Chapter 6
His masculine smell floats around me, making me drunk on him. Danger hangs a dark cloud over our heads again. I feel better knowing he’s here, though. My body will always be safe in his presence. It’s my heart that isn’t.
In the side mirror, I see our friends following us. I trace my finger over the window, doodling random shapes to keep my mind busy.
“What’s on your mind? We both know you can’t keep silent to save your life.”
I bite into my cheek to stifle my smile. “Nothing. Everything.”
“Heavy topics, then?”
“You’re awful at small talk.”
“You still wanted more.”
I suck in all the air in the car. “Happy to have provided you with some entertainment. I must have been quite the laugh.”
He swerves the car to the side of the road, bringing the car to an abrupt stop. He leans in, our noses almost touching. “I dare you to say that fucking again.”
Tension sizzles in the air, sending an electric current rippling through me. I can’t keep looking at him. His intense eyes bore into me, and there’s hurt flickering in them.
“I don’t even know anymore…”
Horns blare, interrupting our moment.
“Never think that. It wouldn’t be true.”
“Yeah, I mean, we had nothing.”
“Keep that shit up, Mia. But make sure you’re aware of the consequences.”
A delicious shiver runs down my body. I clench my legs instinctively, and tiny breaths puff out of me. It’s astounding how easily he can affect me.
He puts the car back into drive, and the tension accompanied by the silence is so thick it suffocates me.
“Could you tell me where you were and what you did?”
“Traveled by bus from one city to the next. Fought my way through.”
A pensive look crosses his face. This family and I keep him in shackles. I could only have him for a short while. That reality butchers my heart, but I can’t snub out that ember of hope.
“You liked it?”
“I enjoyed knowing I don’t need my last name, this legacy, or family to get by.”
“Did you win them all?”
“I did.”
“And now?”
“Now there’s another fight coming up. One I doubt I will win.”
That silences me.
When we reach the Family compound, he parks the car in front of the estate.
Samuel welcomes us in, and the moment we’re in Cassandra’s office, she asks, “What is it?”
Kaden looks at Blake, and he starts. “There may be copies of my father’s research.”
Cassandra’s brows pinch together. “We didn’t find anything.”
“That doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. I know how to get the truth out of him. I could torture him, or I just need a bit of time inside the lab at the Family’s pharmaceutical company.” His voice has no emotion or conflict, and I realize I don’t care that he can do that.
“The latter,” Cassandra gives.
Hunter elbows me. “Stop looking at that psycho with those eyes. He’s a predator, after all.”
While I glare at my twin, Blake says, “I won’t be able to do my job like I am supposed to with them tailing behind me.”
Kaden clenches his jaw so hard it might crack. “Ma’am, the only decision our group will abide by is that we’re all involved.”
“I don’t like being on the sideline and even less being kept in the dark. Bailey already works for you, and you brought Blake back,” Hunter says.
Cassandra looks at each of us and sighs. “I want you to have a normal student life.”
“We never had one and never will,” Celine says.
Abigail and I nod, acknowledging Celine’s words, which ring so true.
“Fine, but if any of your grades slip, I won’t like it.”
Her message is clear. I appreciate her wanting a regular life for us, but that’s not who we are. Accepting that gives me strength, knowing we finally stand together in the face of danger. And maybe, just maybe, we can overcome the strain.
“Ma’am, we need to know what’s going on,” Kaden says.
“Through my talks with the senior members, I have encountered resistance. I understand that my return created friction, but I am afraid it gave some of them reason to side with Felix.”
“Fuck.” We all curse, some more subtly than others.
“Language.”
“Yes, Ma’am,” we reply in unison.
“I am in a precarious position. I can’t accuse any of them of betrayal without evidence.”
“But we can. They are our parents. We will find you the proof,” Bailey says.
“I want to see Caleb now,” Blake says.
“I can’t let you go in there alone.”
“I’m going with him,” I suggest, my mouth opening before my brain could think it through. Wouldn’t be the first or last time the connection is severed when he’s in my vicinity.
“I don’t need a chaperone.”
Cassandra looks at him pointedly. “It’s that or I won’t allow you to see him, Blake.”
“Fine.”
Of course, the stubborn asshole who loves to do things by himself wouldn’t like that, but I don’t care.
When the group leaves, a guard walks us toward the tunnel.
“I don’t need you here.” Blake’s words sting, but I look ahead and keep walking.
“Whatever. I’m still coming.”
I hear him grumble, but I am tired of constantly fighting with him.
When the guard opens the door, Caleb is hunched over the table, scribbling furiously on a piece of paper. The moment he sees Blake, he jumps up and spits, “I should have killed you and created a son who would never betray his father.”
I flinch at his harsh words, but Blake throws his head back and laughs.
“Oh, Father, is this how you greet your son?”
“You’re not my son. You’re a waste of breath.”
Rage blurs my vision. I am about to approach him when Blake grips my elbow, pulling me back. “Easy there.”
Caleb looks from me to him and says, “You’re going to lose her. Mark my words.”
Blake marches to him without hesitation, curls his hand around Caleb’s throat, and lifts him into the air. Caleb’s feet dangle above the cement floor as his face turns a deep purplish color.
“Father, don’t forget what I am capable of. If you ever think that again, I’m going to kill you,” he says resolutely. “You don’t know what I’m willing to do for her.”
My heart races so fast that I’m afraid it might sprint out of my chest. He’d kill for me, and, strangely, because I must be disturbed, I like that—a lot.
“Tell me where your backup research is?”
He cocks his head. “I’ll never tell,” he says, entirely too smug for someone in his position.
That means there are copies. Blake and I exchange a glance. Where could those be? Not knowing what he has done with them skyrockets my worry.
Caleb looks paler, his cheeks hollowed out with gray peppering his temples as if he aged ten years at once. Captivity doesn’t suit him, and that brings me immense pleasure.
“I’ll come by tomorrow. You shouldn’t have let me in.” He digs a finger into his temple. “I have a great memory, thanks to you.”
Caleb winces, and Blake puts him down. Falling onto his knees and breathing hard, Caleb says, “I’ve wasted my talent on you.”
What is that supposed to mean?
“I hope that keeps you fucking awake at night. I played you, Father. Always have.”
Caleb wants to hurt him. It’s in the tightening of his facial muscles, the corners of his eyes stretching with fury. I’d never allow that.
“See you tomorrow.” Blake puts his hand on my back and urges me out. From that small touch alone, my skin is on fire.
While the encounter still rattles me, my heart soaks up Blake’s words, stoking the tiny flicker of faith in my chest. I need him to tell me that he didn’t mean that he’d kill his father for me—anything not to get my hopes up once again.
“What did he mean?” I ask. Blake’s well-being is more important to me than the emotional battlefield I am stuck in.
“Nothing.”
“So what you said was just to rile him up?”
“Yes,” he says matter-of-factly.
I could accept his reply and be done, but the hurt pushes me to back him into a wall.
“Fine. Tell me I mean nothing to you.”
“So desperate to have me, knowing I’d never stay.”
His words slice through me, and my insides bleed out. “We’re done, Blake. This was it.”
Fear blinks in his eyes, but it’s immediately gone.
In the car, he pushes the start button. “Good. You should have done that from the beginning.”
I say nothing because there is nothing more to say.
Once we’re at the house, I get out and don’t look back, even though I hear him taking off in a heap of screeching tires. Whatever. He’s not mine to love or worry about. Never was and never will be.
I walk inside and find the group gathered around the coffee table in the living room.
“Where is he?” Kaden asks.
I shrug. He stands up, but Bailey says, “I know where he is at any moment. Right now, he needs time to himself.”
“Good that he has you in his corner,” my twin grumbles.
The animosity between them is getting worse.
“You should all do whatever it takes to find out if your parents know something,” I suggest.
“My parents don’t want to see me, but that doesn’t mean we can’t break in,” Abigail says.
“Strangely, my parents wanna meet with me. I can’t keep avoiding them. I’ll find out if they’re hiding something,” Bailey says.
“I’m here for you if you need me,” I say and then leave.
Alone in my room, I get into bed and hug my pillow.
Not even a few minutes later, Celine walks in, followed by Abigail and Bailey, who hop in bed with me.
“How was it?” Celine asks.
“It was strange. Caleb kept saying ‘made,’ like Blake is his creation or something.”
“He’s always been a psychopath. That doesn’t surprise me,” says Abi.
“I didn’t ask you about that,” Celine says suggestively.
“There’s nothing to talk about. I am no one to him.”
Bailey takes my hand in hers. “Don’t make yourself believe that. There are a lot of things that trouble Blake.”
“It’s okay. I needed today to finally get over my unrealistic expectations. You know what? I’m going to start dating.”
“If that is what you want to do,” says Celine.
Abigail and Bailey exchange a worried glance, but I ignore it and roll over. The girls take the hint and leave me alone.
Thankfully, there are nights when I don’t dream about him. I hope tonight is one of them.
Operation “Get Over Blake” has officially begun. I need a distraction from everything happening around me.
***
On campus the following day, the girls are at my side as we scope out potential suitors. I have already asked out three guys, but each one mumbled excuses before walking away.
The bitter sting of rejection coats my taste buds, but I won’t be deterred. Not every guy has to like me. Two had girlfriends, and I appreciate them being faithful. But the third one scurried away quickly when I said my name, leaving me rooted in place, not knowing what was so bad about me to have him react like that.
Whatever, I don’t give up that easily.
The girls point at one guy, then another, yet they don’t look like my brand of madness.
Pull yourself together. This is about moving on from Blake and not trying to find similarities.
“What about that one? He looks cute,” Abigail says.
“I was never into cute guys.” Apparently, I have only one type–– him . I fear no one can take his place.
“I think you need someone nice and not involved in our life. He could help you take your mind off stuff,” Celine says.
“True,” Bailey says. “He’s all right. No shady web searches. Looks at porn, but nothing too heavy.”
There’s a brief silence before all three of us whip our heads in Bailey’s direction.
“What?” she asks, finally pulling her head out of her phone. She notices our expression and rolls her eyes. “We want her to be safe. And he’s a twenty-year-old guy—of course, he watches porn.”
The guys appear behind her, and my brother speaks up, towering over her. “I don’t. I like making it,” he says with a smirk.
“Someone bleach my ears. Ick, Hunter,” I groan, shuddering at the thought.
“Sky, what are you doing?” Kaden asks Celine.
“Finding a suitor,” she says with a straight face.
He leans into her, and the heat between them is scorching hot.
“For Mia,” she adds quickly.
I look at Dane, who’s grinning from ear to ear.
“You have no problem with this?” I ask, genuinely curious.
“Abigail scrunched up her nose the entire time she watched a guy, measuring him up to me. No one can.” He is so cocky.
“Exactly, baby.”
These four will make me fall into depression with their love. Am I happy for my friends? Absolutely. Am I miserable because I will never experience something similar? Also fact.
“Hate to be the voice of reason, but I don’t think Blake will like that,” Dane says.
“He can go fuck himself,” Hunter says.
“And how will you stop him?” Bailey asks, huffing.
“Guys, stop it. Now, can we find someone for me?” I ask.
“I am out,” Hunter says.
“I don’t want to get on his bad side,” Dane says.
“We have enough problems without unbalancing Blake even more,” Kaden says.
“Chickens,” I say to their backs.
Celine sighs. “I look at those three, and every time I see them together, I imagine Blake is with them.”
“I’m so mad at him, I want to shake some sense into him. But I’m more mad at myself. I never wanted to hurt him like that,” Abi sighs.
“We were all going through a rough period. No one is at fault,” Bailey says.
“I am going to ask that blond guy out,” I say, pointing to a preppy guy wearing a peacoat over a fitted polo and matching chinos.
“You go, girl,” Celine says, but the cheer is fake.
With every step I take in his direction, it becomes clear he’s not the one I want––even though he looks handsome, oozing old-money vibes. He’s too posh, his appearance too clean and kempt. I can’t have the one I want, so I force a smile when I reach him. He offers me a megawatt smile that does nothing for me.
The only thing I want to do now is make this as quick as possible. What is wrong with me? Maybe first impressions are wrong, and I’ll end up liking him. That’s the whole point of dating.
“I’m Theo.”
“Mia. Want to meet up somewhere later?”
He rakes his brown eyes over me, and I see the movie playing in his head––him fucking me. I swallow my disappointment, forcing myself to keep my smile.
“I’d love that, beautiful girl.”
So unimaginative.
“Tonight, eight o’clock at The Cave,” I say quickly before I change my mind.
I hurry back to the girls without a goodbye. “Don’t even ask,” I say when I reach them.
“I don’t have much experience, but shouldn’t you be excited about going on a date?” Bailey asks.
“This is about proving a point,” Abi tells her.
“And we’ll be by her side and we won’t tell her that it was a mistake,” Celine retorts.
“You know I can hear you, right?” I ask them.
It’s a date. What can go wrong? In the worst-case scenario, it will confirm what I already knew: Theo is not my type. Or maybe I will be pleasantly surprised and have a lovely night. My goal is to forget about Blake, and I can’t do that alone.