Chapter 20
“Exfoliating your skin before you apply a moisturizer is always the best practice,” the salesman says as he shakes the lotion bottle.
This is all Matt’s fault. He made eye contact with the mall kiosk person. Everyone knows you never make eye contact with them. You keep moving. You don’t pause. If you stop or even hesitate, you won’t pass Go. You will go directly to the kiosk jail. And that’s precisely where I’m at right now.
“Hold out your hand,” the salesman says.
I glare at Matt.
That’s another rule. Absolutely, under no circumstances, let them get the product in your hand.
Matt smiles. “Oh, come on. Hold out your hand.”
I purse my lips together and flip over my palm.
“You’re going to love this moisturizer,” the man says as he pours a dime-size sample onto my skin. “It’s one hundred percent natural, not greasy, and will help you feel hydrated.”
“Does it cure cancer, too?” I mumble as I rub the lotion into my forearm.
“Matt? Is that you?”
“Brittney?”
I turn around just as Matt hugs a tall, thin blonde. “I haven’t seen you in forever.”
The blonde’s blue eyes go to me as she hugs Matt, and I instantly feel insecure.
My hair is a mess.
I’m wearing yoga pants and a zip-up hoodie.
She’s beautiful.
And that is one longggg hug.
Matt finally pulls back. “What are you doing in Houston?”
“I’m here for work for a few days. What about you? How is NASA?”
“It’s keeping me busy.”
I move so I’m standing closer to Matt. He turns to me. “Remi, this is Brittney. We were at MIT together.”
Oh, she’s smart too.
How wonderful.
“That feels like forever ago,” Brittney says, reaching her hand out to me.
“It’s nice to meet you,” I say, worrying if the cancer-curing moisturizer is getting all over Brittney’s flawless skin.
She forgets about me as soon as our handshake is over. “I was thinking about you the other day,” she says to Matt.
“Really?”
“Yeah, I was having dinner at the North End at that Italian restaurant we used to go to. I ordered the calamari linguine in your honor.”
How nice of her.
Why doesn’t she just order what she likes, not what Matt likes?
Matt nods. “Ahh, best linguine I’ve ever had.”
“How is your family? I’ve been getting all of your mom’s Christmas cards.”
Brittney gets the Johnson family Christmas card? That seems serious.
“Everyone’s doing good.”
“Tell them I say hi.”
Tell them I say hi?
As if the Johnsons have been wondering since college where Matt’s friend Brittney has been. Unless this chick was more than a friend.
“I will,” Matt says.
“And next time I come to Houston, we should do lunch. It’s been way too long.”
“Definitely.”
I eye him. Definitely?
“I’ve got to run,” Brittney says, giving Matt another hug. “It was so good to see you.”
“You too.”
She waves at me. “Nice to meet you, Remi.”
I nod, and then she walks away.
“So the moisturizer…” the salesman dives right back in.
I hold up my hand to stop him. “We’re not interested.” I drag Matt away from the kiosk. “Who is that?”
“That’s Brittney.”
“I know that, but who is she?”
“She’s my ex-fiancée.”
He says it so casually that I have to replay his words back through my mind just to make sure I understand them right.
“Your ex-fiancée? I had no idea you were ever engaged.”
“It was a long time ago.” He shrugs as he walks down the mall.
“I need more details. How long did you date? How long were you engaged? Who called it off? Why did they call it off?” I’m rattling questions off like a worried mother whose teen just came home three hours after curfew.
“We dated for one year.”
“One year!” I exclaim. “And you proposed?”
Matt turns to me. “Are you going to repeat every answer I give?”
I roll my lips shut and shake my head.
“We were seniors in college. I was young and hadn’t thought through everything. We both had jobs lined up in different states, and neither of us was willing to give up our dreams. I wasn’t committed enough, so I called it off.”
Matt called it off.
Why does that knowledge freak me out? Is he going to wake up one day and realize he’s not committed to me? Call it off with me? I swallow, trying to keep my fears tightly wrapped together in a neat little package that’s hidden in the corner of my heart. But it’s hard. This new information about Matt has given my deepest insecurities a breath of life, and now they are clawing at my chest, begging to settle into my heart and mind.
Matt must sense my freak-out because he stops walking and pulls me into a hug.
“It was a long time ago. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about her sooner. I just don’t think about it that often, and we’ve only been dating for four months, so bringing up past serious relationships seemed like a lot.”
It is a lot.
I nod. “Yeah, don’t worry about it. It’s not a big deal.”
Except that now I’m worried about whether or not Matt will end up being just another person in my life who isn’t committed to me.