Chapter 55
FIFTY-FIVE
VALENTINA FERRARA
I opened my eyes slowly, my body still heavy with sleep, sore muscles, and that delicious, lingering exhaustion.
Out of habit, I glanced at the clock on the nightstand. Six thirty in the morning. Even on a Saturday, my body was trained to wake up early, always at the same time.
And even half-asleep, it took me less than a second to realize I wasn’t in the bedroom that had become mine since moving into that house.
I knew.
This wasn’t my bed. Not my pillow. And most of all, that comfortable, irresistible warmth surrounding me wasn’t coming from the sheets alone.
Enrico.
A wave of heat and awareness rushed through my body, my heart immediately racing. He was there, wrapped around me, his strong, warm body pressed against mine everywhere possible.
His heavy leg tangled with mine. His arm firm around my waist. His slow, deep breathing warm against the back of my neck. I could feel every inch of his naked body molded to mine as the memories of the night before hit me with devastating force.
I closed my eyes again, shuddering as each sensation came back with unsettling clarity—every touch, every kiss, every movement of him over me, inside me.
The intense, perfect feeling of being filled by him.
His rough voice whispering my name as he took me.
The way every single cell in my body responded to his touch as if it belonged only to him.
For a few seconds, I allowed myself to sink into the forbidden pleasure of belonging to Enrico again. A secret indulgence. A wholeness I hadn’t felt in years.
But that dangerous satisfaction didn’t last.
A cold, suffocating shock took over almost instantly, panic settling brutally in my chest and pushing away any trace of pleasure or happiness.
What we had done was wrong. It was madness. It shouldn’t have happened—and it absolutely couldn’t happen again. Ever.
My heart raced harder as desperation grew. I tried to come up with a way to slip out of bed without waking him. I needed to run. I needed to return to my sanity—to the reality where I couldn’t be the woman who gave any part of herself to Enrico Ferrara again.
I took a deep breath, preparing to gently move his strong arm away, when I felt Enrico’s warm lips brush softly against my skin, kissing the side of my face.
My entire body froze.
Then, in a low, sleepy voice filled with an intimacy that made my heart stumble violently, his words reached me.
“Good morning, love.”
“Don’t call me that,” I whispered weakly, fighting desperately not to show how much those three simple words had shaken my already fragile balance.
Enrico chuckled softly against my ear, the sound warm, rough, and wickedly amused, as if my resistance were nothing more than a minor inconvenience.
His lips trailed down my neck, leaving a shiver-inducing path of gentle kisses on my sensitive skin.
“I can’t call you love?” he teased, his slow, husky voice making my heart slam against my ribs. “That’s strange. Last night, you seemed perfectly comfortable with it.”
I trembled, every muscle reacting instantly to his touch and his provocation, completely unable to hide the response he pulled from me so effortlessly.
“Last night was a mistake, Enrico,” I shot back, trying to sound firm—and failing miserably as his hand slid along my side, exploring every curve as if I were the most precious thing in the world.
He smiled against my neck, clearly entertained by my weak attempt to escape.
“A mistake, Valentina?” His voice was sweet, edged with irony as his fingers traveled up to my breast, gently brushing over my already hardened nipple and pulling a low moan from me that I desperately tried to suppress.
“A mistake wouldn’t still taste so sweet on my mouth.
I don’t believe you. And neither does your body. ”
“Enrico… this can’t happen again,” I insisted, my voice shaking, my mind fighting for survival as my traitorous body pressed closer to his, craving more contact, more closeness.
He lifted his head, his dark, intense eyes locking onto mine. The playful smile still lingered on his lips as his face drew closer.
“You don’t sound very convinced,” he murmured, pressing his lips gently to mine, stealing my breath—and any chance I had left to resist.
His mouth moved with devastating tenderness, as if he had all the time in the world to explore every inch of my lips.
I could feel how satisfied he was, how completely certain he was of my surrender, as my resistance slipped through my fingers, replaced by an absurd, overwhelming need for more of him.
My mind screamed for help, begging me to push Enrico away, to put distance between myself and this dangerous man who threatened to tear down every defense I had built so carefully.
But my body had other plans.
My hands slid up his broad, firm back, pulling him closer, my fingers tangling in his dark hair in a possessive gesture I couldn’t control.
A soft moan escaped my lips as his tongue brushed mine, melting me completely, my mind going blissfully empty as I gave in to the kiss.
“See?” he murmured with absolute satisfaction as he broke the kiss briefly, his voice low and thick with pleasure as he looked at me. “We’ve already wasted too much time on pain, love. Too much time,” he repeated, brushing the tip of his nose against my cheek.
“Enrico, I—”
He pulled back just enough to meet my gaze.
“I know I’ll never deserve you. I know I’ll never be worthy of calling you mine,” he interrupted, his hand gripping my chin, forcing me to keep looking at him. “But I’m too selfish not to take advantage of the fact that your body doesn’t care about that.”
“I love you, Valentina,” he said bluntly—and chaos exploded in my chest. “Every day I spent away from you felt like walking dead. Finding you again, seeing you, meeting our daughter… it was like breathing after almost five years underwater. I don’t have the right to ask you not to take this away from me—but I’m asking anyway.
Give me a chance. That’s all I want. One chance.
You don’t have to love me back. You don’t have to forgive me or trust me.
Just give me the chance to show you I can still make you happy. ”
His words cut straight through me, crashing into my chest like an unexpected storm, ripping me violently out of the haze of pleasure.
My God.
This couldn’t be happening. Not like this. Not now. Not after everything.
I blinked repeatedly, struggling to regain clarity, trying to breathe normally while the word yes screamed at the tip of my tongue, threatening to escape without my permission.
But I needed to be rational. I had to remember everything I’d been through—every reason this was a terrible idea. I needed to cling to reason before it was too late.
With monumental effort, I gently pushed Enrico away and got out of bed quickly, my feet hitting the cold floor in a sharp collision with reality.
I began pacing the room, naked, shaking, trying desperately to organize my thoughts and regain control over my body and my emotions.
“Valentina…” I heard Enrico call softly, his voice filled with concern as he also got out of bed and moved toward me.
My heart jolted again, knowing that if he touched me, any chance of rational thought would vanish. I raised my hand quickly, stopping him before he could come any closer.
“No, Enrico. Please, don’t come closer.” My voice came out low, almost pleading as I looked at him seriously. “Every time you touch me, I forget why I was angry.”
“And that scares me more than any betrayal. If you touch me now, I’ll lose all rationality. And I need it—right now.”
He hesitated, then respected my boundary. The confident, teasing smile faded from his face, replaced by something serious and uneasy.
“Love…” he started.
I closed my eyes immediately, letting out a long, deep breath, fighting to stay steady.
When I opened them again, I looked straight at him with all the painful honesty the moment demanded.
“Please don’t call me that,” I asked quietly, firm but unyielding. “Don’t call me that, because it makes it sound like things have changed. And they haven’t. Nothing has changed, Enrico. What happened between us doesn’t erase what you did to me.”
The light drained from his face. Slowly, he seemed to realize that the spell of pleasure and surrender had broken, leaving me fully aware again.
He inhaled deeply, his posture stiffening, pain reflecting in his eyes.
“Valentina, I know we still have so much to work through, but—”
“Do you really think it’s that simple?” I cut in sharply. “That you can just ask for a chance without me having to forgive you, love you, or trust you? That doesn’t exist, Enrico. You can’t give a chance without those things.”
He swallowed hard, finally understanding the true depth of my resistance and fear.
“I’m willing to wait as long as it takes,” he said, his gaze locked on mine. “I don’t care how long. I just want to try to fix this. Us.”
A bitter laugh escaped my throat. I shook my head, frustrated, lost, tears burning in my eyes as I crossed my arms over my chest, trying to find the strength to say what needed to be said.
“There is no fixing us, Enrico,” I said, defeated—because it was true. “I’m not fixable.”
“It still hurts. Even after everything… it still hurts to look at you and remember what we could have been.”
“There isn’t a single day I don’t wake up hating myself for losing you. And for knowing it was me who pushed you away.”
“And the fact that you feel that way doesn’t change anything.
I wanted last night… I wanted us to be enough.
But it wasn’t. You can memorize my body inside out, unravel it, make me scream your name as many times as you want—it won’t change anything.
Because it doesn’t matter that you own my pleasure.
I’ll never be able to give myself completely again.
Not to you. Not to anyone. Not ever. I don’t survive twice. ”
I shrank in on myself after saying it. My skin wasn’t the only thing exposed in that moment.
“Don’t say that, Val…” Enrico pleaded, looking away. When he looked back at me, the misery on his face shattered my heart into even more pieces. “I… I couldn’t live knowing I’m responsible for something like that. I need to try to fix this. Please, Valentina.”
“It’s not just not easy, Enrico,” I interrupted, my voice breaking. “It’s impossible.”
He stood completely still, absorbing my refusal, his expression turning dark and serious.
“I can’t do any of those things,” I confessed, my voice weak, trembling with everything I’d been holding back. “As much as I want to believe you, as much as I want to forget everything, I can’t. You broke my heart. You destroyed my life. I can’t just ignore that and try again.”
A heavy, suffocating silence settled between us. We stood there, motionless, staring at each other, the space between us filled with pain, desire, and everything left unsaid.
A loud, insistent noise startled us both violently—I didn’t even know how much time had passed. Someone was pounding hard on the bedroom door, ripping through the silence and dragging us brutally back to reality.
“Enrico, wake the fuck up!” André’s familiar voice came through the thick wood, impatient. “You need to wake up now!”
Enrico took a deep breath, rubbing his face as he threw me a quick, embarrassed look. Still naked, he walked quickly to the door without opening it, shouting back irritably.
“I’m awake, damn it! Knock that shit off before you wake Clara!”
The pounding stopped immediately, replaced by tense silence on the other side.
“Okay,” André replied, calmer now but clearly surprised. “Then open the door. It’s important.”
Enrico looked back at me, concern etched into his face.
“Give me a minute,” he told his brother, walking back toward me.
“I need to see what he wants,” he added quietly as I started looking for my clothes.
“Shit,” Enrico muttered as he grabbed his pants—when we realized the same thing at the same time.
“My clothes are in the kitchen.”
“Your clothes are in the kitchen.”
I swallowed hard, my face heating instantly as last night rushed back into my mind.
Enrico ran a hand over his face again, a short, awkward laugh slipping from his lips as we exchanged a look.
“Enrico?” André called again from outside, confused by the delay.
Enrico raised his voice, adopting a firm, casual tone.
“Wait for me in the office, André. I’ll be down in a few minutes.”
A brief silence followed before André answered.
“Fine. But don’t take long.”
His footsteps faded, and silence returned to the room.
Enrico and I stood there, motionless, facing each other, surrounded by the unbearable tension and the chaos left behind by a night of complete surrender.