5. Cara
Chapter five
Cara
Our eyes met across the room and Ellis froze midmotion.
I felt my stomach clench. I’d been afraid of this moment for a . Even after I did my utmost to avoid seeing Ellis again for the past thirteen years, including moving to Brightwater and quitting art school, running into him had been a recurring theme in my nightmares.
But it had happened, and now that he was really standing in front of me—not fifty feet away like at the art fair but so close I could almost touch him—my heart rate sped up for an entirely different reason.
Seeing him up close was a sight to behold. No wonder I’d fallen head over heels for him. And he looked even more handsome than thirteen years before. His face looked manlier and his frame more athletic. His hair was shorter and impeccably styled, his gray suit tailor-made, without a doubt. He looked very much the part of a powerful rich business magnate. And at the same time, he still looked like my Ellis. His eyes were the same: dark blue and full of depth and emotion.
An expression I couldn’t quite place flashed on his face before he reined himself in and turned toward Terry and Annette again.
He was talking to them, exchanging platitudes, but I didn’t hear a word because my pulse was rushing so loud in my ears.
I clenched my fists as years and years of pent-up feelings tried to break free. I couldn’t allow myself to wallow in them. Yes, Ellis was my first love, my only love. He was the man who’d given me the greatest gift of my life, my Riley. But he was also the man who might cause me to lose Riley. Even being in the same room with him could be dangerous if the wrong people found out about it.
So I couldn’t allow him coming too close. Keeping my son safe was more important than a crush I had at twenty-one.
Three other men had come with Ellis: a gray-haired engineer, a blond guy with a blue scarf, who introduced himself as an environmental consultant, and a red-haired man with an unpleasant, stern face, who was the legal advisor.
“Let’s get this over with,” Terry said, sounding unusually gruff. “What do you want to look at first? The house?”
The architect shook his head. “No, the house does not interest us. It will be torn down anyway.”
“Let’s go outside and take a look at the land,” Ellis said.
Terry grabbed his jacket. “Fine, lead the way.”
With a nod, Ellis turned around and headed for the door. Before he opened it, his glance brushed over me for a split second. “Will the ladies join us?”
Annette sighed and took Terry’s arm. “Yes, we will.”
My feet felt like lead as I followed the group outside. In the frosty November air, our breaths came out as little white clouds, and the frozen ground crunched under our shoes.
The environmental consultant quickly started bombarding Terry with questions. I stayed back a few steps. Maybe if I remained unobtrusive, I could avoid any complications. Maybe Ellis had no interest in talking to me. I’d left him without a word, after all, ignored his love letters and his pleading voice mails. That must’ve hurt his ego. He was probably still too upset with me to be interested in any kind of small talk.
I held on to that thought as we made our way over the property. The man Ellis had brought made important faces and kept asking questions, and by the look of Terry’s face, he couldn’t answer very many of them. Annette’s face remained an unmoving mask, not unfriendly, just sad.
As upsetting as the situation was, I found myself looking at Ellis way too often. My memory had faded a little over the years, but seeing him again had reminded me how attractive he was. He just oozed charisma and strength without even trying. I bet all those high-society women were all over him. He must have been the most desirable bachelor in the entire Pacific Northwest.
If he even was still a bachelor. Probably not. He could have any woman he wanted, with his looks and riches. Surely, someone had already snatched him up.
The thought had never really crossed my mind until that moment, but I couldn’t help but wonder if Riley had some half-sibling already. Without a doubt, Carlisle Benton had pushed Ellis to produce an heir to his tech empire. A proper heir—not my son, who had the blemish of being born by a no-name, no-money, no-pedigree art student.
The thought of Ellis married with kids to some posh woman he met at Cambridge dampened my romantic memories of him enough to make me feel like I was out of the danger zone. But then he threw a quick glance over his shoulder.
Our eyes met, and I felt another emotional earthquake, starting in my heart, going all the way to my fingertips and toes.
I slowed my steps to bring a little more distance between us. Annette looked so somber that I wished I could catch up with her to comfort her, but that would also mean being closer—way too close—to Ellis, so I didn’t.
Instead, I tagged along like the family dog, catching a few shreds of conversation here and there, but mostly understanding very little of what was going on.
Finally, the tour was coming to an end, and the group returned to the house.
The engineer wanted to look at some paperwork, and Terry offered to take them upstairs to his office.
I remained outside, breathing a sigh of relief as soon as Ellis disappeared through the door.
So far, so good. Not a single word was exchanged between Ellis and me. And not talking also meant no chance that I accidentally blurt out, “Oh, by the way. You’re my son’s father. Good to see you again.”
I considered running away, jumping in my car, and driving back to the safety of the Sunset Apartments before anything catastrophic could happen, but I’d come to support Terry and Annette, and so far, I’d done a miserable job of it. The least I could do was hang around until these four riders of the apocalypse were done and provide some emotional support afterward.
Leaning against the fence of a horse paddock, I wiped my clammy, cold fingers against my pants and tried to steady my breathing. It’s alright. Yes, Ellis was there, but as much as him showing up had startled me, his mere presence wasn’t any danger. As long as I kept my mouth shut and Ellis away from Riley, everything would be alright. He would finish his negotiations with Terry, and whatever the outcome, he would be gone by the next day to return to his family estate and his posh fantasy wife and purebred kids, and I could go back to my mundane but safe life with Riley. And no one, especially not Carlisle Benton, would ever find out our paths had crossed again.
One of the horses, Marigold, trotted toward me and nudged me with her soft nose.
I turned around to rub her head in just the spot where she liked it most. Riley loved Atticus, but Marigold was my favorite. She was calm and gentle and a devoted mother to her foals. That year, she’d had a little filly, just as black as she was, that we’d named Ophelia.
I pressed my face against her neck and stroked her soft mane. “Sorry, girl. I don’t have any treats for you.”
“That’s too bad.”
I startled so hard that Marigold jerked her head up and took a step back with a nervous neigh.
Ellis stood in front of me, hands buried in the pockets of his navy-blue winter coat.
“Hello, Cara.” His voice sounded calm, but the corner of his mouth had a hint of tenseness.
Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around my body. “What are you doing here?”
“Horizon Electronics wants to buy this land to build a—”
“Chip factory, yes, I know. But what are you doing here?”
There was a long pause. For what seemed an eternity, he just looked at me. Stared at me, his gaze intense.
“I found out you live here, and I wanted to see you.”
He wanted to see me? I swallowed. A terrible thought found its way into my head. Did he already know? Was that the reason he had come here? To take Riley from me?
Cold fear crept up my spine. He couldn’t know, right? No one but Carlisle Benton and I knew who Riley’s father really was, and Carlisle sure as hell hadn’t told Ellis. Ellis not finding out about Riley had been the entire point of my vanishing act.
No, there was no way Ellis could know, and I had to make sure it stayed that way.
“I don’t want to see you. I thought I made that very clear thirteen years ago.”
I thought I saw a flicker of pain in his eyes, but the rest of his face remained unmoved.
He stepped closer. “I want to know what happened.”
I took a step back. “Nothing happened,” I said with a shrug. “We had a summer fling. You got clingy, so I skipped town.”
I couldn’t believe how callous I sounded. Speaking those words almost hurt a little. Brushing off what we had back then felt wrong, but if it was necessary to protect Riley, I would tell Ellis every lie under the sun.
“My father said he fired you because you stole from him.”
He spoke calmly, but his words felt like a slap to the face.
“Excuse me?” I couldn’t contain my anger. “I did no such thing! Has he lost his marbles?”
A tiny smile tugged at Ellis’s mouth as he nodded slowly. “It sounded very unlike you, so I decided to ask you myself.”
“I did not steal anything. And he did not fire me. I quit.” Maybe it had been closer to a mutual termination, but Ellis didn’t need to know those details. “How did you find me, anyway?”
“I saw the picture of your son in the newspaper on Sunday. The article said you live in Brightwater.”
“So you decided to stalk your ex-girlfriend from over a decade ago?”
“I’m not stalking you,” he said. “Running into you here surprised me as much as you. How are you? Are you married?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“Let’s not be hostile. If this project goes as planned, I will be in town for a while.”
For a while? Oh no, that was not good. “I’m not hostile, I’m just not interested in small talk with my ex. Now, if you don’t mind, I’ll return to the house. I’m cold.”
I tried to stomp away, but he caught my elbow when I passed by.
“I just want to know if you’re happy,” he said. “I cared about you once. I cared about you a lot.”
The warmth of his hand on my arm was seeping through my jacket, making my skin tingle.
He was so close that I could smell his cologne, and the intensity of his gaze paralyzed me.
Being close to him again felt good. Part of me just wanted to spin around, wrap my arms around him, and bury my face in his chest. People say the first cut is the deepest, but was this normal? Should I still feel this way about a man I loved so many years before?
His eyes searched my face. For what, I wasn’t sure, but looking into his blue eyes like that made it impossible to keep up my cold and uncaring facade.
“I’m happy,” I said. My voice sounded strange, even to my own ears. I was happy. It wasn’t the life I’d imagined for myself at twenty, but it was a good life. I had my job, my son, and people who cared about me. “Are you happy?” I asked softly.
I steeled myself to hear all about his amazing English wife who fit so well into his amazing, super-rich life, but Ellis remained silent.
He exhaled, and his gaze left my face and fixed on a spot on the frozen ground below our feet.
“No,” he finally said, and for a moment his calm and collected front slipped away, and his face showed the same sensitive vulnerability that had made me fall in love with him in the first place.
A million unsaid things hung in the air between us, but before I could open my mouth to speak, someone cleared their throat behind us.
It was Annette.
As soon as I noticed her presence, I jumped away from Ellis, and he morphed back into his smooth business-tycoon persona within a split second.
“Mrs. Spencer. Do you have questions?”
“I need to go feed the horses, but your employees are still in the office with my husband. Why don’t you join them?”
From the tone of her voice, that was clearly not a suggestion.
Ellis nodded. “Of course.”
He walked away from us without looking back at me.
I didn’t want to tell on myself in front of Annette, but I couldn’t help but stare after him. My heart was still racing, and my hands were shaky.
“Are you okay, sweetheart?” Annette asked. “You look rattled. He didn’t harass you or anything?”
I quickly shook my head. “No! No, I’m fine. It’s fine. We just… talked.”
She frowned. “Do you know this man?”
Careful now. I hated lying to Annette, but even she couldn’t know my secret, so I needed to find a plausible explanation without giving away too much.
“Not really,” I said, doing my best to sound casual. “We met him on Sunday at Riley’s contest. He was one of the judges. He recognized me and… congratulated me again. That’s all.”
Annette’s brows furrowed, and her eyes squinted suspiciously.
“That’s all?” she asked. “You’re not in any trouble, are you? You know you can talk to me about anything.”
“No, I’m not in any trouble,” I said, my voice a pitch higher than usual. “It’s fine. Everything is fine. I promise.”
I could tell she was seeing right through me, but thankfully, she didn’t push for more information.
“Are you coming inside?” she asked.
“Soon. I want to enjoy the… fresh air for a few minutes.”
The truth was that I needed a few minutes to myself to process things. Annette seemed to understand, because she didn’t insist that I follow her back into the house.
As soon as she turned around, I headed for the main stable.
The musky smell and the symphony of neighs and snorts and hooves shuffling in the straw never failed to calm me down, and I hoped it would work this time as well.
I strolled past the stalls, patting a few necks and rubbing a few heads while trying to make heads or tails out of this entire situation, but all I could think about was Ellis, and every attempt to analyze the problem from a rational point of view just ended with my heart racing like I was some lovestruck college girl again.
I was so deep in thought that I almost collided with Wyatt, who came out of the tack room, carrying a heavy western saddle in his arms.
“Oh, sorry. I didn’t realize you were here too,” I apologized. “Do you need help with the horses by any chance? I need something to take my mind of things.”
Wyatt nodded grimly. “I know exactly how you feel.”
For a moment, I was confused before I realized he was talking about his father potentially selling the ranch, not my love life.
“This must be a difficult situation for you,” I said.
“Not just difficult. Unacceptable.” He put the saddle on a stand and started attacking it with an oiled cloth.
“Is there really nothing we can do?”
“There’s always something you can do,” Wyatt grunted, rubbing the leather angrily. “My father is just too complacent, so he chose the easiest way out.”
“I don’t think this is entirely fair, Wy. Your dad is just as upset about having to do this as you are.”
Wyatt stopped what he was doing and looked at me with a frown. “Has he said that? Have you talked about this with him? Because all our conversations about the matter end in screaming matches.”
It was hard to imagine gentle Terry in a screaming match, but I understood why this was a hot topic for the two of them.
“A bit, and he’s very… desperate.”
Wyatt rubbed his chin in the same manner his father often did. “Maybe he’ll listen to you,” he said. “You need to try to talk him out of it.”
I sighed. “Wyatt, I would if I could. I don’t want this to happen either. I love this ranch.” And I also didn’t want my secret baby daddy to hang around my town longer than necessary. “But I think your parents have a lot of debts, and no amount of sweet talking will make those go away.”
“I will get the money,” he said. “I’ve already come up with a plan. I just need those Horizon people to go away, to buy myself some more time.”
I leaned against a wall and looked at Wyatt, wondering if he really had a plan. Had he found a way to solve his parents’ financial struggles? If he had, he’d obviously failed to convince Annette and Terry, but he looked very determined. And sometimes, young people were better at coming up with out-of-the-box solutions. Maybe Wyatt had a point.
“We need to stop this deal,” Wyatt said.
“We?”
“You said it yourself. You don’t want this to happen either. And it surely would break Riley’s heart.”
“Let’s keep Riley out if this, okay?”
He shrugged. “Okay, fine. But will you help me?”
I crossed my arms, still not entirely convinced. “How? What do you want me to do?”
“Talk my parents out of this? Assassinate this pompous Horizon ass?”
I assumed the pompous Horizon ass was Ellis. I thought about it for a moment. Did I still have enough influence over Ellis to convince him to stop this project somehow? That was a dangerous game because I would have to get close to him, too close for my comfort, but both Wyatt and I would win if I managed to talk Ellis out of buying the land. Wyatt would get his chance to save the ranch, and I would get Ellis out of Brightwater quicker.
“I’ll see what I can do,” I finally said. “Not about the assassination, but if there is a way to stop this, I want to help you.”