Chapter 29
“Jessie’s called four times, your daughter wants to see you.” Kathrine stares across the table at me. Today we’re in a different kind of room, everything seems a little more formal, and I guess this is where the fall of Jimmer Carson starts.
“I ain’t ready to see her yet. She’ll be mad at me, she’ll be hurtin’ and I’m not ready to face that.” I make that point very clear.
“You know she’s still gonna be mad, and hurting, whenever you let her in.” Consuela may make a good point, but I give her no response.
“So, how does this work?” I move on to the reason I’m here. Up till now, things haven’t been so bad, I got a spacious room, a comfortable bed and they’ve kept me fed on takeout. These people must really fuckin’ want me to give ‘em some dirt.
“We talk about your involvement in drug and gun running. We put together a statement, and…”
“You put me away for life.” I smile back at her sarcastically, and I can tell from the way she looks at me that she feels bad about it.
“I have a few questions of my own before I start givin’ up all my trade secrets,” I inform her.
“Shoot.” She sits back in her chair and waits confidently.
“You say these rooms aren’t bugged, why?” Surely the best way to catch a criminal is to monitor their visitors, and knowing I’ll be having a few over the next few weeks I need to know that what I discuss remains private.
“We want our guests here to feel comfortable, to build a level of trust, and sometimes the methods we use need to remain off record. You’d be amazed what lengths an agent will go to to get a confession.” I don’t know if that was supposed to be a threat or a promise, but I’d be willing to see how far she’d go. I’ve thought about the way her body responded to mine for days now, and I get the impression from the looks she sometimes gives me that she’s been thinking about it too.
“So you’re tellin’ me there are no cameras in here?” I glance around at the ceiling.
“None.” Kathrine shakes her head without a single hesitation.
“You wanna prove that to me, darlin’?” I decide to test those lengths a little for myself.
“I already did, yesterday, I spoke very openly about our arrangement. I wouldn’t have wanted that to be heard.”
“You spoke openly out there, not in here. How do I know those cameras don’t conveniently go on and off? Tapes can be edited, things can get cut.”
“This isn’t like any other place, Jimmer. This isn’t about small, petty crimes, our aim is to take down big organizations, like yours.”
“But you ain’t takin’ mine down, my club will still run without me,” I remind her. “And I won’t be confessin’ a word until I see somethin’ signed by someone very official to prove that.”
“You have my word, and the governor is happy to sign off on your terms and conditions. Any offenses you admit to will be punishable only by you, no further investigation will be made.”
“And once this is over you gonna call back your dogs and leave my club alone?” I challenge her, the biggest mistake this woman ever made was sleeping with me because now I know all her tells. She can’t lie to me.
“We’re happy to move our investigations on to other organizations,” she tells me. “Any advice from you as to what organizations we should focus on, would determine how busy we are.” She tosses a double-edged sword at me and proves why she’s doing so well for a woman of her age.
“I’m not a rat, Consuela, those who show me loyalty will have the protection of my silence, but I can point you in some right directions. We both know I’ve been doin’ a better job of cleanin’ up than you folks ever have.” I laugh to myself and although she doesn’t seem quite as amused as I am she manages the tiny hint of a smile.
“You fascinate me.” I don’t know if she meant for her words to come out loud but as her smile grows wider it shows a softer side of her that I wasn’t expecting. On the outside everything about this woman seems perfectly straight, but when you get your teeth sunk through the surface, you start to get a taste of something a little bitter. Consuela undoubtedly has secrets of her own, and before we’re through I’ll be sure to get a confession outta her too.
“Wanna tell me what ya find so fascinatin’?” I light myself a cigarette and after taking a deep toke I release the smoke toward the ceiling.
“You just are.” She shrugs, surprising me when she helps herself to a smoke and allows me to lean forward and light it for her. “You’re in here, about to give up your whole life on the outside, no more freedom, no family BBQ’s, and yet you can still manage to smile. A lot of men have sat in that chair, and once reality hits them they lose that.”
“I made my peace with my reality a while ago, darlin’. I’ve spent most of my life bein’ in full control, it”s time for me to let it go. My club is strong, my little girl has everythin’ she needs, and this captain ain’t going down with his ship, he’s lettin’ it sail on.”
“You”re different,” she tells me and when I stare back at her, confused, she decides to enlighten me. “Different to anybody I’ve ever met, let alone put inside. I understand now, how you built something up in such a small amount of time, how you break laws and yet still have people respect you. People who have you in their lives are lucky.”
“It ain’t always seemed that way.” I wish I could believe what she’s sayin’ is true but I’ve made too many mistakes for that.
“Look at the fuckin’ state of ya, Hayley’s gonna be home any minute.” I open some windows to let in some air and stub out the blunt that’s balanced on the side of the ashtray. “This place is a hovel.”
“Well, hire me a cleaner.” Mary-Ann giggles at me, sitting up a little straighter and fixing her hair. “Come on, baby, I’ll suck you off before your daughter gets home.” She has venom in her eyes and it makes me wonder how something as good as Hayley could have come from pure fuckin’ evil.
“I’m takin’ my little girl out for ice cream, I’ll wait for her outside. Clean yourself up before she gets home.” I march out and slam the door. When the car pulls up at the top of the drive and Hayley lets herself outta the back seat, I hold my hand up to Jed’s old lady before she drives away.
“Daddy!” Hayley races toward me. Nothing beats seeing the way her eyes light up every time she sees me. This precious little thing sees only greatness in me, and that is something I’ll never take for granted.
“You wanna head into town for some ice cream?” I lift her up onto my hip and carry her toward the car, ain’t no way my little princess is ever gettin’ on the back of no bike, not even if I’m the one ridin’.
“Do I ever! School sure dragged today,” she tells me, wrapping her arms around my neck.
“Well, I’m glad I can make your day better, we just need to make a little detour.” I strap her into the front seat and drive us toward Castle Rock. I may have convinced myself over the years that Joanne was right to cut me outta Ella’s life, but it doesn’t stop me thinking about her. I’ve kept an eye on her. I found out her name and what school she goes to, and I know for a fact that the housemaid the Walkers have, takes her to the park that’s a mile away from their mansion, every day after school. I’ve sat in the car and watched her from the other side of the street a few times. And not once during those times have I seen her look happy. Ella’s such a pretty, little girl, and yet she doesn’t seem to mix with any of the other children in the park. Her head is always down and it seems as though she tolerates her time there rather than enjoys it. It’s been a while since I checked in, and I figure a drive past won’t hurt.
We arrive at the park and Hayley looks at me curiously. “Why are we here, Daddy? The park in Manitou Springs is way better than this one.”
“We ain’t here to play, darlin’, we”re just checkin’ in on somethin’.”
“Like undercover agents?” She looks excited by the concept.
“Yep, we’re keepin’ our eye on that suspect right there.” I point to an old lady dragging her overweight Labrador around the path.
“Her?” My clever girl doesn’t seem convinced.
“I hear it from good authority that she keeps poisonous peppermints in her purse.” I shrug, leaning forward on the steering wheel and pretending to suss her out when really I’m looking for Ella.
“Poisonous peppermints.” Hayley proves she’s no fool when she screws up her nose.
“It’s true, and that”s why ya never accept shit from strangers, even sweet, old ladies that look harmless.” I let her think on that when I spot Ella, swinging back and forth on the swing while the housemaid who brought her here sits on the bench and reads a book.
My little girl looks so lonely and it breaks my heart to see it. Since we moved to the Blue Spruce Resort there’s been a real family vibe to the club, some of the brothers have even moved their families there and they’ve made the cabins that surround the lake their homes. I hate that both my girls have to miss out on that. Hayley gets to visit occasionally if a babysitter lets Mary-Ann down, but apart from that Mary-Ann likes to keep her detached from the club.
Seeing Ella so alone makes my heart ache.
“Hey, darlin’, why don’t ya hop out and go see if that little girl wants to play, we can stick around for ten minutes.”
“What little girl?” She looks out the window again.
“The one on the swing, wearing the uniform,” I point out, not entirely sure if this is a good idea, but feeling like they should know each other.
“I’ll wait right here, I got a call to make to Uncle Brian.”
“Who wears a uniform to school?” Hayley shakes her head.
“Private school kids do, and she seems kinda lonely, don’t ya think?”
“I guess… but what about the poisonous peppermint lady? What if she comes to us?”
“I got you covered from here, darlin’. One sniff of her openin’ that purse and I’ll be on her.” I wink and feel my pulse start to race when she gets out the car and makes her way over. Hayley turned eight last birthday and Ella is only a year and a few months younger than her. The two of them were never supposed to meet but I figure this is harmless enough, today they’re just two little girls in a park, and my youngest daughter looks like she could use a friend.
It doesn’t take Hayley long to work her magic, she’s never been one to hold back. And seeing a smile pull on Ella’s lips as her big sister says something funny puts a real warm feeling in my chest. I let the girls talk for a little longer than I should, and when the housemaid takes hold of Ella’s hand and moves her on, Hayley waves goodbye before she makes her way back to me.
“You have fun, sweetheart?” I ask when she hops inside the truck.
“She wasn’t so bad for a private school kid.” She shrugs.
“Well, it looked to me like you were havin’ a good time.”
“Yeah, she had to go home for dinner, they have fish on a Friday, but she prefers burgers and fries, same as me. She likes chocolate ice cream more than vanilla too,” Hayley informs me, having no idea how precious the information she’s given me is.
“Everyone likes chocolate ice cream more than vanilla.” I laugh as I start the engine.
“Which reminds me…” Her big brown eyes look up at me expectantly.
“Come on, let’s go get ya that chocolate ice cream.” I shake my head and pull away.
“Can I ask you something, Daddy?” Hayley sounds serious as we near getting back to our town.
“You can ask me anythin’.” I smile across at her.
“Do you kill people? I heard Mom telling her friend the other night that if you found out about her friend you’d kill him.” My blood runs cold and I’m all outta words. “Freddie Larkford told the whole class last week that I couldn’t bring you in for Parents’ Day because you were a murderer. He got in trouble for that,” she adds.
“So, he should.” I smile despite the ache in my heart. “Who was your mom’s friend?” I ask curiously. It may have been a while since me and her had anything but I still allow that bitch to walk around my town calling herself my old lady.
“I don’t know, I always have to go to my room when he comes around. I hear them sometimes, though. I think Momma does her waxing when he’s over because she always ends up screaming.” I close my eyes and grip my wheel. Mary-Ann should not be bringing men into my little girl’s home.
“So, do you? Kill people?” she asks with a voice so pure and innocent it puts a sour taste in the back of my throat.
“No, baby, I don’t kill people,” I lie to her, because I know from experience that sometimes lies are much kinder than the truth.