Chapter 4 – Leon
Chapter Four
LEON
It was hard to say if it was a blessing or a curse that Leon always knew when he was dreaming. In some ways, it made the nightmares more bearable, because at least he knew they weren’t real.
On the other hand, it often left Leon feeling like he was trapped in a windowless, doorless room, almost like that red room in the haunted house.
At the time, he thought the claw marks on the walls were a bit much, but now he thought he understood it.
Just the night before, he’d been trapped in his dad’s hospital room—the actual room, not the over-dramatized one from the haunted house—and he had nearly climbed the walls trying to get out.
Tonight, there was a new pounding sound swirling through his head, changing the layout of the dream until he found himself underwater, pounding on the window of Hailey’s car as it sank to the bottom of the river.
He assumed it was the river that ran below the city. In just a few short weeks, Hailey would be heading to the university south of town, and that river would be yet another obstacle between them.
Leon had actually gone to the same school, crossing that river every day as he went to and from classes. If he was a better neighbor, or maybe a better pseudo big brother, he would be helping Hailey get ready for school with tips and advice.
Instead, he was holding his breath in a dream, pounding hopelessly against her window, trying to free her before yet another accident he dreamed up took her away for good.
He really should talk to Kaden about the dreams, but after months of therapy he was pretty sure he already knew what he would say. Something about repressed emotions, unprocessed trauma, and crushing guilt.
He didn’t need to pay thirty-five dollars an hour for that. He also didn’t need to drudge up the dreams, Hailey’s accident, or his dad’s fucking decades-old death every other Thursday. He had enough to deal with.
Just like everything else in life, he was sure this too would pass. No matter how hard he fought it, life kept right on moving. The summer was almost over, and he would be expected to attend Hailey’s going-away party in a little over a week.
He still hadn’t gotten her a gift. He wanted it to be something meaningful and heartfelt that could say all the words he just wasn’t capable of saying. Every time he tried to open his mouth to say he was going to miss her, and that he hoped they could stay in touch, it felt like…
Well, it felt like he was at the bottom of a river, fruitlessly losing oxygen as he fought with the door handle of her car.
The pounding grew louder, and the cadence quickened, no longer matching Leon’s banging on the window. Slowly, the dream faded, and he blinked his eyes open, safe, warm, and dry in his bedroom.
There was a brief, glorious moment of silence before the pounding started up again, coming from his front door.
Leon groaned and tried to get up, but his legs were hopelessly tangled in the sheets.
He ended up half falling, half crawling out of bed.
By the time he managed to drag himself upright he had no interest in finding a shirt, so he just used the knotted sheet as a sort of skirt, covering his boxers and tattooed legs as he answered the door.
Hailey stood there, decked out in a university sweatshirt and braided pigtails.
She looked like a recruitment poster, and Leon very nearly shut the door in her face.
Never one to be easily deterred, Hailey slipped past Leon and headed straight to his fridge, where she pulled out a can of Sprite from the pack he always kept on hand for her.
Wordlessly, she cracked open the can and took a large drink. After she swallowed, which was distinctly audible in the quiet apartment, she tipped her head back and gave a satisfied sounding sigh as her eyes slid closed.
I called 911 already, but…but she…she won’t open her eyes!
Leon shook his head, trying to shake loose Trina’s voice.
For several weeks after the accident, those words had played on a loop in Leon’s mind, almost like a horrific song he couldn’t get out of his head. Over time, it had slowed, and now it was only once or twice a week.
“Wh-what—” Leon said, his voice cracking from disuse.
He’d somehow managed to skirt Aspen’s invitations the previous evening, which meant he hadn’t seen another person or spoken out loud since he left the office.
He hadn’t even talked to Yarmen, just cuddled with him in silence on the couch before collapsing into bed.
James had started on his long journey home while Leon was still at work, so he hadn’t been able to wish him a safe flight.
Thankfully, James had given Leon his flight information a while back, so Leon tracked the flight on his phone until it landed safely at the airport.
He was supposed to be coming over today, which meant Leon had a fair amount of tidying up to do.
He glanced at the clock and—shit, how was it already half past eleven? James could be coming over any minute now, basically just whenever he woke up and managed to shake off the jet lag.
Hailey took another loud drink of Sprite, following it up with an obnoxious “ahhhhh.”
Leon cleared his throat and tried again. “What do you want?”
“Sprite,” Hailey said, taking a dainty sip while she blinked innocently up at him.
He stared at her, trying to hold the indifferent, impatient expression that used to come so naturally to him.
The way she was studying him, he wondered if he still hadn’t quite gotten it back.
“I also wanted to complain,” she said, collapsing against the countertop dramatically.
“I thought I’d done all my research. I even used that ‘rate my teacher’ site James suggested, but I somehow managed to pick the absolute worst teacher for my seminar.
And even worse than that, I convinced Trina to take it with me! ”
Hailey slowly slid down the side of the counter, and this time Leon found his impatient tone with ease. “Alright, when you’re done being dramatic—”
“Don’t call a woman dramatic,” Hailey said, blinking big, doe eyes up at him from where she was still slowly sliding towards the floor.
Leon took a steadying breath, trying to ignore the way Hailey calling herself a grown woman made his chest feel like it was imploding. “You’re right. Let me try that again. When you’re done being more ridiculous than Yarmen in the morning—”
Hailey barked out a surprised laugh.
Leon rolled his eyes and turned on his heel, heading back into the bedroom. “You woke me up, so I’m going to get dressed, and you’re going to go sit on the couch so we can talk about this like adults.”
Again, his chest felt jagged and raw, but Hailey alleviated some of that pain by blowing a raspberry at his back.
He quickly changed into his own college sweatshirt—mostly because he knew Hailey would resent matching his “old ass”—and his last remaining pair of clean joggers.
He gathered up his dirty laundry and brought it out to the machine, pointedly ignoring the fact Hailey was still sitting on his kitchen floor.
“There really isn’t anything to talk about, just the fact that my faefriend is going to break up with me because I chose the worst class, and the worst dorm hall, and will probably pick the worst clubs to join, and we won’t make any friends!”
“Isn't it a little early to be worrying about clubs? Shouldn’t you, I don’t know, fucking start school first?
They put so much pressure on kids these days.
Join those clubs, these societies, get perfect grades—for fuck’s sake,” Leon said, shoving his clothes into the washing machine.
“Also, what do you mean the worst dorm?”
“We had the choice between two dorm halls, and I took James’ advice and picked the one closer to classes and farther from downtown. Apparently, that means I picked the nerd dorm!” Hailey wailed.
Well, yeah, Leon could have told her that.
And he would have…except he’d been avoiding her texts, and apparently, she’d begun looking elsewhere for advice.
“And the club fair is the second day of classes. James said he’d leave his phone on ring so I could text him for advice, but we already saw how that worked out! Oh my god, I’m going to have no friends and no faefriend and fail out of school.”
Leon chanced a glance over his shoulder and found Hailey pouting a truly Oscar-worthy pout. She hadn’t outright asked for Leon’s advice on anything college related. Anytime she managed to corner him in the mailroom, hallway, or elevator, she’d info dump on him until he managed to make his escape.
Why was she coming to him with this now?
“You should just join whatever clubs sound interesting to you. Isn’t that what they say? The easiest way to make friends is to get hobbies? So, yours would be something like ‘being a menace’ and ‘giving your elderly next door neighbor frequent heart attacks.’”
Hailey cocked her head. “What are you talking about? None of our neighbors on this side of the hall are—”
She narrowed her eyes at him. Once again, he tried to don that familiar expression, but even he could tell it failed. Hailey’s face softened in a way it never had when looking at Leon before this year.
He looked away sharply, his shaggy bangs falling into his eyes. “You could join a queer group. That’s how James and I met all our annoying friends.”
“That’s a good idea,” Hailey said, her voice much closer than before.
Leon tipped his head back and found her standing behind him.
Her eyes flickered back-and-forth between the washing machine and Leon’s face. He gripped the edge of the washer door tightly, trying to stave off the tremors that were starting up.
Thankfully, Hailey didn’t notice, or if she did, she didn’t mention it. Maybe she really was growing up.
Instead, she crossed her arms over her chest and stared pointedly into the washing machine. “Aren’t you supposed to separate your colors?”