21. Flynn
21
FLYNN
Pretty damn perfect except my two best friends think I can’t even look after a puppy.
I pick up my sandwich and take a huge bite.
Thankfully that seems to be the end of the discussion about my lack of responsibilities, and about puppies.
It’s a ridiculous notion, me being responsible for another life. I can’t even make a relationship with a person work. But a dog running around with me all day sounds great.
I love Katie and Olivia. We’ve been best friends for years, but now Katie is with Dallas and Olivia has stepped up to fill Henry’s really big shoes, things aren’t the same. They’re busy and they’re moving forward with their lives.
Meanwhile, I’m still in the same place I’ve always been.
Olivia turns the conversation towards the wedding and I feel Abi stiffen beside me.
“It’s all going to plan,” Abi says, lying through her teeth. She plasters on a completely fake smile. I don’t know how I know it’s fake, but I think it’s something to do with the way the corners of her eyes aren’t crinkling.
“I’m so sorry I can’t help this afternoon,” Olivia says, but Abi waves her off.
“It’s fine. I can get most of it done today and you’ll be around if anything comes up tomorrow. It’s completely under control.”
Ha. Yeah, right. Let’s not forget the piles of roses strewn about the old barn that she has to deal with this afternoon.
It makes me a little uneasy to keep the information quiet, mostly because I usually blurt out whatever’s on my mind.
But Abi asked me not to say anything about the flowers, and it’s not like Olivia can actually do anything to help anyway. She’s fully booked this afternoon otherwise she’d be down there already.
I finish my sandwich, then move onto the scones. Abi nibbles at her sandwich and as soon as she’s done she turns to me.
She opens her mouth, but when she notices the two scones still on my plate, she closes it again.
“You ready to go?” I ask her, since she’s going to be polite about me still stuffing my face with food.
“When you are,” she says, but I don’t miss her glancing at the clock on the kitchen wall.
“Let’s go then. Thanks Vi. See you two losers later. Some of us have work to do.” I scoop my scones into one hand, ruffle Katie’s hair with the other and usher Abi out of the room in front of me.
We’re both quiet as we the climb on the bike and we head back down to the function venue, but at least this time when Abi slides on behind me she doesn’t feel a thousand miles away. She slips into place behind me, her chest to my back, arms around my waist, head against my shoulder.
I didn’t need to pull her closer to me earlier, but when she sat so far back to avoid touching me it felt wrong on all kinds of levels. I probably shouldn’t have touched her, like I shouldn’t have dropped my hand to her knee in the middle of Violet’s kitchen, but I’m naturally affectionate, and with Abi the desire to touch her all the time is continuously at the forefront of my mind.
I still can’t believe I turned her down for her friends with benefits idea.
“Thanks, Flynn,” she says quietly as she climbs off the bike as I roll to a stop outside the function centre. “Lunch wasn’t too bad after all.”
“Of course not. I was there.”
Abi rolls her eyes. I flick the bike stand down with my foot, then swing my leg over, coming to stand beside her.
“Show me what to do, Rosie,” I say, my voice uncharacteristically serious. But I want it to be clear I’m not joking around with my offer.
Her brow furrows. “Rosie? Is that because I’m about to die under an avalanche of them?”
“That. And your choice of song.”
She lets out a groan. “I was hoping you hadn’t heard that.”
I chuckle. “Was hard to miss,” I say. What I don’t tell her, is the nickname also relates to the delicious colour her cheeks turn when she’s blushing. “Come on, these roses aren’t going to prepare themselves.” I sling an arm around her shoulders, like I would with Katie or Olivia in this moment. I realise my error when Abigail tenses under me. I’m about to remove my arm when she softens and leans into me. I lead her inside. “Show me what to do.”
“You’re going to stay?” She sounds so … confused.
“Yeah, of course I am. You need help. Helping you is part of my job. Unless you’d rather I call Olivia down here.”
“No!” She spins to face me, leaving my arm to fall limply at my side. “Don’t tell Olivia.”
“Guess you’re stuck with me then.” I shrug.
“Why do you make it sound like such a threat?”
I scrub my hand through my hair and stare down at her. “Because, sometimes you make it feel like one.” She purses her lips, but I continue. “We’re all on the same team here. It’s not you against the rest of us. I know you tend to work alone over this side and that you like to be in control of everything, but you don’t have to be …” I drop my voice. “Around this place we’re a team, a family. It sounds stupid, and totally corny, but it’s true, and every person here wants you to succeed. Sometimes to do that, you need help. You’re allowed to accept it. You’re even allowed to ask for it.”
The tension leaves her face, her pursed lips softening back into their natural pillowy state. I realise I must have stepped forward during my little speech, because she’s right here in front of me, staring up with wide eyes and that mouth, all pink and delicious looking.
Back up, Flynn, I tell myself, as I force a step backwards. I can’t get too close to this girl. This woman .
She isn’t like any of the girls I’ve had my limited experience with. They were all young and stupid, like me.
Abigail is neither of those things. She’s a full grown-up and while she’s a little unsure on how this place works and where she fits, it won’t take her long to catch up.
Then she won’t need me anymore.
Who would need an aimless guy who couldn’t even commit to a job promotion because he was too scared of the responsibilities?
I don’t often let my mind wander in this direction. I didn’t want the farm manager position, so I turned Henry down when he offered it to me almost a year ago. After I declined, he found Dallas to take on the role and that couldn’t have worked out more perfectly.
So, I know that job wasn’t meant for me. If I’d taken it we wouldn’t have Dallas and Sadie here. Katie probably wouldn’t have stuck around.
I’m happy with my choice. I like things the way they are, with me not being in charge.
But if that wasn’t for me … then what is?