Chapter 6
Jane could not sleep as she replayed the conversation with Bingley over and over in her mind.
It was obvious that something Caroline had said had made him feel as if she found marital relations distasteful.
It shocked her that a maiden would have knowledge of such things or even more shockingly, would discuss them, especially with a gentleman.
It was just not done. With one’s husband, possibly, but a brother?
Unthinkable! How was she to convince him that she was in earnest when he was convinced that she was only “submitting” out of duty; because he had asked it of her. Did he not know her at all?
She had sent her maid to bed and sat before the mirror combing her own hair with a lovely silver brush; part of a set which Bingley had gifted her as a wedding present.
The more she attempted to think of other, happier, things, the greater the feelings of wrongness burrowed into her heart.
How could Charles claim to adore her and yet so easily accept assertions against her character from his sister!
She was certain that she had never so much as hinted to anyone, even Elizabeth, about any part of marital intimacy.
Certainly, Caroline would not even understand such things, as a maiden.
She herself had been shocked to her toes to discover that humans were no different than the beasts in the fields when it came to such things.
Her cheeks burned at the very thought, and she sat aside the brush to cover her blushes with her hands.
In all likelihood, Caroline and Charles had been speaking at cross purposes and had both misunderstood their meanings.
Of course, that is what happened. Of course, it could not have been otherwise.
She would delicately hint to him that he had misunderstood his sister, and all would be set right, she was certain.
There was likely no need to embarrass Caroline by informing her of the misunderstanding.
She would be mortified, just as Jane would have been—
Her thoughts were interrupted by the loud bang of the slamming of a door in the hall and the pounding of running steps brought her to her feet.
Checking the clock and seeing that it was close to midnight, she pulled her shawl tighter about her shoulders and went to the door to see if there was something amiss, worried that perhaps something was wrong with the twins.
There was a flash of blue and as she turned to follow it with her eyes, she caught sight of a great deal of Caroline’s flat posterior as the fabric of the negligée she wore was scandalously sheer.
She exclaimed involuntarily which seemed to give wings to Caroline’s feet as she hastened her flight.
When she turned back the way the woman had come, she saw the twinkling eyes of her sister grinning from ear to ear while Darcy stood behind her with a scowl of displeasure marring his handsome face.
“What on earth happened, Lizzy?” Jane pleaded, covering her splotchy cheeks with her hands, as she hoped for a reasonable explanation.
“Caroline thought that she might offer my husband comfort as I had done my duty in producing his heir and spare and he obviously had no further need of me, nor monogamy, I suppose. I saw her sneak into our room through the mirror in my dressing room and position herself seductively upon our bed…”
Caroline preened as she lay back on the comfortable pillows.
She was unsurprised that a gentleman of Darcy’s breeding would have only the best of bed linens and smoothed a wrinkle from the coverlet.
When they began their liaison, she would encourage him to redecorate the room with more flair.
There was a sad lack of gilt and crushed velvet.
She adored her time at Pemberley, even with that horrible upstart playing at being Mrs. Darcy, she snorted derisively unknowingly drawing the attention of Elizabeth who was in her dressing room preparing for the night.
“She would dare?” Tilly, Elizabeth’s lady’s maid gasped.
“I would put nothing past the gorgon,” Elizabeth chortled as they watched the woman’s reflection in the mirror, trying out various poses.
“She must pad her corsets,” she observed. “Built like a fire-poker that one.”
Elizabeth stifled another laugh. “Run and inform my husband that we have a, er, visitor in our rooms and I shall meet him there directly.”
Tilly hurried out the door to the former mistress’s suite in order to use the servant’s hall to reach the master’s dressing room.
There was a thump and an expletive which Elizabeth could hear even through the closed door opposite that made her grin and she stepped into the room just as her husband came flying through the door across from her with a thunderous look.
“Are you ready for bed, darling?” Elizabeth purred in her best imitation of the succubus in their bed. Her eyes widened comically as she fought a laugh at the thump of Caroline falling from the bed in her haste to hide herself from their notice on the far side.
Darcy’s shoulders drooped as he admitted defeat and played along with his wife’s charade. “What did I ever do without you, love? I have never in my life slept so well as in your arms, in our bed.”
Elizabeth winced at his wooden tone, Darcy was many things, but an actor was not one of them. In an effort to distract him she leapt into his arms and kissed him as she knew he loved.
She succeeded a mite too well and he groaned as he dropped them both onto the mattress.
“What you do to—" he gagged and sat up. “My nose is burning! I swear since Bingley’s psychotic cow of a sister arrived I have been unable to escape the nauseating scent she perpetually drowns herself in. She wears so much of it I begin to wonder if she is secreting it herself!”
Elizabeth laughed heartily. “She is quite proud of the scent. It is apparently of her own creation with a most exclusive perfumer.”
“Does exclusive mean asinine?” Darcy scoffed. “I have smelled cesspools with a more pleasing aroma. It is like a bog flower was pissed on by a vermin of some sort.”
“In the man’s defense, I have smelled it directly from the bottle and it is not nearly so unpleasant. I do believe that some reaction with her natural oder must be the culprit. In the bottle it is still strong, but not offensive.”
“Perhaps Jane could hint that she ought to bath in water instead.” Darcy grumbled, flopping to the side and burying his face in her curls.
“I hope she will leave soon so that Mrs. Reynolds may begin her thorough cleaning. I do believe that the large gratuity I offer her and the maids are the only reason they do not immediately resign when the Bingley carriage is spotted entering the park. As it is, they all refuse to serve her. I even heard Sally offer to empty chamber pots rather than answer the bell and I could hardly blame the poor girl.”
“I have given them all leave to ignore her if she is being egregious. Her own maid can fetch and carry for the lazy heifer when it is two feet away from her hand.”
“I was ready to marry anyone, even the scullery maid, to escape her pursuit, but luckily my heart found you just in the nick of time.”
“For shame, William! Did you abandon poor Rebecca to court me? She must have been distraught.”
“Seeing what you accomplish each day, I doubt that she would have wanted the position. Pemberley has never been in such good heart. All I hear from the tenants are ‘Mrs. Darcy this’, and ‘Mrs. Darcy that’. You had won their loyalty and affection within a sen’night.”
“What a sweet thing to say,” Elizabeth pulled him close and kissed him, only coming out of the sweet haze when their door slammed shut. “Oh dear, I completely forgot that Caro was in the room. I do hope we did not scandalize her too badly.”
Darcy pulled her up and they went to the door to peek out.
The hallway to the family rooms was unfortunately long and Caroline had barely made it half way along though she was running as quickly as they had ever seen the woman move.
Jane was standing dumfounded in her doorway and they stepped down the hall to speak with her; Elizabeth hugging her tightly as she informed her of the happenings.
“Oh, Lizzy! How could she? Her reputation is ruined! The audacity of offering her virtue to a married man!” Jane cried, tears dripping from her chin. “How will any of us show our face in Town again?”
“I do believe such things are common amongst her set,” Darcy informed them.
“They reside on the fringes of the third or even fourth circles and yet often appear at parties in the higher spheres. Most of the ton believe that they are trading favors for those invitations and laugh at them behind their backs for the airs they put on. Miss Bingley is about as virtuous as the barn cat.”
“Oh dear,” Elizabeth burst into a cackle of laughter, falling into her her husband who caught her into his arms. “That is an excellent description. She is constantly circling your ankles and butting her head against you for affection.”
“She is a sweet feline,” Darcy agreed, kissing her curls.
“I was speaking of Caroline,” Elizabeth replied with a strait face making him guffaw.