Chapter Twenty-Four
Emily
Emily rose early that morning following a long, restless night. Her pillow was soaked with tears she’d shed in the dark, and while her heart ached, she was determined to forget she’d ever loved Wylder St. Clair.
After dressing with Mary’s assistance, the girls made their way to Penelope’s room.
They helped pack her belongings. Once that was done, Emily sent Mary down to the stables to have a coach readied for the journey.
It was decided that Emily would explain Penelope’s departure, hoping the explanation would be sufficient to satisfy any curiosity.
“Mary will return here once you are settled in at the townhome. Remember, her cousin will serve as your maid while you are there. And I promise, I will come up with a new plan to keep this terrible engagement from ever taking place,” Emily said, giving Penelope a quick embrace and an encouraging smile.
“I will also be thinking of a way to avoid my fate, Emily,” Penelope replied softly.
There was a newfound glint of strength in her pretty green eyes, along with a stubborn tilt of her chin that heartened Emily.
“I’ve come to the conclusion that my parents cannot be allowed to abuse me in such a manner.
Indeed, I shall no longer be their malleable pawn in planning the remainder of my life.
” Her grin was apologetic. “But I welcome this interlude to build my bravery to the heights required to enact such defiance.”
“You will miss the lovely ball Mother has planned for Lucien and Charlotte tomorrow night,” Emily said sadly.
Penelope pursed her lips and shook her head. “You know how such gatherings intimidate me. If only it weren’t for my cursed shyness, I could perhaps engage a gentleman to show more than a passing interest in me.”
“I had hoped my brother would be that man. He has behaved so strangely around you lately.”
“I do not believe his attentiveness is anything more than a passing amusement. He enjoys needling me if only to see if I will snap back.” Penelope’s eyes flashed with a rare show of irritation. “I think he likes seeing me flustered.”
Emily laughed. “He can certainly be an annoyance. Is there something more to his behavior? I cannot say with certainty.”
“It doesn’t matter now that I am leaving. I’m sure he will forget about me with amazing speed.” Penelope’s head tilted as she closely regarded Emily. “What of the situation with Lord Wyldewood? What will you do?”
Emily shrugged, ignoring the stabbing pain in her heart at the mention of Wylder.
“There is nothing that I can do. He will not betray Simon’s friendship, and he will not admit his affection for me.
So, we stand at an impasse with no hope of resolution.
” She let out a heavy sigh and a rueful laugh. “It is over between us.”
“I’m so sorry, Emily. I can only imagine how painful this must be.”
Mentally shaking herself, Emily smiled broadly for Penelope’s benefit.
“I shall survive it, of course. I’ve pined for this man forever, hoping he would demolish the walls between us, but he will not budge from the belief that he is not good enough for me.
I can no longer fight against those beliefs and must now admit defeat. ”
“Perhaps I should reconsider and stay. I do not wish to leave you when you need support.”
“No, you must go. I’ll be fine, Penelope, and so will you,” Emily whispered, clasping the girl’s hand tightly and fighting back tears.
She’d never felt so helpless as she did in that moment, knowing she may not be able to save her friend from marrying the cold, cruel Lord Gregory Grant. “I promise.”
An hour later, Penelope and Mary were on their way to London as Emily watched the coach disappear down the long drive.
The coachman and groom were instructed to take her straightaway to the townhome on Curzon Street.
And while the two men were not specifically sworn to secrecy, it was understood that they must be discreet regarding their destination.
It was not usual for guests to be up and about so early in the morning.
When Emily stopped by the dining room for a cup of tea, she was surprised to find the new Countess of Ashcroft already seated in the adjoining breakfast room.
She turned with a smile of greeting for Emily and gestured that she sit beside her.
“Good morning, Emily,” Charlotte said warmly.
“Good morning,” Emily replied as she perched on the empty chair. Cocking her head, she regarded the girl sitting across from her. “I did not think anyone else would be up this early in the morning.”
“Oh, yes,” Charlotte chuckled. “Old habits, I suppose. Before I married the earl, most of my mornings began at dawn. There was always so much to do, and it seemed very little time to do it.”
“Is your life terribly different now?” Emily was truly curious.
She found Charlotte vastly interesting. The young woman had been responsible for herself and her younger sister for some time following their father’s death.
As the daughter of a vicar, her life experiences were so different from Emily’s.
“Yes.” Charlotte grinned. “Lucien enjoys sleeping in late, and I find myself enjoying it as well. But my father believed that idle hands were the Devil’s workshop, and so there are many mornings that I rise before my husband and have a cup of tea.”
“I love riding in the morning.” Emily sighed.
“Galloping across an open meadow, the dew still clinging to the grass and the sun rising to turn everything a soft gold. The birds are usually just waking up, and the sound of my horse’s hooves has them all twittering away.
It’s magical and something I rarely do unless I am here.
There are always so many parties and balls to attend when we are in Town, I don’t normally ride in the mornings there. Do you enjoy riding?”
Charlotte shook her head. “Occasionally, but only because Lucien likes it when I accompany him. I have the most staid mare he could possibly purchase.” A giggle escaped her, her creamy complexion turning pink. “He is always so concerned that I may slip from Athena’s back and hurt myself.”
“It’s not difficult to see the earl adores you.” Emily bit her lip. “I’m quite envious, to be perfectly honest.”
“He did not adore me when we first met, I can assure you of that. He considered me a dreadful inconvenience and an obstacle to his returning to London and the Rakehells.” Charlotte’s expression softened as she sipped her tea, a dreamy smile curving her lips.
“It all still seems unbelievable, but we fell in love, despite our differences and Lucien’s resistance to the idea. ”
“Was it—” Emily cleared her throat, hoping she was not being too inquisitive. “Was it difficult for Lucien to declare his love at first?”
“Incredibly so,” Charlotte admitted. “He did not wish to disappoint your brother and Wylder. It was very hard for him to accept what our relationship had grown into. It wasn’t until he thought he might lose me forever that he realized our love was the most important thing.
And he rode after me, found me on a dusty lane with Ashcroft’s new vicar, and begged me to become his wife. All while professing his love.”
“That is such a lovely story.” Emily smiled.
“Yes, and I know you wonder if the same can happen for you and Wylder.”
Emily startled, her eyes wide. “What do you mean, Charlotte?”
“Oh, come now, Emily,” Charlotte said gently, leaning forward to touch Emily’s hand. “The yearning glances that pass between the two of you are easily noticed by someone like me. Someone hopelessly in love recognizes it in others. And you and Wylder are most definitely in love.”
“No doubt that will come as a surprise to Wylder,” Emily said pertly. “He kisses me, then berates himself for doing so. The man goes from fire to ice in the space of a heartbeat. And I am the one left burning in the snow.”
Charlotte laughed out loud at that. “I believe Wylder is as conflicted as Lucien was before we married. They are both very loyal to their friends and do not wish to betray their solidarity.”
Emily set her teacup down on the small table with a defeated thump.
“It is far worse than that.” She studied Charlotte and then hesitantly asked, “May I confide in you, Charlotte? The only one who knows of my dilemma is Penelope. And she has returned to London this morning after falling ill yesterday. She did not wish to burden anyone with her care.” The falsehood came far too easily to her tongue.
Lying was not something Emily normally practiced but if it helped save Penelope, she would.
“Oh, no! I’m so sorry to hear this. I had hoped we would have more time to become closer friends.
She’s such a beautiful, sweet girl,” Charlotte said, dismay in her tone.
“I look forward to having you both come to Ashcroft Manor for a visit once Lucien and I return home. This past month has been a whirlwind of activity. I’m very much looking forward to being home once more.
And, of course, Emily, you may tell me anything your heart desires. I will not betray your confidences.”
Emily settled back in her chair, glancing around to ensure they were both still alone. She experienced a surprising relief at Charlotte’s earnest assurance. “Wylder’s life would be in danger if anyone learned of his actions.”
“Oh, goodness. Is it as serious as that?” Now it was Charlotte’s turn to be shocked as Emily nodded.
“Yes. And you see, the threat comes from my own brother.”
“I suspected as much,” Charlotte acknowledged. “Lucien confided in me that there was an incident last evening. He was forced to stand between Simon and Wylder as he feared they would come to blows.”
Emily sucked in a breath of alarm. Had Wylder said something about their relationship?
He’d been so angry when he stormed out of her room following their argument.
Perhaps Simon had discovered their secret and reacted badly.
“Simon believes Wylder is not suitable for me,” Emily said slowly.
“And Wylder believes it as well. He cares for me… I know he does… but nothing I’ve said or done has been enough to convince him that we should be together.
Further complicating matters is the fact that he is using Simon’s financial expertise to rebuild his estates.
Naturally, he will abide by whatever arrangement he and Simon have made, regardless of any feelings he has for me.
It’s a particularly sore subject, considering I am more proficient in playing the ’Change than Simon is.
Sometimes, he comes to me for advice on different investments.
” Biting her bottom lip, Emily shook her head before confessing softly, “Anyway, Wylder came to my room last night. We—we had a terrible argument during which I told him that our association is over. I will not seek him out, nor should he pursue me if he is unable to admit aloud what we’ve become to one another. He refused my demand and left.”
“Oh, my poor dear.” Charlotte leaned forward, her smile sympathetic and understanding. “Have you been intimate with him?”
Emily hesitated before answering truthfully.
“We have engaged in intimate acts; however, I am still a virgin. He would not… he never did anything to compromise me in that way.” A hot blush turned her cheeks red.
“I-I did allow him to spank me after he insisted upon it. It was a shameful act that I somehow enjoyed.”
Charlotte laughed softly and gripped Emily’s hand.
Her blue eyes sparkled with mischievous understanding.
“The Mayfair Rakehells share similar interests regarding such matters. Being mindful of your innocent state, I will confess that I found myself in the same position before our marriage, Emily. Lucien and I engaged in many acts that were just shy of actual intercourse. And you should never be ashamed of finding pleasure in what you likely regard as the oddest practices.” Charlotte’s creamy skin flushed pink, her eyelashes fluttering down as she reminisced.
“I confess that Lucien pulled me over his knee on our wedding night.” Her smile was tender as she sighed.
“It was a blissful experience. One I shall remember for the rest of my life. It may be difficult for others to understand, but somehow, that simple act conjures the most amazing sense of closeness and intimacy. I trust my husband in those moments with a depth that is truly astonishing. Especially when one considers that I am placing myself at his mercy.”
Emily huffed in relief. “So, I am not depraved for liking it a great deal and also hoping there is a chance Wylder does it again in the future?”
A giggle escaped Charlotte at that. “He’s a Mayfair Rakehell. You can be sure he will do it again. Indeed, he won’t be able to help himself. And if you provoke him just a little, there is an excellent chance you will gain everything your heart desires.”
“Provoke him? How?” Emily asked in confusion.
“Men such as ours enjoy many things, Emily. They love the chase. The capture. And they adore reaping the rewards. If there is an opportunity to save the woman he loves? Even better. And if they believe they may lose you once they’ve discovered they adore you?
That is a valuable tool you must learn how to employ.
” Charlotte smiled encouragingly. “Wylder is in love with you. He simply does not realize it. I’m going to help you help him to realize it. ”
“You will do that?”
Charlotte eagerly nodded, her grin wide and hopeful.
“Of course. Would you be willing to help me as well? Can you show me how you do it? Make money that way? You see, I will be opening a small school in the vicar’s old cottage where I lived with my sister.
And while Lucien has promised to buy me anything I need for the endeavor, I would like to fund it myself.
Without his help. However, as women, we have limited options available to us in terms of financial ventures. Will you help me?”
Emily’s mind raced with possibilities in light of Charlotte’s offer. At the same time, her sensible nature argued it was pointless to hope. Wylder would not budge from his stance. He was as stubborn as a mule. Highhanded. Arrogant.
And she loved him more than anything in the world. That love was worth fighting for, and if it meant trying again and again to make him see that she loved him, she would.
“I most certainly will help you.” She smiled at Charlotte and nodded in agreement. “Now tell me what I should do to win Wylder’s heart. Because nothing I’ve done has worked so far.”