23. Hovering is a Love Language
”WHAT DO YOU mean you can”t figure out where they came from?” I struggle to get the question out through clenched teeth. “You got through their proxy and found the VPN they’re using, didn’t you? Set up a man in the middle attack. There’s got to be holes in their browsers somewhere.”
”I’d love to do that, but all the origination sources are gone now. Fucking disappeared into thin air. One second they were there and the instant I got close, they vanished.” Elias sounds just as frustrated as I am, but it doesn”t make me feel any better.
“That’s not fucking possible.” It’s the one constant in what we do. There’s always a trail. It might be fragmented and concealed. Hidden behind firewalls and proxy servers, but it’s always there. “They can’t just disappear.”
Elias sighs. “Two hours ago I would have said the same thing, but I saw it happen with my own fucking eyes. We’re trying to figure out where they went, but we haven’t had any luck.”
”Keep trying. Find out where they are and how in the hell their trails disappeared like that.” Any other outcome is unacceptable. Julieanne is safe, I know that, but it”s only a matter of time before the people connected to her aren”t. At some point, whoever went after her is going to step it up. Because you don”t order an op like that and just quit when it goes sideways.
That means Julieanne’s sons could be in danger. But, unlike I did with Julieanne, I can”t bring them here and lock them down. Some people would argue I shouldn”t have done it with her, but those people better keep their fucking opinions to themselves.
”That”s what I”m trying to tell you, Vincent. There”s nothing left to try. They’re fucking gone. I can”t make them magically reappear.” Elias has the balls to act irritated with me, and it only amps up my agitation.
”Fine. Then I”ll find someone who can.”
I disconnect the call and have the next number loaded before my brain catches up. My thumb stops just above the send button, hovering as I realize I can”t make this call. Not because Heidi wouldn’t try to help me—she would. But helping me would not only put her employment on the line, it would also likely cause issues in her relationship since she’s with one of the team leads at Alaskan Security.
”Fuck.” I clear the screen and rake my hands through my hair, pissed at myself for being so fucking vain. So fucking stupid. I should have just accepted there was no way for me to get around Julieanne. The second I saw her smile it was over. I was always going to find her. Always going to claim her for myself.
If I hadn’t waited six fucking months to accept the inevitable, we wouldn”t be in any of this shit. She wouldn”t have been at her condo long enough to be tracked down by whoever the fuck did this. And I never would”ve started a fight with Alaskan Security, effectively cutting off my own fucking nose to spite my own fucking face.
But I was too damn weak to admit I was already done for. Too weak to admit I wasn’t the man I used to be. And it’s all because of her.
Accepting that Julieanne’s presence has changed me is a tough pill to swallow. One I”ve been choking on for far too long, but I”m at the point where I can”t avoid taking it down. There”s too much proof staring me in the face.
And that”s why I only have one option left. An option I never expected to use. But I don”t have a choice.
I push the chair back and stand, grabbing my phone and tucking it into my pocket before going down the hall in search of my solution. I find her on the sofa, sprawled across the plush cushions, Radar curled tight into her side as she cackles at whatever show she”s watching on the television.
Julieanne’s so engrossed she doesn”t immediately notice me, and I take advantage of the opportunity to take this moment in. Take her in.
I always knew my life was empty, but that was by design. Allowing another person close wasn”t a risk I was willing to take. I know firsthand what it feels like to lose someone who matters more than anything, and that wasn”t going to happen to me twice.
But now I also know what it feels like not to have that person, and I think it might be fucking worse. Knowing Julieanne was out there and I couldn”t touch her made me fucking unhinged. Unhinged enough to easily cross lines most people would balk at. I don”t fucking care. Every bit of what I did was needed and necessary and worth it to have her here now, that smile that first pulled me in lighting up everything around her.
And now, around me.
”Pause your show, Jules.”
Her eyes come my way, and she gives me that life ruining smile as she sits up, her gaze dragging down my frame. ”Okay.”
I know what she”s thinking, and now I”m thinking it too, but that has to wait. I need her safe more than I need to sink into her wet willing body. But not by much.
”We”re going to headquarters.”
Her eyes widen as she shifts on the sofa. ”Again?”
I tip my head in a small nod. ”Again.”
She looks so perfect in the spot that only I used to sit, and I check my watch, thinking maybe I have enough time to pin her against the cushions and fuck her until she’s screaming my name. But if I start making allowances like that, I’ll never get anything done. Instead, I turn my back and start to walk away, removing the sight of the temptation I’ve never been strong enough to resist. ”Get dressed. We”ll leave as soon as you”re ready.”
I go straight back down the hall, refusing to slow my steps before closing myself into my office. Knowing she”s so close, peeling away her pajamas, will likely prove just how weak I am when it comes to her. I’ve done highly questionable things to have her here with me.
And I’ll do highly questionable things to keep her.
I drop down behind my desk, staring at my computer, fingers finding their way to the keyboard before I can stop them. I don”t want to cause problems for Heidi—I don”t. But I need Julieanne to be safe. The thought of something happening to her now—
Bile crawls up my throat, bringing along old memories of desperation. Of unending pain and suffering. Of loss. Reminding me what will happen to me if I lose someone else I care about.
And I won”t fucking survive it this time.
That”s what convinces me. I open my private, encrypted email—one no one at GHOST knows exists and no one on Alaskan Security will ever find—and type out a quick message to Heidi, clicking send before what remains of my conscience can stop me.
”I”m ready.” Julieanne’s voice on the other side of my door pulls me to my feet, slamming the laptop closed. I straighten just as she opens the door, her sweet smile eradicating any guilt I might be trying to feel over dragging Heidi into this.
Because I would drag anyone to the pits of hell to keep that smile.
Julieanne smoothes down her front, dragging my attention from her face to what she”s wearing, and the need to pin her down and fuck her becomes almost overwhelming.
I know she”s mine. She knows she”s mine. But now, everyone else will know she”s mine.
She’s dressed head to toe in black. Her jeans are so well fitted they might as well be painted onto her lush frame. The short boots on her feet won”t be useful in any sort of snow, but the small heel lifts her off the ground enough to elongate the curve of her legs. The sweater she”s wearing is oversized and baggy draping past the curve of her ass.
An ass that also now belongs to me.
I walk toward her, loving the way she watches me and the creep of pink that tints her skin when I come close. I reach out to snag the knit of her shirt. ”This looks familiar.”
She gives me a little smile. ”It should. It”s yours.”
I move closer, bringing the front of my body to the front of hers as I reach around to fill my palms with her ass, dragging her against me. ”All of this is mine, Jules, remember?”
Julieanne leans forward, bringing her sweet softness against me. ”I remember.”
I”m so fucking glad all her shit finally got here. I love her smelling like me, but I love my home smelling like her more. I want the scent of her shampoo and body wash and perfume to permeate my fucking house.
My fucking life.
I drop my forehead to hers, gritting my teeth. ”We have to go. Stop trying to tempt me to strip you down and fuck you right here on the floor.”
Julieanne loops her arms around my neck, pushing up on her toes in a way that rubs her tits against my chest. ”You can always do that when we get back.”
”Good point.” I reach behind my head and grab one of her hands, lacing my fingers between hers before dragging her down the hall. The sooner we leave, the sooner we get back.
I pause at the coat closet, taking just enough time to wrap her in a winter coat before loading her into my SUV and backing out. There”s still a decent amount of her stuff in my garage, and I”m not quite sure what I”m gonna do with it. My house is already furnished, but if she wants to move some of her items in, I can find a place for them.
Hell, if she wanted to redecorate the whole thing, I’d give her my credit card and free reign. Maybe I”ll tell her that when we get home. After I fuck her.
I”ve gone years only needing to scratch the occasional itch, looking for company only when I had to. But with her, I’m insatiable. I can”t get enough. If I could live with my cock in her cunt, I would.
No wonder my team thinks I’ve fucking lost it.
It hasn”t snowed for a couple of days, so the roads are relatively decent as we drive along the outskirts of Fairbanks. It”s late enough in the morning that the garage is quiet when I pull in. I have a roster of hackers and IT investigators who rotate every eight hours, and we’re in the middle of the first shift, so everyone is already well into their day.
Once we’re inside, I lead Julieanne to the break room.
“Oh wow.” Her eyes go around the space. “This is really nice.”
“I ask a lot of my employees. The least I can do is give them a decent place to make their coffee.” I go to one of the machines lined across the counter and choose my favorite of the pods, loading it in and sliding a paper cup into place as it starts to run. Coffee isn’t all I keep available in the break room, but I don’t plan on her needing to know about the rest. Julieanne being here is a one-time thing.
Two-time thing.
As great as she would be at it, she can’t work for GHOST. I won’t be able to handle having her this close to the danger employment here can bring. I won’t survive it.
Once Julieanne”s coffee is brewed, I set the machine to make another cup before adding the sweetened creamer I know she likes to her cup, pressing on a lid, and sliding it into a cardboard sleeve. By the time I’m passing hers off, mine is done and I grab it from the machine, skipping the lid and sleeve. Pressing my palm to her back, I direct her toward the door. ”Let”s go see just how magical you are, Angel Face.”
I lead her into the den—the room where my IT team is located—blinking a few times as we enter. It always takes my eyes a second to adjust to the dimmer light, but I can”t have my employees dealing with headaches and eyestrain. Julieanne keeps her chin up, not looking around at all as we walk straight in and go down to the central desk where Elias is working. He glances up as we approach, gaze drifting to Julieanne before coming back to me.
”Since you”re struggling so much, I decided to let Julieanne see what she can find.”
Elias”s brows lift, but he doesn”t ask any questions. He stands, stepping out of his chair before turning it Julieanne”s way. ”Be my guest.”
I tip my head toward the door we just came through. ”Go take a break.” He”s been working long hours these past few days, trying to figure out what the fuck is going on, and is probably frustrated and exhausted. ”Use the couch in my office if you need it.”
He leaves, and when I look down at where Julieanne now sits in his chair, I find her studying me. The corners of her mouth barely tip up, but then her gaze shifts to the people around us and the hint of her smile flattens out.
I grab a spare chair and haul it right next to hers, angling it close. Then I sit down—leg touching hers—and settle in, ready to watch her work. ”My team was able to find the trail of who they believe is responsible for sending those men to your condo, but the source no longer exists.”
Julieanne”s dark brows pinch together. ”You mean there”s no more trail to follow?”
I shake my head. ”I mean it’s gone. There”s no trace they ever existed. It disappeared.”
Once upon a time, everything had a trail. The breadcrumbs were obvious and easy to follow. But technology has gotten more sophisticated. Now we’re dealing with a new generation of assholes who’ve been immersed in this shit since they were born instead of people who spent half their lifetime without it. It”s created a different breed of hackers, and their abilities and skills get better every fucking day. At this point, if I could hire a bunch of sixteen-year-olds, I would. Those little fuckers eat, breathe, and shit the stuff.
Julieanne continues frowning at me. ”Are you sure? There”s always something. Sometimes it’s just rerouted to hide the source.”
I shrug, giving her a little smirk. ”That”s why you”re here, Angel Face. I want you to see if you can find any breadcrumbs for us to follow.”
Julieanne sits up a little straighter, giving me a nod, her expression serious. ”Okay.” She turns to the computer in front of her, scrolling through all the data Elias has collected. She”s completely focused on what she”s looking at, so I know my presence here isn”t needed, but I don”t want her here alone. It”s like letting her play with fire while holding a can of gasoline, and it terrifies me.
So I stay right next to her. For fucking hours. When she needs more coffee, we go get it. When she has to pee, we go pee. At this point, I”m sure my team thinks I”ve lost my mind. They’d be right. I don”t give a fuck. They can think whatever they want, as long as I find out who tried to touch what belongs to me.
And once I know where they are, I”m going to go kill them. Every fucking one of them.
I”m sitting next to Jules, who”s sucking down her third cup of coffee, eyes fixed on the screen, when Amos comes in. His eyes track to where Julieanne works before coming to me. ”I need to brief you on our current assignments.”
It”s something we normally would have done yesterday, but I had other, more important, things to do. Primarily, figuring out who the fuck is behind the team that went after Julieanne. But, that particular task won”t bring in the money that runs GHOST, so I spin my chair to face him. ”Go.”
His brows lift. ”Here?”
Our briefings usually happen in my office, but I”m not interested in putting that much distance between me and Julieanne. ”Here.”
Amos almost looks like he”s going to disagree with me, but finally he relents and gives me the rundown. I’m not sure why he was so fucking wound up about it, because it sounds like everything is going exactly as it should. All three of his teams are currently out on assignment, and every one of them is exactly as it should be. Which is good fucking news, because I”m not sure I can handle another shit show right now.
Once he’s done, I nod my head. ”Good.” I start to turn back to Julieanne, but he catches the back of my chair, halting my spin. His jaw works from side to side, eyes snapping to Julieanne before coming back to me.
”Do you have something to say?” I know he hears the dare in my voice. Amos probably knows me better than anyone else at this company, so he likely understands how monumental Julieanne”s presence is. He may not know everything about my past, or the reasons I”ve done what I have, but it”s not difficult to understand that a man who’s spent his life alone and has suddenly got a woman by his side is not someone you want to fuck with.
Amos runs his tongue across the front of his teeth, lips pressing tight together as he straightens, releasing my chair. ”No.” He spins on one heel and walks away, slamming through the door leading to the rest of the building.
He can be mad. He can think I”m neglecting my duties. I’ve spent decades running this company. Decades making it my whole life. I worked relentlessly to build my teams. To build GHOST into an unstoppable machine that can run itself.
The arrogant part of me wants to believe GHOST would end if I walked away, but I know it wouldn”t. Because the arrogant part of me also knows I”ve done too fucking good of a job building it. Even if I back off a little bit, it will still be the best of its kind.
I turn back to Julieanne, letting my gaze drag over her.
And now I”ve got a hell of a reason to back off.