Chapter 25
Twenty-Five
Afternoon
"Darcy," I said as I jolted awake. My mind was fuzzy, still half slumbering. I had been dreaming of . . . what had I been dreaming of?
Something brushed my cheek. "Darcy," I repeated. He really was there. I caught his hand and pulled him to me, his lips were half way to mine before I realized what I was about. I was angry with him. Or perhaps he was angry with me.
I released him, looking away to break the hold of his gaze. In turning my head I noticed how stiff my neck was. My favored chair in the library was comfortable enough for reading, but was certainly not suitable for napping.
Darcy straightened, he seemed abashed as if he had been the one to demand kisses and then spurn them at the last moment. "Sorry to wake you," he said.
"Not at all, I had not intended to sleep here," I replied.
His demeanor told me everything I needed to know. He had not found her. I took in the state of him. He had put on a clean coat and shirt, but dark crescents beneath his eyes, his bruised knuckles, the smell of the streets which hung about him, belied his refreshed state.
I was not yet ready to face the question of Lydia so I said, "You have two new cousins."
"Yes, I've seen them." The smile these words brought to his lips faded as quickly as it arrived.
He crossed the room to stand in front of the fireplace.
I could not see his face but I knew he would be staring into the flames broodily, jaw set in that serious manner which indicated he was thinking deeply.
I knew whatever he had to tell me was going to be painful.
I did not prompt him though I wanted to.
At long last he turned back to me and said, "I've found Wickham."
"They are married?" I asked, dreading his confirmation.
Darcy shook his head.
"What are his demands?" That they were not yet married was not entirely unexpected. Wickham would wish to extract the highest payment possible prior to saying any vows.
"Nothing. He lost her."
"He lost her?"
"Sir Sebastian bit him, so he threw him out of the carriage. Lydia went after him."
"Lydia jumped out of a moving carriage to pursue a dog?" I asked incredulously. I had know she was foolish, but this exceeded my expectations of her idiocy. She might have broken her neck.
"So it would seem."
"And you have not found her?"
"No, I am sorry. I hired runners—they are searching for her as we speak."
His words were not as comforting as they should have been. Sheltered as I was, I knew there were parts of London if one went down the wrong alley one might never be seen again. Especially if one was a silly, gently-bred girl.
"Where was she last seen?"
"She was only in the carriage for a matter of minutes before she fled it. Wickham can make no claim against her virtue."
"Where did she get out of the carriage?" I asked again.
"Not far from here," replied Darcy. Evasiveness did not suit him at all. He had no talent for it.
"Where?"
"St. Giles."
That infamous slum. Lovely. I squeezed my eyes shut as if that would block out the horribleness.
"I have twenty men searching for her. She will be found."
Yes, but with or without her throat cut, that is the question. I did not say this, however, because Darcy seemed to be feeling guilty and I did not wish him to feel thusly. No matter the outcome, none of this was his fault.
"How did you get Wickham to tell you this?" I asked.
"I persuaded him."
Thinking of his hands with their chaffing and bruises I asked, "By striking him until he told you?"
"No, I gave him a hundred pounds to tell me his tale and then keep his silence. I struck him for my own pleasure."
A devilish grin played on his lips for a moment before subsiding as quickly as his last smile.
One could not maintain any sort of happiness when the situation was so dire, but that grin brought such joy to me as brief as it was.
Oh, how I love him. Perhaps there was some hope for our marriage if Lydia was not to be Mrs. Wickham after all.
I stood, determined to embrace him, to kiss him, to tell him I loved him even if this was not the right moment. Would it ever be the right moment?
Apparently not. Just then Saunders entered the room and announced, "I apologize for the intrusion. Mrs. Margaret Darcy is here, sir."
I could not stifle my groan. I liked Darcy's great aunt, but this really was the worst time. Margaret had sent me a letter saying that her friend had improved and the doctor thought she would live for some time, but she had made no mention of returning to town so soon.
We entered the drawing room to find James and Margaret seated side by side on the sofa. James looked as though he had been interrogated vigorously.
"James says Sebby is out for a walk. He is a terrible liar, I don't know how he survived as a spy," said Margaret by way of greeting.
"I was never a spy!"
"Yes, dear, I've heard that one," said Margaret patting her nephew's hand, "Run along and look at your children. I need to speak to my grand nephew alone."
I do not know if she meant to dismiss me as well, but I was having none of it. I took Darcy's hand in solidarity.
"You've lost him," she said once James had left the room.
"Yes," replied Darcy.
Before he could make any explanation I chimed in, "It is my fault."
"No, it isn't," said Margaret without even looking my way, "Men have all the power so they must take all the blame."
"They will be found," said Darcy with more confidence than he probably felt.
"They?"
"My youngest sister has run away with your dog," I answered. I felt it best to leave the elopement out of it for now.
Margaret nodded sagely as if this was completely normal. "Sebby has that effect on people. Everyone adores him. Especially young girls. It is a wonder he has not been stolen before."
Why she thought anyone would steal a foul-smelling mongrel dog with an abrasive personality I could not guess. It was true I liked him and Lydia apparently loved him so much she wanted him at her wedding, but most people did everything in their power to avoid him.
Margaret turned a stern eye upon Darcy. "Well, I am disappointed in you, Fitzwilliam. You ought to exercise better control over your household." To me she said, "I wouldn't worry, child. Sir Sebastian Shivershanks could always fend for himself, I am sure he will keep your sister safe."
As if he had been called forth from the ether by the pronouncement of his formal name, Sir Sebastian entered the room wagging his nubby tail rapidly and looking rather proud of himself.
"Sir Sebastian!" cried Margaret as the dog launched himself into her lap.
"Sir Sebastian!" Lydia called as she sped into the drawing room. "Sir Seb—oh," she said, spotting the dog in Margaret's lap. Her face fell. The situation was clear to her. The dog she loved was with his rightful mistress once more. Things would never be the same between them again.
"You must be Mrs. Darcy," she said with some resentment.
"You must be the young fool who ran away with my dog."
Lydia nodded, looking down at her shoes which were caked with muck.
She looked like a street urchin. Her shepherdess costume was so soiled one would never have known it had once been white and pink.
All of the bows and ribbons had been torn off and the hem was shredded.
Her hair, which had been in two plaits, was now mostly falling out of the braids in every direction.
Her bottom lip wobbled and all my anger at her dissipated.
Yes, she was a little idiot. But she was so young. Wickham was the villain of this tale.
"Oh, Lydia!" I said throwing my arms around her. I had thought earlier that Darcy smelled of the streets, but Lydia was worse, she smelled of the sewers, yet I clung to her anyway.
"It was so horrible. Sir Sebastian nipped Wickham, just a little.
And Wickham threw him out of the carriage so I had to follow him.
I nearly broke my leg getting out of the carriage because Wickham wouldn't stop it.
And then I couldn't find him at first. And then I found him but this terrible little man had him by the scruff and said he would sell him to the pie-maker if I didn't give him a sixpence.
But I didn't have any money so I hit him.
"He dropped Sir Sebastian and we ran away. I didn't know where we were so we just wandered round and round lost and no one would help me and these horrid beggar children started following us around shouting. They pulled all the bows and silk roses off my dress!
"It went like that for hours and I was so tired, but I could not stop walking because I was certain I would freeze to death if I did. Then Mr. Carter found us, he said Mr. Darcy had sent him, so I went with him and he brought us here.
"Oh Lizzy, I was so frightened. I thought it would be such a joke to run away to be married.
Wickham is so dashing, I thought all my sisters would envy me.
But he is an awful man if he could do that to Sir Sebastian.
I hate him," said Lydia. She finished her tirade and buried her face against my shoulder.