38. A Love Deeper Than Oreos #2
“One kiss, Olivia. One kiss and I was done. My world obliterated the second my lips touched yours.”
A lone tear escapes my right eye, and Carter’s lips touch my cheek, stopping it in its tracks.
His pelvis rubs against my clit with every roll of his hips. I squeeze my eyes shut at the flames licking at my spine as his pace quickens, his breath choppy against my skin as he kisses my neck, my shoulder.
“Ready?”
I nod, squeezing around him as unbridled pleasure rockets through me, singeing every nerve ending in my body. Carter’s mouth latches onto mine, his tongue delving inside as we come together, bodies trembling, my nails leaving a path of a destruction down his in their wake.
“Fuck me,” Carter wheezes as he rolls off me, pulling me into his chest. “I one thousand percent love you more than Oreos.”
* * *
Carter leans on the counter across from me in nothing but a pair of boxers, eyes trained on me as he shovels noodles and spring rolls into his mouth. I’m doing the same thing, though I hope I look a little more graceful than he does. Then again, I don’t really care.
My legs swing happily from my spot at the kitchen island, and I smile at Carter as I tip my head back and open my mouth, dropping a forkful of noodles inside.
“If all you wore for the rest of your life were my dirty T-shirts, that’d be good with me.”
“I like wearing your dirty T-shirts. They smell like you.” He’s my favorite smell, all smoky woods and lime, and all I want to do is have his scent hug me all day long.
I set my plate down on the counter, licking the sauce from the pad Thai off my lips. “Can I ask you something?”
His head bobs as he chews. “Mhmm. Anything.”
I grip the edge of the counter, nibbling my lip while I contemplate how to word my question.
“How come you’ve never dated before?” His face screws up with surprise, followed by disgust, making me giggle.
“The real reason. You’re a natural. You’re insanely good at every part of being in a relationship for someone who’s never done it before, and I think you like it, so I guess I want to know why you’ve avoided it for so long. ”
He gives me a saucy smirk. “You know what it does to me when you tell me how perfect I am at everything.”
I reach across the space between us with my leg, poking him with my toes in the slab of marble that is his torso. “Shut up.”
Carter chuckles softly and sets his plate down in the sink, skimming his jaw with one hand while he thinks.
“In high school, I was too focused on training and getting scouted to make time for a relationship. I could’ve, but it wasn’t what was important to me at the time.
I knew how good my chances were and I didn’t want anyone to get in the way.
I didn’t want the responsibility of having someone that needed my time or attention. ”
I nod my head thoughtfully. You don’t get to where Carter is without being focused and dedicated, passionate about what you’re doing and where you’re going.
“When I got drafted, my dad warned me not to jump into anything. He told me that it would be difficult to see through everyone, to sort out the people who genuinely cared about me from the ones who only cared about the fame and money. He didn’t tell me not to date or anything, just…
told me to be careful. To take my time getting to know people, to be sure. ”
Carter scratches his head and laughs quietly.
“That scared me more than anything, not being able to tell. Scared me enough that I didn’t even want to try it.
I mean, I saw it right away. The team took me out before our first game, and this girl…
” He trails off with a sheepish glance in my direction before he slices his hand through the air.
“It’s not important. I knew from the beginning that’s all a lot of women saw me as: a meal ticket. ”
A frown tips the corners of my mouth. Although he may have reaped the benefits, it mostly sounds like a lonely life.
“Don’t be sad for me.” He closes the distance between us and lifts me against him, and I press my cheek to his heart as he carries me back up the stairs, settling me in the bed we remade after I tore it apart.
Carter pulls his shirt off my body and tosses his boxers to the floor before he crawls into bed, and I curl into his side. He strokes his hand over my hair, kissing my forehead.
“After my dad died, I wanted no part in relationships. When he died, my mom…She was crushed. Still is, honestly. She couldn’t function for nearly two years.
I started to think she would never recover, and I don’t think she ever fully will.
I know she seems fine, and she’s the strongest woman I’ve ever known.
She’s come such a long way. But there are still those quiet moments, those days where she doesn’t speak, where all she does is think, remember.
They were so in love, and I know they’ll never lose that, but now all she has is the memories of what that felt like. ”
Those green eyes shine with unshed tears as he looks down at me, and my nose tingles with my own urge to cry. For once, I’d like to be the strong one for both of us, so I kiss his chest and run my fingers up and down his arm. Carter’s eyes fall shut with a deep inhale before he continues.
“I guess I never wanted to be able to have that effect on a person, or vice versa. It’s scary to think that losing somebody can absolutely crush your soul like that, that you’ll spend the rest of your days living out your life, waiting for the moment you can be together again.”
Well, there goes that strength I was holding onto. It slips out of my eyes, falling on his chest, and Carter chuckles quietly.
“I know you think your tears are a weakness, Ollie, but they show me how huge your heart is.”
All I want to do is thank him. Thank him for letting me know him, the real him. Thank him for choosing me to be the person he tries this with. Thank him for loving me, for opening up to me, for being everything I need and then some.
But “I’m sorry” is what comes tumbling from my lips. “Sorry I was afraid for so long.”
Carter smiles down at me, brushing his thumb over my bottom lip.
“Don’t be sorry. I’ve learned that fear isn’t a bad thing.
It shows you what’s important to you and how hard you’re willing to work for it.
And I’ve been afraid of a lot of things in my life, Ollie, but never as afraid as I am at the thought of losing you one day. ”
He turns onto his side and scoots down the mattress until his face is in front of mine.
“You know what I think? I think we’re afraid of the things that have the power to change our lives.
My life changed for the better that day I locked eyes with you.
So much for the better, Ollie. I’m better when I’m with you. ”
I know he’s right. He brings out a different side of me, makes me feel things I never felt before, face the things that scare me.
I can spend my time yearning for the small amount of time wasted by me being afraid to love him, to let him love me.
Or I can be grateful for where we are now, the love we share and the relationship we’ve built in such a short time, the love that gets so much stronger, deeper, every single day.
Carter’s lips meet mine in a tender kiss that brews a fire in my belly. “Stay with me forever. Please. I’ll be everything you need.”
I look into the eyes of the man I love and my heart swells with pride at who he’s grown to be, the way he’s supported the people he loves, and how he’s moved past his own hurt. “I want you to be you, Carter. And you already are everything I could possibly ever need and more.”
Carter turns out the light, curling his body around mine. His mouth works my neck, soft, slow, his palm over my belly as he makes me a promise.
“I’m gonna love you the way you deserve to be loved every single day for the rest of your life and my life. I promise.”