Chapter Six #2
“Yeah, but you know the one I mean. That guy in Vermont was a fucking trash bag. It doesn’t mean it’s wrong to be attracted to older men.
I like tall men, and I’ve been with four of them who fucking sucked.
Doesn’t mean I’m not gonna keep trying to find that perfect, tall, probably Finnish prince who may or may not play for the New York Admirals. ”
Kyle smiled at that. “Ian was a trash bag, but I made my own choices. And those choices are always bad when it comes to a certain type of man.”
Maria gave him a hard look. “Kyle. You were eighteen. Cut yourself some slack.”
“Why? No one else did.” Fuck, he shouldn’t have said that.
He put on a smile that probably didn’t look any more real than it felt.
“Anyway. It all worked out for the best, right? We get this sweet, free Manhattan apartment and I get to live my best gay life away from the gossip mill of Shaw, Vermont.”
Maria had heard the story shortly after she’d moved in with him.
During Kyle’s senior year of high school, his dad had gotten him a job in the offices of the Shaw Area Business and Tourism Association.
The director of the association, Ian, was in his midthirties at the time, married with two kids, and was a very well-liked and respected member of the community.
He was also, in virginal teenage Kyle’s eyes, extremely hot.
Kyle had been working with him for about a month when Ian had asked him to stay late and help him brainstorm new festival ideas. He’d kept moving his chair closer to Kyle’s, and he’d kept finding innocent ways to touch him. And then the touches had turned less innocent.
Kyle had known it was wrong, but he’d never had any kind of sex with anyone, and he’d been too horny and too flattered to care.
He’d allowed their secret relationship to continue into the summer because he’d believed everything Ian told him: that he was unhappy in his marriage.
That he was in love with Kyle. That he would leave his family for him.
That it would be the best for everyone because Ian was living a lie.
Kyle, young and naive as he was, believed that this was a fairytale romance.
That their love was so strong it would endure anything.
The secrecy only made their relationship seem more important, like no one else got to know because no one else would understand how perfect they were together.
Ian had let him believe that Kyle was the one in control.
That Ian was helpless around him, and Kyle had loved that.
He’d wanted to be irresistible. He’d wanted to be Helen of Troy, and have important men fall over themselves to win his favor.
It had all come crumbling down when Ian’s wife had found out.
She had hired a private investigator, because of course she had suspected; being the director of the business association of a tiny town was not a job that demanded a lot of late nights.
The investigator had set up a hidden camera in Ian’s office, and Kyle and Ian had given it plenty to record.
Ian had been confronted with the most explicit stills from the recordings, along with the news that his wife had left with the kids. The gossip spread around town like wildfire. It was the most interesting thing to happen in Shaw in forever: a gay affair. With a teenager.
And that was how Kyle had been outed as gay. To the town, to his friends, and, most devastatingly, to his family.
His parents had assured him repeatedly that they had no problem with him being gay.
But he had embarrassed them by causing a scandal, and they’d felt it was best that he leave town.
Kyle had always been an exceptional student, and he had been accepted to a few prestigious universities.
He decided to go to Columbia because New York City seemed like the quintessential place to reinvent yourself, or to just get swallowed up.
Both sounded good to Kyle at the time. His parents found and paid for an apartment in Chelsea, and Kyle found a part-time job as a server at a Chelsea restaurant to cover his expenses.
He never saw or heard from Ian again, and he only saw his parents the rare times they visited him in New York.
“I want to fuck that guy up so bad,” Maria said, bringing Kyle back to the present. “He should be in jail for what he did to you.”
“I was legal,” Kyle argued, for some reason.
“Barely. I mean there should be a law against that kind of...manipulation, y’know? Plus he was your boss. That’s not okay.”
“I know.”
She hugged him suddenly, which was an unusual gesture from Maria. “You deserved better.”
Kyle hugged her back. “I just think,” he said carefully, “that heartache and temptation are a dangerous mix. If I go to that party I know what might happen.”
Maria pulled back to look at him. “What exactly is the worst that can happen, though? If Eric isn’t interested in you, you’re not going to, like, trick him into making out with you.”
“I’m more worried about the scenario where he is interested in me.”
She stood back and started counting on her fingers. “He isn’t married. He’s a sweetheart by all accounts. And he’s bonkers hot. I don’t see how making a move on him would be bad in your worst-case scenario.”
“Because it’s always great at first with these guys. Then they get scared or whatever and flee. And then I’m scooping up the pieces of my heart again. No thanks.”
“Well, if you change your mind...”
“I’m not changing my mind,” Kyle said firmly. “For once in my life I’m going to make a good decision.”