Chapter 41
41
Selena
G rowling, I reached down, fingers tightening around his arm. The moment our skin touched, a shock of energy pulsed between us; his emerald runes flared under my grip. “Stop being foolish,” I snapped, harsher than I intended, disregarding the surge. “Neither of our lives is worth more than the other’s.”
Ryzen’s expression softened as he rose to his feet, his frown deepening when he glanced at my hand still clutching his arm. “That’s where you’re wrong.” He towered over me, the runes on his skin pulsing faintly, sending a steady warmth through me where we touched. “Your life holds more weight in this galaxy—no, the universe—than mine ever will. Like a spark igniting an inferno, your actions have forever changed the lives you’ve touched.”
I blinked, taken aback by the sincerity in his voice and the genuine expression in his face. His earnestness tugged at my heartstrings. Reluctantly, I let go of his arm, resisting the impulse to hold on and revel in the comforting energy between us.
The sensation reminded me of my Ulax nestmates, their soothing presence always steady through our bond.
But I couldn’t let myself indulge in it. He wasn’t them —or mine .
“I’m not fire,” I corrected, my gaze drifting to the distant lights of the city below. “Fire burns. It leaves scars on everything it touches. I don’t want to hurt the people I touch. If I were an element, I’d rather be water—shifting, flowing to meet what’s around me—and heal them.”
A grin tugged at the corner of his lips. “You’re right. I’m mistaken. You’re not fire,” he agreed with a soft chuckle. “Maybe you’re more like a ripple, one that becomes a tidal wave—drowning others in your brilliance.”
I rolled my eyes at his flattery, but his words made me smile. He always had a way with words, even when veiled in jest. It was hard to tell him to leave me alone since his presence felt so familiar, so soothing—and so addictive.
Faint laughter from the festival floated through the night air, a reminder that while others celebrated, I was here, wrestling with my own doubts.
I didn’t want what happened between Zirene and me to ruin the rest of my time at the Harvest Festival. My clan and friends deserved a break from all the stresses, a chance to enjoy themselves, free from the responsibilities we’d left behind.
It wouldn’t be fair to them.
“You could’ve fooled me,” I muttered, glancing up at the stars. “If it weren’t for the runes and the lack of tentacles, I’d swear you were an Ulax.”
Ryzen stepped closer, the heat of his body radiating against my back, his breath a whisper against my ear. “You miss them, don’t you?” His voice was gentle, slicing through my defenses like a psydagger—precise yet soft.
My fingers tightened around the railing, the cold stone grounding me as I nodded. “I was just reunited with them, and now I’ve left them again.” I touched my temple, feeling the faint hum of their presence, distant but alive. “I can sense they’re there—but they’re muted—nothing else reaches me from here.”
His arms rested on either side of me, caging me against the railing, his presence overwhelming but not unwelcome. Though he still didn’t touch me, there was an undeniable protectiveness in the way he hovered close. As he leaned in closer, his lips nearly brushed my ear and sent shivers down my spine. His voice was low and intimate, sending a rush of heat through my body as he spoke. “What if I told you I can help you reach them?”
My breath caught, hope flaring inside me as I turned quickly, heart pounding in my chest. His face was so close, our noses almost brushed. His eyes were half-lidded, glowing that familiar emerald green, like his runes. “Don’t play with my heart, Ryzen,” I whispered, barely audible. “Not with this.”
“I would never,” he said softly, gaze piercing. “Especially not with you.” His warm breath brushed against my skin. “I volunteered to be your teacher because I know you’ll need someone strong enough to aid you... but gentle enough to guide you through it. To make sure you don’t harm yourself—or your clanmates—while you learn how to strengthen your bond.”
His words fell over me like a heavy blanket, making my breath hitch as their significance sank in. My heart leapt with renewed hope—stronger this time—amplified by the warmth radiating from his closeness.
Could he really help me?
Would I be able to reach out to my nestmates and feel their presence despite the great distance?
“You volunteered?” I asked, my voice wavering with disbelief. “You can help me?”
Ryzen nodded, his gaze steady on mine. “Mwe and the others agreed. I know what it’s like to carry the weight of responsibility and needing to converse with someone familiar. I’ll help you reach them tonight. With time, I’ll work with you and help strengthen the bond with your Circuli mates, so you can converse as if they were there next to you, regardless of distance."
My throat tightened. For a moment, I couldn’t speak. His compassionate words—his offer—wrapped around me like a warm hug, soothing the hurt in my heart.
A trembling sigh of relief escaped me as I shut my eyes.
I had been carrying the weight of this separation for so long, feeling like a part of me was missing every time something reminded me of them. And now Ryzen was here, offering me the chance to change that—to always have my clanmates with me, no matter the distance—without having the muted feeling.
I swallowed hard and slowly opened my eyes, waves of emotions crashing against the walls of my heart. “You’d do that for me?”
“Think of it as repayment for everything you’ve done for me and my people.” He tilted his head, his eyes soft with sincerity. “Mwe and Oeta both believe in your potential—that you have the ability to strengthen your bonds—but you need someone to catch you if you push yourself too far and burn out. Let me be that person.”
My brows furrowed, lips pressed into a thin line. “What does it mean to burn out? I don’t want to sever my bonds with them...”
He shook his head, softly pushing my hair back from my face, careful not to touch my skin. “No, no, it won’t sever anything. Burnout isn’t like that. It’s when you deplete your mental energy —when you overextend yourself trying to reach too far, for too long. It leaves you drained, unconscious until your mind and body recover enough to wake.”
The thought made my stomach churn. “That sounds dangerous...” I swallowed hard. “Is that what happened to you?”
Ryzen’s gaze grew somber, his eyes drifting into a distant memory. After a moment, he nodded slowly, his shoulders drooping as his glowing runes dimmed, and he let out a deep sigh.
“What I did... was a last resort. I pushed myself beyond my limits. A spirit bomb. Using it was a last-ditch effort, something I thought would save the others. I was ready to fade into stardust, willing to sacrifice myself so that my brother may flee with the base." His voice dropped, heavy with unspoken weight. “But something stopped me. Kept me from fading.”
“Something… or someone?”
His jaw clenched, and for the first time, a flicker of uncertainty crossed his features. “I don’t know what it was exactly, but you were the one who found me,” he whispered, his eyes glowing softly, almost reverently. “You pulled me back, brought me back from the abyss. Without you, I wouldn’t be standing here now, Selena. And for that, I’m forever thankful.”
“It wasn’t as if I had a choice. Your brother made sure of that. But even though I didn’t know what to do, I had to try something. I couldn’t just... leave you.” I let out a heavy sigh, my shoulders slumping, unable to believe how everything had turned out. “But the Stars and the Fates… they work in mysterious ways.”
He gave a small nod, a faint smile curving his lips. “Indeed they do.” He leaned in, his voice dropping to a soothing murmur. “Would you like me to help you now? Reach out to your Favored?”
“Now?”
Just the thought of connecting with my homebound nestmates filled me with warmth, a desperate need that I couldn’t shake. The distance between us felt more tangible than ever, tugging at my heartstrings.
I missed them deeply, craving their closeness, their touch.
Despite the harsh words exchanged with Zirene, Ryzen’s offer sparked hope. The chance to reconnect with my mates through his guidance aside the lingering pain and eased the sting of the day’s frustrations.
“Now’s fine, but only if you’re ready.” His voice was soft, like the night wind through the villa’s exotic flora. “I thought speaking with your Favored might cheer you up, soothe your heart. Maybe even help you rest easier tonight.”
I swallowed, nervousness taking root in my chest. “What do I have to do?”
He stepped back, gesturing to a nearby bench. “It’s safer if we sit.”
He guided me with a certain gentleness, his hand hovering behind my back, close but never quite touching.
He motioned for me to sit, then settled beside me. The cool stone of the bench contrasted pleasantly with the warmth of his presence.
Ryzen leaned forward, hands resting on his knees. “I’ve only done this with my brother—combining our energies to reach someone out of range. But I need to warn you, Selena…” His gaze flicked up to meet mine. “It’s very intimate. We’ve already crossed some lines, mostly by accident, but this could get... intense.”
“What do you mean, intense ?”
“When we connect like this, we might experience things—thoughts, feelings... maybe even memories. It depends on the strength of those involved and the closeness of their relationship.” He paused, his expression serious. “You’ve already shared some with me.” Ryzen’s frown deepened, sadness clouding his eyes. “Things you might not want to share with others, or revisit again. I respect your boundaries—and won’t ever share any private information with another—but you need to know what you’re getting into.”
“It’s all right. I didn’t even know how I made the psychic construct—it wasn’t intentional.” I shrugged, offering him a small, reassuring smile. “You’ve already seen some of my memories, and honestly, I appreciate the warning.”
“That’s true. And I’m sorry for witnessing them.” His piercing emerald eyes softened. The slight lift at the corners suggested a hint of relief, but the deep creases on his forehead and the downturn of his mouth betrayed lingering regret. “I respect you, Selena. You’re strong and kind—someone who didn’t deserve what happened. I didn't want you to be unprepared for what could happen if you agreed to let me teach you.”
“Thank you, Ryzen.” His honesty and attentiveness eased the tension in me, and I found myself leaning into his presence. “I believe I’m ready... so how do we do this?”
He shifted closer, careful and deliberate. “Like I said, I’ve only done this with my brother. I’m not sure how it’ll work with someone who isn’t a Verya—and a strong Shielder like yourself—but I’m willing to try. What’s important is that you trust me. Do you?”
To my surprise, the answer slipped from my lips without hesitation. “I do.”
Ryzen’s eyes widened slightly before he nodded and raised his hands. “Then take my hands.” He entwined our fingers gently, a surprising calm washing over me yet again from his touch. His grip was firm yet tender, grounding me as I sucked in a deep breath. “Now all you need to do is relax, press your forehead to mine and close your eyes.”
“Vowels?” I called out telepathically. “Will we be fine?”
“You’re not alone.” Vowels’ voice echoed in my mind, his presence steady. “There’s nothing nefarious in his request. It’s a normal technique amongst telepaths. You have nothing to worry about. I’ll be with you the whole time. Always.”
“Thank you,” I pathed, sending a quick pulse of gratitude his way, appreciating his constant support.
“It’ll be all right,” he promised, his voice soothing as he guided me through the final steps. “With practice, we’ll be able to do this without touching, and eventually, you won’t need my help at all. Think of it like a muscle—you strengthen it with use. It might be harder for you, though. Your species are natural Shielders, but I believe with your unique adaptive capabilities, you’ll be able to extend your range. It’ll just take more time than natural Telepathics, like me.”
My heart raced as I nodded in agreement, taking a deep breath to calm my nerves. With shaky hands, I reached out and pressed my forehead against his, feeling the heat emanating from his glowing rune. Our skin touched, sending a jolt of electricity through my body. Closing my eyes, I focused on the warmth of his hands, trying to match the steady rhythm of his breath against my face.
Everything around us blurred and faded: the night air, the rustling wind through the villa’s flora, the distant hum of the city’s nightlife. All that remained was his voice, a soft whisper threading through my mind, wrapping around my consciousness, pulling me deeper.
“Accept me,” he pathed, his mental presence brushing up against mine, gentle yet firm. “Let me wrap my thread around yours, and together, we’ll travel along your Favoreds’ bonds. I’ll follow your lead, help extend your range... make the connection stronger. Then you’ll be able to reach them, your bond unmuted due to the long distance.”
I hesitated for just a moment before allowing his mental thread to slip around my Favoreds’ bonds. His presence was overwhelming—a surge of jade energy, raw and powerful, far less restrained than Mwe or Oeta. It was more intense than I’d anticipated, and for a heartbeat, I feared I might get lost in his strength, swept away by him.
“Don’t be afraid,” Vowels reassured me, his presence steady and comforting in the back of my mind. “If he oversteps, or you begin to drown yourself in his presence, I’ll block him, though it may take a lot of energy. In the end, you’re in control. I’ll make sure of that.”
His words steadied me, and I refocused on Ryzen, letting his jade thread wrap around mine. It felt like being enveloped in a mental embrace—strong, yet protective. His presence wasn’t suffocating, but close—so close it felt as if we were bound together in more ways than one. He held me spiritually, like a mental hug I hadn’t realized I needed after everything that happened between Zirene and me.
“Picture your mates,” he urged gently, his voice a soft murmur echoing through the connection. “Focus on your bonds, their mental threads, their faces… Let me help you reach them.”
I followed his suggestion, picturing Xylo and Odelm—their grins, their embraces, the love we shared. I focused on the way their mental threads entwined with mine, guiding myself along the bonds that connected us.
There was a strain, a resistance I hadn’t noticed before, but I knew it was normal—the distance between us was vast, and I was reaching beyond my usual range. Ryzen’s energy wove around mine, guiding and supporting me, making the strain manageable, even bearable, as we spiraled down the mental threads that connected me to my mates.
I felt Xylo first, his presence lighting up in my mind. His teal aura appeared, bright and warm. Instantly, he accepted me— no hesitation, no delay—his mental presence strengthening the moment we connected. His love washed over me, bringing me a sense of peace and soothing to my chaotic mind.
“My nestqueen…”
Odelm followed immediately, his eagerness to reconnect beaming across our bond. His affection embraced me, grounding me in his calmness and stability, anchoring me amidst the chaos of my own thoughts. I felt his happiness at our reunion, his thoughts brushing against mine like a comforting, steady pillar I could lean on.
“We’re here,” Odelm added, his presence settling beside his bondbrother. “And we saw what happened.”
Tears pricked my eyes, not from sadness but from the overwhelming love that enveloped me. It felt as if their arms were wrapping around me, pulling me close, even from across the sol system.
I exhaled a shaky breath, the ache in my chest loosening. Ryzen was right. It was as if they were with me, closer than I’d felt in days, and the relief washed over me. “I miss you,” I sent, my mental voice trembling. “I wish you both were here with me... and the rest of the clan.”
“We miss you too,” Xylo responded gently, his affection wrapping around me like a warm blanket. “But we’re always with you, even across the stars—even if you can’t always feel us.”
“You don’t have to worry about us…” Odelm sent a pulse of reassurance. “ We’re being responsible and not overdoing ourselves, so we can be at our best when we reunite in a few days.”
My heart swelled with warmth and happiness, their love enveloped me and eased the pain that had been weighing me down. The chaos inside me subsided as they mentally embraced me.
In that moment, I finally felt at peace, and the sting of Zirene’s accusations faded into the background.
Ryzen remained with me, his mental thread still intertwined with mine, but he didn’t intrude. He stayed in the background, offering quiet support without overstepping. His strength bolstered my connection to my mates, keeping our bond steady, though I could sense how much energy it took for him to hold everything together.
“Selena, how are you doing this?” Odelm’s mental voice was laced with suspicion. “Euouae doesn’t have the strength to make this possible, and I know your range doesn’t extend this far.”
“There’s another presence here,” Xylo said, his mental voice steady but cautious. “I’ve felt it before… long ago. Whose is it?”
“What do you mean?” I asked, confused.
“The night you accepted me and we sealed our bond, making me your nestmate,” Xylo explained, his tone more certain. “I felt this signature then—a signature like this—reaching for you on our first night together—from a great distance. It was much fainter then, but the signature is all the same.”
I remembered that night, the way Xylo had jolted awake, his vines in a defensive stance at the foot of our nestbed on Destiny . “You thought we were being attacked,” I pathed softly, recalling how alarmed he’d been, scanning our room for an intruder. “And was confused when there wasn’t anyone present.”
“It came as swiftly as it left,” Xylo recalled. I could tell by his tone he was as confused as I was. “But still, I remember the signature—it’s the same as one with you now.”
“That might have been me,” Ryzen pathed, his tone low. “I was reaching out for an anchor, trying to stop myself from fading into stardust after using my spirit bomb. When did this happen?”
“About a year ago…,” Xylo answered. “It was brief, but it was like a jolt, a swift swipe against her mental shields while we were sleeping.”
“It was me, ” he admitted, his voice heavy with both revelation and guilt. “For some reason, I instinctively reached for her, desperately trying to cling on... to stop myself from fading into the abyss. But in the end, my attempt failed.”
The knowledge sent my thoughts reeling. He had been searching for me, unconsciously—reaching for me long before we even knew each other’s existence.
Was it possible we had been connected all along?
“What does that mean?” Odelm’s voice conveyed a sense of urgency—and concern.
“I don’t know. None of this makes sense.” Ryzen’s tone was grim. “Relationships—intimate connections—are forbidden among my people. We’re taught they make us weak—vulnerable. So much so that any offspring born from a prohibited union were believed to be inadequate, weaker and less capable than those produced from the government’s breeding program.”
“But why do I feel this pull between us?” I asked quietly, feeling a tug of sadness for him. “Your presence is always so... calming, welcoming. I’ve been wondering why, but now…”
“There has to be a reason for this,” Xylo interjected, his tone more serious. “Why else would you reach for her during such a dire time?”
“Celyze told me that the Stars knew I was the one who could wake him, which is why Xenak kidnapped me,” I pathed, trying to make sense of it all. “The Stars must have known about this connection… but why?”
“It’s the Fates’ Will,” Ryzen said simply, as though that explained everything. “Some things can’t be explained, Selena. They’re written in the stars before we even exist.”
“At least now I know what happened, instead of wondering all this time,” Xylo pathed, his mental voice laced with worry. “But why are you reaching out to us now? Has something happened?”
“I found Selena crying alone on a balcony tonight, and it concerned me.” Ryzen’s response was gentle, almost apologetic. “I wanted to comfort her, to make sure she wasn’t alone. I offered to start teaching her how to strengthen her bond threads so she wouldn’t feel cut off from all of you, and with time, be able to maintain her connections across distances without feeling them muted.”
“Thank you for being there with her.” Xylo’s mental presence relaxed, a wave of gratitude washing over me.
“Zirene was out of line, Selena. You did nothing wrong,” Odelm reassured. “If you’re to lead beside him, as his Beacon, you’ll be speaking with people alone sometimes. It’s part of your role.”
“Don’t let his jealousy stop you from being... you,” Xylo agreed, his tone firm yet warm. “He needs to come to terms with his insecurities and what he’s done—that’s his problem, not yours. Don’t beat yourself up over it or let it ruin your time. You’re supposed to be on vacation, remember? Enjoy yourself with our family, and let my clanbrother reflect on his actions.”
“I will. I promise.”
A sudden wave of love and support washed over me like a warm, comforting embrace—even across the great distance. It lifted my spirits and strengthened my resolve, soothing the remaining ache in my chest caused by Zirene's harsh accusations.
Though his words still stung—and we needed to discuss what happened, the outpouring of love from my Favored helped. It was nice knowing that I was supported, even from afar, and that the rest of my clan had my back during this troubling time.
“We should stop for now, Selena,” Ryzen’s voice interjected gently. “You’re doing well, but we must not overdo it. You’ll burn out faster the longer we stay connected like this—and I'm not sure what the side effects will be, especially since you're pregnant.”
Xylo and Odelm sent one last mental embrace—a hug across the stars—filling me with their love. “We love you.”
Tears welled up in my eyes as I felt their presence slip away, leaving me with a sense of peace.
When I opened my eyes slowly, my vision was blurred with tears. My breath hitched as I blinked—and there was Ryzen, sitting close, his eyes locked on mine with an intensity that sent a jolt through me.
Without thinking, I reached for the back of his head, gripping a fistful of his hair as I climbed onto his lap and slammed my lips onto his.
The kiss was raw, passionate, and desperate. I needed to chase that feeling of being loved, of being whole—and he was the one who helped provide it. His hands roamed up and down my sides, every touch igniting something within me, mirroring the urgency I felt.
I kissed him harder. My mind buzzed with the flood of emotions—desire, relief, longing. The sensation of his touch was electrifying, kindling something inside me that was entirely uncontrollable—like an inferno propelled by warm breezes.
I couldn’t stop myself, couldn’t pull away from the need to chase this feeling, this surge of completeness that flowed through me from him. My heart pounded in my chest as our mouths moved together, as if we were both starved for each other’s touch.
But then, reality crashed down around me. Guilt swelled in my chest, and I gasped, pulling away—both mentally and physically.
My pulse pounded against my temples, and my thoughts spun out of control as I realized what I’d done. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, trying to untangle myself from him, panic rising. “I didn’t mean to…”Ryzen’s grip was gentle but firm as he held onto my arms, confusion flickering across his features. “What was that?” he asked, his lips swollen from our kiss, his voice breathless. “Why?”
Before I could answer, a shadow loomed over us.
Kaede appeared behind Ryzen, his eyes cold, psydagger drawn and pressed against Ryzen’s neck. The sharp purple edge flared through the darkness, his silhouette barely visible in the moonlight—a deadly warning. “Let her go.”