Chapter 18 #2
“Still doesn’t add up to me,” his dad said with a sigh as they headed toward the kitchen, where Jude grabbed the keys to his car.
“Nally and I are silly buggers,” he said with a broad grin.
“That I understand,” his dad said, matching his smile. “I never had any doubt. Especially about the buggers part.”
“I love you, Dad,” Jude said, surging in to give his dad a hug before dashing on toward the back door. “I’ll probably spend the night at Nally’s tonight. I might not ever come back.”
“Thank God!” his dad called after him. “At last!”
Jude laughed. Finally, things were beginning to make sense to him.
Timothy wasn’t the problem, he and Nally were the problem.
They’d invented a problem between the two of them so they could have something to panic about together.
The panic was the point. It was the thing they shared, the thing that put them on the same page and gave their realization of being in love with each other an exclamation point that made it special.
And it had to be special to them. It couldn’t just be the thing that everyone had known and assumed for so long that it didn’t matter.
They couldn’t just ease into it, the two of them needed to start with a bang.
The drive out to Hawthorne House felt like it took forever.
Jude timed his romantic flight into his lover’s arms terribly.
He hit the tail end of the morning rush and ran into construction on the M25.
It wasn’t like him at all, but he found himself honking at fellow drivers, zigging and zagging through traffic in a way that annoyed everyone else on the road and got him about three cars ahead, and shouted futilely out the windshield for no reason.
It was getting close to lunchtime by the time Jude pulled into the family parking lot for Hawthorne House. He nearly leapt out of his car, dropping his keys in the process, and stumbling on the gravel as he tried to run too fast across it.
“Have you seen Nally?” he asked Rhys Hawthorne, who he ran into, almost literally, after letting himself into the house through the family door.
“Yeah. He’s about five-ten, dark hair, often in the presence of a piano?” Rhys answered cheekily.
Jude growled and all but shouted, “Where is Nally?”
Rhys held up his hands, evidently realizing it wasn’t a time for joking. “He’s in his studio. Everything okay?”
Jude dashed down the hall toward the central part of Hawthorne House, calling over his shoulder, “We’re complete idiots!”
“I never doubted that for a moment,” Rhys shouted after him.
Jude was sure he’d laugh about it later, but in the moment, all he wanted was to find Nally, his friend, his lover, the love of his life, and explain to him how stupid they’d been.
He heard Nally before he saw him. The studio door was closed, but the most beautiful music sounded from the other side.
Nally sounded like he was in his element and the music was flowing.
Jude loved the sound of his man, his Nally, being so happy.
He let himself into the studio without knocking, out of breath and high on love.
Nally stopped playing and whipped around to see who had interrupted him. “Mum, I told you—” His frustrated look turned to one of shock when he saw Jude. “Jude?”
“I’ve figured it out,” Jude said, unable to contain his excitement. He left the door wide open as he strode quickly across the room to the piano. “I figured it all out. I know why we’ve been so stuck with our relationship and why we’re jumping at shadows and freaking out about everything.”
“You know?” Nally asked, standing. “Because I sure as fuck don’t.”
“It’s okay,” Jude said, racing right up to Nally and grasping his face in his hands. “Everything is okay. Everything is more than okay, and I really mean it this time.”
“What—”
Jude didn’t let him get any farther. He slammed is mouth over Nally’s, kissing him so hard he made himself groan.
Nally was startled at first, but quickly joined in with the kiss.
Jude threaded his fingers through Nally’s hair, kissing him over and over, harder and harder, thrusting his tongue into Nally’s mouth.
Nally lost his balance and grabbed Jude, who pitched forward slightly, causing Nally to sit hard on the piano.
The discordant clash of notes was exactly what Jude needed to stop his frenzy of romantic excitement from getting out of control. He inched back enough to look into Nally’s eyes while still clinging to him. “I figured it out,” he said.
“That’s what you said, but I’m still in the dark,” Nally panted. “But I wouldn’t mind kissing you again before you tell me what’s going on.”
Jude laughed, then leaned into Nally, forcing himself to kiss him slower and deeper.
It was exactly what he needed. Focusing on the two of them and the heat between them settled and calmed him, like it always did.
Maybe that was another aspect to the chaos they’d created between the two of them, too.
They made each other so much calmer, but they only got the satisfaction of feeling that way if they were worked up first.
“I’ve figured it out,” Jude gasped once they were calm and wrapped up in each other. “We’ve already been a couple for ages, just like everyone has always assumed we are.”
“I know, I know,” Nally said, a hint of stress in his expression. “It would have been nice for us to know that.”
Jude laughed and shook his head. “We did know that. We’ve known it forever.”
“Forever? Are you sure?” Nally asked.
“Yes,” Jude said definitively. “But we needed something, we needed a sign, a starter’s pistol, a whistle blow, something to wake us up to what’s been true all along.”
Nally jerked back slightly and gave Jude the side-eye. “We’re not that oblivious, are we? And what sign or whistle did we need?”
“Yes, we are,” Jude laughed. “And because it’s us, and you know how we are, we needed the panic to see the truth.”
“No.” Nally shook his head, resting his hands on Jude’s hips. “We are not so ridiculous that we need to freak out about our relationship in order to know it exists.” He froze and his eyes went wide. “Fuck. We need to freak out about our relationship to know it exists.”
Jude laughed. He’d never felt so much joy in his life. He and Nally were so unforgivably awkward, but at least they were awkward together.
“That’s fucked up,” Nally said, laughing along with Jude.
“I think, my dear boy,” Jude said in his online voice, “fucked up is what we do.”
“Because it’s us,” Nally said.
“Because it’s us,” Jude repeated.
Nally tugged him forward, and they grabbed at each other again, kissing and drinking each other in.
It felt so right that Jude might never forgive himself for ever thinking it was or could be wrong.
Nally was his and he was Nally’s and nothing was more natural than the two of them kissing and touching each other.
Didn’t they touch each other all the time anyhow?
“I think we should mark this moment by going up to my flat and fucking until we pass out,” Nally whispered when they stopped for breath.
“I think that sounds like an excellent idea,” Jude answered rocking back and pulling Nally away from the piano. “We have a lot of practicing to do before we’re both competently vers.”
Nally laughed.
A second later, that laughter died on his lips and Jude’s smile vanished as he turned around and saw Quentin standing in the studio doorway. The man looked furious. More frightening than that, he carried a black bag with him and had a roll of duct tape around his wrist.
“Get your hands off my man, you filthy cheat,” Quentin growled, stepping into the studio and slamming the door behind him so hard the frosted glass in the windowpane rattled. “It’s time you both learn your lesson about who Nally belongs to.”