18. Ellis
Chapter eighteen
Ellis
My mind was still hazy when I returned to my hotel that evening. The owner must’ve thought me the rudest person in the world because I stumbled past her once again without responding to her friendly smile and welcoming words.
I hadn’t planned for this date to escalate like that. All I wanted was to spend more time with Cara and to maybe get a glimpse or two at my son.
Every bit of progress I’d made with Cara was destroyed, but at least the truth was on the table.
My gut feeling had been spot on. Riley really was my son.
No matter how sure I’d been before, hearing the words from Cara had a whole other impact.
My chest tightened every time I replayed the conversation in my head. You are Riley’s father.
I was happy and angry and sad all at the same time. But mostly sad—sad about missing twelve years of his life. That was not how I’d wanted to become a father. I wanted ultrasound pictures and putting my hand on Cara’s belly to feel little flutter kicks. I wanted the first scream and the first smile and the first steps. I even yearned for dirty diapers and sleepless nights. The thought that I’d missed all his important moments was heart-wrenching, but that would change now, even if it would make Cara unhappy, even if I had to fight my way into Riley’s life. He was my child too. I had rights.
But no matter what I did, I had no way to get those lost moments back, the big and small moments that made a father a dad. I clenched my fists in frustration because everything was so unfair.
Cara was the love of my life, and she would always be the love of my life, but I couldn’t help feeling angry with her for taking this from me. She’d been outright terrified when I brought the topic up. I still didn’t understand why, and until she fessed up the truth of what had really happened, she was the only person I could be angry with.
Until she gave me a proper explanation, I could not and would not adhere to her wishes. I would fight for my family and for my son, doing everything in my power to gain a place in their life.
With grim determination, I whipped out my phone. A part of me wanted to call my lawyer straight away, but the thought of facing Cara, my Cara, in court and spending the next few months if not years entrenched in a dirty custody battle instead of building a relationship with Riley made my stomach clench. I wanted to try a more gentle approach first, so I called my personal assistant, Theo.
As usual, he answered in only seconds. “Hey, boss. I’m glad you’re still alive. I was afraid you got lost in the woods or maybe killed and eaten by some natives.”
“They’re Oregonians, not Amazonians, Theo.”
“Makes no difference. You never know with these primitive cultures.”
“Theo!”
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Anyway, what can I do for you?”
“I need you to go Christmas shopping for me.”
“I already bought all the presents for the usual suspects. Do you want to add someone else to the list?”
“A twelve-year-old boy and a thirty-three-year-old woman.”
“If you want me to pick a good gift, I’ll need a little more than that, Ellis.”
I searched my brain, trying to remember everything Cara had told me about Riley and, of course, the things he had told me himself. “The boy likes horses and painting and video games,” I said.
“Video games? How about the new PocketQuest 4?”
“That gaming console we produce?”
“That’s right. Came out just two weeks ago. Larger screen than the PocketQuest 3 and a bunch of cutting-edge tech. It’s a handheld, but you can connect it to a TV. It’s pretty cool. I got one for my nephew, and my sister hates me now because she needs a crowbar to pry him away from that thing.”
“Perfect, yes. Get that one.”
“Games, too? Or does he have games? It’s backward compatible.”
Riley probably already owned some games, but I decided it was better to err on the side of caution. “Yes, buy games too. Lots of them.”
“Got it, boss. What about the woman?”
“She’s a photographer. And she likes art and painting.”
“So, some original art piece? Horizon recently sponsored an exhibition in Seattle. I can contact some of the artists.”
I tried to imagine a big, fancy art piece in Cara’s tiny apartment. “No. I don’t think she’s the type for that. Other suggestions?”
“A new camera?”
“Do we produce cameras too?”
“We do, boss.”
“Get the best one we have. And get all the equipment and accessories that come with it too.”
“Where do you want all that stuff delivered to? Do you have an address?”
“Just bring everything to my hotel, Cascadia Bed and Breakfast. I’ll drop the presents off myself.”
“Okay, boss. See you tomorrow.”
Theo arrived in the wee hours of the morning with two big bags full of presents he’d already wrapped in Christmas wrapping paper.
How he managed to pull that off so quickly, I had no idea. It was just one of Theo’s many talents.
“Is there anything else you need?” he asked after dropping off the bags in my hotel room.
“No, this is all for now.”
Theo was standing at the door, but he seemed reluctant to leave. His face looked like he had something to say, but didn’t dare to speak up.
I sighed. “Spit it out.”
“Hmm?”
“I can see you want to tell me something. Whatever it is, just tell me.”
Theo pursed his lips. “Listen, boss. It’s not my place to tell you how to do your job. If we want to play Santa Claus for the local population, be my guest. I’ll bring you all the fancy tech the residents of Backwater could possibly want.”
“Brightwater,” I corrected with a warning look.
“Whatever. I just wanted to warn you that your father is getting a tiny bit restless because you still haven’t sealed the deal with that rancher.”
“A tiny bit, hmm?”
“He made his secretary cry yesterday. Just because she told him you didn’t answer the mail she sent you. And you know Mandy is a tough cookie. She does not cry easily.”
I shrugged. “Some things can’t be hurried. My father will have to be patient.”
“Fine. You do you. I just wanted to give you a heads-up.”
“I appreciate it, Theo.”
“I’ll head back to Stenton now. No idea how you haven’t lost your marbles yet. This place is like one of these little snow globe villages. But on tranquilizers.”
“I actually like it here. It’s a nice change of pace,” I said. “Thank you for the quick delivery. Safe travels.”
I left my hotel room shortly after Theo and headed to Cara’s photo studio, assuming that would be where I would find her early in the afternoon on a Monday.
When I got there, the door was closed. I called out for her and tried to catch a glimpse of the inside of the studio through the windows, but as far as I could tell, she wasn’t there.
Maybe she’d ended the day early, so I climbed back into my car and made the short drive to the Sunset Apartments.
The place looked even shabbier in broad daylight. It was a shame my son had to grow up there. Cara was doing the best she could, and I was sure she was a fantastic mother, but that tiny apartment was way too small for two people. Maybe I could convince her to let me rent a house for them. Or at least a bigger apartment.
I parked my car and knocked on the door I knew was theirs.
I heard someone approaching, but it wasn’t Cara who opened it. It was Riley.
He looked at me with a frown as he recognized me. “Hi, Ellis.”
Once again, I was stunned at how much Riley looked like me. The blue eyes that looked back at me were the same eyes I saw every day in the mirror, and I couldn’t help but wonder what else he’d inherited from me beyond the looks—and, of course, the tone deafness and the lactose intolerance.
After a second, I regained my composure. “Hello, Riley. I’m looking for your mother.”
“She’s working. A wedding, I think, somewhere in Lakeview.”
“I thought she doesn’t like leaving you alone at home?”
“She doesn’t, but we need the money from that wedding shoot. I had to promise to call her once an hour, though. It’s so annoying. She treats me like a baby. Anyway… what’s in those bags?”
I held them up for him to see. “Christmas presents. For your mom and you,” I explained with a smile.
His eyebrows rose. “You bought us presents after Mom bailed on you during your date?”
Oof. Kids could be brutally honest. And apparently, he was smart enough to notice that something unexpected had happened. How much did Cara tell him? I cleared my throat. “It’s complicated.”
He nodded with a serious look on his face. “Yeah, I know. This love stuff always is.”
I couldn’t help but smile. Cara had been right. He was very mature for his age.
“Can I drop the presents off?”
“Sure, why not?”
I put down the bags and took the wrapped-up boxes out to hand them to Riley. “The ones with the gold-and-white paper are for your mom,” I explained. “The blue-and-silver ones are for you.”
Riley stacked the boxes next to the door, but he hesitated with one of the blue-and-silver boxes, thoughtfully weighing it in his hands.
“It’s heavy,” he said with an excited gleam in his eyes. “Do I get any hints about what’s in there?”
I was torn between not ruining the surprise and wanting to prolong the alone time with my son. “Your mom told me you’re into video games, so I got you a new console. The company I work for produces them. It’s called the PocketQuest. PocketQuest 4, I think.”
Riley’s eyes went wide. “No way!”
“I’m not well versed when it comes to video games. Is it a good console?”
“It’s the best! This is perfect. Thank you, Ellis! Now I only need to convince Mom to buy Mystimon for me.”
“Mystimon?”
“It’s a game. You tame monsters and make them fight. It’s super cool.”
“The smaller boxes have games inside. Maybe you’ll find it among them.”
He looked at me, confused. “You don’t know what’s in them?”
“Like I said, I know next to nothing about video games, so I asked my… a friend to help me pick them out.” I wasn’t sure how Riley would react to me having a personal assistant, and I didn’t want him to think me weird or snobbish, so I skipped the details about Theo.
Riley bit his lip, looking uncertain. “Do you mind if I open my presents right away?”
“Christmas is still over a week away, Riley.”
“Yes, but you won’t be here for Christmas Eve. If we do it now, we can open them together. Come in. I can make you a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich if you’re hungry.”
Before I could say anything, Riley grabbed my sleeve and pulled me inside.
I hesitated for a moment. Cara surely wouldn’t like this, but Cara wasn’t there. And I wasn’t pushing myself on Riley. He’d invited me.
Riley carried his boxes over to the couch and dropped them in a large pile. His face was pure excitement, and the promise of sandwiches was already forgotten.
“Can I open them now?” he asked. “Do you want to reuse the wrapping paper? I can be careful if you still need it.”
I smiled. “No, it’s fine. Tear in.”
Riley didn’t have to be asked twice. He tore the wrapping paper off the largest present in record time and revealed a white box with an image of a sleek, dark-blue gaming console.
In awe, he traced the words PocketQuest 4 printed on the box, with his finger. “Wow. No one in my class has one. I’ll be the first. That’s so cool. I can’t wait to tell Parker.”
“My friend told me you can hook it up to the TV.”
“Yes, you can!” Riley confirmed with an excited nod. “I know how to set it up. Do you want to see?”
“Absolutely.”
It only took him a few minutes to unpack the console and connect it to the TV. He turned it on, and a few seconds later, the Horizon logo flashed across the screen.
“Okay, now we need to find the game. Help me unwrap.”
Riley pushed half the stack of presents over to me, so I followed his example and started tearing off the paper. The first one had a small rectangular box with some kind of karate fighter on the front. The next one showed a car. After that, I found one that had a cartoon knight on the cover.
“I found it!” Riley yelled. He held up a box showing three colorful cartoon monsters in front of a sunrise. “ Mystimons !” With a wide grin, Riley opened the box, took out a little plastic cartridge, and shoved it into the console.
Tapping his foot nervously, he picked up the controller. Watching him beaming with joy was incredibly satisfying. I might not have picked out the presents myself, but I’d made him happy, and that was what counted. I would read up on these Mystimons and whatever else he liked to play as soon as possible so that I could talk to him about it and maybe even play with him.
Cheerful electronic music sounded from the TV as several of those monsters on the box ran, flew, and hopped across the screen.
I tried to follow along as Riley started a new game and created a new character, looking like a little cartoon version of himself, and soon enough, cartoon Riley was running through a lush green video game forest, on the hunt for Mystimons.
“There’s a Tarimon,” he explained when a squirrel-like creature appeared on the screen.
“It’s cute.”
“Yeah, it is, but it’s pretty weak. It will do for now, but I’m trying to catch a Ponimon.”
“Ponimon?”
“It’s my favorite. It looks a bit like a horse.”
“Your mother told me you like horses.”
“I do, yeah,” he said, his eyes fixed on the screen, while his fingers jumped all over the controller. “Some boys in my school say horses are for girls, but I think that’s a bunch of bullshit. Most cowboys are men.”
“True. Many competitive riders are men too.”
“Do you like horses?” he asked me.
“I do,” I said. “Although I think I’ll stay away from riding after that little mishap your mother and I had on our trail ride.”
Riley nodded with a frown. “Annette was super worried about you two. She said you shouldn’t have ridden that far away from the ranch.”
“We probably shouldn’t have, but your mother wanted to show me some waterfalls.”
Riley glanced over. “The waterfall, yeah, those are really cool. Ah, damn, a Sabermon. That’s too strong for me. I need to run away.” The electronic music from the console got more dramatic, and Riley urgently mashed some buttons before he leaned back with a sigh. “Phew, that was close.”
“So, you’ve been to these waterfalls?”
“We go there at least once a year. For a picnic. It’s a bit of a tradition. Last year, I discovered the most amazing cave. It’s right next to the waterfall, but the entrance is pretty low and covered with weeds, so it’s easy to miss. I only explored the entrance so far, but next year, I’ll go in deeper.”
“Sounds like it’s worth a visit.”
He nodded. “You should try again. But maybe wait until it’s summer.”
Riley returned his attention to the screen, and I quietly sat next to him and watched him play, trying to follow his explanation about which monsters were strong and which skills to use. Just after Riley found his first egg—a blue one with golden spots, which he told me was a rare color—he put the controller down for the first time.
“I almost forgot I offered you sandwiches,” he said. “I’m hungry. Should I make them now?”
“Absolutely. Do you need any help?”
“No, I do that all the time. Mom sometimes works weird hours, so I often make food for myself. Just wait here.”
He got busy in the kitchen, and a few minutes later, he returned with two plates and put them down on the couch table.
“Just don’t get the couch dirty,” Riley said. “Mom sleeps on it at night.”
“Does it bother you that your apartment is so small?” I asked carefully.
He took a bite of his sandwich and shrugged. “I have my own room, and that’s big enough for all my stuff, so I don’t really mind, but it kinda sucks for my mom. I don’t like that she has to sleep on the couch. And she could use a proper desk for work, too.”
“I see.”
“She works really hard, but we still don’t have that much money,” Riley said. “She makes it work, though. We’re not poor or anything.” He frowned. “At least, I don’t feel poor.”
“Your mother is an impressive woman.”
“She’s cool as far as moms go.”
After a moment of quiet, Riley put his sandwich on his plate and looked at me. “Can I ask you something, Ellis?”
“Sure.”
He shoved a few crumbs around before continuing to speak. “What happened between you and Mom? She seemed to like you. She introduced you to me, after all, and she never did that with any of the other guys she dated before.”
I took a deep breath. For a moment, I considered telling him the truth, but my gut feeling told me Cara would never forgive me for that. In a way, I understood. It was her secret to tell. So what answer could I give Riley?
“Do you know that your mother and I go way back? That we met many years ago?”
He looked surprised. “I thought you met at that art fair in Stenton?”
“We met many years ago when we were both a lot younger, and we were… friends back then.”
“You dated,” Riley corrected me with an eye roll. “I’m not a toddler. I know what dating is.”
I laughed. “Yes, you’re right. We dated. But things didn’t work out between us, and I think your mother is still… angry with me for the things that happened between us.”
He frowned and suddenly looked at me suspiciously. “What did you do?”
“Nothing,” I said. “And that was the problem, I think. I wasn’t there for her when she needed me, and I think she’s still upset about that.”
“Why weren’t you?”
“Because I didn’t know she needed my help. I was in England at the time.”
“Then how can she be angry with you? If you didn’t even know about it?”
I sighed. “Like I said, it’s complicated.” It was probably better to stop talking before I revealed too much.
Riley slumped back onto the couch with a huff. “Why do adults always say that?”
Before I could answer, a noise from the door announced Cara’s arrival.
I tensed, but she was so busy balancing her photography equipment that she didn’t notice me sitting on her couch.
Riley put his plate down. He exchanged a worried glance with me but tried to sound cheerful. “Hey Mom, look who’s here.”
Cara put her bags down, and for a moment, she just looked at me with wide eyes. I braced myself for impact, but her reaction was even worse than I’d imagined.
Her face moved from surprise to anger within a split second.
“What are you doing here?” she barked. “I told you to stay away from us.”
Riley jumped to my aid. “Mom, it’s okay. He brought us presents. Yours are over there.” He gestured towards the pile of presents next to the door. “And he got me a PocketQuest 4. How cool is that?”
Cara was seething. She stomped over to the TV and pulled the console’s plug.
“Mom! I hadn’t saved yet!” Riley protested.
“I don’t care. You are not keeping this thing.”
“What? Why?”
Cara gathered the console and the games strewn across the table and pushed them into my arms. “Here, take this. We don’t want presents from you. We don’t need your alms.”
Riley jumped up, trying to stop her. “These are my gifts!” he yelled. “You can’t just give them back. They’re mine. It’s my decision!”
“No, it’s not,” Cara huffed. “Why are you letting strangers into our apartment, anyway? I thought I taught you better than this.”
“He’s not a stranger. He’s our friend.”
Cara froze at her son’s words. She looked at me, but her eyes were cold, and her jaw was tense. “No, he’s not. Ellis, leave now.”
I was not a man who got angry quickly, but seeing Riley upset and Cara this callous did the trick.
“You can’t order me to stay away, Cara. He’s—”
She took a step toward me. “One more word, and I will call the police.”
Riley looked at his mother in horror. “What the hell, Mom?”
I shook my head, trying to regain some composure. “It does not have to be this way. We can work something out.”
She swallowed hard, and I could sense a lot of fear mixed in with her anger. If only she would tell me what she was so scared of—but for the moment, retreat seemed to be the only option.
I gathered the PocketQuest and the games in my arms and turned to Riley. “I’ll keep this safe until you can have it back. Goodbye, Riley.”
“Bye,” he said with a strained voice and a deathly glance toward his mother. “Hope to see you soon.”
“You will,” I promised.
Cara shut the door behind me—once again.