Chapter Five #2
Kyle laughed, and decided to be thankful for the family he’d found in New York, rather than dwell on the shame and anger he felt whenever he talked to his parents. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“I’m having a party.”
Eric’s announcement was met by stunned silence. He had expected as much, so he hurried to explain. “It’s my birthday on Thursday, we have Friday off and I want to have a party. At my house. On Thursday night.”
The idea had struck him when he’d woken up that morning.
He, Eric Bennett, would celebrate his forty-first birthday—his final birthday as an NHL player—with a big, fun party.
Because if not now, when? He had a house to himself, he had friends who he loved like family, and he had, frankly, a bit of a crush on someone. Someone who might enjoy a fun party.
The Admirals locker room remained silent for another few seconds, and then Carter clapped his hands and said, “Party at Benny’s! Come on, boys, it’s his ninetieth birthday. Let’s go hard.”
The room erupted into laughter, cheering, and teasing.
“All right, Benny!”
“You still going to be alive next week?”
“What time is the party? Five until seven?”
“BYO chocolate milk?”
Eric pretended to be annoyed, but he couldn’t hide his smile. “Regular party time, you assholes. And I’ll have a fully stocked bar. Bring your partner, bring your friends.” Then, for whatever ridiculous reason, he added, “Bring your partner’s friends.”
There was whooping and hollering. This team loved a good party.
“So what’s this all about?” Scott asked in a low voice as he removed his skates.
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve known you a long time, and I don’t think you’ve ever hosted a party. You barely even go to parties.”
Eric unfastened the straps on his chest protector. “Maybe I want to try something new.” It was an absurd thing to say, given that almost every fucking thing in Eric’s life lately had been new. His house was new, living alone was new, being single was new, facing retirement was new.
Allowing himself to fantasize about men was new.
Wanting to maybe do something about it was definitely new.
“Well, Kip and I will be there for sure. And maybe Kip can invite Maria. She’s fun. Oh, and Kyle. She lives with him, so if he’s not working, maybe—”
“Sure. That would be cool,” Eric interrupted, far too eagerly. “If he’s not busy. He can definitely come. I’d like that. I mean...the more the merrier, right?” He cringed inwardly. The more the merrier? God, he sounded like his mother.
“We have to be up sort of early on Friday,” Scott said. “Kip and I, I mean. We’re doing an interview for a documentary about queer athletes. There’s going to be hair and makeup and the whole deal. Kip is excited about it.”
“That sounds great.” Eric meant it. Scott and Kip had done a lot of interviews, events, and photoshoots since their relationship had become public.
It was basically a second job for Scott, taking up most of his free time.
But Scott had told Eric once that, in the past, that time might have been spent doing paid work for his sponsors, and representing and boosting the LGBTQ community was far more rewarding than endorsing razor blades and sports drinks.
“I won’t be offended if you need to leave the party early.
I’ve left plenty of parties early for no reason at all, so. ..”
Scott smiled. “I wasn’t exactly a party animal myself before I met Kip. I mean, I’m still not, but at least I go out without feeling terrified that I’ll let the mask slip, y’know?”
Oh, Eric knew. His situation wasn’t the same as Scott’s, but he understood how it felt to live with a secret.
To love playing hockey, but hate having to endure the endless homophobic slurs.
To have to pretend you didn’t take them personally.
At least Eric had been with Holly for most of his career.
He hadn’t denied himself love or companionship out of fear, he just hadn’t been completely honest about who he was.
Scott had never had that luxury. By the time Scott had finally come out to his friends, Eric had already suspected that Scott might be gay.
It wasn’t just that he’d never shown any interest in dating or hooking up with women—it was the unease that Scott always carried with him into social situations.
Into locker room conversations about women.
It was the sadness that had always lurked under his steady, heroic exterior.
Most of the guys probably hadn’t noticed, but Eric had seen it for years.
He’d never asked Scott about it beyond a perfunctory “are you all right?”, which probably made Eric a bad friend. Or maybe it just made him a hockey player, conditioned to only be interested in feelings that came from, or affected, the game. Either way, Eric had done nothing to help.
It almost felt selfish to come out to Scott now.
After Scott had done all the hard work on his own.
It had been two and a half years since Scott had publicly come out as the first gay NHL player, and now, after watching his friend shoulder that burden alone, Eric wanted what? Some advice? Some dating tips?
He needed to figure out a way to tell Scott that didn’t make him feel like an asshole.
“I like you better with the mask off,” is what he said now.
Scott beamed at him. “Me too.” He clapped Eric on the shoulder. “I’m excited about this party, Benny! This is going to be great.”
Eric nodded. Maybe he could be a little more adventurous. The kind of guy who hosted fun parties and who maybe opened the door, just a crack, to let a little chaos into his life.