Chapter 36
“Nooooo.” Two letters that could convey the pain that kills my soul sound like a joke, but that’s all my grieving insides can come up with.
“Mia, please,” my brother says, prying me away even if I fight him off.
“Do something! Fucking do something,” I yell at them, and Celine pulls me away as Kaden and Hunter carry Blake toward the waiting helicopter.
Abi is guarding the pilot, but when she sees us, she breaks down into full, uncontrollable sobs. “Wake up, Blake. Fucking wake up.”
But he doesn’t, and Dane wraps her in his arms, comforting her.
There’s no comfort for me, just darkness. Ice tips pierce my heart, stabbing deep into my soul.
Without a second thought, I pull the first gun I see, and point it at the pilot. “Bring us to the hospital in Greenville. Fast. If he dies, I’ll kill you.”
I touch Blake’s neck, and there’s a small flicker of a pulse—I will focus on that. Until someone confirms he’s dead, my faith won’t waver. I don’t even think about what would happen if he dies. Not that I can form a coherent thought at the moment.
Kaden calls Cassandra and gives her an update. The next second, an explosion erupts, making the hill cave in.
“Caleb’s dead. I killed him,” I say, almost in a trance.
Some gasps follow, but I can’t pinpoint where they come from.
“Felix wasn’t there,” I say and dig my fingers into Blake’s wrist. His pulse is getting weaker, and the damn wound won’t stop bleeding.
I tap my feet, clutching his hand. Hunter tries to re-bandage my wound, but it’s hard when I refuse to let go of Blake. As long as I touch him, I tether him to me. He can’t leave me when I grip onto him. He wouldn’t.
Celine places her hand on my arm, and Abi caresses my back softly.
“Why are you comforting me? He’s fine. He’s just asleep,” I say, looking at his face. He looks at peace. Maybe I should let him go. He hasn’t deserved this awful life he has been dealt. But he has me, and I’d love him with all of me until I take my last breath and beyond.
“He’s going to open his eyes any moment.”
“Mia,” Hunter tries. “I need to check your injury. Please.”
“He said he loved me.” I grin at my friends.
“You knew he loved you,” Abi says through a broken smile. “Just let us bandage your wound again.”
“Love. He loves me. Why are you behaving like he’s dead? He’s not. I’m holding his hand. He’s just asleep.”
Celine says through a sniffle, “He’s asleep. You’re right. And you wouldn’t want him to wake up and see that you didn’t take care of yourself, right?”
I offer a small nod while still holding his hand. Abi quickly tends to my wound, and Celine drapes a blanket around my shoulders. Not that it makes a difference. I don’t feel anything; I’m numb to my core.
Kaden lets out a deafening roar. “Stay alive, asshole. Your girl needs you. We need you.”
Minutes tick by, and I press a kiss on his violet-looking lips. He’s so cold to the touch.
“I know you want peace. Am I selfish if I keep you here? Do you want me to let you go? Then wake up and tell me yourself. I’m sorry I called you a coward. You’re the strongest person I know.”
Something strange happens then. There’s a big exhale, and then nothing.
The girls cry softly, and I start CPR.
“We’re almost there,” Kaden says so low, his voice laced with deep-seated grief.
“Press on his wound,” I say. Celine reacts, and Kaden rips off his sleeve to give it to her.
I am grateful my bestie is helping me while I give Blake my air. Right now, I’d give him my life.
When we land, I’m still on top of him as a team of professionals wait for us on the hospital roof. A doctor barks orders, but I can’t make out what she’s saying. My ears are ringing, and my knees buckle under me as a wave of dizziness hits hard. They drag Blake away from me, carrying him inside on a gurney.
Another medic approaches me, but I push him away. I see the syringe, but with both Kaden and Hunter holding me, the needle pricks my neck and everything goes black.
***
When I wake up, an IV is connected to my vein, dripping steadily. My chest is bandaged in white tape, and an oximeter takes my pulse, the steady beat informing me that I am alive.
The girls are all sitting next to me. Bailey is the first to notice that I am awake and starts crying. There’s a haze in my brain until I remember, and then the machine monitoring my heart picks up, beeping like crazy.
“Where is he?” I ask, scooting up.
Bailey’s eyes are red-rimmed, and Abi wipes at her tears, saying, “In surgery.”
“So he’s alive?”
Celine’s chin dips into a small nod. “He flatlined twice. The doctor wouldn’t say more, just that he has internal bleeding from a ruptured spleen, and they’re trying to save it.”
All I hear is that he’s alive. “Take me to where he is.”
“Mia… you lost a lot of blood too,” Celine tries.
“I’m not the one fighting for their life, am I?”
Celine sighs, and Abi arranges for a wheelchair. Bailey pushes me down the hallway until we reach the guys.
“What are you doing here?” my brother asks.
“This is where I am supposed to be,” I say, and then a heavy silence descends.
Cassandra arrives along with Sebastian, my father, and Kaden’s mother. I hear myself telling my father that I’m fine, but I am not here. I am there with Blake.
One hour chases another, like my desperation chasing my hopes away. I’ve lost track of how long ago the nurse removed the IV from my arm and I’ve moved to an uncomfortable chair.
I stare at the doors that lead to the operating rooms.
“Please, baby. I need you. Come back to me. You said you’d always come back to me,” I whisper, hoping Blake could hear me.
The doors suddenly open, and the doctor shuffles toward us with bowed shoulders.
Inhaling deeply, she says, “We saved half of his spleen, but because of the internal blood loss and severe damage to his spleen, the next twenty-four hours is critical.”
I could lose him even though he survived the surgery.
“Can I see him?”
“Are you a relative?”
“Yes.” In my heart, I am his wife because he has a family with me.
The doctor escorts me to his private room. Blake is hooked up to various machines and I place my hand on his, refusing to let go. Not now, not ever.