15. Jax
Chapter 15
Jax
Me: Hey, hot stuff. I miss seeing your beautiful face around here.
Me: You work too hard.
Me: I hope you’ve eaten the lunch I left out for you.
Helen: Some of us are working. Shouldn’t you be sleeping?
Me: Can’t. The house is too quiet.
Helen: Feel free to move back to the hotel if you need more noise *winking face emoji*
Me: Ouch. You wound me.
Me: You’ll have to kiss it better when I see you.
Helen: That could be arranged.
Me: *Blushing face emoji* Get back to work and stop propositioning me. What would Thomas say?
Helen: You’re such a bad influence. Be safe out there tonight.
Me: Always, beautiful.
I put down my phone, unable to hide the grin from my face. Helen and I had been flirting with texts all week and leaving each other little notes around the house. I’d avoided relationships my whole adult life, but being around Helen made me crave more of her, and I couldn’t wait for Saturday.
Just then, my phone beeped again.
Jasper: I’ve got a couple of hours off work and Mum said you were on nights. You want to hit the beach for a run?
Me: I could probably manage 10K before I pass out, as long you don’t run like an old man these days.
Jasper: You wish. See you in 15
Me: Make sure you stretch. Don’t want you to sprain something.
“Fuck, I needed this. Thanks, man,” Jasper said between ragged breaths. It was a stunning day; blue skies, a calm sea, a warm breeze in the air and we ran along the wet sand, nodding to the dog walkers as we passed.
“You okay?” I turned to look at my friend, slowing my pace slightly.
Jasper stopped, bending and bracing his hands on his thighs while he stared out to sea. I took my cap off, wiping my forehead as I waited for him to answer.
“Work offered me a promotion.” He stood, walking slowly away from me.
“That’s great, right?” He didn’t reply. “God, I don’t even know what you do. Something to do with marine life, I think your mum said.”
“Marine conservation. I specialise in how weather affects migration and breeding.”
“Wow.” I stared at my friend for a moment; the boy who hated school, struggled to focus and was constantly getting into trouble.
“I know what you’re thinking… how the hell did I manage to get a degree? A lot changed when you left.” He shook his head. “Sorry, that made it sound like you made me be a dick at school. That's not what I meant. It was just when you left, I lost a bit of my… well, Mum would say I lost my cheekiness, but I think I lost a bit of my zest for life. I just…”
He let his head fall back as he stared up at the sky. “Jesus, I sound like I was in love with you or something.” Then he lowered his gaze and let out a sigh. “I guess I was. As a friend, I mean. You were my world and then you were gone. It changed me, it changed my behaviour. I withdrew into myself a bit. I was scared of making more friends who just vanished. Mum got me into scuba diving and I loved it. Alright, there isn’t much to see if you dive round here, but over the years, her and Dad took us to different places. I was hooked and managed to make a career out of it.”
“Where’s the job?” I asked, trying to ignore how much hearing about his pain broke my heart.
“Ecuador.”
“Shit,” I gasped as I put my cap back on to keep the sun from my tired eyes.
He ran his fingers through his hair. “I know. It’s a million miles away, but Jax, it’s the chance of a lifetime. Five-year contract, a huge research budget, a team of staff to help me. They’re offering to pay for my rent, all my utilities, and have doubled the salary I’m currently on. I published a paper in a pretty influential journal last year and apparently, they were impressed.”
“That’s amazing.”
He pointed to the sand, and I nodded before we both sat, bringing our knees up to our chests, mirroring each other like we hadn’t spent the last sixteen years apart.
“Yeah.” He didn’t sound convinced.
“It’s not?”
“How do I just leave? I’ve lived here my whole life. I only went thirty miles down the road to uni. Mum’s newly divorced. Cal and Conner need me. Dad’s more than useless since he met his new woman, and then there’s…”
“Astrid Strickland?” I asked.
He dropped his forehead to his knees for a moment before looking back at me with sad eyes. “No… I mean, I’ve not heard a word from her since she left. Remember when I saw you and Mum the other day and I told her I was going away with work?”
I nodded.
“I went to London to see her. I wanted to tell her how much I missed her and how I couldn’t get her out of my head, even after all this time.”
“And?” I asked, almost scared to hear the answer.
“She wouldn’t see me. Told the bodyguard to tell me that she had no idea who I was.”
I wrapped my arm around my friend, and he rested his head on my shoulder. “Can I really leave the country, Jax? Walk away from my life for something so unknown and build something I love?”
“Yes,” I replied without pausing.
He lifted his head, leaning away from me slightly, so I dropped my arm. “Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean anything… God, I feel like everything I say is having a dig at you. I’m not, I promise. I just really needed some advice from a friend.”
I smiled. “I know, and for what it’s worth, you can build a life somewhere new. It will be hard and feel strange for a while, but you can do it. And you get to do something you love while you’re there.”
“That’s true, but Mum… the boys.”
“Are grown adults. They’ll be fine.”
Jasper turned his attention to the waves again, seemingly drawn to them just like his mum was. “And her? Halle… Astrid? Whoever she was to me.”
“Mate, she made her choice. She walked away. She’s not been in touch and she pretended she didn’t know you. You deserve so much more. One day she’ll realise what a mistake she made giving you up and by then, you will be hooked up with someone who adores you.”
“I think I love her.”
“But she’s not right for you. Not if she walked away. Look, staying here would be easier than taking the job. You have a life you love that is familiar, but this is a whole new adventure.”
“I don’t love it. My life, I mean. I don’t love it. I feel like I’ve been stuck for so long. It’s like fucking Groundhog Day and I think that’s why I loved meeting Halle so much. She shook things up and gave me a whole new path to walk.”
“I believe things in life happen to teach us things. Even when they are shitty and painful. She was obviously meant to show you that there were different paths out there for you to take. You want to live the same day over and over or do you want to go research sea stuff I don’t understand and trample a whole new path?”
Jasper stood, holding out his hand to help me up. “Sorry, I’ve kept you way longer than you said you could do. You must be knackered.”
I nudged him as we started walking back the way we’d come. “I’ll live. So, you're moving to Ecuador?”
He let out a sigh as if he were coming to a decision. “Looks like I am. I’m going to call them when I get back home and then I have to be there in three months.” He turned, walking backward, looking more animated than I’d seen him since I moved back to town. “Shit, I’m moving to Ecuador. For five years.” His brows furrowed. “But you just came back.”
“Jas, I came back because I hated that I was ripped away from a life I loved and friendships I’ve missed all these years. I wanted to reconnect with you and the fact you called me to talk this through shows me that we’ve reconnected. We can be friends no matter where you live. We can do that, right?”
He stopped, flinging his arms around me. “We can do that. I’m not losing you again, Jax. And if you ever want to talk about why you left, you know I’m here to listen.” Then he let go of me. “Can you not mention the job stuff to Mum just yet?”
“Of course.”
“Right, last one back buys lunch.”