Chapter 23 #2
He takes my hand in his and kisses it. “You can. I know you can.”
I look up at him and croak out, “What makes you so sure?”
He runs his knuckles over my cheek and looks at me with all the sincerity in the world.
“Moms are nature’s ultimate protectors. No one protects the people she cares about better than you.
There are literally a million memes out there about you being a superhero protector.
We’re going to make mistakes, all parents do, but we’re going to do a lot of things right too, because we’re going to love this baby.
That’s all you have to do as a parent. Love the shit out of your kid.
I know we can both do that. I don’t have any doubts. ”
I’m silent. It’s like this guy has a handbook on how to handle this kind of situation perfectly, and he’s hitting every single mark. The man is a walking, talking green flag.
He sits back up and takes my hand in his. “Here’s what we’re going to do. First, I’m going to make food for my three best girls. I need to keep you all well fed.”
“Three?” Oh crap, are they twins? Triplets?
“You, baby prodigy, and BJ.”
I nod in understanding while simultaneously breathing a sigh of relief.
“Then we’re going to buy a test to confirm the pregnancy. If it’s as you think, we’ll make a doctor’s appointment to make sure baby prodigy is growing as she should be.”
“You’re so…level-headed. It’s freaking me out.”
He barks out a laugh. “Would you rather I freaked out? Did you think I’d freak out?”
“Honestly? Yes.”
He stands and starts to put on his clothes. “No way. I’m already thinking of which room will be the nursery. We can talk to Layla and Presley about things babies need. You should move in right away so we can start planning everything.”
He says it nonchalantly, like it’s not a big deal that I’d be moving in.
I can’t get a single word in as he seemingly plans the rest of our life before exiting the room to make us lunch.
What the fuck just happened?
I take my time getting dressed because I don’t think I’m processing everything that has gone on today. When I woke up this morning, insta-family was not on my bingo card.
It’s like he decided the rest of our lives without consulting me. I have no idea what I want, but Daylen has unilaterally decided what it will be.
I think we need to confirm the pregnancy, and then we’ll have a conversation about things. I’m not ready for all this. We’re not ready.
Mary Poppins is out there whistling while making lunch as if he doesn’t have a care in the world. If I’m not mistaken, I think I hear BJ whistling with him. That can’t be.
The doorbell rings, and he shouts, “Can you grab that? I’m at the stove, and BJ and I are just finding our groove.”
“Sure,” I respond with my mind still spinning on its axis.
I open the door and see a blonde-haired, blue-eyed, unusually attractive delivery woman holding a small box. Her pretty face drops when she notices me. “Oh, is Daylen home?”
I cross my arms as a jealousy I’ve never before experienced runs through my body. “Are you on a first-name basis with all your customers?” I ask with a heavy dose of edge to my tone.
“Oh…umm…I…” She holds up a small box. “I have a delivery for him.”
I go to reach for it, but she pulls it back. “It has to be…signed for,” she lies. No one has to sign for deliveries. In fact, most of them don’t even ring the bell anymore. They just drop it, take a picture, and then leave.
I offer her my biggest fake smile. “Oh, well, I’m his wife, so I can sign for it.”
Her face drops about twenty stories. Oh man, this is fun.
“He’s m…married?” she scream-asks. It’s more of a high-pitched squeal.
I nod. “Yep.” I rub my non-existent belly. “And we’re expecting our first baby. My crazy husband is convinced it’s a girl, but I don’t know. What do you think?”
If I thought her face was painted in horror before, I was wrong. She practically throws the box at me and leaves a trail of smoke as she runs back toward her truck and takes off.
I inwardly laugh as I close the door and walk back into the kitchen. Tossing the small box at Daylen, I nonchalantly say, “I can’t believe you banged your delivery woman. Is it the blue polyester uniform that does it for you?”
He turns his head from the stove and raises his eyebrow at me. “Don’t judge. She’s hot.”
“She is. Judge Century Club will not be happy,” I joke.
“It was before Vegas,” he immediately responds. “I’ve kept my word. Do you doubt me?”
In reality, I don’t doubt him. We’re not even together and yet I know he would never cheat on me. That realization is also a bit mind-blowing.
I shake my head. “No, I don’t doubt you at all.”
“Good. Honestly, I forgot about her. I guess a new delivery person is in my future. I hope the new one has the same gag reflex. Do you think that’s an hiring prerequisite?”
I cross my arms. “No way her gag reflex is better than mine.”
His smile widens. “Why don’t you get on your knees so I can reevaluate? Suck a Dick Sunday is coming up. It’s my favorite weekly holiday, but I’m willing to let you celebrate it a few days early.”
“Is that what I’m having for lunch? Humblecock cream?”
He lets out a huge laugh. “Oh man, you make me laugh. Our daughter will be funny with us as her parents. This kid is going to be the whole package.”
I sigh. He really has adjusted to the notion of fatherhood quite quickly.
An hour later, we’re both in hats and sunglasses at the drugstore. I suggested hats and sunglasses in case we’re recognized while buying a pregnancy test. I don’t need this leaked to the media.
Daylen has placed every pregnancy test in the store in our basket. I stare at him. “I don’t think we need thirty of them.”
“We want to be sure.”
“I don’t think I could possibly pee enough to manage all these tests.”
“I can pee on some of them,” he offers. “We’re a team, right?”
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “I hope this kid has my personality, not yours.”
He chuckles, but I stare at the overflowing basket with my hands on my hips and disapproval written all over my face.
He scrunches his nose. “Fine. We don’t need all of these.” He then places one of them back on the shelf. One.
We head to the cashier, and he hands her the basket. She smiles at him. “Will this be all, sir?”
He shakes his head and deadpans, “No, I just wanted to show you what I’ve got so far.”
Her face falls in confusion.
I interrupt, “Ignore him. He thinks he’s a comedian. This will be all, thank you.”
We get in his car to drive back toward his house, which happens to be unexpectedly nice. I was shocked when I went there today.
“Why do you have such a big house?” I ask while he’s driving. “You’re a single man.”
“I’m not single, I’m a married man, but yes, I bought it while single.
I had a place in the city, but then I got BJ.
She was antsy being cooped up in an apartment all day.
She needs space. The house has a doggie door and a huge backyard.
Now she can come and go as she pleases and run around out back when I’m not home.
She’s got a lot of energy, like her daddy. ”
“What do you do with her when you go on road trips?”
“I told you before. I have Chef Benny. He takes care of the house and the dog. He also does a lot of grocery shopping and meal prep for me. I should call him. He needs to start meal prepping for you to ensure you’re eating a healthy diet.
If you give me a list of things you do and don’t like, I’ll give it to him. ”
“You have a butler?”
He turns to me. “You have an intern.”
“True, but I don’t even pay him yet. Though I’m giving him a few bucks starting soon.”
“Benny isn’t a butler. He’s more of a…household manager.”
I roll my eyes. “That’s modern-day nomenclature for butler.”
He smiles.
“What’s so amusing?”
“That was a big word. I told you our kid will be smart.”
I lean my head back on my headrest and admit, “I learned that word from Harper last week. She’s smarter than me and she’s nine years old.”
He chuckles. “I love that kid. I hope we get one just like her. We should use the same word of the day toilet paper she has. It works.” He then rattles off about a million other things he wants us to do for this child.
He’s making my head hurt, planning our future.
I don’t even know what I’m having for dinner tonight, let alone what school system my kid will be in, which apparently Daylen has now mapped out.
“Daylen,” I plead, “please slow down.”
He looks at the speedometer. “Oh shit, you’re right. Precious cargo on board. See, I told you that you’d be a good protector.”
I wasn’t referring to the speed of the car. Tears form in my eyes. I have to turn to the window to hide them from him. Things are moving at warp speed. I can’t handle it.
Though apparently he was actually speeding because we’re hit with the sounds of a police siren about five seconds later and are pulled over.
We’re parked on the side of the road when the police officer walks up to the driver’s side and knocks on the glass. Daylen rolls down the window. “Sorry, man, my girl needs to pee on twenty-nine sticks. I was rushing home.”
The middle-aged male police officer removes his aviator sunglasses and stares at Daylen. “Sir, have you been drinking?”
Like an idiot, Daylen nods. “I have. Do you really think I’d take this woman home sober?”
I swear to god, he has a propensity to choose the worst times to make jokes.
The officer’s eyes toggle between me and Daylen before busting out into a huge grin. “Holy Toledo. It’s you. I’m a huge fan.”
Daylen removes his hat and gives him a big grin. “Always happy to meet a fan.”
The police officer scrunches his eyebrows in confusion. “I don’t know who you are, but your friend is Kennedy Jeffries, the famous basketball player. My three daughters are huge fans. They never miss a game on television.”