Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
She’d had to explain the name of her car. What was up with that? It was perfectly obvious… green car, Guacamole. Simple.
She worried her bottom lip with her teeth. Did he think she was weird? Hopefully not, because he was the smartest person she knew. So, if he thought she was weird, then she was. And no one wanted to hang around someone who was weird.
One of the things she’d looked forward to the most in moving back to Darling, other than finally having Winnie back in her life, was fitting in.
Darling was a town for Littles and their Daddies and Mommies, for fudge’s sake.
This was supposed to be the place where people like her belonged, where nobody blinked when a grown woman cuddled a stuffie or colored with glitter pens.
If she didn’t fit in here, she might as well give up.
That thought sobered her right into her Big headspace. Mary and Miranda didn’t talk to her in her Big headspace. Her Big space was lonely. The only reason she loved it was that she could take care of Sadie, Sophie, and Nori there.
She stayed in Big space for them. Well, she tried. Sometimes it was hard. The weight of being the responsible one pressed down on her chest until she could barely breathe.
“Sorry,” she said. “I appreciate you stopping to help, but I’ll figure it out. I know you have a meeting to get to. I wouldn’t want to hold you up. If you don’t mind, could you please tell Winnie what happened and that I’ll call her as soon as I can?”
She did her best to make her voice come out polite and determined, the way it did when she was trying very hard to be a capable adult. But all her words earned her was another frown. No, not a frown, a scowl. Seriously, the man could scowl like it was an Olympic sport. What had she done wrong now?
Connor studied her through narrowed eyes before glancing back at her car. Glaring at her, he snarled, “Don’t move.” He grabbed the key to her car from the ignition and opened the trunk.
Thank goodness her spare tire wasn’t visible until the storage compartment was opened. She stepped toward him. “You don’t have to do that. I’ll take care of it.” Even if she had absolutely no idea how.
She hadn’t realized he could narrow his eyes any further, but he could. He pointed to the ground at her feet. “If you move from that spot, you will be one very sorry Little girl.”
A shiver scraped across her entire body and settled between her thighs.
As her pussy pulsed, her Little tried to take back over.
She couldn’t let that happen. She was an adult, and as such, she could handle her own problem.
Somehow. Even if her body seemed determined to betray her every time he used that tone.
She didn’t move from her spot. Apparently, her survival instincts were stronger than her pride. Connor pulled the carpet away and spun the screw thingy to get the cover off the spare tire. Dread skittered like hundreds of spiders across her skin, cold and prickly and impossible to ignore.
She glanced at his shiny black muscle car that must have cost a fortune.
He probably thought everyone should drive around in a souped-up hotrod.
Well, some people had other priorities, like diapers, formulas, and electricity bills.
She had those other priorities. She had to pay for all those things, not to mention the endless parade of baby wipes and laundry detergent that came with three little girls.
Of course, a car like that had other uses. She’d read more than one book where the Daddy had bent his Little girl over the hood of their car and pounded into her from behind until she saw stars.
Connor grabbed the cover of the spare tire well, and that shiver snaked up her spine. He noticed, of course, and quirked a brow. “You cold, Trouble? Let me get your tire changed for you. Then you can be on your way.”
He was being nice, all things considered, but why hadn’t he mentioned what happened in Vegas?
Despite what the ads said, it didn’t feel like what happened in Vegas stayed in Vegas.
It dangled like a giant weight above her head by a string.
She’d been waiting for that string to snap for two months. She couldn’t take it anymore.
“Why are you helping me after what I did to you in Vegas?”
Yep. She just blurted the question out before she could stop herself. Why would you dip your toe in the ocean when you could just high-dive off a cliff? Her heart began to pound.
His eyes darkened for a split second, and then he was smiling again. “I wouldn’t mind discussing that with you one day. But not on the side of the road. And not when anyone could happen by and see.”
Wait, what?
“What is it you don’t want them to see?”
He widened his stance and crossed his arms over his chest. “Trouble, the kind of discussion I plan to have with you about Vegas is going to take place with you across my lap. Trust me when I tell you it is not something you are going to want anyone to witness.”
There was her Daddy For A Day. She was beginning to wonder if the man standing in front of her was some pod person like in The Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Still did, really. The Connor she remembered had never looked quite this calm while threatening her bottom.
Her breath caught at his use of the name he’d given her. Why did that send tingles to her middle and further south? This Connor, the one threatening to spank her for what she’d done in Vegas, this was the man who’d filled her thoughts and fantasies for the past ten months.
The tingling in her pussy blew past a throb and landed on pounding. Thank the lord she’d worn her moose sweater because her nipples were tight nubs waiting impatiently for his attention.
Still, she couldn’t keep her hands from once again covering her threatened backside. Booty preservation was important in some situations. Situations like now.
Connor gave her one quick nod. “I see we understand each other. Okay then, now that we’ve hashed that out, let’s get you on your way.”
Bliss froze. “Oh, um…”
This was not going to go well.
Connor took one look at her face, dropped his gaze to his feet, and pinched the bridge of his nose. “What am I going to find when I lift the cover to your spare tire, Trouble. Do you know?”
She stood up as straight as she could. Sometimes being tall would be a blessing. “Of course I know.” What kind of idiot did he take her for? “It’s just... I don’t have a spare that exactly works.”
“How exactly?”
“Um, not inflated exactly.”
His tiger eyes flared hot and angry. “You’ve been driving around with four bald tires and no spare?”
Hmm. That started out as a question, but it ended more like a demand. The skin on her bottom began to crawl. “I meant to get it fixed or replaced, but I barely have time to work and take care of the girls. And—”
“Let me make sure I have this straight. You are driving, alone, in an isolated area with bad tires and no spare.”
Her mouth was as dry as cotton. She couldn’t have answered him if she wanted to, which she didn’t. But by the expression on his face, not answering was out of the question, so she nodded.
The gold flecks in his eye became molten. Glancing around, she tried to figure out the best escape route. Instead of exploding, however, he drew in another deep breath and banked the flames. Completely.
When he spoke, he was calm and controlled.
Nothing at all like the Connor she remembered.
Vegas Connor would have had her in tears from his stern lecture alone.
She liked the old Connor better. This new Connor was one faulty breath away from losing it.
She’d hate to be the one around when that happened.
He rubbed his thumb along his bottom lip. “You’re lucky we haven’t had our discussion yet, Trouble, or you’d be over my knee right now for the third time tonight.”
She wanted to ask what each one would have been for, but when he started slapping his hand against his thigh—hard–she thought better of it.
After another breath, this one even deeper and longer, he once again banked his anger. It was freaky. Like watching a volcano decide not to erupt.
“All right. Here’s what we are going to do. I have a repair kit in my car. I’ll fix the spare and change the tire for you. What time was Winnie expecting you?”
“By 5:30 because the party starts at 6:00.”
“I’m aware. So, while I change the tire, you get your phone and call Winnie. I know for a fact she’s worried. It’s after six now. Unless you’ve already called her, that is.”
Oh, fudge. Should she tell him?
Connor blanked his face. “Should you tell me what?”
Argh! She was going to start putting tape over her mouth so she couldn’t blurt out her thoughts.
“Nothing.” Her voice came out three octaves higher. “Would, um… would you mind if I borrow your phone?”
Oh boy. The tiger eyes were back, brighter than ever. And the way he rubbed his thumb over the palm of his other hand had those Vegas butterfly piranhas back and in a frenzy.
Still, a part of her wondered what would happen if he couldn’t bank the fire billowing in his eyes this time. She was tingling again, too, but lower than her tummy this time. Much, much lower.
“Belissa Jayne Carpenter, where is your phone?”
Uh oh.
The whole name thing was not a good sign. And the growl in his voice was doing nothing to ease her tingling lady bits. No wonder people feared she wouldn’t handle motherhood. She must be certifiably insane.
“It’s in the car.” There. She didn’t even have to lie.
“If your phone is in your car, why do you need to borrow mine?”
Darn it. She might as well get the confession over with. So, he’d be unhappy. What could he do? She decided not to think about that.
“The battery on my phone is dead.”
Her words were met with absolute silence. She was not relieved. Silence from Connor was far more frightening than shouting.
She should have reached out to Winnie about her tires. Then she wouldn’t be in this predicament. But it was important that everyone saw her as an adult, including, no, especially, her sister.
A pang of longing whooshed through her. She wouldn’t have to be a grown-up if she had a Daddy.
At least, not all the time. A Daddy like Connor would make sure her tires were safe and spank her bottom if she forgot to charge her phone.
A Daddy like him would know how much she loved being a mother, but make sure she knew she was his Little girl, too.
Winnie had enough on her plate with her new business and her bear of a puppy. Bliss needed to be able to do everything by herself. Independent mothers of three had to make it on their own. But all she ever managed to do was prove the opposite.
Connor was right. Her forgetfulness and pride had put her children’s safety at risk. How selfish could she be? The best thing for her children would be for her to let someone else raise them.
Her heart stuttered at the thought. They were her whole world. She was doing the best she could, but maybe that wasn’t enough. Her body rebelled at the thought.
All of Ivy’s questions before shone in a whole new light. Did Ivy think she was a bad mother, too? The possibility hit her like a punch to the stomach.
“Bliss? Babygirl, are you all right? What’s wrong?” Concern filled Connor’s voice, though it came from far away. It was nice, but how did he make his voice echo like that? All of a sudden, her head felt funny.
“I’m fine. Is it hot out here to you?” Heat washed over her, coating her skin, and yet inside, she was freezing. Her body started to shake, and she feared she was about to fall.
“Bliss? Say something, babygirl. Daddy needs you to use your words. Can you do that?”
Great. She’d gone from talking out loud when she thought she was talking to herself to the exact opposite.
Connor lifted her off her feet as if she weighed nothing.
Grayed darkness slowly swallowed her field of vision.
He jostled her as a car door creaked. He must have seen her stuffie on the seat because suddenly Tipsy was in her arms. Then she sat, cradled in his lap, hugging Tipsy.
His fingers ran along her face, and he called her name over and over.
She should answer, but her mouth wouldn’t cooperate. It was like her brain was lost in a fog. Still, she loved the way he said her name.
Step by halting step, his voice burned away the fog, and the darkness clouding her vision faded. His presence anchored her back to the moment.
“Feel better?” Connor’s gentle voice soothed her.
He turned her to face him and brushed the stray hair from her face. He had her long hair fisted, held off her neck, and out of the way.
He was such a good Daddy. Just not her Daddy.
Maybe he would be if not for Nori and the twins.
Guilt slashed through her with the force of a knife. He didn’t even know Nori was his. Yet another responsibility she’d shirked. He’d said he never, ever wanted children. Now he had a daughter, and it was all her fault.
They’d insisted she get a new birth control implant at the Darling compound. They’d done the procedure right before everything had fallen apart, and they’d sold her to the Russian.
Since all they’d done was replace the one she’d already had, she’d thought she was protected. No one had told her she might get pregnant until it was in her system.
Now she had a secret she didn’t know what to do with. Would Connor want to know? Could her heart take it if he didn’t care? What if he was mad at her? She was new to Darling, and he’d been here forever. Would everyone hate her? Would Winnie?
And that was it. She covered her face with her hands and burst into tears.
His strong, warm arms enveloped her and pulled her tighter against his hard, broad chest. It should have given her just as much comfort and security as it had all those months ago. But now she had a secret.
She wriggled against his hold, but he wouldn’t let her go. Being in his arms was thrilling and so very dangerous. She couldn’t get used to having his arms around her. Once he understood everything, he would never touch her again.
Just one more minute. She’d soak this feeling up and store it away for the future when she’d be alone again to love, cherish, feed, and protect her three babies.
She pressed her cheek against him, still sniffling. The steadiness of his heartbeat warmed her. He was solid and safe and temptingly permanent.
A lifetime with Connor would have been wonderful.