21. Tennant #2
Before I can offer more reassurances, Benjamin speaks up.
“Save the pity party. The only one at fault was that asshole who died far too quickly. We don’t know the reasons behind his actions or motivations, and we maybe never will.
Tennant and Lio don’t need your guilt or self-pity.
They need someone who can take down their enemies while they’re unavailable.
“Be the Boss we all know you can be, or sit down, shut up, and stay out of our way. Because I, for one, want to take down the fuckers who thought messing with us was a fun game. They don’t get to hurt the people I care about and get away with it.”
The tension between the two of them is thick, and tears run down Roman’s face, even as he nods.
“You’re right. I’m sorry.” Roman looks at each and every one of us.
“I’m being selfish, and that’s the last thing I ever want to be.
I…I can’t help but feel guilty because the bullet Ten took was meant for me, but you’re right, there are bigger fish to fry than my feelings. ”
Roman brings my hand up to his lips and kisses my fingers.
“I love you, Ten. More than I love myself. I’ll always hate when you get hurt.
Losing any of you will kill me. I can’t promise to stop feeling guilty, even if I know logically it’s not my fault, but feelings aren’t always logical, especially mine.
But, I’m stronger than I was before. This whole experience, it’s shaped us all. For the better, I hope.”
I look at Benjamin, thinking of all the ways he’s changed since we met at that first alliance meeting, before turning back to Roman.
“You have nothing to be sorry for, Giocattolo. Your feelings are your own, and you’re allowed to have them.
But don’t let them consume you; that’s what you have us for. ”
He nods slowly. “Thank you. And thank you, Benjamin. I…needed to hear that.”
“You did,” my Baby Mouse agrees.
Roman lets out a strained laugh. Something seems to pass between the two of them as they look at each other.
I hope whatever it is, it means Benjamin will stop hating Roman so much.
They’ll never be friends, but that doesn’t matter.
A little respect and understanding is all I ask, as it’ll make our lives a whole hell of a lot easier.
Benjamin sighs. “As much as I want to, I can’t stay long.” I raise a brow at that and he grimaces. “Il Padrone is…not happy, to put it mildly. He knows about us, and about Roman and Ignacio.”
“About Emilio and I, too,” Hollis adds.
“Fucking perfect.”
“Pretty much,” Benjamin says. “He’s not stupid. Even worried about Lio and recovering himself, he sniffed out the shifting dynamics very quickly.”
“Not me and Antonio,” Jude pipes up.
“You haven’t broken any rules, yet,” Benjamin argues. “Flirting would ping on his radar, but just as a situation to monitor, not something punishable.”
Jude smirks. “Oops?”
“Fucking hell,” Benjamin groans.
“I am not scared of Il Padrone. My mother tried to kill me, and I grew up ignored and forgotten because of something I couldn’t change about myself.
Antonio’s needs have been overlooked. It might not have been on purpose, but I know what it’s like to be left alone and wanting, so I took matters into my own hands.
My Bel Fiore needed me, so I provided. Whatever Il Padrone thinks he can take from me in payment… he’s welcome to try.”
I laugh, hissing as pain shoots through me. “Oh, Agnellino, I do love when you’re defiant.”
Benjamin scowls and checks my wound, reassuring himself that I didn’t do any more damage.
Hollis snorts and looks up from his phone. “Doc says your heart rate spiked, and if it happens too many times, he’ll drug us all.”
“Tell the nosy bastard to mind his own business.” Extracting my hand from Benjamin’s, I flip off one of the cameras before taking his hand again, threading our fingers together. “Now, what is this about you having to leave?”
Benjamin sighs. “Il Padrone is pushing hard to get Dr. Ranlen to transfer Lio back to the Martelli mansion, so we can go home.”
“Fuck no,” Hollis and I both exclaim.
“You’re not going anywhere,” I say.
“I might not have a choice.” Benjamin looks so defeated.
“I broke so many rules being with you. Ignacio and I…we got special permission to marry, and well, that’s over and done with now.
Not only that, we both chose other lovers without his consent.
Ones who are not part of our organization.
He…is going to punish us once Lio is stable enough to not only move, but to be out of Il Padrone’s sight for more than a few minutes. ”
“No,” I say firmly. “He is not allowed to touch you.”
Benjamin cups my face with his free hand.
“When I agreed to stay, after he offered me an out, I agreed to live under his rules. This is the Martelli way. If it was just sex, he would have been more understanding, but love? That threatens to shift my loyalty to someone who is not him first, and that is unacceptable. I’ve owned up to my transgressions, and I will pay for them. ”
“No! If he’s so hard up to ‘punish’ someone, it can be me. But. No. One. Is. Touching. You.”
“Tennant.” Roman’s voice is soft as he drops my hand and places his palm on my chest. Benjamin drops his hand from my cheek, so I can turn my head to look at Roman.
“It’s their way. We must let Il Padrone rule as he sees fit.
” He swallows. “Dad and I had a talk after I…was less than respectful to Il Padrone. Benjamin’s not the only one who has to apologize and pay for what he did. ”
The thought of Allesandro touching Roman, punishing him, doesn’t call up the same ire as it does when I think of Benjamin in the same position. Probably because the little shit needs to be put in his place. Benjamin though…he’s been hurt enough by that fucking family.
“I knew what I was getting into with both the Martellis and you,” Benjamin says quietly. “Please, don’t make this any harder than it needs to be.”
I meet his sad sea green eyes and slide my hand out of his, using it to grip his hair and drag him closer. He indulges me, moving in and kissing me deep. His touch is sure as he grips my hair and holds me in place while ravishing my mouth.
“I love you,” he says after pulling away. “This needs to be done; for us, for me and Ignacio, and for myself. Please, respect me enough to accept this is my choice.”
“I don’t like it. I will never like anyone touching you other than me.”
He quirks a brow. “You know the Martelli way.”
I roll my eyes. “Sex is one thing, you and I both know that. I am fine if he wants to fuck you to assert his dominance. That’s his right, and he’s earned that type of loyalty from you. But you’ve been hurt enough.”
Benjamin smiles softly. “This is a different type of pain. I promise, it’ll be fine.”
I narrow my eyes. “You’ve been punished before,” I say flatly.
His lips thin and he shrugs a little. “Does it matter?”
I clench my teeth, but don’t respond to that stupid fucking question. Of course, it fucking matters. None of them deserve to see how lovely his skin bruises, or how pretty he is when he bleeds and cries.
That thought makes me smile. “Well, at least you already wear my mark in two places, so they can’t forget who you belong to.”
Benjamin groans but kisses me again. “You’re impossible.”
“You knew that before you fell head over heels.”
He chuckles. “Yeah, I did.” One last kiss and then he straightens, forcing me to release his hair. He takes a step back from the bed, and already a piece of me feels hollow at the distance. “I need to go before someone comes looking for me. I’ll be back tomorrow. Okay?”
“I’m holding you to that, Amore Mio.”
Benjamin smiles sweetly and squeezes my hand. “Call me if you need anything, any of you, understand?”
“We do,” Hollis says. “We’ll see you at dinner, Benjamin.”
He nods, and with one last lingering look, leaves the room.
I look at my other lovers. “Dinner. They’re still making you do that?”
Roman rolls his eyes. “Family dinner is a Martelli thing, and Dad thought it was a good idea for us all to get to know one another, so now it’s a thing . It’s…nice, but well, awkward with both Dad and Il Padrone, as they’re not happy about some of the new dynamics.”
“I think,” I say slowly, “you need to fill me in on everything I’ve missed over the last few days.”
Hollis rounds the bed and sits in the chair Benjamin abandoned, and the three of them do just that. It’s nice, listening to them, and just being with them. Something that’s been rare, thanks to all the bullshit. If only part of me wasn’t missing.
No matter. When Doc and Jayden stop breathing down my neck, Allesandro and I will have our own discussion about this punishment Benjamin supposedly owes him.
I will make it very clear that the days of anyone in that Family hurting my Topolino are over, and then Benjamin will never have to leave my side, unless it’s his choice.
And I’ll make damn sure he’ll never want to.