Chapter 6
Chapter
Six
ENFIELD
I take my boys out to breakfast on the morning I’m to move in with my new fiancée. Sarah even brings Theodora so my sons can meet their new sister. This is only their second time meeting, but it makes me feel happy that they like each other.
They don’t truly grasp that they’re brothers. Right now, they’re just friends, and that’s okay. I don’t hate that it’s their first understanding of each other. I’m equally ecstatic when they become absolutely infatuated with their new sister.
I know I’m getting ahead of myself, but I have all these visions of my kids opening presents together, going on vacation together, playing together. It makes me smile.
“You ready for this?” Sarah asks.
I explained the situation to all three mothers, though none of them got the entire truth the way Sarah did. She knows details. They only know I’m getting married, and for the next thirty days, I’ll be up in Glensdale or something to live with her. Then we’ll be back.
In my absence, I’ll have video playdates and involvement with my kids often.
“I don’t know,” I admit. “Everything inside me is warring against this.”
Lissander holds up a crayon, and I take it from his sticky fingers. He points to the green one, and I hand that one to him. He and Ronan are coloring on the enormous sheet of paper covering the table. They’ve already switched seats twice to get to clear places.
I’ve been listening to them talk to each other with a smile. I have no idea what they’re talking about since the topic seems to shift frequently, but they’re certainly talking to each other.
“Because of the cold asshole aspect?” Sarah asks.
Both boys look up at her with wide eyes. I laugh.
“Sorry,” Sarah says. “My bad. No dessert for me.”
If possible, Lissander looks even more horrified at the punishment for language than at her speaking it. That boy is obsessed with sugar.
“I don’t know,” I answer once the boys have turned back to their pictures. “All of it. I hate that I’m going to be so far away. I hate that I have to do this at all. As if it were possible, I resent my parents more with every passing day.”
“I’ll let you watch Thea sleep as often as you want,” Sarah says.
I chuckle and bring my sleeping baby closer to my face so I can kiss her forehead. She still smells like new baby. Not new baby with a full diaper. Clear distinction.
“Almost over,” Sarah assures me and grips my forearm.
Theodora makes a quiet squawk, and both my sons stop what they’re doing to look at her. Lissander climbs onto his knees to get a closer look at her. “What’s wrong, baby?” he coos. Yes, he coos!
Ronan climbs into the chair with Lissander, standing over him to peer at Theodora, a hand on my shoulder and one on Lissander’s head to balance him.
“Maybe just a dream,” Sarah assures them. “She’s already asleep again. See? All better.”
“All better,” Ronan agrees, though he doesn’t return to his seat.
For a few minutes, both boys stare at their sister.
“You know, if you want, I can coordinate with Amelia and Courtney for a playdate, and you can video all three kids,” Sarah offers.
I give her a skeptical look. “Oh, yeah?”
She laughs. “I can handle them. They’re incredibly well behaved. I’ll bring them to my apartment so they’re contained.”
“You understand Courtney will not do any transport, right?”
Sarah shrugs. “It’s fine. I don’t mind. As much as you want your kids to be close, I also want our daughter to be close with her brothers. I know there’s very little interaction right now because Thea is so small, but she’ll grow quickly.”
“That’ll be great, Sarah. Thanks.”
“That relieves some of your discomfort?”
“Yes, actually. The idea of not seeing my babies for a month was only adding to my resentment of my parents. It’s not lessened now by any means because they refuse to acknowledge that they exist, which is a double-edged sword because I don’t want my kids anywhere near them, but still. They’re mine. I made them.”
“I did nothing but carry her while she grew,” Sarah says flippantly.
I kiss her cheek. “You did all the hard work while I did nothing but have a little fun beforehand.”
She grins. “You’re a good dad, Enfield.”
I try.
Time goes by far too quickly, and it isn’t long before I’m dropping my sons off at their respective houses. As I make the trip up to Glensdale or Sun Haven or… something, I keep catching the reflection of their car seats in my rearview mirror.
Why does this feel like an ending? I hate everything about this. Everything.
Unfairly, I already resent this girl I don’t know. So I don’t talk myself out of this and take a sudden left to the damn ocean, I call Nash to talk me down.
“You okay?” he answers in greeting.
“You know I’m slightly freaking out, huh?”
“You spent the morning with your kids, didn’t you?”
“Yep.”
“Yes, I knew you were freaking out. A single month, Enfield. Then you’ll never have to be away from them again.”
I take a breath. “You think she’s going to be accepting of my kids?” I ask.
“She,” he muses. “I don’t know. Enfield, I have to be honest. I’m surprised you signed this contract.”
“You told me to!”
“Yes, I did. But this isn’t what I was expecting.”
I’m not sure what he means. “It had the clause in it. I specifically looked for it. It’s exactly as you needed it to be, right?”
“It is.”
“Then nothing else matters.”
Nash doesn’t agree for a moment, and my stomach flips. “Nash!”
“Okay. I agree.”
“Are you just saying that to pacify me?”
“No. I agree. Actually, I think this might make it easier on you.”
I don’t know what to make of that comment. Afraid of what that means, I change the subject. “How’s the family?”
Nash laughs quietly. “My sister? She’s fine. My parents? Also fine. The greater Van Dorens? Also fine.”
“That question works better when you have a partner, huh?”
“It does,” he agrees.
“You’re not looking for one,” I comment.
“You make it look so fun, but no.”
“Want to make one of those weird promises? If we’re not married in ten years, we’ll get married. You’d be a great second father to my kids.”
Nash laughs. It’s the loudest laugh I’ve ever heard from him. It makes me smile. “No. But thanks for the offer.”
“It’s my colored past, isn’t it?”
“No.”
I wait for him to say more, but he doesn’t. “That’s all you’re giving me, huh?”
“Yep. No offense, but I’d rather be single.”
“Ouch. You bitch.”
He laughs again, and still, I grin. I can’t help it. He just has one of those laughs.
“I mean, in general, Enfield. I’d rather be single.”
“Why?”
Nash is quiet for a minute. “I… just want to be.”
“You like playing the field, do you?”
He snorts. “Yep. That’s it.”
I don’t push. If he doesn’t want to share, then I’m not going to push. “Cool.”
“You’re going to be single for the rest of your life after this, too, aren’t you?”
I’m already nodding as I see the first mention of Glensdale and Sun Haven on a sign. Fifty-one miles. My stomach drops. “Yeah. I think so.”
“That’s kind of sad.”
I laugh. “You just said you’d rather spend your life as a single man. Why is it sad for me?”
“Because of the reasons. I don’t imagine you’d choose a life of bachelorhood if you hadn’t spent the last fifteen years of your life fighting for your freedom of choice in partners.”
My head is bobbing in agreement without me realizing. “You’re right.”
“For the record, I’m looking forward to the day when we can tell your parents off, Enfield. And when your divorce is final, and your life is yours to live without stipulations, we’re going to celebrate.”
I grin. “Thanks.”
Our conversation turns lighter. I wonder what he’s doing that allows him to spend more than an hour on the phone with me. It’s Thursday, so it’s not like he’s not in the office right now. I don’t question my good fortune, though.
The house I pull up to is trapped behind six-foot brick walls in a neighborhood of mansions. I roll my eyes. Yes, I’m a spoiled rich boy. I’ll be the first to admit that. But putting up a wall around you to keep the less wealthy out? That’s fucking gross.
What am I walking into?
The house of my fiancée, Xavi, is in the back corner.
I remember the name from signing all six contracts.
Her line to sign is right next to mine. As soon as I received my copies of the contract, I stood in my parents’ driveway and used the app on my phone to scan each page to Nash.
Then I shoved them into my glove box, where they’re still located.
The house itself isn’t awful. There’s a small fountain out front with a cherub on top.
Water pours from its pitcher into the bowl below him.
The greenery around the house is tasteful and not over the top.
As I stand in front of my car and look around the neighborhood, Xavi’s house is maybe the biggest, but it’s not boastful from the outside like a lot of those around it.
Taking a breath, I grab my suitcase from the trunk and my messenger bag from the passenger seat and head for the door.
The front porch is kind of beautiful. I love the lanterns hanging overhead, and the columns are grand yet simple.
The furniture outside looks lived in and comfortable, not just decoration.
I pause with my hand on the doorknob and take a deep breath. I smell flowers. Is that calming or not?
I let myself in. That’s what my parents told me to do. This is my house now. For the next month, it’s my residence, and when we’re married, it’ll be one of our properties. It’s one of the few things I listened to as my parents’ yelling suddenly turned to approval and excitement.
My disassociation didn’t register at all.
The foyer is nice. I leave my bags by the door and wander down the hall.
Even though I didn’t read this specific contract, I know what it says.
I’ve read them over and over throughout the years as I grew more and more pissed at the restrictions and control they posed.
So I know that we’re alone. These thirty days before the wedding are for us to get to know each other.
Unless we explicitly invite someone over, we’re to be left alone to create a bond and shit without interruption or outside influence.
Which means when I come upon a man in one of the rooms, I pause with a frown. He’s looking out the window to the backyard. He’s average height, lean, blond.
I knock on the door, and he spins around, eyes meeting mine.
“Hi,” I greet. “I’m looking for Xavi.”
His lips part as he stares at me. “I-I’m Xavi.”
Wait. What? “I’m sorry. You’re a man. No?”
“Yes.”
“Then I’m confused.” Even as the words leave my mouth, I remember the way my parents kept urging me to read the contract. I remember how Nash just now said he was surprised that I signed it. My heart begins to race as I stare at this man. Man! “You’re Xavi,” I confirm.
“I am,” he agrees.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” I burst, anger surging through me like a storm. “They contracted me to marry a fucking man.”
My outburst makes Xavi jump. His eyes get wide, and he takes a step backward. If I weren’t so damn furious, I’d try to keep a little calmer. I’m not mad at him. It’s not his fault.
I pull my phone out and call my mother. She answers right away. Before she can even get out a full ‘hello,’ I yell, “You contracted me to a man? What the actual fuck, mother?”
“I asked you to read the contract,” she insists.
“No. Bullshit. That’s something you fucking say out loud regardless of whether I read it or not. A week. A full fucking week. At any time during that week, you could have said something, and you chose not to. What is wrong with you? What were you thinking?”
“I don’t understand what the big deal is.”
“I’m not gay!” I holler.
“You had an affair with that duke, though.”
“NO! It’s fucking AI. It’s not real. That never happened. What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t know. I told you to read—”
“Do NOT turn this around on me. You outright deceived me. That’s something you fucking say as you hand it to me.” I hang up the phone, hands shaking. I’m so fucking… irate.
Hands still shaking, I dial Nash. “You realized he’s a guy, did you?” he greets when he answers.
“You didn’t say anything?” I say, voice high with irritation. It’s nearly a yell, but I’m not actually mad at him. He didn’t do this.
“I didn’t realize you hadn’t read a word of it until we were just talking. Did you even know his name?” There’s humor in his question. I can hear it. But I’m in no mood right now to find anything about this situation funny.
“Nash—” I growl.
“Take a breath, Enfield. This will make it easier. You’re not gay. There’s no reason you can’t entirely disassociate now. The plan doesn’t change, but this also already works as a tally in your favor.”
“Fine. I’ll… call you back.” I hang up the phone and close my eyes to try to get my temper under control, but seriously, who does that? Who fucking marries their straight kid to a goddamn man without telling them?
Yeah, I didn’t read the contract. When my mother handed it to me, she should have said it then. That’s something you tell your kid. Why wouldn’t she? Or my father—he was in the room too.
No matter how much I try to convince myself to calm down, I can’t stop shaking. All the pent-up rage I’ve held in over the years is suddenly free, and it’s not backing down. My fists are clenched.
“Excuse me,” I say, trying to keep my voice as neutral as possible, and leave the room. I don’t know where I’m going. I just walk. I need to get rid of this anger. The fury. The fucking mortification.
The betrayal.
How could they do this to me? Is this their way of getting back at me for all the headlines?
My feet echo in the empty halls as I stomp through them. Turning corners, climbing stairs. I don’t stop until I reach a dead end and scream as loudly as I can. It doesn’t help. Not really. But I continue to scream my fury until I can’t catch my breath.
Nash is right. That’s one mark against my parents already. This falls under things that should be disclosed prior to signing, right? What indication would I ever have that they’d suddenly change the gender of my future spouse?