Chapter 24
Chapter
Twenty-Four
ENFIELD
The phone ringing pulls me from sleep. Groggily, I roll over and look at the clock. Not even five. What the fuck?
I reach for my phone and blearily try to make out what it says. There’s just a bunch of letters. The DoS at the end makes me smirk, and I answer.
“Seymor!” I greet.
He sighs. “I hate when you call me that,” he says, heavy English accent making me smile further as I lie backward.
“That’s your name, my friend.”
“Not a name I use, Enfield.”
“Do you have any idea what time it is?” I ask through a yawn.
There’s a beat before he curses. “Sorry. I forget that you’re not on the East Coast. I swear, whenever we talk about Americans, you’re all on the East Coast.”
I snort. “Yep. Eastern Standard Time is the only one that matters in the US.”
“Exactly. Want me to let you sleep?”
“Nah. What’s up? I see you used our little chaos maker.”
“Yes. I actually meant to call you before I leaked them to give you a warning. That’s why I’m calling. I’ve just grown balls enough to apologize.”
“Balls,” I mimic, chuckling like a thirteen-year-old. To be clear, it’s not the word itself. Not even what he’s using the word to represent. It’s the posh English accent saying balls that makes me laugh.
“Yes, cute.”
“It’s cool, Seymor. Not a big deal.”
“There were no negative repercussions from its leaking?”
I open my eyes and stare at the ceiling of the room I’ve been occupying since moving in with Xavi just over three weeks ago now. Xavi.
Adjusting again, I find Xavi on his side, eyes open as he tries very hard to stay completely still. He blinks, staring at the blankets bunched in front of his face.
Bringing my phone to the opposite ear, I reach down to run my fingers through his hair, pulling his attention up to me. I tug a little, hopefully a clear enough suggestion that he comes closer. Xavi does. He slides up alongside me and presses his face into my ribs.
“Eh,” I answer eventually. “Complications, I suppose, but…” I stare at the ceiling, letting my fingers move through Xavi’s hair. “Maybe they’re not entirely bad.”
“Oh? What does that mean? Why do you talk in riddles?”
I huff, smirking. “How did it work out for you?”
“Oh, I’m getting a divorce,” he says, sounding far happier than anyone should be saying those words.
“Yeah? So it worked out then.”
Seymor sighs. “To be honest, I leaked them because I’ve reached the end of my interest in getting drunk to please my wife.”
I laugh. “That fun, huh?”
“The short of this is I got in a huge fight with my parents, had an audience with the king, came home and had another blowout, but this time with my wife—all of which led to one thing: I’m gay, and I’m tired of hiding it.
I’m tired of forcing myself into this role, all because this is what’s expected of an English duke. Take the duchy. I don’t give a piss.”
“Ouch. So what happened?”
“I’m getting divorced. My kids are confused as fuck because Daddy likes other daddies—which I told Isla is wildly inappropriate and inaccurate to tell young children, but whatever. I’ll deal with that over the next several months.”
“But are you losing the duchy?”
“No,” he says, voice quieter. “Interestingly, while my parents were pissed and ready to support the king, should he choose to strip me of my birthright, the king was interestingly accepting. Far more supportive than my family. He sent word for my parents, and I was there when they were dismissed from the king, and they were not happy that I’m keeping my title. ”
“Great family you got there.” I frown.
“No, no. They’ll get over it. I know for certain they don’t actually care about my sexuality. It’s the reputation of the family and the stain I’ve brought to our duchy that they’re upset about. Since the king supports me, my family is already coming around. Isla… not so much.”
“I’m inclined to say congratulations since this sounds like a successful ending, but you don’t quite sound thrilled with the outcome.”
He sighs. “Honestly, I thought I’d feel more at peace. I thought the relief of no longer having to pretend would lift more of a weight.”
“It didn’t,” I guess.
“In a lot of ways, it did. The truth is in the world. Literally plastered all over the world.” He laughs quietly. “But I don’t know. It feels… complicated when I thought it would take all the complications away.”
“You know what you need?”
“What’s that?”
“To celebrate. Go find yourself a sexy guard and have your way with him. Or better yet, a butler. You have butlers, right?”
Seymor sighs heavily. “Cute, Enfield.”
I laugh. “Sorry. But I do think that maybe you need to live your truth now. Putting it into the world isn’t enough. You still feel like you’re standing at the base of a mountain you need to scale. Nothing has changed even though everything has changed.”
“Yes,” he agrees. “That’s precisely how I feel.”
“While I was teasing and maybe being a little ridiculous, my suggestion stands. You need to live your truth now. Don’t be the gay duke who remains single for the rest of his life. Be the gay duke who finds happiness.”
He sighs again. “Thanks, Enfield. You’re filled with even better ideas sober.”
“That’s going on my tombstone.”
Seymor laughs. “Really, though. Everything is okay with you? My dropping these without warning didn’t mess anything up?”
“Complications to a plan in the works, but in the long run, not at all. The outcome will be the same.”
“Okay, good. I apologize for not warning you ahead of time, though. I should have at least sent a text.”
“I wasn’t sure if dukes were allowed to text. Isn’t that something lower-class citizens do? Don’t you still have rotary phones on that ancient estate?”
“Tosser.”
I laugh.
“I also apologize for calling so early. I forgot that you’re in the other part of the US.”
“The better part. We get to see how the day begins for the East Coast and decide how to make it better since we haven’t lived those hours yet.”
He snorts. “I will speak to you another time. Enjoy your morning.”
“You too. Go celebrate embracing your identity, Seymor. You deserve it.”
“Thank you. I’ll… consider your suggestion.”
“Good. Later.”
“Good day.”
I hang up the phone and reach for the nightstand. The loud thunk says I missed, and my phone is now on the floor. Dammit. Whatever. I roll over and bring Xavi into my arms, our bodies tangling together.
Morning breath be damned. I kiss him hungrily and lazily try to recall how we ended up in bed together. I know we haven’t gotten beyond dry fucking, though, based on the fact that I’m only in my underwear, we got close last night.
Might be why my blood is still simmering and quickly heats with our kissing. So good.
His hands are less hesitant this morning. I use my body weight and roll him onto his back a bit, pressing my knee between his legs. His top leg hooks over my hip, and it’s the first true dick-to-dick moment we’ve shared.
I’m not horrified by it. Why should I be?
I’m very familiar with dicks. Mine is one of my favorite features of my body.
Any guy who tells you they haven’t touched their dick more than any other part of their body is full of shit.
We’re all quite familiar with what’s in our pants.
From a young age, we’re hypnotized by it.
Is it really all that different to touch someone else’s? I mean, length, girth, color, and whatever vary, sure. But the fundamentals are the same. It’s not going to be that different.
I realize as we grind together, kissing sloppily, that I’m psyching myself up for the next base. I’m not sure exactly what base we’re on, but next is fully naked and cocks together. I’m sure that’s where this is going. That’s where I want it to go.
That’s where I’m desperate for it to go.
My hand slides down the smooth skin of his back to his ass. I bypass his underwear completely and slide my hand beneath the tight fabric to squeeze his little ass. Xavi groans into my mouth, and I think that’s invitation enough.
I hook my thumb into the waistband and shove them away. As soon as they’re down his thighs, making my leg between his feel awkward, I add to that awkwardness and shove mine down too. While I should take a minute and get them off us completely, I’m too eager to feel his cock against mine.
Using my weight again, I get him fully on his back, and our bodies come together. His dick is pressed to mine. To the side, because that’s how things slide. Which isn’t enough. I need to feel his hard length beneath mine.
That means I need to touch him, right? Dick to dick is one thing. My hand on his cock feels… a little bigger. Weird to think that way.
Before I can work myself up to do so, Xavi’s hand pushes between us and grabs our cocks. I jerk a little, feeling the warmth of his hand immediately tight around me. I shift up an inch or two so he can get us arranged, and there we are. Side by side, pressed firmly together in his secure grip.
I groan, long and low. My hips jerk all on their own against him.
“Better with lube,” he pants.
My mouth licks wet kisses along his neck as I try to process his words. Lube. Right. Where is there lube?
“I don’t think I have any,” I admit.
He snorts. “Seriously?”
I shake my head. “Believe it or not, sex hasn’t been a priority lately.”
“I believe that. Then spit.” He shoves against me. “Spit.”
Reluctantly, I push myself up but keep our pelvises pressed tightly. Now I can see our cocks clearly. They align like they were always meant to be together. Comparable in size but very different. He’s slightly longer, but I’m a little thicker. I’m veiny, but his head is more pronounced.
Is it weird that I think this is sexy as fuck?
“Spit before you freak out.”
I shake my head. I’m not going to freak out. However, my mouth doesn’t feel particularly spitty right now. It’s a sad effort that I spit on our cocks. Xavi laughs.
I try a few more times until we’re somewhat moving with less friction. It’s enough that I come back down on him, mouth once more attached to his, and jerk my cock in his hold against his until I come all over. Thankfully, he already came. It didn’t take long for either of us.
“Not been a priority for you either, huh?” I ask.
His cheeks have this pretty pink on them that I might lick like a cat. Or a dog. My tongue suddenly feels like my saliva glands are working again.
He laughs. “No, actually. I guess… I don’t know. I don’t have a reason. Besides your being here for the past few weeks, it always felt like too much work to find a hookup, so I didn’t bother.”
Sighing, I let myself slide beside him so I’m not tempted to let my body weight smoosh our cum together like the filling of a melted ice cream sandwich.
I press my forehead to the side of his and look at our mess.
I should clean that up. He’s the one prettily painted in our release, so I should get up.
Instead, I look at our mixed release.
“Can I ask you something?” Xavi asks, voice quiet.
“Yep.”
“You’re really not going to freak out?”
“Based on how I freaked out when I got here and saw that you’re a guy?”
“Can you blame me for thinking it’s a possibility?”
I grin. “Not in the least. For the record, I don’t care that you’re a guy.
I don’t care about your sexuality.” I pause and think about it for a minute.
“Maybe I don’t even care about mine. It wasn’t the, uh, gayness of this that pissed me off.
It’s the entire thing. You being a guy was the last straw before I snapped. One more thing forced on me, you know?”
“But it hasn’t changed.”
“A lot has changed,” I counter. “But back to what you’re actually asking, no.
I don’t think I’ll freak out. I’m not… feeling freaked out.
I honestly don’t care that you’re a guy.
In ten minutes, maybe I will, and maybe I’m being a little radical because it’s been a long time since I’ve gotten off, but that was a damn good orgasm. ”
He smiles. “It was.”
After a minute, I push myself up. “Don’t move. You’re a mess.”
His smile follows me into the bathroom. I grab two washcloths, get them wet, and return to the bedroom. I hand him one and use the second to try to contain our mess. It’s a little excessive. Like I’ve stored it up for ages and finally dumped a bucketload on him.
Poor guy.
Then again, I think he jizzed just as much, so there’s that.
I think I managed pretty well. He hands me the second cloth that he used to clean his junk, and I take them both back to the bathroom. I use the one he used to clean myself on the way and toss them into the shower.
When I return, I grab the blankets and pull them up, wrapping us tightly inside. Xavi sighs. I close my eyes. There’s a chance I could sleep all day.
“That was the Duke who called you? The one you didn’t actually have an affair with?” he asks.
I laugh. “Yep.”
“You actually know him.”
“We met in Amsterdam. He was there on a holiday with his family, and I was there… running away. We met at a bar where we were both drinking away our misery. Sharing our stories. Commiserating. Next thing we knew, we were concocting something scandalous and using one of those AI apps to create racy photos. When we sobered, I told him to use them if he wanted. I didn’t mind.
That was… ten months ago? I honestly forgot about them. ”
“He’s really gay, though?”
“Yep. Bureaucratic bullshit. Trapped in societal expectations.” I pause. “Actually, trapped in traditional familial expectations, I suppose. Or… patriarchal? I don’t know. Trapped either way.”
“But he’s free now? I don’t mean to have eavesdropped.”
I shrug. “No biggie. Yes, he came out, though I think he still feels trapped. This time, maybe by himself.”
“I hope he finds the peace he’s hoping for,” Xavi says.
“He will. I think I understand what he’s feeling, though.”
“You do?”
“I’ve spent thirteen years fighting this contract.
In a very short time, it’s going to be over.
All the things I’ve fought against and fought for will have come to an end.
Thirteen years, Xavi. What the hell do I do with my life then?
It’s practically become my identity—angry disaster heir.
I’m not sure I even know who I am outside of that. ”
“You’ll figure it out,” he says quietly.
Maybe.