29. Tennant
“ I should lock you up.”
Benjamin laughs. “And put me where? There’s not anywhere on this planet that Lio wouldn’t find me.”
I huff. “He’s more injured than I am. I have time to build you a nice little hideaway, where I can keep you, and no harm can ever come to you.”
His gaze softens and he takes my hand. “It’s sweet that you want to protect me, but you can’t from this.
I need to do it. It’s not only the rules I agreed to live by, but…
a sense of pride as well. How can I say I’m strong if I need my boyfriend to protect me from everything?
No, Nocciola, this is something I must do—not just for breaking Il Padrone’s rules, but for Ignacio, for you, and for myself. ”
“You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone, Amore. You’ve already given so much.”
He smiles and brings my hand to his mouth. “To you, but you are not Il Padrone. You don’t have my loyalty first, you can’t . And it hurts me to say that. I need to do this.”
I shake my head, reaching for him with my other hand, ignoring the way the movement pulls at my wounds. Benjamin glares, but I ignore him. “Come here. I need to feel you next to me.”
“Ten…”
I roll my eyes. “No sex. I don't need the lecture from Doc, but I need to feel you, Topolino. Especially since you're leaving me.”
He shakes his head in exasperation, but kicks off his shoes and climbs carefully into the bed, curling up against my side. He's not as tiny as Roman, but still enough of a twink that he fits perfectly against me.
Wrapping my arm around him, I sigh. This is what I needed.
The weird ache deep inside at the thought of him leaving is soothed a little with his touch.
“The thought of you being punished makes me want to stab somebody.
I know it's something you need to do, and I don't have to understand it, but I need to accept it.
That still doesn't mean I won't inspect every single inch of you the next time I see you.”
He chuckles. “I expect nothing less.” He hesitates before asking, “You're okay if I fuck them? Sex is… It's how we reinforce our bonds.”
“I know the Martelli way, Amore. I don't care if sex is just sex, but…”
“I don't have plans to fuck Ignacio.” He shifts and looks up at me. “We're friends. I have to work with him, and I still care about him, but our relationship is different. I…I don't know what I would do if we're all together. Sex with him was never bad, but… I don't want to hurt you either.”
Brushing my fingers against his cheek, I sigh.
“I don't want to limit you when you're not with me, but I can't say the idea of him touching you doesn't make my blood churn with the need to stab him.
I don't trust him with you. I don't trust him with Roman either, but the little shit won't hesitate to stab him if Ignacio does something he doesn't like.
“That’s not to say I don't think you can take care of yourself, but I will always worry about you more. Not because you’re incapable, but you’re not as…bloodthirsty as the others. I don't have to worry about Roman as much because he isn't silent about his feelings and grievances.”
He flinches but sighs and nods. “I don't want to make the same mistakes with you.”
I quirk my lips and slide my hand to his throat, encouraging him up further, closer to my mouth. He indulges me and presses our lips together.
“It wasn’t a reprimand. I know you did your best in that relationship. What we have is different than what you had with him. We'll be fine, Amore Mio. I won't let you hide from me.”
“I promise, I'll do my best to not run away. Just be patient with me?”
“I'll simply chase you down and chain you up. Which doesn't sound like a bad idea to me—go ahead and run.”
He laughs and shakes his head. “You're ridiculous.”
“I'm serious.”
He rolls his eyes. “I love you, even though you're ridiculous.”
“Just remember that and we'll be fine.”
He kisses me again, deeper this time, lingering. “I'll miss you.”
“I won't let you just disappear from my life, Amore. Il Padrone may be retreating, but if he thinks I won't go to you, he is very, very mistaken.”
“Don't antagonize him.”
“I'm not. Just reminding him, and that bastard, that what we have is real.”
“It is real, ti amo.”
I smile. “We need to work on your accent. Talk to Cristian, if you want help in learning Italian. He's a far more patient teacher than I am.”
“Maybe I will, since I'll hopefully have time to study once we're home and things have calmed down a bit.”
Urging him to lie down, I hold him as tightly as possible. “We can only hope there's time for fun stuff like Italian lessons before the shit hits the fan once more.”
He holds me as tightly as he dares, still being careful of my wound. “As long as you don't get shot again, I'll be ready for whatever comes.”
Tilting my head down, I press a kiss to his hair. “I won't make any promises, but I'll try, Topolino. I don't plan on leaving you anytime soon.”
“Better not.”
He sighs and relaxes against me as I press another kiss to his hair, content to hold him until Cristian pulls me away in the morning. Because that is the only way I'm willing to let him leave this house. Whether he's away from me or not, he's still mine, and Il Padrone will learn that in time.
For now, this stolen moment is enough.