Chapter 7 #2
It was a new kind of torture that Nally wasn’t ready for.
He’d undressed with Jude in the room a million times before.
They’d seen each other naked so much that it should have been inconsequential.
They’d slept together mostly naked more times than Nally could count.
But something in the air between them was charged as they stripped down and put on the borrowed clothes.
Nally couldn’t seem to catch his breath, and instead of bumping into each other and making jokes, the two of them were quiet and tried their hardest not to touch.
Jude knew something was wrong, too. Nally was certain of it when they caught each other’s eyes as they finished dressing. There was something deep and hot in his friend’s gaze that had Timothy energy in it.
Nally straightened from putting on the platform shoes Jude had found for him.
There wasn’t a lot of space behind the screen, which meant that all it would take was a slight shift and he could slip his arms around Jude and pull him close for a kiss.
It was absolutely the wrong thing for him to think, but Jude’s lips looked incredibly appealing.
He almost made the move, but the moment was broken when a trio of loud men entered the room to look through the costumes. Nally heaved out a breath in relief and took a large step back, putting on a big smile.
“You ready to get down?” he asked, fighting to make everything casual as usual.
“Just wait until you see my moves,” Jude said, snapping out of whatever spell had almost captured them.
It was infinitely easier to get on with things once they were back in the ballroom.
The regular lights had been turned off and the flashing, swirling disco lighting had taken over.
A ton of people had arrived for the party in the time they’d been changing, and the space was already noisy with disco and talking.
“Nice!” Jude said as he gazed around at the transformed space. “I love it! I’m going to get some video for both my social media and yours.”
“Perfect,” Nally said.
In actuality, his heart sank as Jude strode away from him. He’d blown it. Something was stirring between the two of them that they should have dealt with, but instead of facing it, he was letting it get so big that whether they hooked up or not, it was going to destroy the best thing in his life.
A second after thinking that, he shook his head and mentally kicked himself. It was all in his head. His imagination was running away with him. Both he and Jude had changed a lot since Timothy days. He really needed to get laid. That would solve everything.
Lucky for him, he spotted Gavin Martin standing near the refreshment table at just that moment. Better still, Gavin’s face lit up when he saw Nally and he waved.
Nally took a breath. He wasn’t really in the mood, but he needed to do this if he wanted to protect his friendship with Jude.
“You’re looking amazing tonight, mister famous film composer,” Gavin greeted him.
Nally laughed and lowered his head bashfully. “It’s all been a bit much,” he said. “I’m not used to the attention, and I’m not sure I like it.”
The fact that he was honestly spilling his feelings to someone who was just slightly more than an acquaintance was a good sign. Maybe all he really needed was to blow off some emotional steam.
“You deserve it, though,” Gavin said, talking loudly over the music. “I saw To Serve Him, and the acting is good, but your score makes that film.”
Nally snorted and brushed away the compliment.
He also peeked out into the room to see what Jude was up to.
His gaze zipped straight to Jude, like he had some kind of homing beacon and knew precisely where his friend was at all times.
Jude was standing with a group of hot guys, taking a selfie with them.
“You and Jude still hanging out?” Gavin asked.
Nally blinked, realizing he’d been giving his attention to the wrong person.
“Yeah, he’s my best friend,” Nally said. A best friend who had his brain filled with things it shouldn’t have been filled with. He turned back to Gavin and quickly asked, “Do you wanna dance?”
“Sure,” Gavin said, his smile inviting.
They headed out onto the raised dance floor, which was already filling with people. It was one of those dance floors with blocks of colored light that pulsed and flashed in patterns with the beat of the music. They felt a little bit like the bright, throbbing beats of Nally’s heart.
Nally tried his best to shove every other thought aside but dancing with Gavin.
Gavin was an amazing dancer, which he knew from previous parties, and he was absolutely Nally’s type.
He was in his thirties, confident and sure of himself, and kind as well as sexy.
It should have been exactly what he needed to pull him out of his head, but even as they swayed and grinded together, Nally kept searching around him for Jude.
Jude who had moved from taking selfies with hot guys to dancing with a pair of guys dressed like Tom of Finland. He’d handed his phone over to someone who was filming the whole thing. He stopped mid-dance to pose luridly with the leather-clad guys, too.
“Your best friend, eh?” Gavin said, leaning close to Nally’s ear so he could be heard.
Nally didn’t know why that was the breaking point, but everything came bursting out.
“He is my best friend. He’s the most important person in my life.
But everything has been so weird between us lately.
I want him, like, want him, and I shouldn’t.
It’ll ruin everything. Sex would ruin everything.
It already did once. We had a third friend, Timothy, and when he and Jude started hooking up, it destroyed our group, ended my friendship and Jude’s with Timothy, and nearly broke me and Jude apart, too.
But life has changed, I’m being pushed into fame, and I don’t even know who I am anymore.
Things are changing so fast in my life, and I can’t keep up with it. ”
Gavin stopped dancing. He had his hand on Nally’s hip, which Nally hadn’t noticed, but suddenly that point of contact felt like Gavin was holding him to earth when he was about to explode and ricochet off the ceiling. “Let’s take a break,” he said.
Nally nodded and let Gavin lead him off the dance floor. He glanced over his shoulder to see what Jude was doing. Their eyes met, and for a split-second, Nally thought Jude was worried about him.
Gavin took him to a marginally quieter spot in the corner of the room, but still within view of Jude.
“So you want to fuck your best friend,” Gavin said so bluntly that Nally jerked away from looking at Jude to stare at him with wide eyes.
Gavin laughed. “I think we’ve all been there at some point. ”
“I can’t,” Nally said. “It would destroy the best thing in my life.”
“Or, hear me out, it could take the best thing in your life and make it even better,” Gavin said.
Nally shook his head. “That’s not what happened before. We’ve already done this.”
“Timothy, did you say his name was?” Gavin asked. When Nally nodded, Gavin went on with, “I’m just going to assume, but you’re not Timothy and neither is Jude. You’re both your own people, different people. The story might play out differently if you take a chance.”
Nally shook his head harder. “I can’t risk it. Not when everything else around me is changing, too. I need something rock-solid that I can rely on.”
“And Jude is that rock?”
Nally nodded. “I can’t lose him.”
“Honey, I’ve been around the block a few times,” Gavin said. “I know you don’t want to hear this, but if you don’t take a chance and see what could be there, you might just lose him anyhow when someone else comes along to snap him up. Jude is a snack.”
Nally clenched his jaw. Gavin was right. He didn’t want to hear that. It seemed like no matter what he did, he was going to lose the most important thing in his life.
“Hey, you’re a snack, too,” Gavin said, catching his attention again. “Do you want to get back out there and dance your troubles away?” Gavin asked.
Nally swallowed. “Not really,” he said. “I don’t know what I want to do.”
“Welcome to life,” Gavin said, resting a hand on Nally’s shoulder. “But the good news is you live and you learn. You’re young. This is all new, I know. But soon you’ll be an expert at navigating—”
“Is everything okay here?”
Nally jumped at the sound of Jude’s voice. Without meaning to, he smiled in relief. He wasn’t close to being in a position where he needed rescuing, but that was exactly what Jude looked like he thought he was doing.
“I’m fine,” he said. “Just having a chat with Gavin.”
Jude looked at him like he could strike the man down with a gaze.
Gavin laughed. “I think you two have some things you need to talk about.”
Nally’s heart dropped to his feet. Jude looked as defensive as hell. The thing was, Gavin was right.
“Maybe we could go outside for a second?” Nally turned to Jude, pleading with his eyes.
“Yeah, let’s do that,” Jude said, grabbing Nally’s hand.
Nally sent Gavin one last look. He wasn’t sure he appreciated the way the older man was trying not to laugh, like he thought the angst between Nally and Jude was something funny or cute.
It might have seemed juvenile if you were a guy in your thirties, but Nally had never dealt with anything like wanting to get naked and sweaty with his bestie before.
He’d only seen Jude and Timothy go for it and fail spectacularly.
“What was all that about?” Jude asked as they headed through the club’s lobby and out into the cool, London night. “You two were having a really intense conversation.”
“I guess we were,” Nally said, fighting to work up his courage. “But Gavin isn’t the one I need to have an intense conversation with.”
“What?” Jude stopped on the pavement in front of the club and faced Nally. “What do you mean?”
Nally took a deep breath. They needed to get this over with. “Things have been weird between us lately, and I think we both know why.”
Jude looked completely terrified for a second. “We…do?”
Nally nodded. This was it. This was the moment he ruined his most important relationship.
But the second he opened his mouth, he was stopped.
“Nally? Oh, thank God. I’ve been trying to speak to you in person for ages now.”
Nally slammed his mouth shut and turned to find Andrew Quentin racing toward them, his eyes wide and desperate.
“Why haven’t you been answering my messages anymore?” Quentin demanded. “Is it something I said? You know I love you, Nally. We’re meant to be together. Why won’t you answer me?”
“I—” Nally had no idea what to say. He didn’t have a clue what Quentin was talking about. He hadn’t seen or heard from the man since the night of the premiere.
“This isn’t the time,” Jude said, stepping between Nally and Quentin. He waved to one of the cars belonging to The Brotherhood that lined the street in front of the club. “Nally isn’t speaking to people tonight.”
“But you have to,” Quentin insisted, following as Jude pulled Nally toward the car as its driver opened the back door. “We’re meant to be together, Nally, you and me. I love you!”
Nally was shoved into the car and Jude dove in after him before Nally could so much as catch his breath.
“Where to?” the driver asked as he got in, too.
“Anywhere,” Jude said. “Just get us away from him.”
As the car wedged its way into traffic and sped off, leaving Quentin behind, Nally’s heart beat like he’d run a marathon. Something was wrong, alright, but maybe it wasn’t the thing he’d been thinking was wrong.