Chapter 11 #2
Connor still wasn’t sure about that kid.
He’d left the Lawless Warriors MC when everything went down with Suzi, but Connor wasn’t sure he was settled yet.
Lawson Young had taken him in, and they seemed to be tight.
Still, Connor kept an eye on him out of habit.
He signaled Zane to go ahead with a lift of his chin.
“Is it true that Nova means ‘it won’t go’ in Spanish?” Zane asked.
For a minute, no one spoke. They all stared at Zane, whose face had turned so red it was almost purple. Then Law slapped him on the back of the head. “Do you think a company the size of Chevrolet would pick a name that stupid for one of its cars?”
“Hey!” Zane rubbed his head. “What happened to there’s no such thing as a dumb question?”
Law glared at him. “I stand corrected.”
The room erupted in laughter. Connor was just thankful everyone’s eyes had found a new target. Everyone hung around and chatted.
When one of the babies started crying, they took it as their cue to leave.
Connor listened to the thin wails and tried not to break out in hives like a dumbass.
The sound tugged at him, something instinctive and unfamiliar tightening in his chest. He wanted to pick up whichever of the girls was crying, but he’d probably break her.
Once everyone else had gone, Reid motioned him over. “Conn, before you go, I’d like a word,” he said, then leaned one shoulder against the counter, arms folding across his chest in that big-brother stance Connor knew too well.
Wary, Connor nodded. “What’s on your mind, bossman?”
“I think you can guess,” Reid said, his tone serious. “It probably doesn’t need saying.”
Connor’s every instinct had him on high alert. “And yet you are saying it.” Connor didn’t want to end the evening in a fight with one of his brothers. He rested his hip against the kitchen island and crossed his ankle.
With a shrug, Reid got to his point. “It’s my job as her big brother. We both know Bliss has been through a hard time. I don’t want her to be confused about any attention you show her.”
Connor narrowed his eyes. “She’s not easy to confuse, brother. Especially since no one is trying to confuse her.” He kept his voice even, but irritation scraped the back of his neck.
Reid wasn’t done. “She might misunderstand your attention. I know I asked you to help her today, and I appreciate it, but she’s been hurt enough. So, if you’re thinking about filling up more of her free time, make sure you know what you want.” The warning sat between them, heavy and unmistakable.
Connor stiffened. If Reid thought he’d take advantage of Bliss when she was trying to take care of three children and make a new life for all of them, then they were going to have a problem, brother or not.
“I’d never do anything to hurt Bliss, and you know it.
Besides, it’s not like she’s sitting around twiddling her thumbs with all that free time you’re talking about.
She’s running herself ragged. If you’re her big brother now—he was proud of himself for not using air quotes—you should know that. You need to get her some help.”
Reid stared at him and then grinned.
Fuck. He shouldn’t have said anything. Reid was staring at him like he’d just declared his undying love for the woman or something.
He hadn’t done that. Not at all. And yet, there had always been something about Bliss that pulled at him.
“I’m just saying, she’s tough, but she’s fragile. She needs a keeper.”
“Oh, I know that,” Reid said. “I just wasn’t sure you knew it. Or cared, for that matter.”
Reid’s words weren’t meant as an accusation, but they felt like it. And the mental image of Bliss’s tired eyes didn’t help one damn bit.
Caring wasn’t the problem. Connor cared. More than he should. His brain and his emotions were in a full-out war. He just needed to make sure his dick stayed out of the battle. Then his brain would be outnumbered two to one. Fuck.
He needed to leave before he said or did something stupid. “I need to head out. I’ll be at the garage tomorrow with Bliss’s car.”
He headed to the living room to say goodbye to the girls.
After the regular rounds of hugs and farewells, he found Bliss in the spare bedroom changing diapers.
She cooed and chatted with the girls, keeping them entertained as she worked.
Her voice had that soft sing-song rhythm that made the babies kick their little legs and wave their arms.
She was incredible. He didn’t have to ask if she was sacrificing a lot to take care of her girls. He already knew she was. But she must be doing a great job because they were healthy and happy.
And adorable. Three precious bundles of warmth and life, all staring up at her like she hung the moon and stars. Damn it.
He knew why she’d lost weight and why her clothes were all thrift-store finds. She was doing without so her girls wouldn’t have to. That was what moms did. But she shouldn’t have to do without anything. Not food. Not sleep.
Not someone looking out for her. He couldn’t be that someone, and he was a selfish prick for not wanting anyone else to do it instead of him.
He got what Reid was saying. It would gut him if he hurt Bliss in any way. But it was gutting him to see her so stressed and exhausted, so he was going to find a way to help her.
He might not be able to be her Daddy, but he could make sure she had food and everything else she needed. If she wouldn’t accept it from him, he’d give the stuff to Winnie to give to her or even do it anonymously if he had to.
He didn’t have it worked out, but he knew one thing. She wasn’t going to do without anymore. He’d move mountains before he let that happen.
Crossing the room, he sat on the bed while she changed the youngest baby. A tug on his pants had him looking down, and the face of an angel stared up at him. Doing his best to ignore the panic clawing at him, he smiled down at the determined little girl.
With her ivory skin and red cheeks, not to mention her soft blonde curls, she looked like a porcelain doll. She was too delicate, too small. Someone like him might shatter her if he breathed wrong.
“Who is this?” he asked, trying to keep his voice soft and gentle.
Bliss glanced down and beamed at her daughter. “Pink fingernails mean Sadie. Sophie’s are purple.”
“You paint their fingernails already?” That seemed young.
Bliss giggled, quiet but genuine. It was the first time he’d heard her laugh that day. “It isn’t easy to tell identical twins apart when they aren’t old enough to talk. I paint Sadie’s nails pink and Sophie’s purple to make it easy to know who’s who.”
When he looked back down at Sadie, she reached up to him. Even he knew she wanted him to pick her up. What if he dropped her? Or what if she cried? Bliss giggled again, but then that sad look he hated returned to her eyes.
She shook her head, as if that would let him off the hook. “Don’t worry. I’ll get her in a second. I just have to get Nori’s socks on her.”
Okay, now Connor felt like a dick. He’d tracked down murderers and drug lords. He could pick up one tiny baby. “That’s okay. I’ve got her.”
Leaning over, he lifted Sadie onto his lap. God, he hoped he didn’t drop her. She smiled at him, chattering in some baby language he had no hopes of deciphering. She was the most beautiful creation he’d ever seen. And completely unimpressed with his nerves.
He smiled at her and, in the gentlest voice he had, said, “Hi there, Sadie. My name’s Connor.”
She blinked at him. He’d never felt more scrutinized in his life. Her chattering started back up, and he had the feeling he was being scolded. Out of the blue, she smacked him on the nose with her chubby hand. “Da-da-da-da,” she said, staring straight at him.
He turned to Bliss, whose cheeks were scarlet. She scrambled to explain. “She’s learning to talk. She sees pictures of men in her books, and I always call them that. She doesn’t really know what she’s saying.”
Turning back to Sadie, Connor took another look at the set of her jaw, and he wasn’t so sure. He wanted to tickle her chin or something. And then he froze.
He had to get out of there. He’d never wanted to stay anywhere more. But he was a protector, even when the one he was protecting Sadie from was himself.
He should never have come into this damn room. What had he been thinking? He hadn’t been thinking about how hard leaving would be. He hadn’t been thinking at all. But he had to get away, because for one dangerous moment, holding that beautiful girl felt… right.
Sitting Sadie down on the floor so she wouldn’t fall and hurt herself, he stood to go. “I just came to let you know I’d take care of getting your car to Winnie’s shop in the morning. It will be fine until then. I’ll be over in the morning to drive you to work.”
The pain filling Bliss’s eyes hurt him more than anything he’d ever known, and he’d known more than his fair share of pain.
This was why he needed to stay away from her. Hurt was the only thing she’d ever get from him. It was written in his DNA. And if he stayed, he’d start wanting things he had no right to want.
It took all his strength not to run for the door, but he managed to walk.
“Connor, wait! I have something I need to talk to you about.”
“You’ll have to tell me tomorrow, Trouble. I have someplace to be right now.” He didn’t look back. He didn’t slow down. It was for the best. Because if he turned around and saw that look on her face again, he might not leave at all.