CHAPTER THIRTY
COLLIN LOUNGED IN THE POD, HIS ANKLE PROPPED OVER his knee.
If I glittered like a star, he was the darkness that blanketed the night sky.
My breath caught as my body grew too warm.
In the space of a heartbeat, the memory of his body against mine heated my skin.
His sapphire gaze drank me in, from the sheer skirt of my gown to the plunging neckline, like maybe he was plagued by the same thought. I shook it away, standing tall.
“So it’s Mate now?” I asked instead of saying hello. Something about him made me unable to be proper. I wanted to shatter his control, find out who he really was underneath his polished exterior.
“It is what you are,” Collin informed me, his eyes traveling up the sheer bodice of my gown, “and it is less personal.”
He met my gaze. The Pod lurched forward, and I flung my hand out against the glass, attempting to balance myself, and widened my stance.
He perched on the edge of his seat as if ready to catch me. “Do you intend to sit?”
“I was told the fabric wrinkles easily and not to sit unless I have to,” I told him. “You wouldn’t want your pet to look unkempt, would you?” I smiled innocently.
An exasperated sigh escaped him, and he rubbed his temples.
“To what do I owe the pleasure of arriving with you?” I asked. The stars and buildings swirled around us as we made our way through the clouds.
“We need to discuss our situation before this ball,” Collin said.
“I told the Illum that you have been actively spying for us the last two weeks, and that is why we didn’t have any public appearances.
That you felt it would hinder your ability to get information.
You need to sell that story to the Elite. ”
“And what information did I supposedly give you?”
“You don’t need to worry about the details. The Elite, while nosy, know their place. Just act the part.”
I huffed. “All about appearances.”
Collin’s jaw bulged. “This is not about appearances. You could be eliminated for your actions. Do you comprehend that? Do you understand what it feels like to watch people be eliminated?”
“Thanks to you, I do,” I snapped.
Collin leaned back in his seat, away from me. “Just follow their rules and the narrative.”
“What do I tell them about not being drugged by you?” I asked viciously.
“Many don’t know anything about the surface,” Collin told me.
“So you lie to the Elite too,” I spat.
He stared at me, and I fidgeted under his gaze. “Think of it as selective truth.”
I paused. “My HI said my supplements were altered to calm me after that night when you . . .” murdered someone.
“Yes, as a kindness to lessen the shock of seeing that. But your supplements were never to be altered like the others. I wouldn’t let them drug you, Emeline.”
“Why not?” I asked. “Why treat me differently than the other Defects?”
The Pod shot up into the sky, sending me off-balance.
I grabbed uselessly at the glass. Collin was behind me in an instant, his firm hands at my sides, steadying me.
His warm grip burned straight through the thin fabric.
The Pod slowed at a line of Pods hovering ahead, depositing Elite into the sky.
Collin released me quickly, putting space between us. “Does it matter? You wouldn’t believe me.”
“What reason have you given me to trust you?” I fumed.
“Just play the role or whatever you have decided to call this.” I opened my mouth, furious, but Collin continued. “I know you will not do it for yourself. You clearly place no value on your life.”
“Who taught me not to?” I demanded, stepping toward him.
“If you can’t do it for yourself, and you damn well won’t do it for me, then do it to prove your birth father wrong,” Collin told me as he straightened his jacket.
A sickening panic stuck to my skin. “What does Vincent have to do with this?”
“He’s been telling anyone who will listen that you will be the Illum’s biggest mistake and downfall, among other things.” Collin’s voice was deathly quiet.
Vincent placed far too much faith in me if he thought I alone would bring down the Illum. Still, an ache as old as my very bones throbbed wildly in my chest. “And what did you tell him?”
The doors to our Pod slid open. “He values his life enough not to say such things to me.”
Collin ran his hands down his jacket one last time, rolling his shoulders before he extended his hand toward me. I ignored his hand.
“Just take it,” Collin ground out.
“Fine.” I placed my hand in his, and I trembled slightly as we crossed the threshold. If Collin noticed, he didn’t say.
I found myself awestruck as we approached a grand staircase leading to a dance floor below.
I had been so distracted by Collin that I hadn’t noticed where the ball was held.
A translucent ceiling soared above us, and the night spilled in.
The room was stunning, everything a shiny black infinity mirror that reflected the night above, blurring the line where the sky ended and the ballroom began.
From this height, it felt like we were among the stars.
I wished I could dance alone like I had done in my room this past moon—to turn and spin until I became one of those stars and all my worries fell away.
Collin cleared his throat, and the dream floated away into the unending darkness. “We must descend,” he whispered.
We stood at the edge of the grand staircase. Everyone below gazed up at us.
Collin leaned into me, and I fought a shiver.
“I know you detest me, and you do not trust me, but I am not a danger to you in this room. Some of the Elite down there, they are. They would love to watch you plummet to the ground for the insult of being my Mate. So I am asking a favor of you tonight.”
“What favor?” I breathed.
“Do not fight me. Not here.”
Collin pulled back, but his scent lingered around me. He smirked at me like we had shared a secret. I attempted to match it. “Ready?”
I nodded, not trusting any of the words that might come out.
We began to descend the long staircase as every Elite in the room watched us. With each step, the sheer gown felt suffocating, the belt around my waist too tight. My palms grew clammy in Collin’s hand. He gave no indication that he felt my fear and anxiety.
I looked over the heads of the Elite for as long as I could, but then I saw him. There in the crowd, he didn’t smile. His lip was curled back. Vincent looked at me as he always had. Like I was filth.
I felt my body shake as the knot in my throat grew. Collin’s gripped tightened, and Vincent looked away.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Phillip, who stood alone in all black, share a look with Collin, and then Phillip was in motion.
I watched as women began to lean in, conversations uttered behind jeweled hands. A woman in a sleeveless red gown that hugged her curves glared at me with such disgust that I felt it to my soul.
As we neared the bottom of the grand staircase, Collin muttered under his breath, “We will be going directly onto the dance floor.”
Music poured into the room, and the Elites cleared the floor. My heart pounded as I broke out in a cold sweat. There were too many eyes, too many people, focused on me.
“Why?” I asked.
“It is what’s proper. You know the dances, correct? You have been practicing?” Collin asked as our feet met the bottom step. A fellow Defect raced forward, taking my clutch before disappearing.
“Of course I have,” I hissed back, frustration chasing away my nerves.
“Forgive me, seeing as it isn’t Rule Ten, I did not know if you felt obliged to follow or not,” Collin said so quietly, only I would hear.
I glowered at my Mate as he led me to the center of the room. The Elite gathered to watch.
“Look up,” he whispered to me.
The noise from the Elite and the music faded into the background. Above us the stars seemed to fall into the dance floor, some illusion or trick of the light. Yet I felt comforted, like they were winking, cheering me on as they danced around me.
“Now bow,” Collin instructed. I did as he said.
A new song began, and shock filled me as Collin bowed—to me.
It was the first time Collin had ever done so. An Illum was bowing to a Minor. Every single person stared, eyes drawn to us, unable to look away. A buzzing spread out over the dance floor as whispers flew.
“Ready?” The sapphire pools of his eyes reflected the falling stars, almost turning them silver, and I focused on nothing else.
It was a slower dance, the steps simple. I had never paid much attention to it, preferring the ones that were more physically exhausting. But as I grasped his shoulder and he pulled me close by my waist, capturing my other hand with his, the dance transformed into something else entirely.
Collin began to move, leading us across the floor.
Like everything he did, he moved with grace.
I fell into his rhythm. The spectators became a blur as I released Collin’s hand and spun.
The sheer skirt billowed and rippled all around me, refracting the starlight in a dazzling display.
I couldn’t help but smile, wishing Rose were here to see her creation in action.
Collin traced my breathless grin with burning eyes.
My breathing quickened. I told myself it was from the exertion.
Following the training, I turned until Collin was behind me, my hand outstretched.
Then I felt his hand on my hip. The other dragged along my outstretched arm, making me gasp at the closeness, the intimacy of the move.
I didn’t remember that part from the video.
I felt Collin chuckle behind me more than heard it before he spun me again to face him.
We were back in the Sphere when his lips had found mine.
I was too warm, something traitorous pulsing in time with the musical beat.
He smirked at me, clasping our hands above our heads. It was the man from those first dinners who danced with me, the version of Collin I had desperately wanted to believe in.