5 Minutes Later
Dora must be outside on the balcony. That is the only place I have left to search. And if the conspicuous absence of the (supposedly) Honorable Mr. Farthingham is any indication, Dora must be on the balcony—unchaperoned—with a suitor.
I am the worst chaperon in the world.
To make everything even more terrible than it already is, Sir Sebastian (the man) is currently blocking the French doors that lead to the balcony, meaning I will have to have some manner of interaction with him if I am to find Dora.
In an effort to avoid scandal I have been trying to avoid him (a more difficult task than one would expect).
Yet I cannot let him or anyone else think I am avoiding him because to avoid him is to admit guilt.
However not to avoid him is to be guilty because, though I have no particular feelings for the gentleman, it has become apparent he has a special fondness for me or at least wishes to give the impression that he does.
Probably more likely the latter. Charming as I am, I think he just enjoys stirring trouble.
"Good evening," I greeted Sir Sebastian, trying to sound polite but not encouraging.
"Isn't it?" he replied cheerfully.
"No, it really isn't, actually. You see, I've lost Dora—"
"Not to worry. Miss Darcy is outside."
"Lovely, so could you just move so I can—"
"Why have you been avoiding me, Mrs. Darcy?
" asked Sir Sebastian with emphasis on my martial status.
I have come to the conclusion he enjoys flirting with married ladies.
What must be a thrill for him could mean absolute ruin for me.
A trouble stirrer. That is what he is. Handsome, charming but a trouble stirrer.
Why did life have to have so many complications?
"I had things I needed to attend to." I said in the most monitory, Darcy-like tone I could muster.
"What things?" he pressed.
"I've been very busy."
"With what?" Handsome he may be, but good at taking a hint he most certainly is not. I felt my irritation rise.
"With planning a ball, and being a proper chaperon—a mostly adequate chaperon—and not being at all scandalous. And in deference to that latter point, please move, I need to collect Dora."
"I am afraid I cannot. I am playing lookout for Farthingham whilst he romances your lovely Miss Darcy."
"Move," I ordered with sudden urgency.
"They are not up to anything salacious. He is showing her moths."
"Moths?"
"Yes," Sir Sebastian replied simply, as if viewing moths on a balcony during a ball was a perfectly reasonable activity.
"It is December. I have never seen a moth or any other insect in December."
In the sort of breezy tone accomplished liars use to speak absolute nonsense, Sir Sebastian said, "They are rare Arctic lunar moths seen only on wintry nights during—"
"Move," I interrupted, "Now."
Seeing he had no intention of moving, I fixed upon him with the Penetrating Stare of Madness. Just as I began to despair that I had lost my talent for ocular intimidation his lips trembled—though admittedly that might have been from holding back laughter—and he moved.
I stepped around him, reaching for the door. Sir Sebastian followed me onto the balcony.
"Go back," I ordered as I tried to nudge him back through the door.
"No, I need air. It is so hot, I think I will swoon," he said letting his weight fall into me as pushed against him.
I turned abruptly away from him and was pleased to hear his feet shuffle across the stone frantically in an effort to prevent himself from falling.
The balcony was not large and as I gazed across it, my eyes adjusting to the poor light, I was able to perceive two figures seated on a bench placed conveniently in the deepest of the shadows.
"Dora?" I called.
The lady surged to her feet at once and darted to my side, looking a little guilty. Even she knew this was not an appropriate place to be found alone with a gentleman.
"We were just talking," said Mr. Farthingham. He probably was not lying, there had been a proper amount of space between them and neither he nor Dora appeared disheveled or flushed, however I was not willing let him off easily.
I unleashed The Stare upon him. Gratifyingly it worked instantly.
"I am sorry. It was irresponsible of me taking Miss Darcy out here. It will never happen again," he babbled.
I nodded once to show my acceptance of his apology, then, grasping Dora gently by the arm, I said, "Come along."
The heat of the ballroom felt even more oppressive after having been out in the crisp winter air.
Our reentry did not go unnoticed, I felt the eyes of half the room following us as we made our way over to Jane and Mrs. Rose.
As much as I did not like their scrutiny, it was better if the gossips noted my return with Dora rather than my exit with Sir Sebastian.
Unfortunately Sir Sebastian did not seem to share my dread of becoming the subject of one of Lady Whisperton's witticisms. He appeared at my side not three minutes later, greeting me with far too much cheer and familiarity.
Mr. Farthingham, who had followed his friend, made a very formal bow to me before lowering himself into the chair next to Dora all the while eyeing me cautiously as if I might seize Mrs. Rose's cane and start beating him about the head with it.
That was far more likely to be his friend's fate.
"Go away, Sir Sebastian," I said, interrupting him mid-flirt. I was beyond civility at this point. "You are going to get me in trouble."
"With your husband?" he asked, seeming far too keen on the idea.
"With everyone. You will have seen mention of our imaginary affair in the gossip papers no doubt."
"I never bother with gossip sheets." There was a certain glint in his eyes that told me he was lying. He probably cuts out all the mentions of himself he can find and papers his walls with them.
I did not have time for this annoying man (I cannot believe I ever found him charming).
The current set is coming to an end and here Jane sits with no partner for the next and there, on the other side of the room far, far away, stands Mr. Bingley staring at her as though she were his saving grace yet making no move to navigate his way across the massive sea of people to her.
I needed to think of some excuse that would require us to walk in Bingley's direction.
A plausible excuse, because Jane will never come with me if she realized what I was about.
Every time I try to get them together she accuses me of trying to "force an unwanted acquaintance upon him.
" Unwanted acquaintance indeed! Where she got such an idea I do not know, but this whole misunderstanding ends tonight.
No matter what Darcy has said to Mr. Bingley it has not crushed Bingley's affection for Jane, that much is obvious. If I could just get them to talk I know all would be well.
But first I have to get rid of Sir Sebastian.
"You know, there are other young ladies here—ladies who are not married. There is one right there— Miss Bingley—do you know her? I could make an introduction."
"I only have eyes for one lady," Sir Sebastian declared with much insinuation.
"Then perhaps you need spectacles."
"Just one dance, and I will leave you alone for the rest of the evening. You have my word."
It was a tempting offer. I do love to dance and I did believe he would keep to his word. Despite his penchant for making trouble, he seemed like a man of honor (if one is willing to ignore the whole serial adulterer thing). But it would do my reputation no good to be seen dancing with him.
"I must stay with Dora, and Dora does not dance." I really must find her some dancing lessons if we are to bring her out properly, but presently I am grateful for her lack of knowledge in this area.
"Farthingham will look after her."
"I think she as seen quite enough moths for one evening," I retorted.
Sir Sebastain, apparently losing all sense, dropped down upon his knees beside me and said,"Please, please, pleeeeease, Mrs. Darcy have mercy. I am begging—nay dying, for your affection. Only you can save me with your sweet attentions."
All conversation around us had halted. People were openly staring at the scene and such a scene it was. I wonder if being slapped in the face was the type of sweet attention Sir Sebastian was hoping for.
"Sir, get off the floor. Your behavior lacks dignity," I whispered at him, seething. I had still not ruled out striking him.
"One dance?"
"No!"
"I will not rise until you agree to dance this set with me."
"Then you will be a long time kneeling for this set belongs to me."
Oh thank goodness. Darcy. I never thought I would be so happy to see him and his bored/irritated/tired/condescending/haughty face.