Chapter 33
Chapter
Thirty-Three
XAVI
“Was it what you expected?”
Sparrow pushes a box toward me filled with pastries. It’s been five days since the meeting with our parents. Five days since we presented our new contract.
“Uh… I don’t know. Betty was—Sparrow, I’ve never seen an adult throw such a damn fit. It was embarrassing. I felt bad for Enfield’s father.”
He laughs. “That’s wild.” His finger dips into the creamy inside of his puff pastry, and he holds it out for Shapiro.
“I almost feel bad, which is dumb. I’ve tried to put myself in Enfield’s shoes since he got here, and the more I learned, the more I wondered if his parents could actually be that bad.
Meeting them, though?” I shake my head and absently watch Shapiro lick the cream from Sparrow’s finger.
I’m not really seeing him. Just looking at him.
“Don’t make excuses. He didn’t need to be a bitch to you.”
I sigh. “I’m not arguing that. I’m saying that I can’t imagine. You should have heard the way she talked about his kids, Sparrow. I was fucking mortified. I don’t want kids. I don’t particularly like kids, but her absolute disregard for her grandkids? It was awful.”
“That bad?” he asks, eyes rising to mine.
“Worse than you can imagine. I wanted to cry for them. He’s kept them far away from her, but still. Can you imagine being thought of as unimportant by your grandparents?”
Sparrow frowns. “No. I can’t.”
“They don’t know. They’re young, and they’ve never met his parents, but that doesn’t change it.
By the time we finished talking about his kids, I was so damn angry on their behalf.
That anger still bubbles under the surface now, and it’s over.
I understand why he was so angry for so long.
Honestly, I can’t imagine I’d act any differently.
And that’s coming from someone who doesn’t want kids. ”
“You’ve emphasized that a lot in this short explanation. You’re marrying someone with three kids.”
I sigh. “I’ll learn.”
“Xavi—”
“I know,” I interrupt. “I’m worried that… I’m never going to like being around them. That doesn’t bode well for our marriage.”
“You need to be around them before you get married. You can’t be going in blind.”
I look into the box of pastries and nod. “I know. I don’t want to lose him. I’m scared.”
“I’m inclined to say that there are other people out there, but I know that’s not what you need to hear right now.”
“You said it anyway.”
Sparrow huffs. “I did. Sorry.”
“Are you never going to like him?”
“You’re more forgiving than I am. The first time he made me cry, I’d be done with him.
I don’t think I can express how I felt each time you called me in tears, Xavi.
You talk about the anger you felt for these kids.
That’s the kind of rage I felt when you called me crying because of this man.
There’s no excuse, and I hate hearing them. ”
I nod. “I forgive him. I think you need to.”
He raises one shoulder. “In time. Maybe after he proves he can be a good husband and treat you like the prince you are.”
My eyes drop, and I sigh heavily. Silence fills the room. That’s a lie. Shapiro’s purring is loud enough that it sounds like a car with a loud engine is idling outside.
“So… I received my housing,” Sparrow says.
My breath catches, and I meet his eyes again. “Yeah?”
He nods. “There’s off-campus student housing. Set up kind of like a dorm, but it’s off campus and not included in the room-and-board scholarship. You have to pay by other means. I applied for any room option that became available and received a studio.”
“That’s… cool.”
Sparrow grins. “They’re really cool. I’m excited for you to see it.”
“No room for sleepovers, huh?”
“Actually, plenty of room. It’s got an old warehouse vibe, so these really tall ceilings.
The bathroom is the only closed-in spot, but the ceiling of the bathroom is flat and bare and generally used for storage, so I think I’m going to wrap it in glass half walls, install a more secure ladder, and put my bed up there.
That means I have the entire space for living and studying. Plenty of room for you.”
I hate the idea that he’s going to be eight hours away. Except that we’re moving down to Napa Valley, so it’s not quite that far. Still far, though. I can’t just drive through the field beyond the wall and drop in anytime I want.
“How’s packing?” Sparrow asks.
My sigh is heavy again. “I didn’t know how much shit I have in my shop. It’s taking for-e-ver. We’ve finally reached the light at the end of the tunnel and can move on to my room soon. I’ve already gone through the house, and we’ve shoved the furniture I want to take into the hall.”
“You find a house?”
Enfield maintained that, yes, he was going to take the family house that was earmarked for him in the original contract, but we wouldn’t be moving there. He wants to sell it to piss off his family. He can’t, though. It’s against the trust or something.
I think his plan is to leave it uninhabited and let it fall into disrepair instead.
I’m hoping one day I’ll convince him to sell it back to the trust or his family or something.
I don’t like the idea of it becoming derelict.
Not because I care what his family thinks, but because that’s a waste of a house. It’s not healthy for the environment.
“No, but we’ve only barely been looking. We’ve been spending the days between his visits with his kids packing.”
“You haven’t met them on video yet, either?”
I shake my head. “No.”
Sparrow mirrors my head shake. “I’m worried about you,” he says as he gets to his feet. I follow. When I’m standing, he wraps his arms around me and hugs me tightly. “This is not discouragement, and I’m not saying it because I don’t like him. I don’t, for the record.”
I roll my eyes. “I had no idea.”
He grins, and his arms tighten. “You really should think about this a little more, Xavi. Kids are permanent. The one good thing I’ll say about him is that he’s dedicated to his children. So, you need to think about this for real. This isn’t just about getting your man. That man comes with baggage.”
“Yeah,” I agree.
Sparrow takes a step back and presses his hand to my chest. There’s a piece of paper folded in four. I grab it as he takes his hand away. “Got to go pack myself. I’ll check in tomorrow, okay?”
I nod. He scratches Shapiro’s ears and then leaves.
I’m left standing in the kitchen, clutching this paper in my hand.
I unfold it and am surprised to find a one-page house listing in Longwood Crossing.
It’s large—almost six-thousand square feet.
It has a pool, which is necessary in Southern California as far as I’m concerned.
The kitchen door opens, and Enfield walks in. He smiles as soon as he sees me, and I drop my hand when he does to return his smile. Immediately, he pulls me to his chest, and I let the paper fall onto the table where it folds in two.
“Guess what?” he asks, lips along my jaw.
“What?”
“Nash just called. The contracts are all notarized and legally recognized and shit.”
My heart jumps. “They are?”
“Yep. He and Avory are filing the necessary paperwork to release the first trusts to each of us. The company shares are already being transferred. The second trusts will be released by the end of the year.”
Chills break out all over and I close my eyes, hugging him tightly. “Wow.”
“It’s over,” he whispers, arms tightening. His kissing stops, and he just hugs me. “I’ve been waiting for years for this.”
“How do you feel?”
He laughs. “I don’t even know. I’m a little grateful that we have packing and shit to do because I feel like I’d wander around here lost for quite a while.”
“We still need to find somewhere to live,” I remind him.
Enfield sighs. “It’s exhausting, and we’ve barely begun.”
I chew the inside of my lip for a second before I fumble behind me for the piece of paper. “Sparrow brought this over.”
He takes a step back and takes the paper from my hand. I watch his face as he looks it over and then meets my eyes. “In Longwood Crossing.”
“Yeah. I know we can’t go that far from the kids, but I thought I’d show you anyway.”
“You want to go.”
“I—I don’t know, Enfield.” I turn around and wrap my arms across my stomach.
“It’s not fair for me to want to stay close to my best friend.
We’re supposed to be starting our life together, and that means I need to cut the umbilical cord and…
be an adult. There are more important things to consider when we choose a house.
It’s our home. Then there are the kids and… I don’t want to be selfish.”
A beat of silence fills the kitchen, and I think about what Sparrow said. I should be thinking about his kids first and foremost because that’s going to be the biggest adjustment for me. What if I can’t be a parent? What if I hate it?
I jump a little when Enfield’s arms wrap around me from behind. “Tell me what you’re thinking,” he murmurs, pressing a soft kiss to my neck.
“I’m afraid I’m going to be miserable with your kids,” I whisper. Tears sting my eyes. “What if I hate it? What if I don’t hate it but suck at it? What if it creates tension between us? What if this only works without them here?”
“What happened to ‘you’ll learn’?” he asks.
“I will. I want to. I’m just afraid.”
We’re quiet for a minute, and I’m worried that this entire thing is unraveling right now. And Sparrow has a studio apartment, so I have nowhere to go. I’ll be stuck here all alone.
Enfield turns me around and cups my face with his hands. “Why is it you get worried about something every time you’re with Sparrow?”
“Because he forces me to face something important that I’ve been ignoring. He’s a jerk like that.”
He huffs. His eyes stare into mine, and I want to look away. I can’t. I’m ensnared.
“Let’s take a break from packing and go house hunting. We’ll take a look at the one down in Longwood Crossing and whatever else is around. We’ll see what’s between Longwood Crossing and Napa Valley. While we make our way back here, we’ll stop to see my kids and see how that goes.”
“What if they don’t like me?” I whisper.
He smiles softly. “I’m more concerned about you not liking them, Xavi. They’re young and adaptable. By all accounts, the chances of you not liking my kids are far higher than them not liking you.”
“I’m scared to meet them. I’m afraid of losing this with you.”
Enfield kisses me softly. “This is exactly why these things are supposed to be in the contract,” he says quietly. “All we can do is see how this unfolds, angel. We’ll need to see if it’s something we can both work with and go from there.”
I nod. “Okay.”
“Let’s get Shapi packed up and take him on a road trip. Pack a little bag and take a tour around California for our new home.”
“You have a realtor?”
He grins. “No. But I’m sure Nash knows a few.”
He sets the paper back on the table and pulls me against him again. His arms wrap around me tightly, and I sigh.
“I’m sorry. I guess I thought if I told myself I’d learn enough times, then all this anxiety would go away, and it’d turn out fine.”
“I think we’ll figure something out,” Enfield says. “In fact, I’m confident of that.”
“Yeah?”
“Yep. As fucked up as this began between us, I do think you’re the person I’m meant to spend my life with.”
My heart jumps into my throat. “I am?”
“You are. I can’t explain why I feel that way, but for years, all I’ve wanted is to be alone and live my life however the fuck I want to with my kids, and the rest of the damn world can burn.
No one was ever going to be important enough for me to change my mind on that.
Somehow, I can’t fathom living without you, and I’m not willing to let something come between us.
I won’t put my kids on the back burner, but Xavi, you’re not on the back burner either. You’re my priority too.”
I press my face into his neck. “Thank you.”
“I want this. I want you. I’m not willing to let you walk out of my life until we’ve tried and exhausted every solution to make this work, no matter how far-fetched and outlandish they seem.”
“I want this too. More than anything.”
“Good. Also, if it pisses Sparrow off that I get to keep you, that’s a bonus,” he says, and I hear the smugness in his voice.
I laugh. “Oh my god, please tell me you two aren’t going to be hinting at poisoning each other for the rest of our lives.”
“For the rest of our lives,” Enfield insists.
“Enfield!”
He laughs. “I’m not even sorry. His animosity toward me is derived from his love for you, and that’s something I respect. However, if you tell him that, you’re going to be sleeping in the doghouse.”
I grin. “Okay.”
We’re quiet for a few minutes as we stand in the kitchen wrapped in each other’s arms.
“How sturdy do you think this table is?” Enfield asks.
I glance back at the breakfast booth. “I don’t know. Why?”
“You think anyone has had sex on it?”
“Oh god, I hope not. Gross.”
“Why is that gross?”
“Because it would likely be my parents or one of my brothers and ew. I don’t want to imagine that.”
“What if none of them have?”
“Good?” I guess.
He chuckles. “You’re being as slow about my hinting as I was about prepping.” Enfield leans back to meet my eyes. “I want to fuck you on the table in the kitchen to celebrate our success. You up for that?”
A thrill of excitement races through my body, and I glance at the table. “I can’t do that,” I say, even as the idea percolates in my head. I can see it. I can imagine hearing my moans fill the kitchen and my cheeks heat. “That’s just… we eat there, Enfield!”
“Now we’re going to get the table so dirty it needs to be bleached.” He kisses my lips and backs away. “I’m going to get some supplies.”
“Don’t forget, like, eight towels.”
“Nah,” he says on his way to the door. “I want you to feel the cold wood against your sweaty skin as I pound into you, angel.”
He leaves me alone in the kitchen, and I glance at the table. Oh my god.