Chapter 7
7
Z’fir
“ H ow did I do?”
Selena sat horizontally on her Shadow’s lap, her legs dangling across one of his, while she stared up at the Aldawi Sovereign.
“You did well.” Zirene let out a deep, rumbling purr, swinging his tail onto her lap as he tightened his hold on her. “It only makes sense to give him permission to fly, especially when our citizens will need to get used to the Swynemi refugees flying once they settle down.”
“It was a display of power,” Z’fir added as he grinned at the Aldawi leaders. “You showed everyone that you welcome Mwe’s presence and trust him enough to give him free rein of your moon’s skies. You may not have thought of it this way, but it was a great gesture that you respect his position and don’t fear his presence on your moon.”
“I only did what makes sense.” Selena turned toward her Shadow, her fingers playing in his mane. “I know Oeta said she doesn’t fly as often as she should, being too wrapped up in her research. I wouldn’t want to restrict Mwe when he probably hasn’t been able to use his wings in a long time…” Instantly, her happy expression was wiped away as she glanced over at her Favored and frowned. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”
Z’fir knew what thoughts struck her without needing to read them. He knew that their nestqueen still felt responsible for their injuries, and guilty over how much they restricted their daily lives.
“You’re fine, Selena.” Xylo unbuckled his safety straps and crossed the short distance from his seat, cupping her face as he knelt before her. His face was soft yet stern. “ We’re fine. Our appendages will grow back in about a year’s time. Neither Odelm nor I blame you for our condition, so please stop feeling responsible. We’re alive , and we won’t be going anywhere.”
“I just don’t want either of you to feel inadequate.” She wiped a tear from the corner of her eye as she glanced between her Favored. “Even if your appendages never grow back, I wouldn’t love either of you any less.”
“We know. You aren’t like the other nestqueens, and for that, we’re forever thankful.” Xylo peered over his shoulder at his bondbrother. “While Odelm and I appreciate that others have refrained from using their appendages when we’re present, out of a sense of commiseration, we would rather see you live without restricting yourselves. The first few days after we reawakened were difficult, and as a clan, we needed time to come to our senses with what happened and all the changes that were made. But now I beg of you, Selena, my nestqueen— our nestqueen—stop worrying about us.”
Xylo scanned the faces of the rest of the clan before landing back on Selena. “We’re not going anywhere. Not until the Stars take us. We’ve defied their pull once, and we’ll do it again to remain by your side. Please, for our clan’s sake, don’t stress on our behalf. Live on, knowing we’ve survived just one more trial. We live through you . Your joy is ours. Your pain and sorrow is ours, too. Don’t waste precious moments with us by lingering on fleeting doubts.”
“What he’s saying is true, Selena.” Odelm let out a sigh and nodded as he joined his bondbrother, kneeling on the floor in the transport vessel’s walkway. “While it will take time to get used to life without my tentacles, I will take the advice you’ve given me yesterday and focus on what I do have—and that’s you, and our clan. Even though you’ll be dearly missed, I’ll take your time away from Destima to focus on healing—physically, mentally, and spiritually—with the help of my bondbrother. I want to become a stronger pillar in your foundation and give you the support you need to lead our clan and your empire.”
“V’dim and I are willing to do whatever is needed to aid you, too.” Z’fir tilted his head toward his bondbrother—the male whom he’d been tied with all his life. “We’ll make sure you’ll be able to relax and have a good time even while we’re away from home.”
“Think of it as a chance to be able to explore a part of the Aldawi territory that’s now under our clan’s control.” V’dim gestured to the purple marbled planet that hung in the sky. “Don’t allow what happened to make you leery of traveling the stars. You’ve often mentioned how you always wanted to travel, but felt like you no longer could because you were forced to become a mother—”
“She’s allowed to explore our territory whenever she pleases,” Zirene interjected, shooting Z’fir a pointed glare. “I won’t stop her. I only ask that she avoids the borders, especially the one we share with the Quaww, given our history and the endless skirmishes happening there. I was hoping their civil war would become a boon for us, but it hasn’t turned out that way yet.”
Z’fir understood the Aldawi Sovereign’s underlying meaning—if relations with the Quaww worsened, he would be forced to declare war on the unruly territory to defend what was his.
The Aldawi hated appearing weak, especially to the rest of the galaxy, and the recent change in rulership had drawn some unwanted attention. As it was, the Quaww were still causing trouble along their shared border, even though they were engaged in their own civil war. The conflict could devolve into all-out war if either side were to force the issue.
Which meant Zirene might soon need to call upon Z’fir and V’dim to lead a fleet once more and defend their territory. Not as princes of one of the minor species under Aldawi protection, but as capable captains tied to the Sovereign through their clan.
Z’fir was willing to do whatever was needed to defend their nestqueen and her offspring, even if it meant fighting on the frontlines against the Quaww.
“Hopefully it won’t come to that,” V’dim pathed, his mental voice tinged with worry. “While we are still in our prime, and it would be a great honor to fight alongside the Aldawi to defend our sector, I thought we had retired from the military to spend the rest of our years caring for our nestqueen as a part of her clan. I never expected to be called into battle once again, but this time to protect what was ours.”
“We wouldn’t be able to live apart from Selena for too long.” Z’fir scanned their clan’s Favored and took in their battered appearance—their coloring was still off, pale in comparison to their normal hues, and their lack of appendages was a jarring sight. “And I refuse to bring her aboard a warship. She’s been through too much and deserves to be tucked away on Destima if we are thrust into war once more. We need to lead our crew without distractions, knowing our nestqueen is safe with her remaining clan and children.”
“Let’s hope we never have to worry about that.”
“What’s on our itinerary until we leave?” Z’fir asked the Aldawi leaders, hoping to change the subject to something lighter and more pressing. “V’dim and I have plenty of experience playing host, considering our elevated position growing up. If you need any help keeping Mwe entertained, we could be of assistance.”
“I’m hoping Mwe doesn’t need entertaining.” Zirene scoffed, the end of his tail aggressively flicking on Selena’s lap—Z’fir had learned that meant he was agitated. The Sovereign often displayed his emotions so openly that Z’fir didn’t need to be an Ulax to know how he felt.
And after spending more time with his clanbrothers, he’d learned that Kaede wasn’t all that different. The assassin-turned-royal-guard could never hide his emotions regarding Selena and their clan’s safety.
“Don’t be like that.” Selena hissed, batting Zirene’s chest with the back of her hand. “You know perfectly well how important this alliance is to our empire. They’re our friends . They should feel welcome on my moon. Let them fly and enjoy themselves. It’s been awhile since the two of them have seen each other.”
“I know, Nova, but that doesn’t mean that I have to like it.” Zirene grabbed her wrist and pulled her hand to his mouth, growling playfully as he nipped her fingers. “There’s only so many powerful minds I can accept within our territory. I don’t like that they are capable of overhearing loud thoughts, and even more if prompted. We have too many secrets that I can’t afford to share.”
“We can trust Mwe and Oeta,” Selena soothed, cupping her Shadow’s cheek as she peered into his eyes. “They both are indebted to us and won’t betray us.”
“But someone close to the clan will,” Xylo pointed out as he sat back down in his seat. “The Cosmic Soul saw it written in the Stars. Someone will betray us, and death will soon follow.”
“But who?” Odelm asked, joining his bondbrother on the bench as he scanned the cabin. “It won’t be any of us. We’re all connected. It goes against our biological instincts to betray our clan.”
“Everyone is connected to my mental shields, including Kaede. Everyone except you.” Selena dropped her hand from Zirene’s face and frowned. “Why don’t you want me to figure out how to bind us together?”
Z’fir knew how much she wanted to connect with Zirene as intimately as the rest of the clan. Their shared dreamscape was not enough. She felt like he was withholding a part of himself, and it deeply hurt her.
And yet, Kaede’s warning about the two deepening their Nova-Shadow connection and what it could mean for them echoed in his mind. There wasn’t much information available about their unique connection, and the little they did know left many unanswered questions.
Would Zirene’s power and influence consume Selena? Or would she be able to control it, making it a part of her?
It was reported that the closer a Shadow-Nova pair became, the more their power would grow. Selena had already proven she was strong enough to be Zirene’s anchoring light, capable of pulling him from the darkness.
So why was he so resistant to letting Selena tie his mental shield to hers?
Having his lifeforce tied to hers was a great honor, one Z’fir never fathomed he would ever experience. She was a blessing from the Fates. Every time he opened his eyes to a new day, he thanked the Stars for leading her escape pod to their colony vessel.
“He’s afraid that if they were connected so intimately, he might lose his mind if she was taken again,” V’dim pathed, answering his loud thoughts. “He was so close to spiraling into darkness the first time that even she could barely bring him back to sanity.”
“But if the records are correct, a closer connection would make him even more powerful than he already is,” Z’fir countered. “He’s stated before that his brother is the only Aldawi who can rival his strength. Wouldn’t you think that would be a problem whenever they’re together now that Zirene is the Aldawi Sovereign instead of Prince Royak?”
“Whatever his reasons are, he’s entitled to his privacy, even if it hurts her,” V’dim replied. “She is the first and only of her kind. Never before has an Aldawi shared a bond with a member of a different species, let alone one so close, since their genders usually stay separate. Perhaps that is part of the reason why he has been so hesitant. We’ll have to support them both the best we can and continue to heal slowly as a clan.”
“Selena…” Zirene huffed, taking her hand from his face and gently kissing its back, his amethyst eyes darkened as they held hers. “Until I know the dangers it may cause, I don’t want to risk it. The last thing I want is to drag you—and those who are intimately connected to you—into my abyss if our lives become bleak once more.”
“Don’t shut me out. Don’t shut us out.” She shook her head. “That’s no way to protect us. You’re a part of me, and a member of this clan, just like they are. You aren’t alone anymore.”
“I understand that.” Zirene released her hand and brushed her short silver hair back, tucking a few strands behind her ear. His gaze softened as he scanned her face, as if begging her to understand. “As long as you’re alive, I can never be alone. All I’m asking is patience. Until things within our empire and the galaxy settle—and I know what will happen if you bind our mental shields together—I don’t want to take new risks. Especially not while you’re pregnant.”
“I can wait.” She sighed and placed her hands on her stomach, framing where her unborn daughter sat within her. “I would never jeopardize the Fates’ gift to our clan.”
Z’fir didn’t need to be a Ulax to see Selena’s golden aura burn brightly against the Aldawi Sovereign’s darkness. His own deeply intimate bondbrother connection with V’dim gave him the opportunity to see strong auras, and theirs were some of the strongest he’d encountered.
He now understood why Zirene was so hesitant, but it didn’t explain how they were both already so powerful.
Perhaps he could gather more information at the Harvest Festival. The female Aldawi must have a better understanding of the phenomenon.
All he could do was to hope.