33. Trust Exercises #2
I stroke her cheek. “My wild girl.” Something heavy and feral claws up my chest as I watch her, begging me to lose control, to take everything I want and more.
I can’t lose control though, not tonight, not when I’m trying to show her all the ways she can trust me.
But Jesus Christ, all I want to do right now is fuck her pretty mouth and watch her fucking gag.
Her hand squeezes around me, working the base of my cock where her mouth can’t reach, and when she hums around me, a sound of desire that makes me vibrate, I hiss, ripping my cock out of her mouth.
I take her hand, leading her up to the pillows. “Lie back and open your legs. Let me see your pretty pussy.”
She does as she’s asked, her dark curls a wild mess against my white pillows, her ruby red lips glistening, cheeks and chest flushed as she breathes heavily. She’s a fucking angel, and when she parts her thighs, I swear I die a little inside. I take another picture, but it’ll never do her justice.
“Look at you, baby.” I crawl between her legs, inhaling her scent. Like sweet maple syrup, I wanna lick every inch of her up. “So wet. Can you feel it?”
My tongue glides up her slit, and her back lifts off the bed with her cry. Guiding her hand down her body, I stop just below her belly button.
“Touch yourself, baby. Feel how wet you are, how excited this makes you.”
The color in her cheeks deepens, and I stop her argument before it can leave her lips with my mouth on hers.
“You’re beautiful, Ollie. Every single inch of you is flawless perfection, including those soft, gooey insides you try so damn hard to hide. I don’t want you to ever be embarrassed with me.”
“It’s never, ever been like this before,” Olivia whispers. Her hand trembles as it searches for mine, and she grips my fingers tightly. “I don’t know why it’s so different with you, Carter.”
I know why. Pretty sure she does too. It’s part of what scares us both, I think. Forever is a long time.
Instead, I press my mouth to her ear and tell her, “You’re my favorite kind of different.”
Her body heats as I kiss my way down it, like my lips blaze a trail of fire in their wake, and I take her hand, guiding the tips of her fingers up the inside of her thigh, guiding them through her wet folds.
“Jesus,” I mutter, fisting my cock as I watch her tentative strokes, watch the way her lips part with each jagged inhale as she makes herself feel good. “Fucking gorgeous. That’s my girl. Make yourself come.”
“Are you…are you watching?”
I chuckle, sinking down to my belly as I press my lips to the inside of her knee. “Can’t take my eyes off you, but I’ve never been able to.”
Her pace quickens, hips rolling. Somehow—shaky hands and all—I succeed in taking one last picture before I toss my phone, barely registering the sound of it clattering to the floor.
“Fuck the pictures,” I growl, impaling her with two fingers and without warning.
Olivia shoots forward with a cry, and her hand falls away as she thrusts herself into my hand. “Carter, please. I want you to fuck me.”
“I want that too. And I promise you’ll get it, but you have to be patient.”
She wags her head back and forth with a whine. “I’m not patient.”
“I know,” I say on a chuckle. “But you’re going to have to trust me.”
My lips close over her clit, sucking her into my mouth, and I slam my palm against her chest, shoving her back down to the pillows when she tries to rip me up to her. Her fingers find my hair, pushing me closer, and she comes undone on my tongue while she cries my name, begs me not to stop.
So I don’t. I devour her over and over again until she’s a writhing, wriggling mess, her legs melting into the mattress, and when I finally pull away, I’m still not sated.
I never will be. Not with her.
Flipping her over, I set her on her hands and knees, watching the way her head moves as she searches for me over her shoulder.
“What do you need, baby?”
“You. A kiss. Please.”
My palm slides along her jaw, and I take her mouth without hesitation.
Each sweep of my tongue is a deep plunge, an unhurried exploration I don’t want to end as I push my cock inside her warm, slick walls.
I devour her sharp gasp with another brain-melting kiss before I rest my forehead against her temple and begin an achingly slow plunge.
Every time with Olivia is a dance between frantic and savoring, savage and tender. She makes me feel wild, but all I want to do is slow down and make each moment last forever.
I reach around to find her clit, circling and teasing while I drive myself forward. The sheets ball in her tight grasp as she starts falling apart around me, whispering my name over and over again as she comes.
And then: “ Harder .”
“Harder?” I grip her throat, nuzzling her hair. “You want me to fuck you?” I feel the thickness in her swallow beneath my palm before her lips part with an inhale.
“Yes.”
“Then I’m gonna fuck you like I own you. Tell me you’re mine, Olivia.”
“I’m yours, Carter.”
I pull back until I’m barely inside her, and I slip the blindfold off. With her curls wrapped around my fist and her deep brown eyes peering up at me, I tell her, “You’re gonna look me in the eyes while I own you.”
The last bit of me unravels as I slam inside her, and when Olivia screams out my name, a dark smile tugs on my mouth.
Every last bit of my control evaporates as I piston inside her, driving myself deeper, faster, harder , and through it all, Olivia chants my name, begs for More, please, Carter, more , and Don’t stop, God, don’t stop .
Curling overtop of her, my tongue glides over her scorching skin, teeth sinking into her shoulder. When I pull back, I hold her head taut, coaxing every throaty noise out of her as my hips slap against her ass with each punishing plow.
I yank her off me without warning, drop down to my ass, flip her onto my lap, and crush her down on me with a hiss.
“Fucking…beautiful,” I grunt, lifting and dropping her on my cock. “Tell me. Tell me you’re perfect for me.” She starts to shake her head, and I cut her off with a snarl. “Don’t you fucking dare.”
“I’m…”
“Perfect.”
“For you. Perfect for you.”
“You’re damn right you are.”
Wrapping her legs around my waist, I tip Olivia, searing her with a kiss that crushes my chest, squeezes my heart.
“Come with me.” It’s meant to be a command but it sure as hell sounds a lot more like begging to me. “Come, Ollie.”
And she does. We do. Together, our bodies shaking, quaking as I bury my face in her neck. Her heels into my ass, nails raking down my back. My sweaty body sticks to hers, which is cool, ’cause I think I’d like to be stuck to her forever.
The hug I crush her in is nearly suffocating as I roll us to our sides, trying like hell to catch my breath in between the pepper of a thousand kisses on her stunning face.
“I’m sorry about tonight,” Olivia whispers after a moment, cheek pressed to my chest while she plays with the smattering of hair there. “I’m sorry for saying things I didn’t mean and for hurting your feelings. I got hung up on your past and was too afraid to give you my trust. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, baby.” I twirl a lock of her hair around my finger. “I need to know when you’re feeling scared. And we got through it, didn’t we?”
“We fought already.”
“It’s called passion, Ollie. Wild and unrestrained. Eruptive. I don’t want a love that’s anything other than crazy, and crazy about you is the only way I know to describe how I feel.”
My heart smiles at the way her face lights up, and I stroke my thumb over the flush of her high cheekbone, the perfect bow of her top lip.
“I see the fire in your eyes and all I wanna do is fuel it. Light me up, set my soul on fire. I’m yours.”
* * *
Two hours, three more orgasms, and a snack break later, I’m still lying awake in bed, Olivia tucked into my side while she breathes deeply. I can’t sleep. I’m staring down at my phone, watching a replay of my fight for the third time, gnawing on my lip as the video pans to Olivia’s face.
The second I drop my gloves, she rockets out of her seat, eyes wide. When I land the first punch, she grips the base of her throat. When Daley and I go tumbling to the ground, her hands fly to her mouth, and the terrified look on her face is one I never want to be responsible for again.
Olivia stirs softly, hand sliding across my torso as I set my phone down. “Mmm. Carter?”
“Come here, baby.” Hooking my arms under hers, I hoist her up to me, tucking the blankets around us as I snuggle into her. “Having you in my arms is the best feeling in the whole world.”
Olivia exhales a happy sigh. “Like you so much.”
I touch my lips to the tip of her nose. “Like you so much too.”
Other words want to leave my mouth, words that scare me and thrill me simultaneously. Words that come with a meaning so deep, so permanent, a connection that screams forever. It feels too soon and yet, at the same time, it’s as if they knocked on my door and I let them in without hesitation.
Is this what it feels like? Wanting to share all your pieces, the good ones and the not-so-good ones? Wanting to take her hand in yours and hold tight as you take each step forward? Steps into the unknown, the dark and the light, where we tackle fears together and come out stronger each time.
My gaze traces the soft lines of Olivia’s face beneath the fragments of moonlight that stream across her, and I know.
I brush my knuckles across her cheekbone, and when her lashes don’t flutter, I whisper the words against her skin.
“I think I love you, Ollie.”