44. Ignacio
I struggle not to fight against the bindings, as every inch of me wants to rush over to Benjamin. I can hear him sobbing, and all I want is to reassure him that it’s alright. Fuck . I know Il Padrone is sadistic, but this is too far. My Little Mouse doesn’t deserve this.
His fucking rules means I can’t even speak. I can’t reassure Benjamin. And fuck if this isn’t even more effective than any instrument he could take to my skin. Benjamin’s pain tears at me in a way that drives me crazy. To compare him to Jax? Never.
Eventually, Il Padrone comes back into view with Lio.
He has his Boy snuggled tightly to him, murmuring words I can’t hear, but are likely reassurance and love.
Anger rolls over me, because while Lio deserves comfort, so does my Little Mouse.
Yet, I’m forced to remain quiet and still, waiting for whatever fresh hell Il Padrone brings to the table.
After tucking Lio into the bed in the playroom, Il Padrone finally heads toward me, stopping right in front of me. He grasps my chin and forces me to look him in the eye. From the way he shakes his head in disappointment, I know this isn’t going to be a good time.
“Ignacio. After everything we’ve been through, you thought it would be wise to touch the Amato heir? Without permission?”
I don’t bother responding, there’s no justification, and he hasn’t given me permission to speak.
“Yet…my biggest concern is: why didn’t you come to me? Why, when things were crumbling, did you not speak with me about what was going on in your relationship? You may speak.”
“I have no excuse, Padrone. I can only say that neither Benjamin nor I wanted to admit what was going on.”
He sighs and shakes his head. “You should know better by now. Especially since I am Il Padrone. I saw it. I waited for you. Instead, both of you tore yourselves—and each other—apart. And now we are here, where both of your loyalties are in question. Are you Martellis? Or are you Amatos…?”
At his gesture, I answer quickly. “I am a Martelli. Always.”
“And yet, what happens now that you’re with the heir of the Amatos? If he gives an order that is contradictory to mine, what do you say? Since you love him…” Il Padrone’s emphasis on love tears me in two.
“I—” Words fail me, and he knows it. Instead, he switches his attention to Benjamin, and I brace myself for what’s to come.
“Pick up the flogger. I want you to start. I’ll let you know when to stop. And no warm up this time.” I wait for the lick of pain, the heat I know is coming, but nothing happens. Time stretches on before Il Padrone says, with deceptive calmness, “Are you disobeying me, Benjamin?”
Fuck . Come on, Benjamin. Don’t make this worse for yourself, Little Mouse. I can take it. The words want to burst out, but I shove them down. Knowing I can’t speak kills me.
I hear Benjamin take a shaky inhale before the first sting of fire hits me. I bite back the curses, not wanting to make it harder on him, but fuck, he’s listening to Il Padrone and isn't holding back.
Finally, the pain breaks through and I can’t hold it back. “Fuck!”
Benjamin drops the flogger. The clatter echoes loudly around the room, his rough breathing the only counterpoint to it. Fuck, I wish I could wrap him in my arms and reassure him.
“I did not give you permission to stop.” I shiver at Il Padrone’s icy tone. It’s not even directed at me, but I know not to fuck with him when he’s in this mood.
“I…I can’t. Please, Padrone. Please,” Benjamin whimpers, and I struggle against the bindings, needing to get to him. Fuck this.
Il Padrone reaches out and grabs my throat, squeezing until I become pliant. Fuck .
“Tired of being Jax? Of pushing your will on others?” Il Padrone lashes out. Benjamin stays silent. I may love Il Padrone in a twisted way—after all, he made me—but right now? Right now, I hate him. To compare Benjamin to the psychopath who held us captive and tortured us…
“Please, Padrone. I’m sorry. You’re right. I shouldn’t have crossed the lines I did.”
“And yet you don’t regret it, do you?” Il Padrone asks calmly.
The silence is almost overwhelming before Benjamin says, “I…I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore.”
Il Padrone grunts in acceptance. Whether it's in agreement or not, who the fuck knows. “If you don’t want to continue, I’ll give mercy—once again. Instead, you can prove your loyalty another way.”
“How?” Benjamin asks quietly, and even I fear the answer.
Chuckling, Il Padrone says, “Prove that you’re still a Martelli. Connect with each other. Show that you respect each other.”
I swallow hard. I know what he’s asking, and I’m sure Benjamin does as well.
He’s not talking about having coffee together.
No, he’s insisting we have sex, to show we trust each other with that vulnerability.
For Benjamin, who never went through the process like us other Boys did, it's twisted, but fuck knows I understand why he's insisting on it.
Especially given the way Benjamin engaged with Tennant before breaking up with me.
“Here? With you watching?” I wonder if I should be insulted at the horror in Benjamin’s voice, but set it aside. It’s a fucked up situation.
“Feeling shy?” Il Padrone laughs. “I know better than that. I heard about the tape with Tennant. But…if you want, I’ll let you have the room to yourselves.”
Of course, he would. He’s got cameras up. Whether Benjamin remembers that or not…
“Please, Padrone…”
I don’t know what he’s begging for, and hell, I don’t think he does either. All I can do is wait to find out if he’s decided the horror of having sex with me is worse than striking me.
Something must pass between Padrone and Benjamin because my bindings are finally released.
I scramble to stand, shuffling around to face Benjamin.
My heart stops as I take him in. His body is trembling, his eyes are red, and there's such a confused, lost expression on his face, it makes me sick to my stomach.
Il Padrone wakes Lio up and nudges him from the bed, leaving it available for us. I swallow hard as I look at Benjamin. He shifts awkwardly, his gaze moving from me to the bed, and then back again. I barely hear Il Padrone and Lio leave.
Stepping forward, I cup Benjamin’s cheek. Ducking down, I brush my lips against his, before pulling back to study him carefully. “Little Mouse, it’s alright. It’s you and me. Tennant would understand.”
With a short laugh, Benjamin shakes his head. “I’m not worried about that. I know he would. It’s just…”
“Weird?” I give him a lopsided smile, the kind I know used to relax him. Thank fuck it still does, even if it’s not fully. His shoulders lose some of the stiffness, and his face isn’t screwed up as tightly.
“Yeah. That.” He touches my cheek, concern shining from his eyes. “Will you…?”
“I’ll be alright, Little Mouse.”
My heart twinges at the thought of being with him again. I’ve dreamed of it, wanting it so badly I could taste it. I've woken up several times from sweaty memories of our love. Never did I think it would happen this way. Sourness fills my mouth. Il Padrone is getting his point across, ruthlessly.
Benjamin bites his bottom lip before nodding in determination. My brave Little Mouse.
“Let me make you feel good. Let me remind you that I’ll always be here for you.”
Whether he hears the desperation in my voice or not, I don’t give a shit. This is heaven and hell, all wrapped up in one package. A reminder of what once was and will likely never be again.
“Okay,” he says softly, and my heart soars before crashing down to earth.
Fuck. I close my eyes, saying a quick apology to my Little One before turning my focus to the one who used to have my heart —and in so many ways, still does. Roman and Benjamin…they both own me, even if Benjamin doesn’t want to anymore.
I slowly reach for his shirt, my hands shaking as I peel it off. Stepping closer, I let my fingers ghost over his body, memorizing every inch in case I ever forget. Swallowing, I lean down and kiss the juncture where his neck meets his shoulder, loving the way he shivers.
When he finally raises his hands and touches me, I almost melt. His touch is hesitant at first, before gaining in confidence. I lean into him, pulling him into a hug as I caress his back. I massage his muscles, and breathe calmly as it releases the rest of his tightness.
He moans at my touch, and my cock hardens, pressing against him. His soft giggle crashes over me, and I smile at it as the memories swirl around me.
Backing up, I undo his pants and push them down, along with his underwear. I go to my knees and gently take off his shoes, letting him hold onto my shoulders as I do. Once I have him fully naked, I sit back on my heels, gazing at him in awe. He’s still as handsome as always.
I run my hands up his legs, feeling their strength. I hate that I once doubted his strength, but I shove my regrets away. This is not the time for that. It never will be.
Leaning forward, I capture his half-hard cock in my mouth. I suck it as it hardens, swirling my tongue around it and adding the slight pressure of my teeth. Just enough to hear him gasp. His hands find my shoulders again, clawing at them.
Growling, I grab his ass, pulling him further toward me so I can take him down completely. I don’t let up from what I’m doing. It’s hard, rough, and exactly what I know he likes.
My eyes water as he fills my throat, but I don’t hesitate to keep going as my throat contracts around his dick.
When his legs begin to shake, I finally pull off, taking a deep breath.
I know Il Padrone won’t let it go with a blow job.
If I could, I’d give that to him, so he didn’t feel like he’s cheating on Tennant.
I know Roman would understand, but hell if I understand the psychopath.