Chapter 18
Bethany had decided to shake things up a little and make a continental breakfast instead of a traditional English one. She’d filled the table with plates of bagels and cream cheese, Danish pastries, croissants, pancakes, syrup, fruit, yoghurts, and dishes of jam and butter.
She wasn’t sure how Clive, Maya and Lennox would react to the change of menu, but Miss Lavender had certainly been surprised earlier that morning.
‘My goodness. You certainly know how to feed them,’ she’d said, blinking bleary eyes at Bethany and stifling a yawn.
Bethany, who’d been packing the food into a bag, gave her a guilty look. It was only half past five and Miss Lavender should have been tucked up in bed, fast asleep.
‘Did I wake you?’ she asked worriedly.
Miss Lavender shrugged and forced a smile. ‘Don’t worry about it. It’s not your fault. I’m a very light sleeper. Not like Boycott and Trueman. Those two are still fast asleep in my room. Wonderful guard dogs they make, I must say.’
‘I’m so sorry. I really did try to be quiet.’ Bethany sighed. ‘Maybe these early mornings aren’t working.’
‘Well,’ Miss Lavender said hesitantly. ‘I didn’t like to say anything, but I do think you’re putting yourself out for nothing. I’m sure the workforce can sort their own breakfast out. I don’t think Joseph or Summer ever provided food, and why should they? Can you think of any other job where the staff has breakfast cooked for them by their employer?’
‘I’m not their employer, though,’ Bethany pointed out. ‘They’re all volunteers, coming in every morning to help me out. I owe them. The least I can do is provide them with a good meal to start the day.’
‘So that’s what this is about?’ Miss Lavender waved a hand in the direction of the kitchen worktop which was covered in supplies. ‘Guilt?’
‘Gratitude,’ Bethany said firmly. ‘It’s my way of saying thank you for all their hard work.’
‘But you’ve just said yourself the early mornings aren’t working,’ Miss Lavender pointed out.
‘I meant they’re not working for us. You and me. It’s not fair on you that, as quiet as I try to be, I’m disturbing your sleep every day. I think it’s time I moved out of here.’
Miss Lavender’s eyes widened. ‘Move out? But where would you go?’
Bethany took a deep breath. ‘Back to Whispering Willows. I’ve made a decision, Miss Lavender. I’m going to restore the place to the sort of family home it was in my grandparents’ day.’
‘Restore it? In what way?’
Bethany smiled. She’d been thinking about it all night and had lots of ideas. ‘The first thing I’ll do is hire a team of cleaners to get it super clean. It’s too big for me to do it by myself. Then I’ll hire decorators to get rid of all the old wallpaper and freshen the rooms up one by one. New flooring and carpets. New doors. New window furnishings. New furniture. I’ll have to get someone in to check the roof’s okay, naturally, and also the wiring. I’m not sure about the boiler and central heating system. It all seems fine to me, but I don’t know how old it is. I’ll ask Clive. I’m sure he’ll know.’
Miss Lavender shook her head, looking dazed. ‘That’s a huge undertaking, Bethany. Are you sure you’ve thought this through? It will be an expensive job, you know.’
‘I know that. But the thing is, as it stands now, the chances are that Whispering Willows could be bought by investors who’ll either turn the land into a holiday park or maybe develop it for housing. Either way, there’s a chance the house itself could be demolished. I really don’t want that to happen. I want it to be a family home again, and the best way to ensure that happens is to make it attractive to families.’
‘I suppose you have a point,’ Miss Lavender mused. ‘It would be a shame to see the house pulled down, and of course, we wouldn’t want a holiday park or anything like that in its place. But even so, it’s a lot of work and a lot of money. Are you certain?’
‘I’ll get my money back on it,’ Bethany assured her. ‘After all, the house cost me nothing to buy, so anything I sell it for is pure profit. Even if I spend every penny I’m likely to make from the sale it hasn’t left me out of pocket, has it?’
‘No.’ Miss Lavender eyed her thoughtfully. ‘And you intend to live there while all this is going on?’
Bethany smiled. ‘For one thing, I think I’ve outstayed my welcome here. No—’ she held up her hand as the old lady began to protest. ‘I know you’ll say I haven’t but look at us now. I’ve made you lose sleep and it’s not the first time, I’m sure. Besides, it will be something for me to do. I’m quite looking forward to it.’
Standing in the kitchen of Whispering Willows, she realised that was true. She glanced down at the table which was groaning under the weight of all that delicious looking food and felt something akin to satisfaction. She was looking forward to it. It was something to keep her occupied, and much more fulfilling than simply turning up every morning with breakfast. It would fill her empty days and make her feel useful. Now that she’d made the decision she was determined to give it everything she had. Finally, after what felt like forever, Bethany had a purpose.
‘This,’ she said aloud, ‘is the start of a new phase of my life.’
In fact, maybe this was what she was destined to do. Maybe that was why she’d never been able to settle anywhere. Maybe her future lay in buying up old houses, doing them up and selling them on. She could live in them while she did them up, she wouldn’t mind that. Perhaps her fate was never to really have a permanent home, but a series of temporary ones that she could improve ready for their forever owners.
She wasn’t a forever kind of person, and maybe it was time she accepted that.
Unexpectedly, her heart sank at the thought, but before she could question why, the door opened and Clive walked in.
Her poor confused heart, which had only just settled in the pit of her stomach, seemed to leap up into her throat, and she realised her frown had changed into a wide smile at the sight of him.
It didn’t take her long to see, though, that he wasn’t smiling in return. In fact, he looked quite stricken as he stared at her, seeming not to notice the table of food despite her best efforts to make it look as attractive as possible.
‘Bethany…’
His eyes were sad. Bethany swallowed.
‘What is it? What’s happened?’
He moved slowly towards her, and as he neared he put his hands on her arms and held her as he looked steadily into her eyes. At any other time she’d have been thrilled at his actions, but now she was afraid. This wasn’t like Clive.
‘It’s the wee man,’ he told her softly. ‘I called Walter this morning. I’m so sorry. He didn’t make it.’
Tears sprang into her eyes. ‘No! He can’t have… It’s not possible. You said Walter was a good vet. You said he had excellent equine facilities.’
‘Aye, and so he does. But I also told you that Dylan had been through an ordeal, and he wasn’t in good shape. We always knew this might happen, didn’t we? He just wasn’t strong enough to recover.’
Bethany pulled away from him and sank into one of the chairs. It felt as if a dam was breaking within her. She covered her face with her hands as she began to cry—softly at first, but with increasing emotion and intensity.
‘I know, I know,’ he soothed.
He sat down in the chair next to hers and put his arm around her shoulders, and after a moment’s hesitation she leaned against him and continued to cry. She wasn’t sure any longer what she was crying for. The thought of that poor little foal and the terrible state he’d been in when they’d found him broke her heart. She could only imagine how distressed Shirley must be, grieving for her lost child.
At the thought of that she cried even harder. Images of Joseph, the brother she’d loved and lost, swirled through her mind. Pepper, the pony she’d adored who’d been so brutally shot by her father. Her mother, unable to face another day on the same planet as her husband, even though it meant abandoning her two children.
It all seemed too much to bear.
Dimly she became aware that Clive had moved his chair closer to hers, and that both his arms were wrapped around her now. As she sobbed into his chest she heard him murmuring something to her but couldn’t make out what he was saying. He was stroking her hair. She couldn’t remember the last time someone had done that. Perhaps it had been her mother all those years ago, comforting her after she’d fallen, or after her father had said something nasty to her.
She didn’t think Ted had ever stroked her hair, but then, she’d never needed soothing when she’d been with him. She hadn’t felt anything deeply enough. Life had been very much on an even keel with Ted. No real lows, but no great highs either.
She hadn’t even cried much when Ted and Helena told her they were in love. Yet here she was, breaking her heart over some little foal she’d only seen once.
Clive must think she was pathetic.
She pulled away from him slightly, feeling foolish, but the feeling dissipated when she saw the grief in his own eyes. He understood. He wasn’t judging her at all.
‘I’m so sorry, Bethany,’ he said gently. He pushed a strand of hair away from her eyes then his gaze returned to her.
She stared tearfully back at him and saw him swallow hard.
Something stirred within her. Something so unexpectedly powerful it momentarily pushed all thoughts of Dylan away.
For a moment it was as if they were both frozen, and yet she could feel a magnetic pull towards him that she fought hard to resist. It crossed her mind that, just possibly, he was feeling it too.
Then the back door opened, and Lennox said, ‘Aye, aye. What’s going on here then?’
‘Shut up, Len!’ Maya sounded cross and Bethany realised Clive had jerked away from her and was on his feet.
She wiped her eyes and turned to face the two teenagers, who were watching them with obvious curiosity and—in Lennox’s case at least—wry amusement.
‘We’ve had some bad news,’ Clive told them gently. ‘That foal we told you about? I’m sad to say he didn’t make it.’
Their faces changed instantly.
‘Aw, no! I’m so sorry,’ Maya said. ‘Poor little Dylan Thomas.’
‘That’s crap,’ Lennox admitted. ‘I hope they find the person who owned him. They want locking up. I’d throw away the key an’ all.’
Maya hurried over to Bethany and put an arm around her shoulders.
‘Are you all right?’ she asked, the concern in her voice almost making Bethany cry again.
She forced a smile. ‘I will be. It’s one of those things we have to get used to, isn’t it? We can’t save them all, as much as we want to.’
But oh, she wished she could! Was that, she wondered with a start, how Joseph had felt? Had seeing what happened to Pepper made him feel as wretched as she now felt? Maybe, for the first time, she could understand why he devoted all his time to saving horses and ponies in need.
What would happen to the residents of Whispering Willows when the sanctuary closed? She was absolutely determined that, however long it took, she would find each and every one of them good homes.
‘I’ve made you a continental breakfast,’ she announced, keen to restore some sense of normality to the morning. ‘I hope you like it.’
‘What’s a continental breakfast when it’s at home?’ Lennox demanded.
Maya nodded at the table. ‘That,’ she said bluntly.
He wrinkled his nose. ‘Are them cakes or summat?’ he asked, eyeing the Danish pastries and croissants suspiciously. ‘For breakfast?’
Maya sighed. ‘You’re such a peasant, Lennox Turner. It will do you good to try something a bit different. I’m up for it anyway. Thanks, Bethany.’
She squeezed Bethany’s shoulder.
‘I’ll put the kettle on, shall I?’
As she moved away to make tea, Lennox settled himself at the table and, after a slight hesitation, reached for a Danish.
Clive gave Bethany a weak smile and she returned it.
‘Sit down,’ she told him. ‘Eat.’
She doubted that he was hungry, though. She certainly seemed to have lost her appetite and, judging by the way he seemed in no hurry to sample any of the food on offer, she thought he was feeling the same.
Was it only down to the loss of the foal?
She had to admit that, for her at least, it was also about the shocking intensity of her feelings when Clive had been sitting with her moments earlier. She’d known she liked him. She liked him a lot. But now…
As he sat opposite her, staring quietly at his plate and picking listlessly at a bagel, she couldn’t help wondering if he’d shared the experience with her, or if she was imagining the whole thing.
It wouldn’t be the first time she’d been wrong about such things after all.