11. Ellis
Chapter eleven
Ellis
The door fell shut behind me, and I stood outside Cara’s apartment in the freezing cold like an abandoned dog.
The icy wind was blowing in my face, but it was doing nothing to cool my heated thoughts. Cara. I had kissed Cara. Finally, after years and years of dreaming and longing. But that wasn’t the thought that was running circles in my mind. The boy, her son …
Shell-shocked, I walked back to my car and climbed in, and as if on autopilot, I drove back to my hotel. Thankfully, Brightwater didn’t have a lot of traffic that late at night, because I was in no state to deal with any kind of advanced driving maneuvers.
When I arrived at the Cascadia Bed and Breakfast, I walked past the owner without a word, ignoring her friendly greeting, retreating right back to my room. The room looked just as I’d left it on Friday, but somehow, everything else around me had shifted.
I sat down on the bed, rubbed my eyes, and tried to catch up to my racing thoughts. I’d nearly ended up in bed with Cara. On any other day, that would’ve been a tremendous development in my life, but this wasn’t any other day.
Because today, I had met my son.
Maybe jumping to conclusions was silly, but I’d never been more certain about anything in my life. That boy standing in the doorway was my son. Cara’s child was mine. Burying my head in my hands, I tried to make sense of that thought. I had a son. I had a son with the woman who—without a doubt—was and always would be the love of my life.
I had a family, and I had missed over a decade of their lives.
A hint of anger seeped through the feeling of paralyzing shock. How could Cara do this to me? How could she lie to me about something that important? I was his father; I had rights!
That was so unlike Cara. What could possibly have made her decide to keep my child from me? Was it something I had done? Was it about who I was ? Her disdain for the kind of life I lived had been clearer than ever in the car. Maybe she didn’t want her child to be raised by someone like me. Wanted to keep him away from the toxic lifestyle of the rich and famous. I’d always complained to her about how empty it felt, how superficial all my relationships were. Liked by many but close to no one, not even my own father. Maybe Cara didn’t want that kind of life. But surely, we would have raised him differently than I’d been raised. I would’ve tried my hardest to be a good father if she’d given me the chance. And I could’ve provided for them. They wouldn’t have to live in this ramshackle motel if she’d allowed me to be part of her life. I really tried to understand the decision she made, but I couldn’t. The life I could’ve offered her wasn’t that bad, was it?
I desperately needed someone to talk to, so I dialed my sister’s number.
Harper didn’t pick up the phone for several moments, and when she did, her voice sounded like I’d woken her up from deep sleep. “This better be an emergency.”
“It kind of is.”
“Kind of?” she said, annoyed. “Not good enough. You know, unlike you, I value my beauty sleep.”
“It’s about Cara,” I simply said.
“Aha! I’m all ears. Has she told you off again, or did you make some headway in your mission of reconquest?”
“I… Yes, I did. We kissed, but that’s not the important part.”
“That’s not the important part?”
I took a deep breath. “Harper, I think Cara’s son is mine.”
I’d expected laughter or screaming or at least confused irritation, but there was just a long silence on the other end of the line.
“Say something, please.”
She exhaled. “How sure are you about this?”
“Very sure.”
“Based on what?”
“He’s just… He looks exactly like me.”
“That’s all?”
“She said his father isn’t in the picture.”
“Doesn’t mean it’s you.”
“The age adds up too.”
“Does it? Cara told me he’s eleven. That would put his conception at least a year after you two broke up.”
“The newspaper said he’s in seventh grade. He might well be twelve.”
“So you think Cara lied?”
I swallowed. “If she lied to me about his existence, then it’s more than likely she would continue lying to keep up the front.”
“But… why would she? What advantage would she gain by keeping this from you? Just think about the child support payments she’s missing out on.”
“Cara is not a gold digger. She does not care about money.”
“It still doesn’t make sense to me. Do you think it might have something to do with her sudden disappearance?”
“Yes, I think it might.”
Harper went quiet again. “Do you think it has something to do with Dad?”
Anger bubbled up inside me again, but this time, I wasn’t angry with Cara. If my father had anything to do with this …
Harper continued that line of thought. “Maybe he bribed her to keep the baby a secret. Sounds like something he would do, don’t you think? Maybe he didn’t want an illegitimate Benton running around, so he threw some hush money at the problem.”
I shook my head. “No way. I told you Cara is not like that. She would never accept hush money .”
Harper hummed thoughtfully. “Maybe he… Maybe he threatened her.”
“Threatened? With what?”
“I have no idea, but you know how ruthless our father is.”
“You make him sound like a mafia boss,” I said. “I know he can be… pragmatic, but he wouldn’t harm Cara or my child. We’re talking about his grandson, after all.”
“I’m just brainstorming here. We’re not even one-hundred-percent sure that’s really your kid.”
“I’m telling you he is.”
“Based on your gut feeling? Maybe it’s just wishful thinking,” she said. “Maybe you just want that boy to be yours so you can have a happy family with her?”
“I would want her either way. That’s not it. Trust me, Harper, I just know. I feel it.”
“Still. Before you do anything about it, you need a little more information than your hunch.”
“What? Like a secret DNA test? I don’t think I can get close—”
“No, silly, not a secret DNA test.” Harper laughed. “You watch too many crime shows. No, I meant something more along the lines of asking her.”
“Why would she tell me the truth after trying to keep him a secret for thirteen years?”
“It’s worth a try. Just use your good old Ellis charm.”
I sat in silence for a moment, trying to imagine that conversation. “Hey, Cara, did you hide my baby from me for years?”
Somehow, I was certain the direct approach my sister was suggesting was not going to work, Ellis charm or not. Cara must have had an important reason to hide this giant secret from me, and that reason would not be charmed away. If I wanted to know more, I needed to dig deeper in a more discreet way.