Chapter 9 #3
“I see,” Jane sighed in regret and understanding. “I am sorry that I was not a mistress that you could respect, Jardine. I will be ever grateful to you for opening my eyes to my misguided naivety to the world around me. I will be better in the future; more aware.”
The woman snorted inelegantly. “Unaware is a good word for it. When I said that all the London servants were under Miss Bingley’s thumb did you think that I was excluded from that statement?”
“Well, I…”
“Good, L—, you are as a babe in the woods!” she sniffed. “How did you think that the adder was so well informed of your doings?”
“I did not question it,” Jane admitted softly, looking away in hurt.
The maid sighed in exasperation and plopped down on the bed beside her feet.
“My former employer, Mrs. Darling, had a husband much in the pattern on Mr. Timms and the maids in the house learned quickly that ‘no’ was not a word which was said in his presence. At least if one wished to remain healthy and employed, not to mention employable should Mrs. Darling become aware of her husband’s philandering which was somehow never his fault. ”
“Oh Amelie!” Jane bit her lip in distress.
“I attempted to dissuade him, when he first approached me and received a black eye and a broken arm for my trouble before he took what he wished anyway. When the housekeeper found me, she patched me up and assigned me to dusting things, especially the master’s chamber each morning,” her mouth twisted, “which I could do one handed while my arm healed. I had learned my lesson well and it was the only bruises I received for several months. Unfortunately, it became obvious that other consequences had befallen me instead and when it became visibly obvious that I was enceinte, Mrs. Darling sent me away with a flea in my ear.”
Jane could not speak as the tears rolled down her cheeks and she covered her quivering lips with her hands.
“I was lucky. My sister worked for a lady who was on the board of a mother’s home and she allowed me to stay and even trained me to be a lady’s maid, but I took one look at the sweet babe I had born, and I could not send her away to an unknown fate.
They were kind and allowed me to assist with the babes who were awaiting placement while I kept my own with me, but there was a lull in births for several months and they most kindly informed me that I would need to find a position elsewhere. ”
“But your daughter!” Jane sobbed.
“I pay a family in Cheapside to take care of her,” Jardine admitted.
“After an untold number of refusals to hire a ‘ruined’ woman, as I had stupidly attempted to keep my child with me at first, I lied. I was able to convince Miss Bingley that my sister’s employer had been my own but that she had allowed me to marry and my husband had died in the war.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that she would read my correspondence and over the course of several months she ferreted out the truth, or at least enough of it to matter.
She was about to fire me when she discovered her brother’s intention to marry you and thus she held my employment, and the well-being of my daughter, over my head and I was forced to agree to be her spy. What else could I do?”
She shrugged in the usual French manner and stood, shaking out her skirts.
“I have been a blind fool!” Jane cried. “Is this such a common thing? Did my own husband act in such a manner? My father?”
Amelie rolled her eyes to the heavens, “Common enough, though I never heard of your husband acting so.”
Jane felt the burning in her chest rise, flaming higher and hotter until she was overwhelmed by the feeling. She snatched a pillow from the bed and began to hit it over and over and when that did not relieve the pressure, bit into it and screamed until she had no breath left in her lungs.
“How could they!” she raged, viciously batting at a lock of hair away from her face. “As if they did not have enough power over the lives of their servants! How dare they! Disgusting, beastly, PIGS!”
“You really had no idea.” It was not a question, more of an observation heavily laden with incredulity.
“I— I did not,” Jane admitted, deeply ashamed of herself. “I do not believe that I ever cared to know, for surely if I had but opened my eyes—”
She began punch at the pillow once more, “Stupid! punch Foolish! punch Girl!”
She broke down in sobs, burying her face in the pillows but when Jasrdine murmured in surprise at her distress, Jane sat back up eyes blazing.
“Do not! Do not comfort me! I do not deserve it! I should be comforting you and instead I am selfishly wallowing in my own despair. Self-absorbed twit!”
The last surprised Jardine into laughter which helped to restore some of Jane’s calm, a very little at least. “Are you leaving because you hate the very sight of me or because you feel you must?”
“I do not hate you. After watching you stand up to all of those cochons below, I knew that I could no longer stomach Miss Bingley’s demands, nor your blind trust,” she admitted.
“Well, I have eyes to see now! I do not wish you to leave, if you are willing to stay.”
“Miss Bingley will continue to demand information.”
“Then we shall give it to her,” Jane’s eyes twinkled with mischief. “Let us send a letter with Mr. Timms, explaining that you were able to convince me to keep you on and that I do not suspect a thing. Hopefully it will keep her from attempting to blackmail any others of my household.”
“Then I shall stay,” agreed Jardine.
“And once things are settled, you shall bring your daughter to Ivy Well. I am not one of those who believe that servants should not have lives outside of my household. Perhaps you shall find a husband, but until then, you shall be Mrs. Amelie Jardine, and your daughter will be the first occupant of the servant’s nursery we shall prepare. ”
“Oh, Mrs. Bingley…” she could not continue as her heart and eyes were so full.
“Things will be so much better at Ivy Well,” Jane promised fiercely, wrapping her in a hug. “Just you wait and see!”