…?’ she began to ask, but her voice drifted off as she saw him shake his head once more. Lily was shocked and dismayed. She had had no idea that things were truly that bad.
‘I honestly don’t think it’ll be enough to save Maple Tree Lodge,’ he told her.