21. Jamie
I thought they’d never leave.
As much as I adore Julia and Tom, the need to be with Scarlett is a little overwhelming.
The urge to have her all to myself far outweighed anything I’d ever felt before.
She’s gazing up at me with the most amazing steel grey eyes.
The sexy quirk of her full lips so potent that it’s all I could do not to pull her into my lap and devour her.
Over the last few days, I’d replayed our first kiss over and over again in my mind so many times that there seemed to be some kind of magnetic pull imbedded within my lips.
My hands slip around Scarlett’s waist, almost pulling her from her seat.
I need to feel all of her.
All of this is very new to me, these feelings towards Scarlett are exciting and scary all at the same time.
I don’t want to presume anything, but I hope this can be the start of something epic.
That was a discussion we’d need to have soon, but right now, all I needed was this.
The closeness, the intimacy and the feeling of being exactly where I needed to be were all helping to heal my soul.
Scarlett broke the kiss first, reluctantly I allowed her to put a little distance between us, but I kept a hand on her waist, my thumb rubbing her side ever so gently as she took a breath.
Her hand came to rest on my thigh, as she looked up at me through those sinful lashes.
“What are we doing?”
The inevitable question was thrown out on a whisper as she chewed the inside of a cheek.
She looked adorable, but her vulnerability shone through.
“I mean, what’s the expectation here?”
The soul-searching was palpable between us, the air becoming heavier by the second.
The last thing I want is for Scarlett to feel uncomfortable.
On a sigh, I squeeze her waist tenderly.
“Come here,”
I pull her gently, urging her to take up the space on my lap.
Scarlett moves willingly, settling herself on my knees.
My arms wrap tightly around her, trying with everything I had to make her feel safe.
“There are no expectations of anything on my behalf.
This can be whatever you want it to be,”
reaching up, I tucked her hair behind her ear, exposing her beautiful features.
I never want her to feel like she needs to hide from me.
“If you never want me to kiss you again, that’s fine,”
Scarlett studied me, silently urging me to carry on.
“But I hope to God, that’s not what you want.
Because more than anything else, I want to kiss you over and over again, but if you want everything to go back to how things have always been, I’m down with that.”
I want so much more, but this has to be Scarlett’s decision.
I’m well aware of how conflicted I feel, given that Tom’s not here for me to get his blessing.
I can only imagine that the same issues are weighing heavy on her mind too.
Scarlett’s arms come to rest on my shoulders, her fingers running through my hair sends shivers down my back.
Now I’m the one with goosebumps.
“I don’t want the kisses to stop.
The shift was unexpected but that doesn’t mean this isn’t something that I want,”
her hand comes to rest on my cheek as she looks at in earnest.
“But I’m worried that this is all some kind of reaction to losing Tom.
That maybe, in a few weeks you’ll regret all of this and I’m not sure I’d recover from that,”
she pauses for breath and I see the fear and confusion in her eyes.
“I’m scared, Jay.”
My heart clenches and I wrap my arms even tighter around her, bringing her closer still.
I lean in and kiss her forehead tenderly.
“You don’t have to be scared.
I never want to lose the connection we have; I understand what you’re saying though,”
she’s dropped her head to my shoulder and I’m worried she’ll be able to feel my nerves and racing heart.
“Hey, look at me,”
with my fingertips beneath her chin, I lift her head so I can look into her eyes as I speak.
“I never want to lose you, but I know there’s no guarantees in this world.
The last few weeks have proved that, if nothing else.
They’ve also shown me that I have feelings for you that go much deeper than our friendship.”
Scarlett visibly relaxes and her hands cup my face.
Her eyes sparkle as she listens raptly.
I can’t hold back my smile.
“Why don’t we just see where this goes? We can go at your pace and see how it pans out.”
Swiftly, Scarlett’s lips are on mine again.
Only this time it’s more than testing the water, it’s more of a full-on, this-is-all-I’ve-ever-wanted-kind of kiss.
I allow my hands to roam underneath the hem of her T-shirt, finding her warm skin beneath.
She shivers as she arches her back, forcing her body into mine.
My hands splay across her back, holding her against me while I explore her mouth.
Tongues tangle and teeth nip at lips as we delve deeper.
Her hands are everywhere, igniting feelings in me that I haven’t had for a long time.
My cock twitches as she wriggles on my lap and my hands instantly go to her hips, holding her steady.
I do not want her to think that’s what this is about.
Images of sex with Scarlett are now firmly implanted in my brain, and I need to slow this down.
I prise my lips from hers and move to place tender kisses along her neck before I move to her ear and whisper, “We need to stop,”
Scarlett moves backwards, increasing the distance between us ever so slightly.
She’s trying to read the situation and I sense the need to reassure her.
“If we don’t, I’m in danger of throwing you on this table and burying myself inside of you.”
My smile is as genuine as my words.
I can’t stop gazing into those steel grey eyes.
I see my future in those eyes and rather than scaring the living shit out of me, I suddenly feel the calmness I’ve been searching for and that blows my mind.
“I wouldn’t be opposed to that, in fact I think I’d enjoy it,”
she blushes at her words.
This is all new territory for both of us, but I want her to feel completely comfortable with this before I succumb to the caveman inside of me.
The groan that leaves my throat is almost feral. “Don’t,”
I rest my forehead against hers.
“Christ, I want you, but I won’t let our first time together be over your parent’s kitchen table.”
Scarlett laughs and it’s the best thing I’ve ever heard.
“Besides, I don’t know how long we’ve got before your mum and dad come home.
I’m pretty certain that finding me balls deep in you is not the image your dad wants.”
“No shit, Sherlock,”
Scarlett lifts herself from my lap, and holds out her hand for me to take as she stands.
Her hand fits perfectly inside mine, I’ve never noticed that before.
Standing, I adjust my dick in my jeans and grin as she raises her eyebrows at me in question.
“Alright down there, Jay?”
“Maybe I should go.
You know, give you a little space for a while?”
“I don’t want you to leave, can we head out for a bit instead?”
Now I’ve kissed those lips, that’s all I want to do.
My thoughts consist of all things Scarlett, most of them indecent and I have to force myself to focus on the here and now.
“I need to go into town.
It’s Mum’s birthday next week, you could help me pick something out for her other than the bog-standard box of chocolates I normally show up with.”
It’s not what I want to be doing with Scarlett, I’d rather be getting her naked and running my tongue the length of her body, watching her shiver as I devour her, but I have to calm my deviant mind for now.
“We could have dinner too.”
A quick glance at the clock tells me it’s now late afternoon, that and the rumble of my stomach.
Rising up on her tiptoes, Scarlett kisses me again.
“Sounds like a plan, give me five minutes and I’m all yours,”
her head tips downwards to study the floor, taking a minute to compose herself.
“I like the idea of being yours.
And being able to do this whenever I want,”
she reaches up and pulls me down to kiss her again.
“I don’t think I’ll ever tire of how that feels.”
A smile spreads across her beautiful face, and something inside of me ignites.
She could light up the world with that smile.
She surely lights up mine.