CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
WITHIN AN HOUR, I FOUND MYSELF IN THE GLOSSY BLACK cage waiting for the Starlings. Two Pods had pulled up to take Nora and me away.
“Be safe,” she had said before climbing into her Pod.
On the way, I observed the surface. The fire had been extinguished, but billows of smoke still swarmed the city, obscuring the view, blending the divides between the different parts of the city until it was one gray blur.
The door creaked open, and Violet and Rose entered, their faces solemn.
“Has your Mate given any details of the fire?” Violet demanded immediately. “Any idea of casualties? The network is down.”
“The grid is fully up,” I told them. It was the only other thing Nora had told me this morning.
“I am talking about the network between supporters, not the Illum’s grid. I haven’t heard from Rajesh.” Bags sat under Violet’s eyes.
“My Mate didn’t say. Only that the Illum are furious. People died, but I don’t know how many casualties.”
Violet sucked in a deep breath, her hand finding her chest.
Rose clutched her arm. “Vi, it was a Reaper-led attack. He would have done everything he could to protect his people. Rajesh is trained for this.”
The fog in my head lifted at her statement. “The Reaper wasn’t down there.”
“Of course he was,” Violet stated. “This was his plan.”
I bit my lip. “He wasn’t. I was with him.”
They fell silent, watching me. Rose recovered first, opening the door to the bathing room, steam swirling. “We must hurry.”
“You were with him?” Violet asked incredulously. “He identified himself to you?”
I nodded.
“That cannot be right,” Violet said. “He would never stay behind for a woman. Nor would he reveal himself to someone tied to the Illum. You’re wrong.”
“I’m not,” I assured her.
“No,” Violet protested. “This is his first successful attack since the Last War. He bested the Illum. He wouldn’t stay behind.”
“He’s still injured,” I confided.
Violet crossed her arms. “He isn’t injured. That was a farce.”
“It isn’t. Also, his success came at the expense of innocent people’s lives.”
“That is a necessary by-product of the cause,” Violet said.
“A by-product?” I ejected furiously. “A by-product? They are humans.”
“You support him.”
“Maybe I don’t believe in the Reaper’s methods now,” I said plainly. “Maybe I don’t respect him anymore.”
Rose watched me, her body tense. Did she agree with me?
“Respect him? Fledgling, he is taking down the system. He is giving us power.”
“What is the cost of that power? Is the power worth Rajesh?” I demanded. “Is it worth Minors’ lives who had the misfortune of having chips placed in their wrists? He’s hurting people, Violet.”
“So are the Illum!” she seethed. “What is the cost of keeping things the way they are, Fledgling? Women as vessels?”
“That doesn’t make it right.” Why didn’t anyone else see it?
“Rajesh would give his life for our freedom.”
“Would you? Is the freedom worth it if you lose those you love?” I demanded, staring at Rose.
“In this world, in their world, we aren’t permitted such things,” Violet spat, stepping in front of Rose. “If I have to destroy my soul to change that, then I will.”
“It doesn’t give Hal the right to stoop to their level!” I declared, my anger bursting through.
Violet fell silent. “What about Hal?”
“He—” I stopped myself.
“That’s who you were with yesterday?” Violet asked, her dark eyes wide.
“He’s the one Rajesh talks about, right?” Rose whispered. “Wasn’t he the one behind the dress?”
“What?” My voice trembled. “The blue dress?”
Violet stared at me, her eyes slits. “Yes. He brought it to level the playing field, then played the hero, apparently.”
My anger winked out. It had been a game all along.
Rose grabbed my hand and led me into the steam room. “We have wasted too much time. We cannot be late tonight. The Illum are up to something with the ball. We all know this. We must hurry.”
In what felt like seconds and yet a lifetime, I found myself on the podium, fully dressed for whatever awaited. No other words were spoken during the rest of the appointment. An air of tangible dread followed us room to room.
The gown was a work of art and a labor of love. I was unworthy of it. The off-the-shoulder dress was utterly sheer and nude, bedecked with thousands upon thousands of crystals. All of me on display.
My eyes burned from the beauty of it, so at odds with the ugliness I felt plagued by. I spun, looking over my shoulder at the back, the crystals artfully placed. It was as if Rose had captured the stars I had once wished to be.
All the beauty, and I felt none of it.
Violet stepped onto the podium, fastening the large oval diamonds to my ears as I felt a tug on my dress.
I glanced down to see Rose crouched on the ground, attempting to add more crystals.
“Leave it,” Violet urged. “No one will notice it isn’t done.”
“They notice everything. There are supposed to be more crystals. I was supposed to have another ten days.” Rose added another crystal toward the bottom of the gown. “The Illum will be there, and it isn’t done.”
Violet grabbed her arm, and Rose came to stand. Violet pulled her in close.
“It is time. I will see her out,” Rose said. Violet didn’t fight it as she released Rose and left the room.
“I ask—no, I beg you, do not betray us to the Illum. Please, I love her.” Rose glanced back at Violet. Tears fell as she confessed, “It isn’t worth it to me. Freedom. Without her, it isn’t worth it.”
I didn’t remember leaving. I didn’t hear Harold’s goodbye or what the man in dark gray said as I arrived in the antechamber I knew had a large glass vase of white lilies. Collin’s entertainment quarters.
The doors beneath the stairs stood open, the Elite conversing beyond, but I turned right. I wasn’t aware of where I was going until I found myself in a two-story office filled with moonlight. I walked to the windows and stared at the moon through the lingering smoke. The stars were hidden.
“Emeline,” a honey voice called.
“Nora,” I stated, turning to where she stood beneath the spear light fixture dangling above her like a cage. She wore a black silk gown with an asymmetrical draped neckline and a high slit. Her midnight hair was braided around her crown while diamond-and-gold earrings snaked up her ears.
“I am aware of why I am in mourning, but why are you?”
I had spent my entire existence quieting the questions I always had. Now I found myself unable to hide them. “Did you mean it? Yesterday, with Gregory?”
Nora looked at me sadly. “I must. Phillip was right. I need to think of my offspring. If there were something I could do to keep him, I would. Something to make it different this time.”
“This time?” I asked. How many times had they gone through this? How did she have the strength to keep going?
“Yes, but he will come back despite common sense and reason. He always comes back when I cannot remember.”
“Do you believe in the Greater Good?” I asked.
Nora methodically rifled through several papers on Collin’s desk.
“I have always hated this office. I don’t know how he stands it.
” She pushed the papers aside and perched on the desk, staring at the empty shelves, but they weren’t empty.
The moon’s light reflected off small orbs strewed on the shelves.
Nora looked toward me. “That depends on which Greater Good you’re referring to. Theirs or ours.”
“There is more than one?”
“Of course. It’s all just a matter of perspective, Emeline.”
Unease found me, but I pressed on, asking the question I really wanted to know from the only person I had ever met who saw people, not status. Who had told me we might be more alike than different. Who had seen my defect and embraced me. The only person I had ever known who seemed curious.
“What do you think of the Reaper?”
Nora looked from me to the windows and back, idly messing with the edge of a paper on Collin’s desk.
“Some days I think the Reaper has the right idea,” Nora whispered so quietly I had to lean in to hear her.
“You saw the fire.”
“Yes, but I have seen other things too. Evil flourishes when no one stands up to it. It isn’t heroic to confront it.
It is horrifying. I think the Reaper is tired of being told who to be and watching everyone around them be told the same.
I think the Reaper is willing to destroy themselves if it saves others. ”
“Do you support him?” I asked quietly.
“It’s all just lines in the sand, Emeline. Given the right motivation, people cross them. We should head in before Collin sends Phillip to come and fetch us. I don’t need another lecture from him.” Nora hopped off the desk and waited for me by the door, her arm outstretched.
I approached her, my thoughts spinning. “Nora, you never called the Reaper a man.”
She threaded her arm in mine as we left the office. “Who says it has to be a man? Maybe a woman is tired of being a vessel.”
I stared at her, eyes wide, questions pressing against my skin.
Nora pulled me into the ballroom before coming to an abrupt halt.
I tracked her eyes to the dance floor. Gregory turned Lo, a beaming ray of sunshine in a pale pink strapless gown.
How had she gotten into the clouds so quickly?
She looked at home among the Elite. Gregory spun her, and she locked eyes with me, smiling. I attempted to smile back.
“It’s quick, is it not? Her being in the clouds?”
“Are you okay?” I asked Nora.
“It doesn’t make sense. She shouldn’t be here yet.”
Unease churned in my stomach. “Where is Collin?” I asked.
“Wherever the Illum are. He is here as one of them tonight.”
“Where are your keepers this evening?” a voice drawled to my left. I turned to find Vincent standing before us.
“You forget your place, Vincent,” Nora said quietly, her fierceness ablaze.
“Perhaps my place has become of higher value thanks to the information I have given the Illum. Such an insignificant task turned out to be quite fruitful.” Vincent followed Nora’s gaze. “A good pair, are they not? He is where he belongs for the Greater Good.”
Collin appeared at my side. “Vincent, sister,” Collin said, his jaw tight.
“Collin, what a wonderful ball you have put together.”
He inclined his head at my birth father, then whispered to me, “We are expected to dance now.”
“Right now?” I muttered. “The crystals on the gown are heavy.”
Collin rolled his shoulders, taking my hand. “It wasn’t an offer.”
Collin steered me onto the dance floor as a new song began. I recognized it immediately. It was my favorite, the one with the most spins and changing partners.
I looked to my left to see William and Nora dancing as well, and to my right, Lo and Gregory.
My heart raced as I bowed to Collin. He barely moved his head in a bow to me before he grabbed my hand. His other hand found my waist as we began to move. The man who considered a way out wasn’t before me. Cold, calculating power held me.
My brows knitted together as he spun me once before capturing me back in his arms.
“You’re a spy,” Collin stated, an absoluteness to his words as he led.
I tried to talk, but the words never came out. Which spy was he referring to? Was he seeking confirmation on what the rebellion had asked of me, or reminding me of the role he had told everyone in this room?
“It is the reason you are in this position right now,” Collin said under his breath, something too cold to be anger lacing each word. His hold on my hand tightened. “You breathe because of it.”
A movement behind Collin’s shoulder caught my attention, but as Collin spun me, I lost sight of it. My breaths sawed out of my chest.
He pulled me back in tightly, his voice dropping low. “I did tell you it isn’t pleasant what happens to those who don’t follow the Illum?”
“What?” I asked, my covered defect colliding with churning sapphire pools.
His grip tightened on my lower back. The countless crystals dug into my skin as the music swelled. I was spun to the man on my left. Collin tracked me as he danced with Lo.
“You look lovely this evening, Emeline,” I heard William say. “The Illum’s sparkling jewel.”
I mumbled a thanks, unable to look away.
William chuckled. “One more spin, and you will be back with your dear Mate.”
I spun, landing back in Collin’s arms. “Why couldn’t you value your life?” he said at my ear in a deadly whisper.
“Collin, I don’t know what you—”
“The act is up, Emeline.” He spun me again, this time right into my brother’s arms, my fear now a tangible thing, a cold sweat coating me. The voices from the Elite surrounding the dance floor seemed to grow louder.
“Are you okay, little sister?” I looked between Gregory and Collin. My skin too tight—the crystals too heavy. Gregory leaned in. “Talk quickly.”
“I messed up,” spilled from my trembling lips. “I didn’t listen to you. They’re a step ahead of me. They know, brother.” It was the first time I had used the word. The room was moving too quickly, the brightly colored gowns and jewels a blur.
“Find me after this dance.” The words floated with me as I spun back to Collin.
Collin held me firmly, the crystals a million tiny knives on my skin. “The crystals, it hurts,” I breathed, arching my back.
Collin took advantage, leaning in. To any spectators, it looked like a lover’s embrace—two people who needed to be close.
“You do not know pain yet, Emeline.” His lips brushed my jaw. “But you’re about to, and I cannot stop it.”
The music swelled. I knew the series of spins were coming. The final moments of the dance.
The Starlings had said to be on the lookout. To stay alert.
“What about a way out?” I breathed desperately.
Collin shook his head. “There is no way out. It’s what I’ve been telling you this entire time.”
He spun me. My head whipped around. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Ag—
Chaos erupted off the dance floor. On my final turn, I landed in Collin’s arms, and we spun toward the commotion. The music had stopped.
Voices filled the room.
What is going on?
It’s the rebels.
“You’re a spy, Emeline,” Collin whispered in my ear. His arm wrapped tightly around my waist. “It is not only your life that relies on it.”
They’ve got the Reaper.
Don’t let the others get away.
I couldn’t breathe. Several people lay on the ground unconscious or worse—I didn’t know. Two members of the Elite Force wrestled one of their own to the ground. Others rushed to help.
A knee slammed into the person’s gut.
I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t breathe as one of the soldiers removed the helmet.
The world tilted off its axis as my heart hurtled to the ground forever below. Starburst eyes met mine.
“Act, Moonlight,” Collin warned. I sucked in a sharp breath.
I stood paralyzed, my heart no longer in my chest, as they dragged Hal from the room.