CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR #2
At last, Hal came to a stop, placing me on the ground. He held my face between his hands. “I would risk injury daily to hear your laugh, Moonlight.” He placed a quick kiss on my lips before pulling me into a room.
We entered a living area. Four threadbare sofas were facing one another with a large wooden table in the middle.
Guns, daggers, cups, and papers littered the table.
There were three doors leading from the living area, and in the far corner, there was a mat with what looked like fresh blood on it, as well as a round target with small darts sticking out of it.
A paper was tacked to the wall next to it with tally marks under each of their names. Gerald, it seemed, was the best.
“Sorry about the mess,” Hal said. “They were in a hurry when they left. No one slept last night. Welcome to my home.”
His nerves seemed to be returning, gaze darting from one thing to another. It tore at me, his concern for his friends.
I could be his entertainment—whatever he needed right now. I swallowed, approaching him. He stood still, watching me. I wondered if he breathed as I came up to him, my hand landing on his chest. I rose onto my toes, my mouth finding his.
I kept my eyes open as my tongue traced his lip, watching his eyes close as he deepened the kiss. His arm snaked around my waist, but I grabbed his shirt, tugging him into me, stepping back toward the sofa.
Hal broke away, his breaths ragged. “Not the sofa. There’s not enough room and Bri stashes her daggers in it.”
“Wait, she what?”
“Later,” Hal said, his lips claiming mine again as he picked me up and carried me into his sleeping quarters. He placed me down quickly. A loud scraping noise followed as he pushed two of the beds together. “I’m sorry it isn’t more,” Hal told me.
It was a simple room, three beds and a few personal items, but with Hal standing in the space, it was the most breathtaking place I had ever seen.
“I don’t care.”
I meant it. With him here, I didn’t care. It had never been about appearances or roles with him. I didn’t have to hide. There were no games here. No rules.
He smiled at me, his eyes darkening as he stalked toward me. His hand gently lifted my chin as his mouth met mine. Within seconds the need that had taken over in the tunnel slammed back into me with a force that left me breathless.
I tugged impatiently at Hal’s shirt. Hal chuckled and broke the kiss, pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it to the floor.
I looked at him, the perfectly sculpted muscles and planes of his stomach, and my head emptied out.
His mouth found mine again, trailing his lips and tongue down my neck to the tops of my breasts as he undid my gray shirt.
It fluttered to the ground, followed by my bra a second later. His gaze roved hungrily over me.
Hal lowered me onto the bed. He stood before me as he gently tugged on my pants until they too found the floor, and I was left in nothing but my panties. My breathing hitched at the rawness—the vulnerability.
“You’re beautiful,” Hal breathed, his gaze traveling over every bare inch as he climbed on top of me.
I felt it in my very being—I felt beautiful here with him.
His mouth found mine, but it wasn’t frenzied and desperate like before.
It was slow, gentle, like he knew. His fingers slipped between my legs, and he pushed aside the thin fabric, his touch light against the wetness gathered there.
I arched into his hand, and he slid a finger into me.
I moaned against the fullness as he moved. It was blissful, but it wasn’t enough.
“Hal—” I rasped. He broke the kiss, his starburst eyes finding mine, and he froze above me, his hand stilling.
I trembled because it wasn’t enough. I wanted him. All of him. Here. With the grid down—with all of us free for a limited time. In that freedom, I chose him.
Maybe there wasn’t a world where I danced with him in a fancy gown. Maybe there wasn’t a world where we could be together.
Maybe allowing myself this—allowing myself him—would be something I would pay for. Maybe every moment I ever spent with Hal would be laced with secrets and goodbyes.
“What is it, Moonlight?”
My heart swelled. I would pay any price. I would protect our secret, and I would bear the weight of every goodbye, for this moment. This choice. I wanted this for me. For us.
“I want you.”
Hal swallowed, his throat bobbing. “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” I said, pulling at his waistband with shaking hands. He covered my hand with his own, gently removing it as he stood and pulled down his pants. I glanced down at his obvious need for me. Nerves twisted around my desire as he joined me on the bed again.
“Have you ever . . .” he began.
I shook my head, afraid my voice would fail me if I spoke.
Hal pulled off my underwear. I lay naked before him, and he ran his hand along my breasts, down my stomach, before dipping between my legs. I arched my back, pushing the wetness there into his hand again.
“It’ll hurt for a moment,” Hal told me, nudging my legs apart and settling himself between them.
I wanted this. My first time. I didn’t want the Illum to take it from me.
“Moonlight, look at me,” Hal coaxed, hovering above me, and I did. “Are you sure?”
I nodded.
“I need to hear you say it. I need to know. We can stop,” Hal said gently.
I took a deep breath and grabbed his face, pulling him to me. “I want you, Hal. I want you to be my first.”
And if the world weren’t so cruel, my only.
Hal kissed me as he reached down, dragging himself up my core. Once. Twice. I moaned, gripping his taut forearms. He lined himself up, and I felt him nudge against my entrance. He slowly pushed in before he paused, giving me time to adjust to the new sensation, then he retreated.
His starburst eyes stayed on mine as he eased in again, a bit farther this time, then retreated. He did it again and again. Easing himself in inch by inch. Slowly working himself into me, his eyes never leaving mine. Until I felt he could go no farther.
He pulled back, hesitating for the span of my frantic heartbeat before he thrust again, seating himself fully as burning pain ripped through me.
I couldn’t get a breath in as I dug my nails into his shoulders. I closed my eyes, panting against it. Hal froze, buried inside me, letting me adjust until the fullness outweighed any discomfort.
“Look at me,” Hal whispered above me, planting a tender kiss on my forehead. “Are you okay?”
I took a steadying breath, finding his gaze. “Yes.”
He sighed as his lips found mine and he began to move again, the pain less demanding with each thrust. Pleasure slowly took its place as he undulated against me, grinding against the bundle of nerves at my apex.
He flexed his hips again, eliciting a moan from me as well as that need for more. On his next thrust, my hips rose to meet his. My hands wove into his waves, pulling his mouth back to mine.
Hal groaned into me as his thrust became deeper, quicker. I met his thrusts, and we fell into a rhythm until my body began to tighten, a pressure building deep within, burning me from the inside out. My legs wrapped around his hips, wanting him closer, deeper.
“Moonlight,” Hal groaned, his lips crashing down on mine as he drove back into me.
The pressure deep in my core built higher, consuming me. I trembled against his next thrust. Hal moved deeper, harder, like he sensed it, his mouth finding mine like he could consume my pleasure.
There was no prompting this time. There was no need for it as he thrust again, his mouth on my neck and release crashing through me.
He drove into me again—drawing out wave after wave of pleasure until I was shattering around us, dragging my nails down his back.
He groaned against my climax until he shuddered and withdrew completely.
I breathed him in, holding him to me. My chest swelled—heavy, an ache taking root at the thing I couldn’t deny any longer.
Hal placed a kiss on my forehead. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”
I shook my head, too afraid of what words might come out. At the emotion pulsing through me.
I took in the man before me. I felt it—this sweeping thing that had awoken in me, expanding wide, eating up all the space in my chest. Something foreign, the depths terrifying and unknown. The thing that had evaded me my entire life waited for me. All I had to do was fall into it.
“Are you sure?” he asked, grabbing one of the blankets and wiping away his mess before placing another kiss into my tangle of curls.
“I’m sure,” I whispered as he tossed the blanket to the ground.
He reached over, grabbing the remaining blanket, pulling it over us before tugging me into him. We lay there for several moments, my head on his chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat.
“I don’t think we have much time left,” Hal said, breaking the silence as he reached over to check a clock that sat on a rickety table. He turned back toward me, the scar on his left wrist visible. I reached my hand out, dragging it along the scar. The life he’d left.
I glanced down at my own wrist. It would glow again. I would be bound to Collin. Hal seemed to follow my train of thought. He captured my wrist in his hand and brought it up to his mouth, placing a kiss right above the chip that was hidden within.
“Hal, what if I just stayed?” I whispered. “What if I cut it out like you?” What if I fell into that expansive thing. Chose it.
“It’s too dangerous.”
“You survived.”
“I shouldn’t have. I survived because Barrett found me bleeding out,” Hal told me. “I didn’t do it right. If it hadn’t been for his quick thinking and Thea’s help, I wouldn’t have made it. We can’t risk it,” Hal said, running a hand down my back.
“But, Hal—” I began, the weight of the world above crushing me already.
“I don’t want to risk your safety. Thea won’t cut them out anymore. Too many casualties. And she is the only person I would trust to do it.”